Shibereshu

You heard a door closing near you, and looking to your right you saw Seungjoon near the end of the hallway, walking away from the door of his own dorm and towards yours while looking down to his phone. He probably didn’t see you were already there. You held in a giggle and waited silently for him to get closer, and once he was a few steps away, you let out a loud “Boo!”. He let out a short high-pitched scream and almost let his phone slip from his hand from the fright. He looked at you with a shocked expression, still getting over the scare and you laughed. When he processed everything and realised you had been there all along and tried -successfully- to scare him, he whined and even pouted a little. 

—”You’re mean to me…” —He complained, although you knew he didn’t mean it and he was exaggerating it so that you would compensate it.— “Back when we went to the aquarium too, you kept laughing when I got scared of that one video of the shark breaking the glass…” —You almost laughed again when you remembered that scene, but instead decided to take the last two steps to him and wrap your arms around his torso, hugging him tightly.

—”I’m sorry…” —You said, trying to sound apologetic enough even though the smile was quite obvious on your face. He couldn’t stop a short laugh from slipping past his lips.— “Am I forgiven?” —Seungjoon hummed as if he was thinking about it.

—”I don’t know… I don’t know how sincere your apology is.” —You scoffed and then laughed before pulling away a little, enough to be able to place a kiss on his cheek. Then, you pressed yourself closer to him again, resting your head on his shoulder to hide your face on the crook of his neck. You were a little embarrassed about it, about how cheesy Seungjoon was and how cheesy he made you be, yet at the same time you were also a little happy because he made you happy.— “Okay, I forgive you.” —

You two pulled away and then he naturally reached to hold your hand before the two of you started making your way to where the two of you would have a little date that day.  The day of your first date, you had felt like the way your hands fit with each other’s was made to be, but you were still a little scared sometimes that you would blink and open your eyes to find out it had all been a beautiful dream, that the way he expressed his feelings to you just through the look in his eyes or the memory of his lips on yours on your first date had all never happened in reality. As if it was all too good to be true.

This time you would be going to a water park. Kee and Joochan had wanted to go too, but Kee couldn’t because she wouldn’t be back on time from the few days she’d be visiting her family. That’s why Joochan decided to stay home and go on another occasion with her, no matter how much both you and Seungjoon had insisted that it was okay for him to come.

You two had to walk to the bus stop since the waterpark was around the outskirts of the city. The ride was over 20 minutes long, and for the first half the bus was really crowded and the two of you had to stand up. Even if you were holding onto the safety handle, Seungjoon kept arm loosely wrapped around your waist to make sure he could catch you if something like a sharp curve made you lose your balance. After some people got down you two could finally seat down.

When you got there you saw there wasn’t a lot of people in queue despite it being early and a very hot summer day. You wondered if there just wouldn’t be a lot of people at the park or if maybe they were mostly inside already. You didn’t really mind either, but a good amount of people would make a good ambient. While you waited on line to reach the ticket booth you noticed that you could actually hear the noise of the crowd inside but it came from far enough for you to not have noticed it earlier. When you could finally go in, you and Seungjoon made your way to the changing rooms to put on your swimwear and you met again outside. 

—”Now we need to find a locker to put our stuff in.” — He said, and started walking around to look for one. You quickly found it and put your stuff in it, locking it and taking the key. It had a wristband so Seungjoon secured it on his wrist.

When you finally walked into the park itself, the two of you showed your shock at seeing just how big it was, sharing one long gasp. You didn’t expect it to be so impressive but seeing all those different kinds and heights of slides made the both of you super excited to try them all.

—”Which one do you want to try first?” —Seungjoon turned to look at you, but your eyes kept going from one point of the park to another considering all your choices. After a few seconds, you pointed to one of the slides. It seemed to be the highest one in the park and even from the entrance you two could see that there was a bit of queue to get on it.

—”Can we go on that one first?” —He laughed, almost sounding somewhat nervous.

—”So you wanna start strong, I see.” —You were about to say that you could try something else first if he prefered, or to just not go on that one if he happened to be afraid of it or something, but he started walking towards it.— “Aren’t you scared? It’s so high!” —

—”Hmm, somehow I’m not.” —You were actually a little surprised at yourself because extreme heights could be quite scary for you sometimes, yet somehow this didn’t feel dangerous enough to trigger any fear.

Seungjoon teasingly complimented how brave you were and you just laughed. By the time you got to the end of the queue, it had moved quite a bit from where it had been when you first looked it at it so you were not at the first step of the long stairs leading to the top of the slide. You’d probably be there for at least a few more minutes.

—”It’s so hot today.” —Seungjoon nodded and let out a sigh.

—”I hope the queue moves first so we can finally get on the slide and get on the pool.” —You agreed with him and looked up again. The closer you got to look at it, the higher it looked. Maybe you would get a little scared when you were at the very top, but you still hoped you wouldn’t.

—”I think we should have brought some sunscreen.” —You tried to distract yourself from your own thoughts, and it worked. 

In fact, there was something that distracted you even better. Or should you say, someone.

—”Oh, right! I did bring it! But it’s in my bag, should we go get it now?” —You shook your head and were about to tell him that you might as well just wait, get on the slide at this point and then go get it. Looking behind the two of you, more people were coming so you didn’t want to go to the very end of the queue again and you were sure nothing would happen if you made it wait a few more minutes.

But before you could, the people in the step right in front and above yours turned around. They were two girls, and one smiled as she looked at Seungjoon and didn’t even spare you a glance, as if she didn’t even notice you were there.

—”Seungjoon? I thought I heard you, but what a surprise! What a coincidence that we’d bump into each other here!” —

You looked at the girl and then back at Seungjoon. He looked at you from the corner of his eye before responding to her and it was then that the girl finally took a look at you for a second, but she didn’t say anything.

—”Oh, yeah. How have you been?” —He asked politely. You knew a few of Seungjoon’s friends yet had never seen or heard of her, and that plus the tone of cordiality he was using made you assume it was someone that wasn’t as close to him as she pretended to be with her friendly way of speaking.

—”I’m good, but I must admit that seeing you here made my day even better~” —Your eyes widened a little at her words. Seungjoon didn’t say anything, but he looked like he just didn’t even know what to respond because he wasn’t expecting to hear that. The girl didn’t let the silence be prolonged for much longer before she spoke up again.— “How did you do in the exams?” —

—”They went well, I actually managed to pass everything. And you?” —

You bit your bottom lip to stay quiet, although you didn’t even have anything to say. She was probably her classmate and you weren’t going to interrupt his conversation. Yet when she spoke again, you looked back at her with your mouth slightly agape. 

