surprise, porky!

Doug’s eyes widened, playing off her joke. “That’s. Terrifying.” His head bobbed with each word. “Can you imagine? It’s basically just a giant weapon designed to know exactly what you can’t handle. It’d make HAL look like a stubborn child.” However after a moments consideration, it really did seem terrifying. I mean look at it, a little voice inside his head told him. The code shifted before his eyes back and forth. It’s nothing else. Look how upset it is. You’ve probably found some kind of terrible virus. Some terrible sentient virus and now you’ve copied it on to you computer and— “Maybe I copied it wrong?” He said, thinking out loud and hopefully inviting a less dystopian explanation. “Or, like…” Doug frowned and shrugged. He turned to Kitty in hopes she’d fill in what it might be like since he hadn’t a clue. 

“Or, like, maybe Elon Musk was right and our reality really is just a computer simulation and this whole time we’ve been chilling on some cosmic neck beard’s hard drive. Until now.” she offered, unhelpfully, “Maybe you’ve just found the fatal flaw in the code. Our very existence could be a binary string of 0′s and 1′s and you might be two seconds away from blowing this shit wide open.” Her eyes widened as she said this, like a physical exclamation to her point. And as she came up with a more absurdist thought train, her mouth twisted up into a brilliantly devious smile. “Or maybe this is like the Truman Show and I’m just an actor in your life. This whole danger room code thing is just a weird plot point in the episode. Oh, and hey, wouldn’t you know it... The script says I’m supposed to take the rest of your M&M’s.” She reached over him and grabbed the candy bag from the other side of the counter, launching a handful of the chocolates into her mouth. “Honestly, if you ask me, the Doug Show really jumped the shark after the fifth season.” 

Pietro has to suppress a laugh at her claims. She looked as innocent as they come, and he knew looks could be deceiving as his sister proved that but it wasn’t just that she looked it. She oozed it. And in addition to that innocence, Pietro could feel a wild streak wanting to break free. Of course he found that attractive, and he didn’t mind helping her out. Grunting in thanks when she finds one of his boots, he stuffs his foot into it and hops on one leg to pull it on properly. Behind her he spots his other boot and hands her the joint he’s holding before moving around her to grab it. He could go to her left where there’s far more space to pass but instead he squeezes between her and the bed, a hand on her lower back to ease his way through. “Donuts, eh?”

He could do with a sweet fix, especially after spending the day getting high. A voice in his mind reminds him that it’d been a long while since he’d had any of Wanda’s sweetness as well, and his teeth certainly missed that ache. It’d also be a good distraction, a way to put Klara on the back burner of his mind. Still no peep, no idea where she’s gone or who she’s with. It was beginning to plague him at night, wondering if she was safe and who was feeding her. Sometimes her face changed in his dreams, became gaunt and her eyes lifeless. It was those nights he woke up in a fever, wishing more than ever that he had his sister at his side. “Let’s do it then,” he says as if she’s the one taking her time leisurely dressing. He stands in front of her, mere inches as he pulls on a shirt. His hair is a mess when his head reemerges, but he simply grins at her. Plucking the joint back from her, he gestures towards his door. “Let’s go, little cat.” 

She can only watch him in silence, an amused look plastered on her features. The ease at which her plan was unfolding was both a delight and mystery to her, one she didn’t bother thinking too much about. The important part was that it was happening. Donuts were in her future. And judging from the hand that found her lower back, it seemed a little something else might be, too. But she tried not to jump ahead. Fooling around or not, Kitty was pretty keen on figuring him out. Pietro was an odd dude, and admittedly she wasn’t yet sure if it was in the good or bad way. What she did know about him was meagre, based wholly on what she’d garnered from their brief conversation in her classroom, and all the, frankly, jarring things she’d heard secondhand. All of which only gave her a discombobulated image of who he was as a person, leaving her with far more questions than answers. The only thing she’d concluded at this point was that he was A, down for criminal acts and B, a fan of donuts. And C, has really nice hair. She thinks that one’s probably less important, but important nonetheless.

