Boy of a Thousand Voices

The first thing he does is check on Miya. He’s awkward and flustered by her every word but he’s sincere and that may end up being the most important thing. He’s trying to be kind without being seen as flirty because he really doesn’t have the confidence to even be flirty. Even saying someone is pretty (outside of his idol persona which has been destroyed anyway) would be enough to make his whole face go red, each word spluttered. He’s actually bad with teenagers and even worse with teenage girls. Without his persona he feels helpless and that’s why his interactions with Miya are often so awkward. But they’re good. And key. Miya brings out some of Kiyoyuki’s better qualities. He is honest to a fault, even, with her. By this point, most of his disguises and mimicry has stopped. That’s why he can tell Miya that he doesn’t feel his crying and sensitive qualities are so bad anymore. Because if he can express them well it means others won’t have to. Or that he can do it on their behalf.

Jiang-li and Kiyoyuki reminisce about the dead and Kiyoyuki again comes to terms with the fact that they were all kids. Just fearful kids. No one here is really evil or bad.

Though... Kiyoyuki is kind but he can’t quite forgive Nana for her actions. Part of it is him taking out frustration on her because he blindly trusted in Kaitaro, Sumiko AND Aiko. He doesn’t want to be naive again so he remains harsh... but Kiyoyuki isn’t very good at being harsh. The words he says are meaner than his intentions. He even says it himself:

“Tell me it’s not stupid to trust you. Swear you’ll never do something like this again or– or– I don’t know… but please help make me believe that we can still do this as a team.” 

He really just wants to believe in her. He wants this to hurry up and go away so they can work together. At his heart, he is naive, like it or not. He is a creature made to believe. This isn’t something that goes away with development.

That’s why when the motive rolls out and the video he sees pictures the Gingerbread Man acting shady, Kiyoyuki seeks him out and talks it over. HE doesn’t want to jump to conclusions. And when Gingie calls him out on perhaps favouring Jiang over him Kiyoyuki thinks it over and apologises properly. Because he’s learned to see past appearances, even his own, he tries his best to respect people... and not just respect them, but equally. For a while he’d been hero-worshipping Kyo in the same vein as Tetsuo. It helped that they didn’t talk much so Kiyoyuki could keep the ideal in his head. To Kyo, he acts a bit rigid, again, like with Tetsuo. But it melts away. All of it does.

Since the one that dies is Gingie, Kiyoyuki feels all the more determined to find out who did it. He doesn’t want to have been the one to spread panic and Gingie deserves peace of mind. It’s not just for Gingie; it’s because it’s the right thing to do. At Chapter 4, Kiyoyuki is pretty much fully developed and changed. He searches for the murderer not out of fear, of duty, of some dedication to someone dead or guilt... it is because he is compassionate and he is driven to do the right thing. After Jiang-li is revealed to be the killer, we see Kiyoyuki go through all of his development and thoughts at once. He wonders why he wasn’t the hero he was supposed to be, why the haircut didn’t magically make him capable, why so many people died and why he couldn’t save them. Jiang-li was a good person, more than any other killer he understood Jiang. The lack of self-worth, the fear, the deep sadness... he could never hate her. Again, it wasn’t her fault, but, why, when he had the same problems, was he unable to save her?

In the end, he comes to his own terms. He still doesn’t see himself all that positively. His deep self-loathing and shame have a ways to go even if he’s come a long way. He can’t consider himself a hero or anything good when so many have died... but he also can’t allow himself to wallow in sadness when others are hurting. And he definitely can’t let Monobear get away with this. His assets shine bright once again; Kiyoyuk is kind and he believes in better. Even if it isn’t good now it should be better. And because it should be better, he works to make it so. He will keep the memories of others forever in his heart. By keeping their memories, mimicking their voices and continuing on... Kiyoyuki is in fact, what he always wanted to be. Strong. He doesn’t see it himself but it’s clear.