—”As expected of you! You’re so smart, I’m jealous! I actually failed a few subjects… But maybe you could… help me? I’m sure if you tutor me I’ll pass~ And of course, I would reward you for it…” —No one said anything, and you weren’t even looking at them, only lifting your head when she mentioned your presence.— “You’re not his girlfriend, right? So you won’t mind if Seungjoon helps me, right?” —

You looked at Seungjoon, then back at the girl -who for a second you thought was smirking at you along with her friend next to her- then back at him. You were starting to feel pretty uncomfortable, but it was clear that it was even worse for Seungjoon, yet the girl didn’t seem to catch the hint. He opened his mouth to say something, but before he could, the person in charge of this slide and who managed the queue when people reached the top spoke first, his voice loud to make himself heard.

—”The next two, you can go down now!” —

The girl looked like she still wanted to say something, and in the back of your head there were faint orders telling you to say something as well, but you could never. You didn’t know what you could say, or how to do it without sounding like you were overreacting and looking to start a fight. You let out of sigh of relief when the two girls had to go down the slide and so did Seungjoon. This time he wanted to say something to you, but he was interrupted once again before he could even start talking.

—”Okay, next two!” —You gave Seungjoon a small smile to let him know everything was okay and muttered a ‘let’s go’ before going up the last step and positioning yourselves on the two of the two slides. 

He smiled back at you and the both of you looked down before finally laying back and letting yourselves slide down. With your eyes closed, you could hear even better Seungjoon’s loud voice as he screamed from the high speed at which you were sliding down, and you tried your best not to open your mouth to laugh because you didn’t know how close you were to the pool and you were sure you’d get water in your mouth if you did.

It lasted for around six seconds, and it felt so long yet so short. It was a lot of fun and if it wasn’t for the experience of having to wait all over again plus the fact that the girl had made the wait uncomfortable, and the fact that there were many more slides to try, you’d go up on it again.

When you finally resurfaced and wiped the water away from your eyes before opening them, you looked for Seungjoon. He wasn’t in front of you, or next to you, or behind you. You couldn’t even see him in the pool and it was impossible that he already got out of it.

You were about to call his name, when you felt something grab your foot and pull you down and back into the water, with less than a second for you to close your mouth and your eyes again. It quickly let go of you and you put your head out of the water as soon as you could, breathing the air you didn’t manage to take in before you were pulled in.

You heard Seungjoon laughing next to you and you gasped, still recovering from the fright.

—”Seungjoon, I get it, I’m sorry for laughing every time you get scared, but we should stop before one of us gets a hard attack.” —He laughed even harder and you couldn’t help but join him.

—”I hope you mean it and you don’t scare me again!” —He jokingly threatened once he stopped laughing, and then he looked around. Going silent, he pointed towards the edge of the pool closest to the two of you and started swimming towards it. You were a little confused, but you followed him.

The two of you got out from the pool and he grabbed your hand before walking away with quick steps. You saw him look back one more time and so you followed his gaze. It was then that you saw that one classmate of his again, looking around -probably looking for Seungjoon- and her friend as well. 

Once the two of you were far enough from that area, you stopped and stood under the shade of one of the many beach umbrellas around the park. You were still trying to recover your breath from the slide, from Seungjoon trying to scare you to death and from almost running away from the girl that didn’t know the difference of an acquaintance and a friend and especially someone that wasn’t interested in her.

—”I’m sorry about what happened back there.” —You tilted your head slightly, not understanding why he was apologising to you.— “I didn’t know that she…” —He didn’t finish the sentence, and you knew Seungjoon enough to know that he didn’t do it because he felt it would sound cocky if he assumed that the girl liked him even if it was pretty obvious.— “She’s in a few of my classes but we haven’t really talked before? So I wasn’t expecting that, I’m sorry I didn’t tell her no right away.” —

You tightened the hold on his hand that was still holding yours and let out a giggle.

—”You don’t need to be sorry. I was also speechless. And I think even if you had tried to, she wouldn’t have let you talk, seeing how she just couldn’t stay quiet.” —Seungjoon responded that you were right and then looked at the other slides around you. 

In front of the two of you, there was one that was covered contrary to how most of them were open-air, and had quite a few curves. You saw that the people coming out of it would always be two people, sitting on a big yellow floatie that had to spaces on it for both of them to use. 

—”Do you wanna try that one?” —Seungjoon asked, and you nodded excitedly.

—”Yes! It looks fun!” —You took a step forward still holding his hand, but he didn’t move from his spot. You looked at him with curious eyes and he smiled gently before leaning in to peck your lips. You froze for a second, not expecting the sudden affection, but you giggled and didn’t say anything else. Then, the both of you made your way to the next slide.

Both of you were slowly starting to feel a little worn out, as if you had already spent most of your energy in the few hours you had been there. However, the two of you didn’t want to leave yet so you decided to just rest a little bit.

—”Oh! We forgot!” —Seungjoon suddenly exclaimed, and you tilted your head slightly in confusion, asking him what he meant.— “The sunscreen! We said we’d go get it after the first slide, but in the end we forgot.” —You let out a little gasp but then laughed. How could you two be so forgetful?

Well, probably that one girl helped you two get distracted, although it wasn’t completely fair to fully blame it on her, since you were sure your excitement to just have fun also added to it. Seungjoon grasped your hand for  a second and looked around, probably to try and locate himself to know where he had to go to get to the lockers, although it was probably a little too late to apply the sunscreen, so in the end both of you decided not to go get it. You tried to speak up but your voice didn’t come out. You laughed at yourself for a second and licked your lips slightly to wet them. Your mouth was too dry.

—”Ah, I’m a little thirsty.” —You admitted, and Seungjoon looked back at you before saying that he too was feeling his throat a little too dry.

—”I’ll go buy us some drinks, okay?” —You nodded and then he squeezed your hand softly before he let go of it, walking away. 

You watched as he got further and further away, and then walked closer to the edge of the nearest pool, sitting down on the edge and putting your feet in the water. The weather was so hot that even this wasn’t enough, so you got down and into the pool. You rested your forearms on the edge and then your head on top of them. You let out a deep sigh, feeling a little suffocated from the heat.

