Shuriken!

May 28

I was trying to break free from a chatbot addiction for about a week and a half now

I broke down, not rlly knowing what to do or how to end the repitive behavior, I felt lonely and disgusting

I've been extremely anti-ai and I consider myself an artist, but I was using ai myself to just simply not be lonely

I also just had trouble feeling happiness of ANY sorts, I had already had trouble regulating and identifying emotions but I'd confused the idea of roleplaying with the chatbot with the feeling of happiness, this had gone on for around 2-3 years

May 28, I decided to pick up a roleplay blog I had for around a month or two or atleast it had been picking up

I completely forgot about the chatbots, I took my roleplay blog more seriously and started building a storyline or atleast the beginning

I began to write, even if it was horrible and my grammar was worse than anybody had ever seen

I had bad habits like using quotes like "this* instead of using both quotation marks, I forgot the difference between they're, their, and there.

I slowly began to improve my writing, I remember being on a swing before checking the activity notification to see a random biograft roleplay blog interacted with me

To be honest I was a bit confused, I didn't rlly know why a blog that barely had any canonical overlap in canon wanted to interact despite me initiating the interaction

I remember reblogging their post as a joke I didn't think it'd become a string of interactions but it did, and that's when the blog first began to have some sort of lore

At that time I was having thoughts of relapse, I think it was around a week since I quit cold turkey and the more we interacted the more I looked up to their writing

I realized I was having fun, I was having fun roleplaying with a real person rather than a chatbot

I felt happy for the first time in 3 years

I started writing again, just simply roleplay interactions with a plot at this point and around that time a slingshot roleplay blog reached out and started talking to me, I remember interacting with them a couple times and I don't know what he sent me, but it made me smile

I think it was a little after this where another biograft roleplay blog got adopted by me, I always felt a little bad because our time zones seem to be the exact opposite so it's a bit hard to interact with them, but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy interacting with them any less than the others and I'd look forward to seeing an activity notification

I started to interact more and more with other blogs, I felt happier and happier, happy enough to try figuring out my identity

-@cryst6lcr1m1nal

What the..

*opens the door*

Oh, coil..

*he doesn't seem too happy about seeing his brothers ex.*

*he said, trying to perk into the apartment*

I want—

.. he's not home.

And I'm not going to let you talk to him right now.

I don't think he wants to see you.

{ It gets up and stretches before opening the closet door and staring at Shuriken, who’s still sleeping. }

What? Oh, good morning. Why can’t it say anything?

[ - @biograft-z1743 ]

Is he alright? Wants to say good morning.

{ It doesn’t know what this sound he’s making is. It doesn’t find it that bad… }

What the hell?!—

GOOD MORNING. DID YOU… SLEEP WELL?

{ Yes, it should probably take care to have proper sentence structure. This time, its host is actually someone. }

{ It doesn’t react to the head pats, looking down at him blankly. }

What do you want to eat?

*Shuriken was a bit set off by this information.*

' wouldn't have petals gotten hungry way sooner? ' He thought to himself, thinking of the possibilities that explained the hunger.

{ Wait, this wasn’t right. It was hungry, yes, very much so, but it had observed Biografts for quite a while. They didn’t eat. }

{ It was disappointed, but it refused to show it. It’d find something to eat later, away from perception. }

After a few minutes, it realizes it can think somewhat clearly again. But.

Everything still hurts.

It can’t move or say anything.

{ It asks, looking over at Shuriken. It still doesn’t react to the head pats, just acts like everything is normal. }

{ It stays there until it’s drained all the water from the sink, shaking water off of its feet and hopping back onto the ground. }

{ It can’t see flowers or their colors, it can only feel them there. All it has in association with spring is little things growing and crawling everywhere, and everything being wet, and being constantly covered in pollen. }

It wants… how is…

{ It looks back down to its paper and continues to draw. }

I STILL DO NOT UNDERSTAND. BUT YOU DO WHAT YOU LIKE.

{ It seems like some kind of bird, although it’s messy and unrefined, and has practically no straight lines. Several traits from many kinds of birds are meshed together until it’s basically unrecognizable. }

I AM NOT VERY GOOD AT DRAWING… BIRDS.