The interaction with Akihito is riddled with apologies and awkwardness but it shows just how far the two of them have come. In chapter three, there was still a strange distance as they investigated and in four, as Kiyoyuki thinks on his relationships with people and who they really are, he comes to terms with the fact that Akihito is no more evil than anyone else. In fact, they’re pretty similar. They hang out after apologies and Kiyoyuki even demonstrates his Kyo voice. They have finally become friends.

In the final trial we get to see the new and real Kiyoyuki in his full glory. Goofy at times, awkward, but kind. He is determined to get the cure with or without Sumiko. Even as she dies, he can’t find himself quite able to just write her off as a bad person, a villain. He can’t bring himself to believe everything she said and did... that they were all lies. She cared deep down. She wasn’t quite the victim the rest of them were but she was still a person. Still, he’s not going to take her up on some deal, not when he promised the others he’d end this. And there’s no way he’s going to let anyone else die or get hurt. If there’s a cure out there, they’ll surely find it. Because that’s the way things should be, even if they aren’t. And if he believes in something strong enough... it should come true. He wants it to. Maybe that’s illogical but this has become his strong point. Maybe he’s not the smartest, the smoothest or strongest but his heart will always believe. And that’s a powerful thing.

For wrap-up details I’d say Kiyoyuki had the good fortune to be in RRR because most of his interactions were really awesome. The cast bounced off each other so well and it was such a pleasure honestly. The most important interactions I had were with Kaitaro, Miya, Tetsuo, Akihito and Jiang-li. But everyone really helped me with the development and all the characters were so good. It was great for me to see Kiyoyuki go from a shining idol persona to despair to a faked bravery to a real bravery in the end. He’s not perfect even now but he’s so much better than he was and he’ll get even better in the future. It’s likely that after everything that happened in RRR he has a very close bond with all the survivors but I think he would learn to think of Akihito as a best friend, Harper as a friendly rival, Nana as a good friend and Miya as his closest friend and probably crush. Miya provided the first of many things for Kiyoyuki and she actually helped him become brave. I doubt he’d ever do anything big with his feelings since he has no confidence in himself and would botch anything if he even tried. In his mind, despite everything, he is still below Tetsuhiro and more desirable guys in the world even if he has come to terms with some of his negative traits. Still, you never know right?

Also, for Kiyoyuki... he really never would forget those that died. Tetsuo, Jiang-li, Antoinette, Kaitaro and, of course Sumiko, in particular will always be remembered. He may pick up several habits or hobbies thanks to them. And he would always be on the lookout for their friends and family, to see if they’re okay or let them know what happened. Kiyoyuki is a person who doesn’t forget!

Because of the cut hair, Kiyoyuki feels a buzz of energy and motivation. There’s a lot to do; many people are suffering and he has to be there for them. In his mind, he is trying to reach an ideal so his goal is to do whatever it takes to make it there. The ideal being, a person as good as Tetsuo Shingen. It’s still a bit of a disguise, like his idol persona, but one he doesn’t realise is on so much. Still, there’s plenty of the real Kiyoyuki to see here. To Jiang-li, who needs comfort, Kiyoyuki says: ‘Kindness isn’t weakness’ and this is something core to him. Because it took him a while to realise that himself. For a long time Kiyoyuki was kind to be liked, to be seen as dependable. But without realising it, he had always been rather kind. It’s just that when he saw his own kindness as sincere he recoiled from it, again, afraid that it would be seen as a girly sensitive feeling. The truth is Kiyoyuki has always been kind but he’s been afraid of that. With Jiang-li he admits that kindness isn’t weakness like he’d previously thought so she has no reason to feel this way. He also sees insecurity in Jiang, insecurity that he very much empathises with. She doesn’t believe she should even be alive since Tetsuo was so beloved. It makes him feel a pang of guilt since he also fawned over Tetsuo. But that’s no different than people idolizing Tetsuhiro over him. So he especially takes care of Jiang and has a special sympathy and empathy for her. To Jiang he actually gives advice he needs himself. It’s not very graceful to express yourself but sometimes it’s for the best. Without even knowing it, Kiyoyuki tells Jiang-li the solutions that would work for his own problems. When you’re playing hero, you don’t even notice the obvious stuff.