Looking in the direction Seungjoon had left, you couldn’t even see him anymore. Then, you heard the sound of the water waving (more than it was natural) next to you, and you looked to your right only to see a guy that you couldn’t recognise approaching you. You were pretty sure you had never seen him before. You took a quick look around you again, wondering if he was with someone and he was just swimming by, but when you looked back at him, he was just standing there next to you, a smile painted on his lips before he separated them to speak up.

—”Hey, did your friends leave you alone? How mean of them...” —He asked casually, and you cringed a little, immediately being able to tell what his intentions were.

Still, you started feeling pretty uncomfortable as he took a step closer to you in the pool, the water pushing against you. You swallowed and your throat felt dry again, probably not enough not to be able to talk, but still you couldn’t even bring yourself to say anything for a few seconds longer than you would have wanted to.

—”I- I’m actually here with…” —The guy raised his eyebrows, and you cursed yourself internally for even worrying about referring to Seungjoon as your boyfriend out loud for the first time, even when the two of you had never given that label to yourselves. You cleared your throat and then spoke up as confidently as you could. — “I’m here with my boyfriend.” —

You assumed he’d just give up and leave you alone after that, but he just let out a laugh which quickly seemed to blow away a lot of your courage.

—”Is that so? Then what a good boyfriend he is, leaving you alone like this!” —He exclaimed, the sarcasm obvious in his voice.— ”Why don’t you come with me? Let’s have fun while you wait for him.” —

You took a couple of steps back, which then he’d proceed to take forward so the distance between you two was never really reduced. Taking a deep breath, you spoke up again, raising your voice.

—”No.” —You said, frowning. The stranger seemed a little surprised at the rejection, since you had seemed so shy and almost somewhat scared before. Truth is, you were feeling a little anxious and afraid about not being able to make him go away. You didn’t even wish for Seungjoon to get here because you didn’t want him to have to argue with anyone, especially not because someone was bothering you.

You wanted the guy to leave on his own, you wanted to make him leave yourself.

—”I’m sorry, but no. I’ll keep waiting here for my boyfriend, so you can go back to where you came from and have fun with your friends. Or did they leave you alone? How mean of them.” —You said, throwing his words back at him in the end. Once again, he seemed shocked at your words.

He looked at you, and then to his right as hurried footsteps could be heard approaching. The guy scoffed, quite clearly embarrassed and without saying anything else he quickly went away as fast as he had showed up. Once he was far enough, you let out the deep breath that you didn’t know you were holding in, and then you looked up and to your left. There was Seungjoon, who didn’t make eye contact with you for a few seconds because he was still looking at that guy, his eyebrows furrowed.

When he looked at you, his gaze immediately softened, and he gave you a small smile. You smiled back at him and got out of the pool. Seungjoon asked you which of the two drinks he had bought did you prefer, and after you chose and he handed it to you, he looked back at the pool. You followed his eyes, but you didn’t see that guy anymore.

—”I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have left you alone.” —When he apologised, you looked back at him, a little surprised at his words.

—”What? Don’t be sorry, you did nothing wrong. He’s the one that should apologise for not leaving straight away when I told him I was here with my… my boyfriend.” —This time, it was Seungjoon who seemed a little aback from your words, but the confused expression on his face was quickly replaced by a joyful one.

It was the second time you had referred to him using those words, but it was the first time you did it in front of him. And seeing his reaction, it made you happy too.

—”It’s the first time I’ve heard you call me your boyfriend.” —He said, apparently thinking of the same thing as you. His smile looked a little shy, but also proud at the same time. You let out a shy giggle and didn’t know what to respond, so he spoke up again.— “We’ve been going on a dates for some time now, holding hands every time, kissing too… So there’s something I wish I would have said to you before, back when we went to the aquarium on our first date.” —

You felt your cheeks heat up, probably imitating the blush adorning Seungjoon’s cheeks lightly. You knew what he wanted to say, so it wasn’t as unexpected as your fidgety heart was making it seem.

—”I like you, I’ve liked you for a long time now… And I want to be able to tell everyone that we are together.” —

You looked down at his free hand and held it with yours before looking back up at him and smiling shily, your eyes crinkling a little and lips slightly pursed from trying not to let your smile look too excited after hearing those words coming from him, to finally hear with his voice that you two felt the same way even if you already knew every time your hands linked with each other’s, every time he embraced you and you could feel your hearts beating in unison, every time his soft lips met yours and you felt yourself melting under his touch.

—”I like you too.” —You said, and he took one step closer to you.— “And from now on, we can let everyone now.” —Seungjoon nodded and the two of you laughed softly for no reason other than feeling so happy that you felt like you had to get at least some of the feeling out of your chest.

Still holding hands, the two of you walked around to find some seats to relax and drink what he had bought. While you did that, Seungjoon broke the silence.

—”When I went back to the lockers to get my wallet, I checked my phone and saw a message from Joochan.” —You looked at him as he talked, letting him know you were listening before he continued.— “He said Kee’s coming home now and will sleep over at the dorm, so I should find somewhere else to sleep.” —

You laughed at the nostalgia that the message brought back. If you closed your eyes, you could still remember vividly when your roommate did the same thing to you the day her and Seungjoon’s roommate finally started officially dating after around a month during which most people thought they together already. That day, you slept over at Seungjoon’s dorm for the first time and even if nothing happened, it felt special. After all, it was after that day that the two of you started becoming closer and closer.

—”You can come over.” —Seungjoon raised his eyebrows as he look at you.— “To my dorm.” —You continued, and then he smiled. He probably was remembering the same thing.

The two of you shared a short laugh again at the memory.

—”Thank you.” —He said, and you shook your head to tell him he didn’t need to.— “And from now on, you can also come over to my dorm whenever you want, so that we aren’t always the one being kicked out of our dorms!” —

“Good morning! Do you have any plans for today? If not… Wanna go somewhere together?” The text read, and you took a deep breath that you held in as you processed it. Was he asking you out? Just the two of you? Could you say it was… a date? Your heart started beating faster and faster as you typed a reply, and you wanted to quickly find Kee and tell her about it, but before that you quickly looked through your other notifications; the one right after Seungjoon’s text being a reminder you had set for yourself to check if your cactus -that Kee and you would often jokingly refer to as ‘your child’- needed to be watered.

You walked out of your room and saw that the door to Kee’s bedroom was open. Taking a quick peek inside, you saw she wasn’t there. As you made your way to the living room to check on your little plant, you passed by the closed door of the bathroom, from which you could hear the sound of the shower running. Now that you knew where she was, you decided to make time to wait for her while watering your plant. With a smile on your face that didn’t do justice to the joy that you truly felt inside, you walked into the living room but froze in your spot when you looked at your plant.