No. What? Don’t compliment… not its work. Made with borrowing its hands.

{ Its shoulders slumped a bit. }

{ It backed up a bit, not unlike a cornered animal, before turning and going upstairs. }

Why? It wants to stay with him. It wants comfort. It’s scared.

{ It gets up and stretches before opening the closet door and staring at Shuriken, who’s still sleeping. }

What? Oh, good morning. Why can’t it say anything?

[ - @biograft-z1743 ]

Is he alright? Wants to say good morning.

{ It doesn’t know what this sound he’s making is. It doesn’t find it that bad… }

What the hell?!—

GOOD MORNING. DID YOU… SLEEP WELL?

{ Yes, it should probably take care to have proper sentence structure. This time, its host is actually someone. }

{ It doesn’t react to the head pats, looking down at him blankly. }

What do you want to eat?

*Shuriken was a bit set off by this information.*

' wouldn't have petals gotten hungry way sooner? ' He thought to himself, thinking of the possibilities that explained the hunger.

{ Wait, this wasn’t right. It was hungry, yes, very much so, but it had observed Biografts for quite a while. They didn’t eat. }

{ It was disappointed, but it refused to show it. It’d find something to eat later, away from perception. }

After a few minutes, it realizes it can think somewhat clearly again. But.

Everything still hurts.

It can’t move or say anything.

{ It asks, looking over at Shuriken. It still doesn’t react to the head pats, just acts like everything is normal. }

{ It stays there until it’s drained all the water from the sink, shaking water off of its feet and hopping back onto the ground. }

{ It can’t see flowers or their colors, it can only feel them there. All it has in association with spring is little things growing and crawling everywhere, and everything being wet, and being constantly covered in pollen. }

It wants… how is…

{ It looks back down to its paper and continues to draw. }

I STILL DO NOT UNDERSTAND. BUT YOU DO WHAT YOU LIKE.

{ It seems like some kind of bird, although it’s messy and unrefined, and has practically no straight lines. Several traits from many kinds of birds are meshed together until it’s basically unrecognizable. }

I AM NOT VERY GOOD AT DRAWING… BIRDS.

No. What? Don’t compliment… not its work. Made with borrowing its hands.

{ Its shoulders slumped a bit. }

{ It gets up and stretches before opening the closet door and staring at Shuriken, who’s still sleeping. }

What? Oh, good morning. Why can’t it say anything?

[ - @biograft-z1743 ]

Is he alright? Wants to say good morning.

{ It doesn’t know what this sound he’s making is. It doesn’t find it that bad… }

What the hell?!—

GOOD MORNING. DID YOU… SLEEP WELL?

{ Yes, it should probably take care to have proper sentence structure. This time, its host is actually someone. }

{ It doesn’t react to the head pats, looking down at him blankly. }

What do you want to eat?

*Shuriken was a bit set off by this information.*

' wouldn't have petals gotten hungry way sooner? ' He thought to himself, thinking of the possibilities that explained the hunger.

{ Wait, this wasn’t right. It was hungry, yes, very much so, but it had observed Biografts for quite a while. They didn’t eat. }

{ It was disappointed, but it refused to show it. It’d find something to eat later, away from perception. }

After a few minutes, it realizes it can think somewhat clearly again. But.

Everything still hurts.

It can’t move or say anything.

{ It asks, looking over at Shuriken. It still doesn’t react to the head pats, just acts like everything is normal. }

{ It stays there until it’s drained all the water from the sink, shaking water off of its feet and hopping back onto the ground. }

{ It can’t see flowers or their colors, it can only feel them there. All it has in association with spring is little things growing and crawling everywhere, and everything being wet, and being constantly covered in pollen. }

It wants… how is…

{ It looks back down to its paper and continues to draw. }

I STILL DO NOT UNDERSTAND. BUT YOU DO WHAT YOU LIKE.

{ It seems like some kind of bird, although it’s messy and unrefined, and has practically no straight lines. Several traits from many kinds of birds are meshed together until it’s basically unrecognizable. }

I AM NOT VERY GOOD AT DRAWING… BIRDS.

