Maturity in Love
I’ve spent a great percentage of my life falling in and out of love. I’ve seen the different cycles of types of people, felt indescribable connections, and said “I love you” way too many times. Tendencies and addiction follow us through the mysterious haze of the maze of love. Many years of falling into the same holes put me where I am now.
It’s been almost two years since I’ve been with anyone. Seems like it was yesterday that I was driving to get a girl something before skipping class just to go lay down and cuddle with her before work for a few hours. I remember the way that skin feels when both bodies touch. It’s so weird how natural but complicated it is to hold somebody for comfort.
I’ve spent most of my time studying and sleeping it off. I guess in a sense I’ve lost my will to look for a partner.
I met a girl at the school’s starbucks. Traded her my sweater for her hat. Now I see her every day monday-friday and get to say hi at least once a day. We follow each other through social media but even then it doesn’t seem to be enough for me to jump out of my way to reintroduce myself into the social love life scene. She seems, interesting. I don’t get horny thinking of her though. I don’t think I do with anyone anymore. I just get bored now and feel uncomfortable then I find a way to blow it off as if it didn’t mean anything.
Is this maturity?
I’m known to jump into whatever seems to be safest right away but these past two years I’ve just spent it learning about how difficult it is to connect with someone. I’ve lost my will and passion for love. I recently unblocked everyone from my social media. I felt that I should no longer have any remorse or anger towards anyone, specially when it wont change a thing. I ask again, Is this maturity, or is it just a misguided lost of interest.