Deep inside, you knew the truth, but still you slowly got closer and checked what had happened, thinking maybe it was just your imagination, that you saw something that wasn’t actually there, or that something was wrong but it wasn’t anything too bad. But none of those were actually the case. Just at that moment, you heard the door to the bathroom open and soon Kee walked into the room, drying her hair with a towel.

—”Good morning!” —She said, but quickly became concerned when noticing your saddened expression and before she could ask what was wrong, she looked at the plant the two of you had done your best to take care of and that was… To put it simply but not very aggressively, in no need to be watered today or ever again.

The two of you made eye contact again, this time the sadness in her eyes mimicking yours as you sat on the couch and let out a long sigh. She took a seat right next to you and she rested her head that had the towel wrapped around her hair on your shoulder.

—”We tried, I guess…” —You whispered, and you felt Kee nod.

—”Next time, we’ll do better! We won’t make the same mistake and we’ll take care of the plant better.” —She said, trying to see some kind of positivity in the situation, this time by taking this as another experience you two could learn for the next time you decided to buy a little plant friend. But you sighed again.

—”I don’t even know what we did wrong, how are we going to make sure we won’t do it again?” —

—”We’ll be more careful, and it won’t happen.” —She kept trying to assure you, and you ended up just nodding in agreement. To be honest, you didn’t really feel like buying another plant any time soon, but you’d learn the lesson for whenever you decided to do it.

Just then, your phone vibrated in your hand with a new notification and you looked down to see what it was, Kee doing the same thing out of curiosity. Seeing it was a text from Seungjoon, Kee squealed and took a more comfortable position on the couch, asking you to open the text. Deciding to think about how nicely your day had started with Seungjoon’s previous text instead of the little bad news you just faced, you smiled and tapped on the notification to open your chat with Seungjoon. While letting her read the first message he had sent, you just read the last one. She squealed again and grabbing your arm, she softly shook you a little with excitement.

“Great! Let me know when you’re ready and I’ll go pick you up hehe” You could almost see his smiling face just from the little smiley emoji he had added after the message, which made you smile too.

—”You two are going on a date!?” — You giggled shily, which made you even more embarrassed because you were aware of just how much you sounded like a lovesick girl and not like the composed adult you were supposed to become one day, but you just decided to enjoy the good feeling and not think about that at least for the time being.

—”Yeah.” —Kee clapped her hands a few times, still full of excitement before she got up from the couch and grabbed your free hand, pulling you up as well and dragging you back to your room.

—”I can help you choose what to wear!” —She offered, and you felt good about seeing her being so genuinely happy for you. Just like you had been with her when she announced that her and Joochan had officially started dating the morning after you had to sleep over at Seungjoon’s dorm.

Still smiling but not yet feeling the pain on the corners of your mouth from doing it too much, you opened your closed and looked for some of your favorite clothes, taking them out and carefully placing them on top of the bed. Kee looked at them and sometimes made comments on some of your clothes that you took out that she especially liked. Then you took out one shirt you had bought recently because you found the summer colors of it very nice and the shirt itself very cute overall.

—”You haven’t worn this one yet, right?” —Kee asked, pointing to your new shirt, and you nodded.— “Why don’t you wear it today?” —You looked at her, then back at the shirt and then nodded, picking back the other shirts you had taken out and putting them back in their place.

Faster than you had anticipated, you were done selecting what you wanted to wear and grabbed everything you needed to take a shower and get ready before texting Seungjoon to let him know. Shortly after sending it, the application showed that he had read your message and he answered that he was ready too and so he would go out and pick you up at your door.

The walk from his dorm to yours was, obviously, less than a minute, probably even less than half a minute, yet it still felt like an eternity of suffering from the anticipation, from wondering if he would compliment you when he saw you, from the worries of how it would go, if mayhaps you were getting ahead of yourself by considering this a date instead of something purely platonic. Before you could find more things to panic about and more reasons to do so, the doorbell rang and you waited a few seconds even though you had been standing near the door before opening up, all to try and pretend that you hadn’t been impatiently waiting for that moment.

You two shared a big and yet somewhat timid smile when you made eye contact, and Seungjoon took a quick look at you before making your heart flutter with the sweet words you should be used to from someone as kind as him.

—”You look really pretty.” —You threw the compliment back at him since he also looked really nice himself, but that was the usual with him, at least in your eyes. Before you two could leave, you told Kee goodbye and she told the two of you to have fun with clear excitement in her voice before you closed the door and walked out of the building with Seungjoon. You kept trying not to look overly excited, but then there was your roommate being quite obvious with that feeling. It made you think that perhaps it wasn’t as bad to let Seungjoon see that you were actually really happy that he had asked you out, so you turned to him and asked if he had any plans for the day.

—”So? Do you have any plans of where to go?” —Seungjoon hummed as he thought about it, but from his answer you suspected that maybe he hadn’t just come up with the idea and instead had decided on it beforehand.

—”What about going to the aquarium? I’ve actually never been to the one in this city.” —

—”Me neither! Usually I was too busy with uni to even have a chance to go.” —He felt the same way and you two shared your feelings of both being stressed from having so much to do for class but so little time for it, and kept talking about how now that finals had just ended your minds were still getting used to the abundance of free time and sometimes even instinctively told yourselves that ‘you should be studying’ when actually, you didn’t anymore.  After laughing about it, you admitted; — “I’m excited.” —

Seungjoon smiled at you and then you felt his hand softly brush yours as you walked beside each other. You didn’t look down but instead kept the eye contact, your gaze showing your surprise as he interpreted the fact that you didn’t pull your hand away as a green light to first grasp your hand in his before lacing his fingers with yours. It was the first time you two had held hands, yet it felt so comfortable, and… so natural. And at the same time, so dreamy, that you couldn’t stop yourself from wishing with no words that this wouldn’t be a one-time thing and already looking forward to the next time you two could do something like this again and you could hold his hand.

Neither of you said anything about why you were doing that, about why you weren’t pulling away, about the unspoken giddy feeling bubbling inside both of your hearts. Instead, you kept casually talking about whatever topic that came to mind, like Seungjoon’s first experience at a cat café that he was reminded of and shared when the two of you walked past one. You said you had never been to one, to which he suggested that you should go if you ever had the chance.

—”Maybe one day we could go together.” —You gathered your courage to say, and Seungjoon excitedly agreed and said he was already looking forward to it.