Kiyoyuki breaks down in front of Tetsuo’s AE, though. Tetsuo tells him he was trying to bring out his inner strength, not his physical strength and Kiyoyuki feels ashamed for thinking the same old pessimistic thoughts prior. He admits to Tetsuo he saw him as a hero and not as a person and that he regrets not being able to have a normal conversation with him. This is a very important thread because it shows Kiyoyuki can become more than the ‘dramatic haircut’ and a mimicry of Tetsuo. Because Tetsuo believes in him. He cries in front of him and although he remains a little bashful he’s not as ashamed as he usually is. Gradually, Kiyoyuki accepts this crybaby aspect of him as part of himself too.

He takes this new-found courage into a conversation with Kaitaro who, in a strange twist of fate, has become the pessimistic one. They find themselves switching places as Kiyoyuki berates Kaitaro for giving up and Kaitaro hates him for throwing it back in their face. Kiyoyuki is so desperate to wake Kaitaro up because he can see that it’s wrong to wallow now. But at the same time, being this much of a busybody and acting ‘disappointed’ when he was not really much better is a bit hypocritical. The interaction ends badly. And it gets worse. At this point it doesn’t matter what the motive is because Kiyoyuki’s so deep into his justice thinking that he can’t imagine killing anyone. No, he’d rather die like an idiot than kill someone because that’s wrong and cowardly and he could never do that to Tetsuo, who expects him to be better. Noting that Tetsuo never said he expects Kiyoyuki to be better, more that that’s how it’s processed.

Kaitaro, Nana and Sumiko are all dead. At least, Nana appears dead. It turns out she was just injured. But Sumiko, who had been kind to him and Kaitaro who he’d been desperate to save take a heavy toll on him. All the deaths really take a toll on Kiyoyuki. It’s key to his character that he cares so much. His tears can be seen as weakness, he sees them as such, but in actuality it is a product of caring too much.

Aiko is not taking Sumiko’s death well. Prior to the murder, Aiko had seemed out of it but she quickly brightened up. Still, Kiyoyuki is perceptive and suspected she was still suffering; he merely assumed she didn’t trust him enough to tell him about it. Here there’s another opportunity to help her and he swoops in to try and support her. Again, Kiyo’s speech style changes to more authoritative and Tetsuo-like. He has the unhappy habit of mimicking ‘cooler people’ when he wants to be seen as brave and dependable. When Aiko has her slip of the tongue, Kiyoyuki’s usual embarrassed self pours back out, no problem.

The trial arrives and... Aiko, the one who he felt needed him, is the killer. Nana wasn’t that innocent either, shocking, as she was so close to Tetsuo, his idol. Hell, even Kaitaro and Sumiko were planning something. In this case, absolutely no one was innocent. Aiko was not only a killer, but the mole. This great betrayal shakes something up in Kiyoyuki. Aiko’s no better than Kemono, who Kiyoyuki still views as pure evil. And yet, she had seemed so sincere at times, so needy... a sukeban, maybe, but lonely. He thought he could help. He feels stupid for being so emotional, so invested and he writes off Aiko’s words as more lies. He really isn’t sure if she’d take him along or not but even if she had, he wouldn’t have wanted that. His place is here now and he has to help the others. Even so, Kiyoyuki can’t hate Aiko the way he hated Kemono and it makes him actually reconsider Kemono who honestly, he hadn’t known very well. His mindset changes from one of black and white to people are people. And the only villain is whoever’s behind this.

