°~Rubiluv~°

I look upon this blank page

The urge to write grows

An unscratchable itch

An angry bull tied by its nose

It thrashes and throws

itself - against the bars of my mind

The words at the top of my tongue

The proses rising up my throat

It's a strange feeling, like being choked

But the hands wrapped around me

Are my own

Something primal, deep within my soul

Urges to break free,

But no matter how I pry and pry

It latches

A parasite benign

There is a connection between love and loss

We know this, I know this

If we live we will die, If we cling we will fall

No matter how hard you hold

You'd still let go

Some day, somehow

So why can't I give my thoughts a kiss

And let them leave

As i wander in solitude till the soil rises above my knees

Perhaps I know, deep in my heart of hearts

The love is not all I miss

For in life, hurt is also a part

I don't know if I enjoy partaking in purple prose

I'm not like those poets who write about how the sun sets and arose

I don't know who or even what I am

I don't think I want to, to tell the truth

I think I want to spend the rest of my life

Pondering and being uncouth

The soil is now reaching the nape of my neck

There is not much time but still so much left

So many words I have said, and have yet to say

But I suppose the former should suffice

Come hell or high water, remember me

Remember what I've done, what I've said

I've loved and maimed

I've been loved and been maimed

Some with purpose, most without

But throughout all of this

Suppress it all

No emotions allowed

Let the dominos fall,

The tears evaporate

Evaporate in the dense air

Filled with hate

Breathe it in

Let it fill

Your lungs in strengthening silence

Carry the burden of your mind

Stop, do not

Do not even think to

Lessen the load with others

Let the awfulness stagnate

Inside your empty soul

For admiration rots to envy

Love molds to grief,

For passion burns to anger

To the highest degree

And joy hath diluted to sorrow

Reveal the feelings in due time

But now reel it back in

Reel reel reel it in

And let it eat you

Slowly

The lights in the office building turn on

At exactly 7 am, on the dot

The traffic would be heard before 6 o clock

But today was different, today was odd

The day rolled on till nine, the atmosphere 

Hung heavy over every home

Over the streets, everywhere, far and near

The trees and bushes overgrown

The fishes in the pond

The moon grey stones covered in moss

Across the stagnant puddles and 

Below the canopies and

On the damp sand

Silence yells like never before

For last night all humans vanished, a mystery unknown

But the critters saw, the flying dish in the sky

Scooped up the people and went on by

Everyone up through the unknown

In the blink of a eye

Now not a trace remains on Earth of existing human lives

For they have been taken to an intergalactic ride

A single drop of dew slowly

Slips on a sappling, bloomed anew

The tranquil lake, the mountain view

Sets a new rhythm in my heart

How? I've not a clue

The dandelions diffuse in the wind

The fish emerge and retreat within the warm spring

My mind is serene, not to worry about a thing

Forget all virtues and forgive all sin

For in this moment, near the waterfall

Time stands still

Oh Mother Earth I am your kin

I arose from your soil baked in the sun's kiln

When my time ends, my body will rot

My flesh will decompose within the course crust

My soul shall waft in the breeze, my heart embedded in dust

This time will come as swiftly as

A single drop of dew slowly

Is it wrong to like and love

Wrong to fight and feel numb

Is it wrong that I want to pack and run

Fly to otherwordly places far far above

To destroy everything I own

And wallow in my own sorrow

I know its not right to feel this way

But I try to be a better person every other day

I don't know what tomorrow will bring

Come rain or shine I will win

This strenous battle against my own mind

I can feel my brain

Starting to fall apart

Like the leaves on dry trees

During the beginning of crisp fall

Why can't I feel and move on

Why can't I live and let go

Of the past that haunts me

And the future so daunting

How does thy exist without regret

Without sorrow and emotional debt?

Is this destiny or am I too late

To change the trajectory of my own fate?

The spiral just gets deeper and deeper

More twists and turns

The anxiety makes me weaker

It hurts more than third degree burns

I ponder on while I lie on this dyre folde

A question arises, age old

"To be or not to be that is the question"

But I will at least try to be, that is my confession

Who art thou to cause such damage

To my heart and mind - Such solace

Can not be found here, to be honest

But I will be alright, I promise

The breeze blows over the hills, the daffodils dance in the wind

The very last drop of my patience and will

To endure in this world with hatred and guilt

Threatens to fall

Threatens to vanish

I bite my tongue as life goes on

Because one day, I know

I will find my peace

I will find my soul