The aquarium was a little far from where the two of you were staying, so he checked to make sure of which bus you’d have to take to get there and coincidentally enough turned the corner to the street where the closest bus stop was to see the one you needed stopping at it. There was only one person getting on so, afraid of the driver leaving the two of you behind, Seungjoon tightened the grip on your hand slightly and the two of you ran to get on before it could close the doors and drive away.

—”We’re here!” —Seungjoon exclaimed and you laughed at his excitement, at the same internally laughing at yourself for ever thinking of trying to look composed and not too excited when Seungjoon was opening his heart to you and showing that he was happy to be there with you.

You looked down at your hands still linked together. You had to let go to pay for the bus ticket, but he had quickly and casually reached for your hand again as soon as you two had put your wallets back to where you had them before. Once he started walking towards the counter next to the entrance to buy your tickets you looked back up. When you paid for them, Seungjoon grabbed them and you grabbed one of the fliers with information about what they had, some schedules of certain acts as well as a map of the place that looked kind of confusing but once you walked inside the building, you saw they also had indications to get to different spots there so that should probably be enough to guide you.

Seungjoon’s little gasp made you follow his gaze and your eyes landed on the glass walls behind which many colorful fish of different sizes swimmed around. You two walked closer to the crystal and looked up to the fish swimming nearer the top of the tank, and then down to see a manta ray resting on the surface of the sand. When you turned your head to look at Seungjoon, you found that he was already looking at you and couldn’t help but wonder if he thought you looked as beautiful as you thought he did right then, with the dim blue-ish lights of the room shining on him and his gentle smile making the atmosphere feel just so right.

Neither of you said anything and just let out a short chuckle before he turned his head again to read some of the indications on the walls, focusing on the one that had an arrow pointing to the door closest to the two of you along with a small white silhouette of a penguin. He looked back at you and asked if you wanted to go there, to which you nodded.

You had so much fun, you didn’t even know if you would remember the details of everything to tell Kee about them later, as she made you promise she would after receiving a text from her while you and Seungjoon were eating lunch at the restaurant right next to the aquarium but that was part of it. He had asked you what you were laughing at as you tried not to giggle at all the texts she kept sending, one after the other, saying how she hoped the date was going well, that you two were having fun and holding hands a lot to compensate all the time you hadn’t done that before. As much as you tried not to laugh, the smile was showing on your face. If you had told her that you two did indeed hold hands pretty much most of the time, you didn’t think you could take the amount of excited messages you would receive, you settled for a short reply telling her you’d text her later, and that was when she asked you to promise that you’d tell her how it went once you got home.

You didn’t tell Seungjoon what the messages said but told him it was just Kee sending you quite a lot of messages, and he laughed, mentioning how Joochan hadn’t even read his text where he told him that he was going to go on a date with you so that he didn’t wonder where he was when he got home from visiting his parents. You almost missed the last part of what he said after hearing him refer to this as a date. Just when you thought the day was already good enough getting asked out by Seungjoon, it got better, now you could be sure that you were completely right to think of this as something more special than just a hangout between two good friends.

When he asked if he could try the food you had ordered, it reminded you of the day he had picked you up after your last exam with drinks from your favorite coffee shop and you had tried each other’s drinks. You said yes and waited for him to take a bite of it, but instead of doing that, he playfully leaned forward a little, resting his elbow on the edge of the table and then his chin on his hand, opening his mouth a little but closing his eyes.

You were glad he closed his eyes and couldn’t see the way your face got all red, which you guessed had happened in less than a second judging from how suddenly you could feel the heat rising to your face. However, he didn’t have his eyes closed long enough not to notice, opening them once you took a piece of your food with your chopsticks and carefully placed it in his mouth. Although you could see his small smirk, he didn’t say anything about your blushing face and started chewing once you pulled your chopsticks away and back on your plate and you heard him hum excitedly at the taste. He then asked if you wanted to try his, which you did, yet you felt too embarrassed thinking of doing the same thing he had done. You grabbed your chopsticks but before you could do anything with it, Seungjoon got some food with his and slowly extended them a little closer to your face. You pressed your lips together tightly for a second and before finally letting out a shy giggle, opening your mouth and taking the bite of his food.

He laughed at your reaction, and a little more when you whispered how cheesy he was.

—”Do you hate it?” —He asked, but from the way he said it, it was clear he already knew the answer was a no. So you didn’t say anything and just laughed again, shaking your head a little before going back to eating your food, looking forward to what the rest of the day would bring.

Luckily for your heart, nothing much happened afterwards. You two kept walking around the aquarium hand in hand, visiting quite a few rooms more than once and laughing every time you’d pass by the room with the sharks while talking and, Seungjoon, way too distracted with what he was saying, would fail to remember that a few steps into the room a realistic-looking video would be projected on the wall in front of the two of you and showed a shark crashing onto the fake glass wall as if to break it and attack the person in front, with the sound of the crystal shattering playing with the video too. He’d let out a scream and get startled every single time no matter how many times he had sworn not to fall for it again before. The first time you had been quite startled too, but at this point it was just funny and if it wasn’t by the faces he made and his high pitched scream you’d think he was doing it in purpose. Your stomach hurt from laughing so much and Seungjoon whined, embarrassed and asking you not to laugh at him anymore. You apologised even though you knew he didn’t really mind that you laughed but still took a few more seconds to fully calm down.

Your phone vibrated and when you took it out of your pocket with your free hand to check what the new notification was, you realised it was once again the reminder to check if your plant needed water. You had set it so that you would have to tap the notification and confirm you had checked just so that you wouldn’t forget about it later, except that because of what you had seen when you went to check that morning, you had completely neglected the reminder.

Seeing it immediately brought your mood down, and you hated it for affecting you enough to so abruptly ruin your happiness after a great date with the person you had liked so much for who knows how long. Seungjoon seemed to notice the sudden shift in your expression, but didn’t say anything because you spoke before he could.

—”It’s so late already… Maybe we should go home?” —He stood silent a few seconds before nodding and walking with you towards the exit of the building. You were aware of how your sudden behaviour was bringing down Seungjoon’s joy too. You felt bad and tried to just act normally, but Seungjoon didn’t take it.— “I’m glad we got to see everything, it was a lot of fun.” —

—”Are you okay?” —He just asked and stopped walking to look at you properly. Your eyes met his and you instinctively looked away before responding, too embarrassing to even admit the nature of your sadness. Because he could perfectly think it was dumb and childish, and you wouldn’t blame him for it. But still, you couldn’t stop it from affecting you.

You remembered how excited you had been the day Kee got home holding a little pot with the small cactus in her hands, although also a little surprised that she bought it considering the two of you had said you didn’t really feel like taking care of a plant ever again after the last one you had. Of course, it was nothing like a person, or even like a pet, but still, it was a living being and you couldn’t help but feel terrible at how you weren’t able to take proper care of it and therefore caused it to wither.

You shily admitted to Seungjoon what the problem was, your voice almost a whisper, and told him that the reminder on your phone had definitely met its purpose and made you remember the whole thing. At the silence, you forced out a short laugh and tried to lighten up the atmosphere, instead just sounding like you were trying to convince yourself of your words instead of him.

—”I know it’s nothing, I’ll be over it in no time, it’s just a plant after all…” —

Seungjoon started walking again, this time to one of the resting rooms in the aquarium where people could sit on any of the couches and just look at the fish behind the glass walls and over the crystal ceiling while taking a little break. He sat the two of you down on one of the couches and then reached towards your free hand with his so he could grasp both your hands in his.

—”You don’t need to say it’s nothing.” —He finally responded, his thumbs slowly caressing the back of your hands. Still not able to meet his gentle eyes thinking you would end up tearing up if you did, you looked down at your lap and your hands, taking a deep breath.— “I’m sure you did your best, so I hope you don’t think that it was your fault that it withered.” —You nodded. It would probably take you a little to fully accept that, but you were thankful to him for saying it.— “You know what? Recently, I heard that apparently plants like it when they hear people talking.” —

You finally looked up and gave him a little smile that didn’t manage to fully hide that you were still a bit sad, even so you felt better since he listened to you and instead of thinking it was a childish thing to be so sad about, he was trying to cheer you up.

—”Where did you hear that?” —You asked, and Seungjoon chuckled when he remembered the answer.

—”Actually, I don’t know if you remember my friend Changyoon, but I caught him talking to his plants once.” —You laughed a little and so did Seungjoon.— “He got super embarrassed when he saw I was there and kept saying that plants like it when you talk to them, and I thought it was really funny, but maybe it’s true.” —

—”Maybe I will have to try it.” —You joked, although you would maybe actually try it the next time you felt ready to get a new plant. Seungjoon agreed to your idea before suggesting another one himself.

—”Actually, I was thinking of buying a plant for my room at my dorm. When I do, I will tell it about today!” —You laughed again thinking he was saying it more as a joke than seriously and you got almost a little embarrassed from feeling touched by what he said. You were still afraid of tearing up in front of him but you looked up and finally made eye contact with him, who smiled at you as sweetly as he usually would and whose eyes cutely crinkled slightly from his smile pushing his cheeks up.

—”Thank you for today.” —You admitted, and paused for a second before continuing.— “This really cheered me up. I had a lot of fun, and I hope we can do it again sometime.” —You looked around the room that was completely empty except for Seungjoon, you, and the colorful fish that swam around the two of you behind the glass. Everything started to feel more peaceful again, and you really owed it all to Seungjoon.— “If it hadn’t been for you, I would have probably spent most of my day sulking in my-” —

You thought he would ask why you didn’t go to your any of your other friends’ dorm, so you decided to answer the question before it was even thrown. However, he quickly interrupted you understanding of your decision.

—”Yeah, and it’s also really late so you shouldn’t be walking around at this time!” —He said, kind of sounding like he was lecturing you about how dangerous it is for to walk alone at this time of the night, when the streets were way too empty for anyone to trust that they were actually alone. You agreed with him and nodded. You wanted to let out a sigh of relief seeing how easily he understood where you stood, but you just smiled thinking of the fact that actually, that’s how caring Seungjoon usually was.

And after all, even if you two weren’t the closest of friends, he was still your friend so what was so different staying with him compared to staying with any of the other people you got along well with?

As he offered you a soft smile and asked if you had eaten or needed something, you were overly conscious of the way your heart beat inside your chest, the force of it possibly being almost scary if it wasn’t for the fact that you knew exactly what the reason behind the acceleration was. Seungjoon was your friend, but he was also the reason for your shy smiles when the topic of love was brought up by anyone, the cause of the blush coloring your cheeks as you stared at yourself in a mirror and wondered if he’d think you looked cute in that outfit you particularly liked so much, and the person you had entrusted your heart to without him even knowing. But you weren’t going to tell him that if he hadn’t noticed it himself.

This wasn’t the first time you had been over to his dorm, basically because your roommates were (not officially yet) dating, you lived on the same dorm building, and had more friends in common that had gathered the group at Seungjoon’s dorm for quite a few evenings of watching great movies or movies that are so bad that they are great. Or on other occasions just to play videogames and for everyone to take advantage of the fact that he and Joochan had a pair of game consoles with a good variety of games that they probably didn’t even get to make the most out of because the life of a college student didn’t give enough leisure time. 

But it was the first time you were there alone, just you and him, without the sounds of your friend’s laughter filling the room but instead a faint echo of a series that he seemed to have been watching in his room before you showed up and the pounding of your heart almost resonating in your head. You remembered him saying that he had already done his last final of the year so now he could fully enjoy his summer break, while you still had one more to go as well as you also had a very considerate roommate that suddenly pretty much asked you to find somewhere to sleep that night because she wanted to sleep with her soon-to-be-boyfriend. 

Seungjoon seemed to be having similar thoughts to yours and started talking as he made his way to his bedroom, you following behind him somewhat shily although you guessed that since he was talking to you, it would be a little awkward to just stay near the entrance while he walked away. Still, you decided to stop at the door of his bedroom and not walk in, as if waiting for permission.

—”Did she suddenly tell you to get out?” —He asked, and you nodded. When you started living with Kee, you two had connected with each other almost instantly. It was an incredible feeling and you felt that the previous years of trying so hard to survive coexisting with roommates you didn’t like at all but couldn’t bare to even complain about had finally paid off and fate had compensated you with not just a good roommate but also the person who would soon become your best friend as you shared more and more time with each other. However, just because of how nice she was, the way she had announced that Joochan was going to come over to stay the night and had asked if you could maybe sleep over at someone else’s dorm (concretely, Seungjoon’s dorm was her suggestion, and as much as it had embarrassed you when she brought the possibility up, there you were) had come as a surprise to you and apparently Seungjoon too. But you weren’t going to complain; Kee was nice and clearly in love with Joochan so deep inside you were actually happy for her. —”That’s a little mean, but it was about time those two got together for real” —He said, and you couldn’t agree more. 

—”I mean, they could have done me the favor of deciding to spend the night together a little bit earlier than past midnight, but well… Yeah.” —You almost whispered, but knew he heard you from the way he nodded at your words and let out a short breath from his nose as if trying not to laugh at the slight salt in your words. Straightening his back again and looking back at you, he finally let out a chuckle and gestured at you with his hand to come in.

—”You can come in!” —You took a few steps towards him.— “You can sleep here if you want and I can sleep in Joochan‘s room.” —You were hearing him more than actually listening to him as you curiously took a look at the decoration in his room that you hadn’t had a chance to see ever before. At your lack of reply, he leaned to the side a little to get into your field of view and smiled playfully at you.— “Do you like it?” —He asked with a bit of enthusiasm and you giggled before saying that you did, and then you quickly remembered what he had said before the question and that you had ignored a little bit without realising.

—”Oh, it’s okay! I can sleep on the couch!” —Your quick words almost mixed together, but still you managed to get them all out, and Seungjoon refused to give in to your suggestion.

—”No!” —He exclaimed before he jokingly added a —”You need to rest well these days to get energies for your last final and that couch isn’t gonna give you that.” —

You couldn’t hold in another short laugh at his words, both because of the dramatism of it and maybe slightly out of nervousness yet anticipation for your last final. After it, you would finally be free to enjoy your summer break just like he had been doing already before you came here and interrupted the peaceful night alone he was probably having.

—”Thank you.” —You said softly, and he smiled at you before whispered that there was no need for that.

You finally let your backpack slip from your your shoulders, down your arms, to your hands and once you grabbed it, to the floor beside Seungjoon’s desk and next to his own backpack.

Contrary to how the dreams in your head could have gone, nothing much happened after that. You two talked for a little bit while drinking a glass of water and then softly whispered a good night to the other as each of you closed the door of the bedroom you were going to sleep in. Once the door clicked shut, you leaned your back on it and took a deep breath. Of course nothing was going to happen, but why were you still so shaken over sleeping at not just your crush’s dorm but his room? You scolded yourself in your mind for the childish thoughts you couldn’t stop of maybe something romantic happening between the two of you, but then quickly proceeded to just as childishly blame Seungjoon for the feelings you had and the way his voice alone could show just how caring he was towards you and everyone, making it seemingly inevitable to fall for him.

You laid on his bed and tried not to laugh too loudly at your own thought of how even the bed sheets were as warm and soft as Seungjoon himself. Despite the initial nervousness, suddenly you felt really relaxed and cozy as the faint sweet scent of the vanilla and orange flower perfume he seemed to use regularly carefully kissed you good night as you drifted off to a peaceful sleep.

A week passed since that, so simply and casually that it both felt like it had never happened and it had been an illusion, or like you had done it so many times that the experience came and left naturally, with no need to stop to think about it much after it. And you weren’t really bothered by it, after all, it was nothing special and it was never supposed to be. Also, your time was probably way too occupied with worries for your final exam and trying to study as much as you could to prepare for it, as well as daydreaming about what you would do when it was finally over.

Finally the day had come and the exam was over. It was the last day of this year of college and the first day of your summer break that you had good feelings too thanks to the plans not only you but your other friends had made all together. When you walked out of the room where you had taken the exam, Kee was waiting for you, sitting on an empty table in the wide corridor scrolling on her phone and then texting someone while you took the steps towards her.

Once she noticed your presence, she looked up from the screen of her phone and smiled after seeing your smiling and now relaxed face.

—”I take it that it went well? Judging from your expression.” —She said, and you nodded before explaining a little what the exam had been like and how you thought you had done quite well. She listened to you patiently and let out a few laughs when you reenacted your feelings and reaction when you read the first question of the exam and had no idea what it was talking about, your hope shaking for a second before you kept reading the following questions and saw you did know everything at least somewhat decently except for that first question. Once you felt like you had finished letting out the bits of stress remaining in you, you told her you didn’t really want to talk more about exams at least until you got back your grades and she nodded, coincidentally changing the topic when you just exited the building and she wanted to ask you to wait there with her for someone.

—”Who are we waiting for?” —You asked curiously, looking around but not seeing anyone at first glance. Kee had a slight smirk on her face which made you giggle.— “Is it Joochan or what?” —Quickly her expression changed and she protested shily.

—”No it’s not!”  —Even when the two had started dating, she seemed to still be moving on from the phase of not being able to admit her feelings too loudly in case anyone -or Joochan himself- heard. You decided not to tease her any further. —”It’s Seungjoon!” —

—”Oh, okay- Wait, Seungjoon?” —She nodded and you noticed her looking somewhere behind you before she started waving her hand and obviously it wasn’t at you. Trying to stop the sudden heat from rising to your cheeks, you turned around and saw Seungjoon walking towards the two of you, a smile on his face and waving back with one hand while the other carried a small bag with what you quickly recognised to be your favorite coffee shop’s logo and name.

Once he was closer he greeted the two of you brightly and then asked you how your exam had gone. You didn’t want to repeat the whole explanation that you had given Kee so you tried to keep it short and just let him know that it had gone well and you could finally feel relieved from all the studying and working on projects. He chuckled and jokingly welcomed you to the temporary “freedom” before finally lifting the bag you were starting to get more and more curious about. He took one drink out and looked at it for a second before handing it to Kee and then took another one out and gave it to you. 

You looked at it and knew that it was your favorite milkshake. It wasn’t really a surprise that Seungjoon would have known that information since you used to get the same milkshake every single time you had been there with him and some other friends of yours, but you were a little too happy that he remembered it and had done this for you right after your last final. Something on the back of your mind considered the possibility that it could have actually been Kee telling him to order that specific drink and flavor for you, but you’d rather think it was his own idea. You thanked him for the drink and after grabbing the remaining drink inside the bag that was for himself, the three of you started walking. You weren’t sure of where to, but guessed that it would be back to your dorms.

While you were walking and talking, jumping from topic to topic, you looked at Kee and concretely at the half-empty drink in her hand, apparently a cold one judging from the small droplets of water on the outside of the plastic that usually came from the colder layer of water starting to warm up and liquify.

—”What flavor is it?” —You asked, and Kee licked her lips after taking another sip before answering.