During the trial Kiyoyuki had been using a special gift of his... watching. Kiyoyuki is an interesting case as he’s very good at reading people but only when he doesn’t realize it. He immediately picks out Kyo Otonomiya and Tetsuo Shingen as worthy idols. They are tall, strong and handsome. They aren’t cute. Intelligent, as they go through proof and prove Kemono guilty, and calm as they handle the proceedings relatively respectfully. On top of that, they look strong; tough; brave. If you fought with them, you would surely lose. He makes them, in his mind, the ideal to achieve. He needs something to cling to, after all. With this in mind, things go back to normal and Kiyoyuki is seen with a very muted, dull and thoughtful personality, having been emotionally drained.

The beginning of the second chapter has Kiyoyuki’s real self begin to pour in more naturally. He first speaks with Kaitaro again, who is becoming a safe space to him. Although Kiyoyuki is still paranoid and afraid for his life for some reason he sees Kaitaro as safe; perhaps because Kemono also listed them as a target and he recalls the slap from before. He, whether he admits it or not, trusts Kaitaro a bit and thinks they have good intentions. They ask how he feels and he opens up a bit. We also see that despite using Eiji to feel good about himself he did in fact, care. We see him remembering Eiji’s voice. At this point, his mentality is still white and black. He can write off Eiji as pure, White, and Kemono as evil, Black. Therefore Kemono gets no pity. They were unrepentant to the end, what’s there to doubt? They were wrong. His interaction with Miya is just as muted; Miya is trying to put on a brave face but Kiyoyuki’s hardly playing along. He’s dead inside and he can’t get his mind off the atrocities. But the key interaction here is Tetsuo.

Oh Kiyoyuki makes a beeline for Tetsuo, alright. Tetsuo is the absolute idol. He’s the police chief, the hero of justice. He’s everything good Kiyoyuki can think of, and in this situation, Kiyoyuki knows he has to get strong fast. His solution is to run to Tetsuo not for protection but to become strong. This does actually make him a bit stronger but Kiyoyuki won’t realize that until later. The very fact he’s proactive in this right is progress for him.

The next motive appears. Secrets. His paranoia rears it’s ugly head but lowers upon seeing his secret hasn’t been gotten by anybody. Knowing it could get him murdered if he gets someone’s secret, Kiyoyuki opts to not use the machine, preferring the ignorance and possible safety to the threat of death. He isn’t strong enough yet, he needs more practice with Tetsuo. In the infirmary, Kiyoyuki is looking for some sleeping pills having had troubles sleeping on a good day, this problem worsening. It isn’t something he shares. He also considers taking some poison when Akihito returns and brings back some bad memories. Akihito, to Kiyoyuki, is another Kemono waiting to happen and he’s quick to prove he’s not like Eiji; he’s defiant this time. Stronger. He forgives Akihito... so he says, but Kiyoyuki is most certainly not over it. Not by a long shot.

Then it all crashes down. Tetsuo dies and a little part of Kiyoyuki dies too. The part that believes good will triumph over evil. The hope that everything will be alright. But he can’t go back to being the Kiyoyuki of the first chapter. Instead he does his best to emulate, as best as he can in his fragile state, Tetsuo himself. He can’t grieve too much because Nana is already plenty sad and Gingie isn’t taking it well either. The two are clashing and, Kiyoyuki, attempting to channel his inner Tetsuo (in his mind anyway) does his best to quell the sparks so they can investigate.

“I won’t. Forget them, I mean. And you won’t either. I don’t believe that. We should cooperate… it’s what he’d want.”

This is something he says to Gingie. It’s true in some parts but it’s mostly Kiyoyuki’s hope. Despite starting off as a pessimistic character what drives Kiyoyuki is, in fact, his hope. He just doesn’t realise it’s there yet. He has no idea if it’s what Tetsuo would’ve really wanted but it’s what he thinks Tetsuo would want. And for that reason, he can go on.

When Aiko Oshiro tells him to accompany her he is alarmed but ready and happy to help. Perhaps he’s already gleaming like a hero, like Tetsuo was. Harper Michaels joins them and Kiyoyuki is oblivious to Aiko’s gushing.

Then, Antoinette is found out to be the killer and there’s a conflict in his heart. Tetsuo hadn’t blamed her. And she hadn’t meant to do it. It was all just one big mistake. That meant he couldn’t view Antoinette like he did Kemono; it meant that she wasn’t evil. She had been targeting Jiang-li which was still bad but... this brings up a lot of conflict. After Antoinette’s execution, Kiyoyuki continues his path to be strong. He cuts his hair, determined to fill the place Tetsuo left... whilst also believing he could never do such a thing. Although Kiyoyuki does seem more hopeful and energetic after his haircut his development is by no means over. The mere act of cutting his hair is proof of that; he still, even now, relies on tropes and this idea of masculinity. If he cuts off his ponytail, his long hair, to be seem more manly, then he will, in turn, become more manly. In TV shows the hair cut leads to development. He is still mimicking ideas.

But don’t worry, this mimicry leads to real bravery.

Let’s begin with the beginning.

Kiyoyuki Irino’s persona. As a seiyuu.

The first thing that’s worth noting is that Kiyoyuki never even wanted to be a seiyuu. His dream was acting. He practised karaoke and characters by himself because from a young age he was already in the shadow his older brother Tetsuhiro. Now Tetsuhiro is able to achieve everything Kiyoyuki wants to easily and his parents, who love the life of showbiz, love that their son has made it. Kiyoyuki... never really does make it. As he goes to auditions he is repeatedly shot down because he doesn’t look the part of the main character, the one he seeks to be so desperately. This becomes key. In his mind he wants to hurry up and achieve the masculine ideal; to be a hero. Kiyoyuki takes the voice acting gigs as a way of getting to where he wants to be. He’s good at it and he practices all the time, still chasing the dream. The dream he is, again, never meant to reach.

So as he gets into voice acting he gets deeper into his persona. He’s polite, sweet and kind. If he can’t achieve the ideal yet, he’ll play the part that’s been given, the pure young snowflake, naive to the world and how it works. This persona works for him; it charms people and makes him accessible. It’s not something he believes because at this point Kiyoyuki has already become paranoid, something else that’s key. This paranoia makes him believe that everyone can overtake him and replace him - easily. Having Tetsuhiro in his life take jobs and do things so easily is what puts this fear in him. So Kiyoyuki works himself to death, sacrificing potentials friendships, sleep, hobbies - just so he can keep his spot in the world. It’s the only thing giving him meaning.

Roll to the beginning of the RP.

Kiyoyuki’s confused, sure, but his persona is in full force. He is confidently living in his fake skin, being polite to everyone. It’s Miya Iwazumi that first throws him off-course with ‘Kiyoyu’. That hurts him but he won’t admit it. It sounds like a cute girly nickname. He’s not cute and girly, he’s not weak. A girl just coming up to him and using his first name? He’s not used to that and it knocks his persona off. He desperately claws it back but the damage is done. Here again we see the crux of Kiyo’s character; what it means to be a boy and the expectations of it.

Nana Yasuda and Eiji Iseri’s interactions are also important. Meeting Eiji makes Kiyoyuki feel good; you can immediately see him act very, very kindly. This isn’t genuine kindness on his part. It’s him feeling good that he’s not the weakest person here. It’s a sense of superiority and he’s revelling in it. As for Nana, again, his persona gets shattered to pieces. He reveals himself for the immature child he is and he hates that. He’s embarrassed, in more ways than one! Kaitaro Kobayashi has an important has an important role to play here too. Kaitaro is mature; not like most kids. Kiyoyuki is bad with people his own age; he sacrificed his free time for practice and finds social gatherings awkward because he’s not good at it. Too much pretending tires him out and he has no idea how to hold a proper conversation. Why would he-- he’s never had a friend. Fans, sure, they put him on a pedestal and admire his shiny persona. Friends who know him? None. He won’t let people get that close. So Kaitaro’s mature disposition cools him down and he feels no pressure around them which is helpful. They clean together and Kiyoyuki’s need to clean rears it’s head, his need to keep everything just so, a fear of dirt due to his situation at home which has traumatized him.

