BACK TO BLACK

Santana Lopez, 25 year old NYC transplant businesswoman, but this city has given me so much crap over the years I might as well be considered a native. Homeless men try to grope me, tourists fear me, and I have one hell of a resting bitch face. I would tell you I'm not as mean as I look, but that would be a downright lie. I was born in Lima Heights Adjacent and raised on insults. It's how mi abuela put me to sleep at night, and she was not a nice lady. She taught me everything I know. My snark might as well have a body count. There's only one way to get ahead in this city, and because I'm not interested in sleeping my way up to the top, intimidating my competition with how absolutely hot I am is how I do it. Respect is everything, and even though I haven't gotten my big break yet, it's coming. So remember my name, because soon it'll be all over the freaking place. Oh, and also? I have razorblades hidden in my hair. Mhm, tons. Just all up in there. + var ref = (''+document.referrer+''); var w_h = window.screen.width + " x " + window.screen.height; document.write('