Chilladelphia

you can post on tumblr even when you're trying to take a break from social media it literally doesn't count. it's like pepsi max, or pescatarianism

men be like “apparently hating women makes u a misogynist 😂😂”

my most toxic trait is i fucking love work gossip. i play neutral not to be the bigger person or take the high road but to hear slander and hearsay from every side. two coworkers complained about each other to me in the same afternoon and i nearly blacked out from the rush

you literally have to unironically listen to some shit like party rock anthem so you don’t kill yourself

when tiger met dragon

crouching harry hidden sally

These goots need some boots

hey sorry. can you stand a little further back and we try again

Been on lots of dates this year. This one feels right. It also means I have a tendency to date Salvadoreans 😭 let’s hope this one lasts.

they announced the new wizard laws today. DO NOT update your wands. live freely and reject governance

friendship addicts will be like “i just need one more hit of your infectious laughter and zest for life”