But enough of that! The murder games become official and Kiyoyuki’s persona pretty much just melts right off. He likes his comfortable space. He’s already been dragged out of his comfort zone but this is just smashing it to pieces and somewhere he has nowhere to hide. His pathetic self is there for everyone to see and he breaks into pieces, having no confidence in himself and a lot of paranoia.

No win Jiang-li de la Rosa he finds someone to protect. Someone to make him feel better than himself; this is how it should be after all, a boy protects a girl, he’s strong and she needs a hand. He clings to this relationship, comforting Jiang, feeling good about it. On the other hand, enter Akihito Ozu who ruins everything. Kiyoyuki is still desperately clawing to whatever scraps of his persona remain. Akihito’s harsh words say one thing to Kiyoyuki: he should believe in his delusional negative fears. All of them. They’re all out to get him. Akihito confirms it. When Kiyoyuki accepts this as the truth he breaks down like a child, panicking, screaming, crying. He immediately views Akihito as black, evil. It makes him feel better because he’s the victim here. Kaitaro influences Kiyoyuki a lot. He’d met Kaitaro prior, having had a pleasant conversation and Kaitaro continues to be please but Kiyoyuki is in a full panic and believes EVERYONE is the enemy. That Kaitaro is placating him -- that he’s a child. Feminine. Weak. Again, the repeated fear. Then Kaitaro does something shocking; they slap him. He’s never been hit before. He’s emotionally distance from his parents and he’s been in pain but to be hit by a person, someone who should adore him, he hopes, shocks him silly. He doesn’t want Kaitaro to abandon him so he begins, again, childishly apologizing, abandoning the persona for simple comfort. Kaitaro is firm but not cruel. It teaches Kiyoyuki, in a subtle fashion, that what he’s doing is not acceptable. Kemono Ito’s threat is much like Akihito’s proving that he is a potential target; he is in danger and he has a lot to fear.

Sumiko Ihara’s words, on the other hand, emotionally challenge him. ‘Isn’t that kinda moe’ she says when he reveals some of his doubts. He immediately recoils and reacts negatively. Moe is not for a guy like him, it’s not what he wants. And he doesn’t believe in it, either. He will not be forgiven nor seen as cute and appealing because he has always been in the shadows. He has never been enough. Showbiz is harsh. His persona may be light and fluffy but he knows that the real world isn’t kind and if he shows weakness he’s done for. But Sumiko has been kind to him so he is kind in turn, albeit a bit short given the sensitive subject. When Antoinette has her room flooded, Kiyoyuki is eager to try and help despite his fear creeping up again. Always ready to help someone else to make himself feel better.

And then the first body appears. It’s Eiji. Of course it is.

In a way this is one of the worst possible people it could’ve been next to Jiang-li. Eiji was Kiyoyuki’s trump card, in his head. Eiji’s the easy target. With Eiji out of the way, who does that make the next easiest target? Light... short... girlish... weak. It’s him. And he’s terrified. He screams until he loses his voice and outright runs away, investigating nothing. The Gingerbread Man and Antoinette are there for him but he’s beyond consolation, crushed and having lost his voice. 

The first killer was Kemono themselves again, confirming a huge fear of Kiyoyuki’s. The person who said they were going to kill did kill. And they killed a weak target. And they mentioned him by name. You, Kaitaro or Eiji. Not only that but Eiji had saved his life in a way. With a naive mistake yes, but in a way he’d been rescued. This was the opposite of everything he wanted. He couldn’t trust anyone. He was scared.

He was going to die unless he killed someone.