coffee break [maintenance au]
Smallcar was, for lack of a better term, burnt the fuck out.
He had just spent over 35 hours straight compiling data for potential new recruits, assessing applications, keeping tabs on what employees were out on patrol (about 94.19% of them, the rest either don't do patrol or are simply foolish cowards who should not have signed up for this (Smallcar's thoughts, not mine)) burning poorly written applications, and so on.
However, the Big Boss, as the Big Boss had insisted on calling themself as to not reveal their sort of obvious identity at this current moment, had not given Smallcar an a-ok for a break. Plus, Smallcar was unfortunately enough of a rule follower that he'd rather be stuck in a 'done with this shit' expression for another 35+ hours than march up to the Big Boss' office and demand a break and a big glass of water. So he simply just kept chugging along at his work, until...
"SMALLCAR!!! YOU'RE FREE!!! WAHOOOOOO!!!"
A certain Bean Boat bounced into his office, somehow bringing a bucketload of confetti and that one sound effect of a bunch of kids saying "Yaaaaaaaay!!!" with him. Smallcar spun out of his seat and collapsed to the ground beneath him with a tiny thud. The confetti disappeared as soon as it landed on a surface.
After quickly de-escalating his energy to something more suitable in this corporate space, Bean offered an entire paw to Smallcar, who gave him an offended look until he realized that Bean only wanted to help him to stand up.
"T-thank you, I guess," Smallcar started, "but what do you mean by 'you're free'?"
Bean leaned on the larger desk that Smallcar's tiny desk and setup was situated. "Big Boss said that it's a-ok for you to take a break, everything is running smoothly."
"Ah. Well, I supposed it was-" He paused to yawn. "It was. About time."
"Oh yeah, and I'm also supposed to give you this."
Bean pulled out a comically miniscule steaming mug of coffee from out of the apparent cartoon pocket dimension behind his back and handed it to Smallcar, who looked like he hadn't had a coffee in 35+ hours. Which was accurate, since, well, it had been. He then proceeded to obtain his own cup from the aether as well, and took a sip.
"I don't understand why we can't just, like, hit you with a- whatsit- with, like- fiddlesticks- with the opposite of a shrink ray. You know?"
Smallcar almost spat out his drink, despite not even having a lick of it in the seconds it took for Bean to make that remark. "...what did you just say to me?"
"Look, I get it! You're the small variant. From the small universe or wherever. I think. Maybe. But would it kill the Big Boss to, I don't know, even the playing field a bit? Make it so that you're less squishable as a butterfly?"
"I'm doing fine. And proportions would make it so that I'm shorter, either way," Smallcar sighed, rolling his eyes. "Because you lot just have to be so long..."
"HEY! I'll have you know that in my case, they had to stretch my original design out because it 'wasn't as appealing for an audience that needed a more mature persona to be able to trust while still maintaining cartoonish whimsy', THANKS!" Bean threw in a fun fact there.
In a decided lack of verbal response, Smallcar downed his coffee and slammed it down at his desk. Bean instinctively mimicked this, and stamped his own coffee mug down on the larger desk. Right on top of Smallcar and his entire workspace. On accident.
Bean blinked. And then, he said, in a very composed and calm manner:
