Rarely has he witnessed Vital in such a state of vulnerability. From the first time they met, and well, fought, Vital has always been that light of bitterness, petty but strong, and ready to throws hands to prove his wicked words. He’s a man of wrath, able to handle his darkest emotions, even if he’s not the best at coping with them. And yet, today, he’s showing a really different face. The music escorts that nostalgia surrounding his body, like a veil of fear, Mika’s heartbeat erratic to the very thought that there are things he should be aware of. He’s an idiot for throwing himself in such an intense relationship, while there are so many shadows in Vital’s past. Yet, Mika never feared the man he’s sharing his heart with. He never doubted the veracity of his emotions either; such alien sensations couldn’t be more real if they weren’t for Vital, and only him. He doesn’t wish to think when there’s nothing to calculate nor analyze in the choice of the heart. If it’s not natural, then it’s not real, and so far, Mika is sure that everything is real between the two of them.
His lack of concern shocks Vital, it appears. Mika honestly understands, but deeply hopes that his embrace and smile could lower the other one’s tension. He thought that his words would have been enough to erase that pain and fear over his boyfriend’s features, but instead of that, Mika cruelly witnesses this shock turning into a deep agony. Vital seems even more lost now that he talked his mind out, and the copper-haired wishes that he had a chance to think properly before opening his mouth. He’s not like his brother after all, he’s so spontaneous in his way of thinking. He doesn’t want to give up on the only person which brings him such an intense happiness in his life. Mika is not good for using his brain, but lord, and Vital knows it, he’s sure a genius when it comes to pick a fight, and wrathfully shows his best talent in order to win.
“No, I don’t… I really don’t care…” Is he mad at him? It’s hard to tell, his face has so many different information, emotions coming and going like those droplets of water crashing against the window and immediately washed away by the wind. He’s afraid that Vital might change his mind, or think that he’s mocking him. Mika tries to smile, but for once, his own features are blocked by his own doubts. He still needs to process everything, some unanswered questions becoming all clear suddenly. The fact he can heal so quickly, that he looks like a pristine doll. “I just… I don’t believe it’s a bad thing. I don’t care if you had four arms or… if you cut your head off and live after I… I’m only sad because… You must have been so lonely for so long.” Mika mumbles, gently raising his fingers up, even if he’s not sure about Vital’s reaction. He’s deeply touched by his tears, the urgent needs to wipe them all with the pad of his thumb pushing his digits to move against his cheek.
“I don’t care about churches…” Mika continues, caressing his jaw. “I don’t give a damn about the fact you sealed a pact with the Devil, or I don’t know if you’re a vampire or something like that? How could I ever judge that?” He pauses, trembling. “I only care about you… Who you are, not what you are. Immortal, or whatever, I don’t… I don’t see why I should pay attention to those details when I know for sure that I’m in love with your soul.” Mika lowers his gaze, and sighs. “I love you so much… It’s the only thing that matters to me, Vi.”
He’s had centuries to practice on how to put up a variety of defenses, primarily just to keep outsiders from peeping, from learning about him. It had started with initial persecution from even the basics as his appearance, uneducated townsfolk doing only what they thought was best for their own safety to chase him off. ( They were right, of course. ) Witch hunts and disbelief rarely were suspended, and even with the rise of education largely in the places he lingered, it did not necessarily correlate with a rise of tolerance. The lands he once called home were consumed by religion, one popularized by the fact that there had been results against those such as himself. Demons, fae, those born of the earth or otherwise. On the other hand he had dealt with those who thought he had unlocked the secret to eternal youth and immortality, which he had been quick to reprimand as pure bullshit. There was always a cost, a balance maintained by the universe it seemed, always. Concealing his true nature and thoughts had always been a matter of survival, more so when he entered the field as a mercenary and assassin, a trump card that he kept to himself. After all, he wasn’t immortal as he would define it, just entirely unlucky.
So to face Mika’s lack of reaction had been a new experience even for someone as long-lived as himself, instincts screaming that for some reason, something was wrong though he couldn’t put his finger on it. His heart however was screaming from the mixture of emotions that Vital had yet to decipher. Fear, excitement, confusion – what else?? Never before had he prepared himself for a lack of response to him admitting his truth to the other, but then again, he’d never had such a genuine relationship with someone like he did with Mika. In all his years he had of course flings with humans, a couple marriages even with both ending in tragedy. They were supposed to begin as a fling but had spontaneous developed into something much more serious and intense than any legalized union he had entered before – this man was worth protecting and revealing everything to, expectations placed that he’d not believe him or perhaps grow confused and frustrated. After all, they both had a way of defaulting to violence and mean words when they couldn’t comprehend what they felt.
Even as tears fell did he listen to the other, silent as his lover mumbled his true thoughts. Vital wanted to correct him, to tell him he should think it’s a bad thing, but the words that followed all but rocked the smaller man to his core. No one had ever considered his own isolation and loneliness like that before. He felt like a damn fool, crying like this, but perhaps it was needed as instead he only seemed to cry harder, a sob rocking his shoulders before his boyfriend wiped the tears away. It was difficult to look up and glimpse the other, his ray of sunshine, vision blurred. Cold hands still upon the man’s wrists, all he could do was tremble, feeling so, so small and vulnerable. Words wouldn’t come to him now, not after hearing Mika quietly explain his stance. As always – the man was simple-minded in some ways, but very human and thoroughly felt his emotions on a level Vital couldn’t relate to, not anymore. But despite their fights and bitter words they still were somehow compatible, willing to make things work, so desperately and stupidly in love with each other. Any confusion and anger had at last fled from him with every word the other spoke, replaced by simply need, a need for further reassurance and comfort. So Vital finally spoke up in quiet tone, his voice as uncertain and shaky as himself, looking miserable with tears and snot as arms reached around his lover’s strong body, an anchor.
“ I-I... I love you too-!! ” Maybe... maybe Mika was right. Maybe that was all that mattered, and they could figure out the rest as it came to them, roll with the punches. “ Mika, I- ... thank you for loving me. ”