The next thing she knew, he’s urging that they go, in a tone that suggests she was the one keeping him waiting. She rolls her eyes, but the grin on her face keeps it a light-hearted gesture. For a brief second, she considers retorting with a nickname of her own but the only thing she could come up with was Tall Guy and that was just embarrassing. Instead she heads out the door in face-saving silence, though it hardly lasts a minute. She turns to him as they make their way down the hall. “Okay, serious question,” she says, as a few students move past them. “Do you ever bother driving anywhere or do you just, like, run?” Not the most probing question, she admits, but it was a start. And something she’d been dying to know. 

The laughter that came from the other mutant made Kurt smile, and at her claim of being impressed, Kurt grinned outright, bowing. “Danke,” he said, an eyebrow arching after a moment. “Well, you are a very convincing fräulein.” He bamfed into a standing position next to her, then followed her (walking, of course) to the Professor’s office. At the idea of Kitty showing him her powers, his head tilted to the side, and he grinned again. “All right, Kitty. Ja, I do.” He took her hand, though still a little cautious.

With his blessing, she phases them through the door and into the Professor’s office. She remarks, “not bad, eh?” and makes a bee-line for Xavier’s desk. She’s pleased to find the keys exactly where she predicted they’d be. Plucking them from the little bowl, she turns back to Kurt and shows off their loot. The key chinked against the chain as she wiggled it around. “Come on,” she advised then, grabbing Kurt by the arm, “let’s scram before Xavier’s ‘naughty pupil’ senses start tingling and he figures out what we’re doing.” She phases them through the door and the pair head for the garage, meanwhile triumphantly swinging the keyring around her pointer finger. “You know, that was almost too easy.” 

“Uh yeah Kitty, pretty sure it’s pretty bad…” he responds. He nods, glad she’s taking the advice to heart. Bobby pulls a face at the explanation. “Wonky code? What made it wonky? I haven’t downloaded anything malicious, right? Was like… could it maybe be a student trying to hack in and change their grades? Should I go back through all the grades and reconcile them?” He folds his arms, staring daggers at her for a second before his gaze softens. “I did, but he’s hetero, and like, he’s a student. Cute, but probably not allowed even if I’m only a year older than him.” Bobby shrugs, looking at her. “I just wanna cuddle up with a cute boy and watch Netflix. And I don’t mean Netflix and chill or anything. I just wanna have something innocent and fun.”

It was a lazy day, too snowy outside to have track practice said the acting headmistress which cracked Pietro up because where he grew up this was par for the course. Still, he figured they didn’t want to get in any trouble with whiny American parents so he shut his mouth and took the day to lay around in his room and get high. Lounging on the bed in his jeans and hair unkempt, he stares at the ceiling with one hand tucked into the waistband of his pants. The smoke floats up in soft wisps and makes him think of all the incense burning in Wanda’s room. Was she there? Had she taken the day to rest too? He was tempted to check but as he was working up the energy he heard a voice in his room.

Startling to sit up, he lets the joint hang from his lips as he stares at the teacher he’d had an interesting discussion on capitalism with a few weeks back. Pietro raises a brow, speaking around the joint as he runs his hand through his hair. “A crime? You do not seem like the crime type,” he looks her up and down, appreciating that despite that she was very nice to look at. Humming, he mutters, “Then again neither does my sister. Right then.” Standing up, he looked around lazily for his shoes. “What crime do you  have in mind, little one?”

Kitty phases all the way into the room, staring at him through the cloud of smoke in both avidity and faux-contempt at his initial comment. “Uh, excuse you,” she remarks, hands planted firmly on hips, “I am so the crime type.” The fact that this had gone so smoothly is bemusing to her, but she tries not to show it. Either this guy just enjoys a good crime, she thinks, or has a lot of hang-ups. Given all she’d heard about him and the tumultuous relationship he has with his twin sister, she’s inclined to think both. 