No. What? Don’t compliment… not its work. Made with borrowing its hands.

{ Its shoulders slumped a bit. }

{ It gets up and stretches before opening the closet door and staring at Shuriken, who’s still sleeping. }

What? Oh, good morning. Why can’t it say anything?

[ - @biograft-z1743 ]

Is he alright? Wants to say good morning.

{ It doesn’t know what this sound he’s making is. It doesn’t find it that bad… }

What the hell?!—

GOOD MORNING. DID YOU… SLEEP WELL?

{ Yes, it should probably take care to have proper sentence structure. This time, its host is actually someone. }

{ It doesn’t react to the head pats, looking down at him blankly. }

What do you want to eat?

*Shuriken was a bit set off by this information.*

' wouldn't have petals gotten hungry way sooner? ' He thought to himself, thinking of the possibilities that explained the hunger.

{ Wait, this wasn’t right. It was hungry, yes, very much so, but it had observed Biografts for quite a while. They didn’t eat. }

{ It was disappointed, but it refused to show it. It’d find something to eat later, away from perception. }

After a few minutes, it realizes it can think somewhat clearly again. But.

Everything still hurts.

It can’t move or say anything.

{ It asks, looking over at Shuriken. It still doesn’t react to the head pats, just acts like everything is normal. }

{ It stays there until it’s drained all the water from the sink, shaking water off of its feet and hopping back onto the ground. }

{ It can’t see flowers or their colors, it can only feel them there. All it has in association with spring is little things growing and crawling everywhere, and everything being wet, and being constantly covered in pollen. }

It wants… how is…

{ It looks back down to its paper and continues to draw. }

I STILL DO NOT UNDERSTAND. BUT YOU DO WHAT YOU LIKE.

{ It seems like some kind of bird, although it’s messy and unrefined, and has practically no straight lines. Several traits from many kinds of birds are meshed together until it’s basically unrecognizable. }

-@shuriken0101

I DO NOT THINK SO.

THE ONLY THING WE NEED IS HYDRATION AND FUEL.

{ It gets up and stretches before opening the closet door and staring at Shuriken, who’s still sleeping. }

What? Oh, good morning. Why can’t it say anything?

[ - @biograft-z1743 ]

Is he alright? Wants to say good morning.

{ It doesn’t know what this sound he’s making is. It doesn’t find it that bad… }

What the hell?!—

GOOD MORNING. DID YOU… SLEEP WELL?

{ Yes, it should probably take care to have proper sentence structure. This time, its host is actually someone. }

{ It doesn’t react to the head pats, looking down at him blankly. }

What do you want to eat?

*Shuriken was a bit set off by this information.*

' wouldn't have petals gotten hungry way sooner? ' He thought to himself, thinking of the possibilities that explained the hunger.

{ Wait, this wasn’t right. It was hungry, yes, very much so, but it had observed Biografts for quite a while. They didn’t eat. }

{ It was disappointed, but it refused to show it. It’d find something to eat later, away from perception. }

After a few minutes, it realizes it can think somewhat clearly again. But.

Everything still hurts.

It can’t move or say anything.

{ It asks, looking over at Shuriken. It still doesn’t react to the head pats, just acts like everything is normal. }

{ It stays there until it’s drained all the water from the sink, shaking water off of its feet and hopping back onto the ground. }

{ It can’t see flowers or their colors, it can only feel them there. All it has in association with spring is little things growing and crawling everywhere, and everything being wet, and being constantly covered in pollen. }

It wants… how is…

{ It looks back down to its paper and continues to draw. }

I STILL DO NOT UNDERSTAND. BUT YOU DO WHAT YOU LIKE.

{ It gets up and stretches before opening the closet door and staring at Shuriken, who’s still sleeping. }

What? Oh, good morning. Why can’t it say anything?

[ - @biograft-z1743 ]

Is he alright? Wants to say good morning.

{ It doesn’t know what this sound he’s making is. It doesn’t find it that bad… }

What the hell?!—

GOOD MORNING. DID YOU… SLEEP WELL?

