fragments.

Morning glories. They hang on vines with a carefree elegance all along the wall that divides my backyard and the street. They just showed up there a few days after we moved in this spring. We don’t water them or nurture them in any way beyond admiring them and talking about how much we love them. In the morning they’re violet, but when the sun hits them in the late afternoon, they’re a deep…

nothing stings more than the taunt of endless wait, reprimanding me for trying and trying again, this time hoping that when I say, “do you remember when…” you’ll say something like, “I do.” (and it’ll feel like you meant it now, and then too).

Oh, body –

You are curvier, softer, bulgier, more scarred, more stretched, you are more than you’ve ever been before. You are also more seen, more loved, more respected and heard and adored. You don’t look the way you used to, but I remember what you have accomplished, I know you now, I don’t fight you or wish to change you. I don’t turn a deaf ear to your needs, to your asks. When you say “lay…

did i figure it out this time?

every time i write, i dream about you and i awaken with this feeling i’ve been trying to word for years it isn’t quite eagerness or excitement but there’s an “almost” about it an anticipation but somehow also feels like i’m already in the middle of that which I’m anticipating like i’m excited to go where i think i’m going but i’m already there, because there you are, eyes locked on…

You were sugar when i found you – sweet, soft, white slipping from my fingers, but leaving a sticky sweet taste. You were honey when we grew, coating my insides with comfort gluing me together, or was it I that held you? You were salt when I fell in love, cold, sharp, unforgiving in access, necessary, addicting. What do you taste like now, I wonder. Fuller, more refined than the…

I’ve forgotten where my words live

Today, I decided to look. I peel back the curtain to find a world shrouded in fog, I marvel at what sunlight did to the fog, so bright yet powerless.  I glance at my desk, taunting me  with all that needs to be done.  I sigh and walk towards it, plop myself down on my swiveling chair, the one that I suspect is slowly killing my back. I gaze into the distance. The world blurs. I’m…

quiet parts of the day,

it lives

on the surface of leaves

gleaming as they catch

morning light,

The shell of your ear,

the creak of your swing,

back and forth, back and forth.

in the gentle sway of the honeysuckle vines

outside my window.

Unfocused eyes, hovering

from branch to branch,

searching beyond the confines

of this oasis, saying,

“This is good, but

there’s more, I…

Like many others, I find myself caught in an endless loop of to-do lists. As soon as I check something off, I find more to add. And then I wonder why the list never gets shorter! Do you also find yourself fixating on everything that remains to be done instead of being pleased about that which has been completed? It’s such a demoralizing feeling! It tears you, slowly unraveling, layer by layer,…

hello

to something inside me

that wants out,

that lives

in small, stolen moments,

survives

despite my best unconscious efforts

to shove it aside,

forever on a back burner,

forever pinned as

“I’ll come back to you”.

my dear forgotten child,

i’m back for you,

thank you for waiting.

nahin, humaara.

(no, ours).

s p a c e

You’ve got to remember to

stop.   I had a happy thoughts journal once, and I pushed myself to write down the happy thoughts I had, as reminders, sweets on a sour day – one I anticipated would come. Does that sound like saving money? Frugality with happy thoughts? What a sad thought, that is. I don’t know what it was, but it was nice for a while. I filled may be two pages of that journal, and couldn’t get myself to use it…

mere gaane (my songs)

Hindi — music for you jazz with words you don’t understand what this means to me.    

It’s been a while! I’ve decided to write and post more frequently on here. It’s been a weird internal journey  trying to figure out exactly what I should write and what should be the focus of this blog, this little digital space I have carved for myself. It’s been an even stranger journey of self-doubt trying to figure out if I still have the ability to create – prose poetry, essays, stories,…