She watches him as he tries to find his shoes, then notices just the toe of a leather boot sticking out from under the bed. She uses her own shoe to wedge it out, and gently kicks it toward him. She had no clue where the other one was. It only occurred to her then that she’d not come up with a solid plan of action before requesting his collaboration. Her mind races, attempting to drum up something good. Something fun. It was hard to tell if it was just her natural thought pattern that led her to consider food first, or perhaps the result of a secondhand high (she always did get the munchies when she smoked weed), but that is exactly where her mind went. “I was thinking we rob that Dunkin Donuts in town,” she blurted out, not bothering to consider any other ideas. “I bet we can clean them out without any of the staff ever noticing. And then we celebrate. With donuts.” 

Even thinking about people staring at him in horror, Kurt couldn’t help it when Kitty gestured at her dragon-clad self. He grinned, then chuckled. Really, he was considering it, if only because he didn’t want his new friend (???) to leave just because he wouldn’t do an activity with her. When she requested that he demonstrate his abilities, he nodded, smiling, and set down his tea. With a cloud of purple smoke, he bamfed away from the couch he was on and onto the couch next to her, leaning his head on his hand, elbow on the top of the couch. “Guten abend,” he said, grinning. A pause, then he added, “Maybe we can go for a short time?”

She burst out in delighted laughter. She had seen people teleport before, but it was never quite that theatrical. The cloud of smoke was a nice touch, she thinks. The subtle scent of sulfur hung in the air. “Alright, Kurt Wagner,” she commends, “I’m impressed.” She shot up excitedly from her seat at his final words. “Excellent. I knew you’d come around. Come on.” Now a girl on a mission, she took off down the hall. “Xavier usually keeps his keys in this little glass dish on the desk in his office. Of course, it’ll be locked, but that’s never stopped me before,” she explained, looking over her shoulder to assure that he was keeping stride. Coming upon the doors that lead into the Professor’s grand office, she reached out and jiggled the knob. Locked, as expected. She then extended her hand to him. “Well, it is my turn to show you ‘mine.’ Do you trust me?”

“Also like, isn’t the word spaz bad?” he asks himself while worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. Bobby takes the laptop off her hands a few minutes later and starts to input a few grades once he’s reconciled them with his grading book he submits them, and of course it works. “What was wrong with the program?” he asks, turning to look at her. He’s met with a cheek pinch, and that causes him to wrinkle his nose at her and bat away her hand. “Do you have to always do that!” he screeches. “Also like, I need dating help. Like serious dating help. I can’t find any boys to go to see a movie with me.”

Kitty wastes little time in wandering down the hall and to his door. She didn’t use it though. Instead she phases through the wall without so much as a knock or heads-up, peaking in with just head and shoulders. “Hey, pal, wanna do a crime?” 

“I’m not having a spaz attack,” he mutters in retort. Bobby shakes his head, “I really don’t watch it. I don’t think my roomie would appreciate it. Plus like, I’d rather just go on a date than anything else.” He watches her, amazed at how easily she’s able to pour through all this information that looks like Russian to him. He could speak fluent Spanish, but this was something else entirely. “I mean, sometimes?” he asks. “It’s not like I teach much. I just… go around and help? I do the marking and then put the grades into the system when it’s working. They like me though, so that’s something.”

She tried telling herself that this self-imposed isolation had nothing to do with the fact that she was avoiding a certain someone who’d accidentally seen a certain part of her body, but that was a big part of it. So as she slinked out of her room, she used all her combined skills to get to the kitchen undetected. She mapped out the route in her head, phasing through all the appropriate walls and sneaking around corners. She let out a sigh of relief as she passed through the wall into the kitchen, and her thoughts were self-congratulatory as she strode to the pantry: I, Katherine Pryde, am the greatest ninja in the whole entire -- as she pulled back the door to the pantry, she nearly fell back on her ass in shock. Standing there among the fruit snacks and Pop Tarts was the very person she’d been trying to avoid. Wade. 