{ Yes, it should probably take care to have proper sentence structure. This time, its host is actually someone. }

{ It doesn’t react to the head pats, looking down at him blankly. }

What do you want to eat?

*Shuriken was a bit set off by this information.*

' wouldn't have petals gotten hungry way sooner? ' He thought to himself, thinking of the possibilities that explained the hunger.

{ Wait, this wasn’t right. It was hungry, yes, very much so, but it had observed Biografts for quite a while. They didn’t eat. }

{ It was disappointed, but it refused to show it. It’d find something to eat later, away from perception. }

After a few minutes, it realizes it can think somewhat clearly again. But.

Everything still hurts.

It can’t move or say anything.

{ It asks, looking over at Shuriken. It still doesn’t react to the head pats, just acts like everything is normal. }

{ It stays there until it’s drained all the water from the sink, shaking water off of its feet and hopping back onto the ground. }

{ It can’t see flowers or their colors, it can only feel them there. All it has in association with spring is little things growing and crawling everywhere, and everything being wet, and being constantly covered in pollen. }

It wants… how is…

{ It looks back down to its paper and continues to draw. }

{ It gets up and stretches before opening the closet door and staring at Shuriken, who’s still sleeping. }

What? Oh, good morning. Why can’t it say anything?

[ - @biograft-z1743 ]

Is he alright? Wants to say good morning.

{ It doesn’t know what this sound he’s making is. It doesn’t find it that bad… }

What the hell?!—

GOOD MORNING. DID YOU… SLEEP WELL?

{ Yes, it should probably take care to have proper sentence structure. This time, its host is actually someone. }

{ It doesn’t react to the head pats, looking down at him blankly. }

What do you want to eat?

*Shuriken was a bit set off by this information.*

' wouldn't have petals gotten hungry way sooner? ' He thought to himself, thinking of the possibilities that explained the hunger.

{ Wait, this wasn’t right. It was hungry, yes, very much so, but it had observed Biografts for quite a while. They didn’t eat. }

{ It was disappointed, but it refused to show it. It’d find something to eat later, away from perception. }

After a few minutes, it realizes it can think somewhat clearly again. But.

Everything still hurts.

It can’t move or say anything.

{ It asks, looking over at Shuriken. It still doesn’t react to the head pats, just acts like everything is normal. }

{ It stays there until it’s drained all the water from the sink, shaking water off of its feet and hopping back onto the ground. }

{ It can’t see flowers or their colors, it can only feel them there. All it has in association with spring is little things growing and crawling everywhere, and everything being wet, and being constantly covered in pollen. }

It wants… how is…

{ It gets up and stretches before opening the closet door and staring at Shuriken, who’s still sleeping. }

What? Oh, good morning. Why can’t it say anything?

[ - @biograft-z1743 ]

Is he alright? Wants to say good morning.

{ It doesn’t know what this sound he’s making is. It doesn’t find it that bad… }

What the hell?!—

GOOD MORNING. DID YOU… SLEEP WELL?

{ Yes, it should probably take care to have proper sentence structure. This time, its host is actually someone. }

{ It doesn’t react to the head pats, looking down at him blankly. }

What do you want to eat?

*Shuriken was a bit set off by this information.*

' wouldn't have petals gotten hungry way sooner? ' He thought to himself, thinking of the possibilities that explained the hunger.

{ Wait, this wasn’t right. It was hungry, yes, very much so, but it had observed Biografts for quite a while. They didn’t eat. }

{ It was disappointed, but it refused to show it. It’d find something to eat later, away from perception. }

After a few minutes, it realizes it can think somewhat clearly again. But.

Everything still hurts.

It can’t move or say anything.

{ It asks, looking over at Shuriken. It still doesn’t react to the head pats, just acts like everything is normal. }

{ It stays there until it’s drained all the water from the sink, shaking water off of its feet and hopping back onto the ground. }

{ It can’t see flowers or their colors, it can only feel them there. All it has in association with spring is little things growing and crawling everywhere, and everything being wet, and being constantly covered in pollen. }

It wants… how is…