“Jesus christ, dude,” she managed to sputter out, “Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

“It’s just the recent update, it crashes the whole system,” he tries to explain. Bobby goes completely red, so he has to turn to ice to avoid it all. There’s just no getting away from this. “Oh my God, I don’t watch porn!” he shouts, voice completely cracking at the same time. “You can check my browser history, seriously,” he deadpans. Because he totally watches it on his phone anyways, the few times he ever does. Checkmate. Though, he’s not sure if his phone and computer browsers are linked which may be a problem. “Yeah, well it sucks when you’re only a year older than most of your students. Kinda sucks.”

He didn’t like seeing her frown, and at once wished he hadn’t said anything. But then she said she got an idea, and his head tilted to the side. Curious, he listened, puzzled when she started suggesting they go to a convenient store. “But…” he began to say, frowning slightly. “Ze poor convenience store owner will have a fright when he sees me.” Though he finds himself chuckling at the idea of A) stealing the Professor’s car and B) driving it somewhere. A pause, then, trying to distract her a bit, he added, “I can teleport, you know.” He smiled slightly.

“Oh, come on. Nobody’ll be looking at you. Not when you’re with all this,” she teased, gesturing vaguely at her current dragon-like visage. She had no intention of forcing him anywhere if he wasn’t comfortable, but she didn’t want to drop the idea just yet. A joy ride in Xavier’s car was still something she’d yet to check off her bucket list. Perhaps she could still persuade him. Her brows shoot up as he shares his mutation. That was not the power she expected him to have, if she was being honest. “Neat-o,” said Kitty, impressed nonetheless. “Can you show me?” She leaned forward again and rested her head in her hands. “I’ll show you my power, too. You know, it’ll be the whole ‘I show you mine, you show me yours’ gag. Except you’re totally going first.”

Bobby smirks, nodding at her in agreement. He laughs audibly at the joke, “There’s snow one good enough to get the best of me,” he jokes. Bobby turns over the laptop, gesturing to it and leaning back in his chair. “If you need to use the browser to trouble shoot it, please use Firefox, not Chrome,” he instructs before pausing. “Wait! Not for any nefarious reasons, it just makes my laptop crash.” He shrugs, “I mean it’s weird, but I don’t mind it,” he grins back. “I just wish this wasn’t all such a hassle.”

“Boring? What a terrible student you must have been!” It’s possible she didn’t know how horrible he was because he actually put forth the extra effort in her class. When Professor X droned on and on, sometimes Gideon just… fell asleep. He couldn’t help it, the guy though very animated sometimes kept talking before he realizing he’d lost everyone three pages back. Or maybe Genetics just wasn’t the class for him. “Don’t tell him okay, I like him but most of the time I feel like there are question marks floatin’ about my head like a cartoon.”

After glancing up at the clock, Gideon finally makes his way to his own desk. He grab a pack of fries on his way, hoping she wouldn’t miss it. “So, what kinda coding are we doin’ today, Miss?”

Kitty had to laugh at the imagery of this, now imagining a cartoon gargoyle in a cartoon school for mutants. That wasn’t a half bad premie for a TV show, she thinks. “I know what you mean. Sometimes I think he’s too smart for his own good. I’m not sure he knows how to make his lectures any less... dense.” At his final statement, she pulls a face as though she’d just tasted something nasty. “Ugh, don’t call me miss. It makes me feel so old.” Swiveling in her chair a bit, she gives the mouse a tiny shove and her computer monitor blinks to life. She pulls up her lesson plans for the week. “More HTML and CSS stuff. I’m thinking for the final project I’ll have you all code your very own websites. Make it about whatever you want. Though...” she pauses, comically narrowing her eyes at him, “I’m not sure I trust you all not to make it weird.”