—”I don’t know the name of the drink because I just told Seungjoon to order this week’s special.” —She took another sip before continuing.— “But it tastes like iced melon tea. Wanna try it?” —She offered, extending her hand that held the drink a little towards you and you nodded before taking a sip from it. You hummed after swallowing and smiled at her.

—”Oh, I like it!” —You said, and then you turned to Seungjoon. Contrary to how natural it had come to you to ask her that same thing (and more or less obviously with the intention of her letting you try it), you suddenly felt flustered at the idea of asking Seungjoon about his, but you knew you had to not only because you told yourself you shouldn’t be shy with your friend despite him being the person you liked as well, but also because you were afraid it’d look like you were leaving him out. It was a little ridiculous, but at least it convinced you to speak up.— “And yours?” —

Seungjoon smiled and looked at his drink before offering it for you to try. You looked up at him for a second expecting him to tell you what it was before trying, but he made a gesture with his head signalling towards the drink which told you he wanted you to actually try it before he’d tell you. You decided to do it and take a smaller sip from his drink. You raised your eyebrows slightly in surprise at the taste and you looked back at him again.

—”This is so good! What is it?” —Seungjoon’s smile seemed to widen a little before he revealed it.

—”It’s red berries iced tea!” —You smiled and looked at the drink one more time. If it had been Kee’s, you would have jokingly asked to exchange it with yours because of how much you had liked it.

—”Maybe I will have to order that the next time I go there.” —You said, and your roommate gasped with fake exaggeration.

—”You ordering something that’s not your favorite milkshake? I won’t believe it until I see it.” —

Both you and Seungjoon laughed, and you thought asking him if he wanted to try your milkshake in return if he had never tried it before. You would have done the same for Kee, but you had been to that coffee shop so many times with her that not only had she already tried it from you before but she had also ordered one for herself in more than one occasion. However, before you could even ask him, he surprised you by asking you first.

—”Can I try yours?” —You gave him a small smile and nodded. After taking a sip, he looked at you and his eyes seemed to have a sparkle in them, perhaps it was just the illumination from the rays of the sun, but that combined with his excited voice as he expressed how much he liked it made him look especially cute and you couldn’t help but let out a wholehearted laugh, his joy making you feel joyful too.

Not having stopped your steps the whole time, you turned your head to look at Kee as you walked and she gave you a slightly teasing smile. You wanted to reprimand her for her expression, feeling a slight of panic over Seungjoon picking up on it. But looking back at him, you saw he was just drinking while typing something on his phone, probably responding to someone’s text. After he stopped and put the phone back in one of his pants’ back pockets, he turned to you and your roommate.

—”Joochan asked if I’m coming back already to play some videogames, so you guys can join too if you want!” —

You glanced back at Kee again as if looking for her approval. You clearly had nothing better to do now that you were done with your finals, and since she didn’t have any plans either, she smiled and nodded, already sounding excited about the little plan.

—”Wah, you sure got excited about seeing Joochan again! Are we gonna be third wheeling in this?” —Seungjoon asked as he made eye contact with you, you chuckled and played along.

—”I will ask Joochan for his violin to play you two a nice song and Seungjoon can hold the candles while you two enjoy the date, I guess.” —The boy laughed at the thought and although Kee clearly wanted to laugh too, she kept protesting with red cheeks that only made you and Seungjoon laugh a little bit harder at her reactions.

When you got to his dorm after stopping at yours first to drop the few things you carried with you, your roommate and Seungjoon’s were already sitting on the couch talking and laughing, so immersed in their own conversation that they didn’t even hear you open the door they hadn’t fully closed because they knew you’d show up less than a minute after them. You said hi to Joochan and after he greeted you back, you looked around. Apparently what you were looking at, or more accurately, who you were looking for, was obvious enough for Joochan to interrupt what he was talking about again to give you the answer you were looking for with your wandering eyes.

—”Seungjoon is in the kitchen.” —A little embarrassed about getting your thoughts read by him despite not really having done your best to hide them, you tried to act like you didn’t the information at all, trying to sound especially uninterested as you replied with an “Okay”, but it met no reaction and no response either so in the end you decided to just leave the two there and walk towards the little kitchen, placed in the same place yours was in your own dorm.

The closer you got to it, the clearer the voice coming from inside sounded, even when he seemed to be almost humming more to himself than outloud. But you could hear it, his voice that softly muttered the lyrics of a song you couldn’t really put a name to as he placed a pair of bags of snacks they had laying around the kitchen on a small tray and four empty glasses. He turned around to grab something else and jumped a little when he saw you at the door, but he quickly started laughing at his own reaction. You laughed too but apologised shily.

—”I’m sorry for not saying anything! I… I heard you singing and you have a really nice voice so I didn’t want to interrupt.” —He seemed surprised at your compliment, which made you wonder if maybe it wasn’t something he didn’t hear a lot. Well, you didn’t even know he could sing or that he even liked it, so maybe it wasn’t something he did often enough to give people a chance to see it and compliment him on it.

—”Thank you...” —He responded, and for the first time you thought he looked kind of shy; voice low and gentle, lips slightly pursed to contain a bigger smile from being drawn on his face and the poor lightning in the kitchen saving him from letting you know if mayhaps there could be at least a faint red on cheeks to confirm it. Just seeing him like that seemed to make you relate to his feeling and you looked away, clearing your throat before asking if you could help him with anything.— “Oh, could you ask Joochan and Kee if they want something to drink?” —

You nodded and quickly walked back the steps you had just taken before and approached the new couple again. They were now talking about something else. Well, more laughing than actually talking, seeing how they seemed to be trying to stop their laughter and regain their breath. You giggled at the sight and then let out a sigh.

—”So, lovebirds, do you want something to drink?” —You asked, and they were still so affected by whatever joke had made them laugh that much that they didn’t even protest against the little nickname. You didn’t even ask anything else when they replied with just water and went back to the kitchen. 

Seungjoon was on his phone, leaning on the counter, and this time you cleared your throat before walking into the kitchen. When he looked at you, you passed on the other two’s message adding that you would also like just water, so Seungjoon took a cold water bottle out of the fridge and asked if you could carry it back to the others while he carried the tray.

Your roommates had finally calmed down and once you were all together, Joochan got up from the couch to turn on the TV and connect one of the consoles to it, later giving a controller to each of you. 

After the game was on and Joochan asked if you and your roommate had ever played that game before (to which Kee said no because she hadn’t played that many videogames before), he pressed start and he pressed the ‘no’ button when the game asked if you wanted instructions before starting. Kee gasped.

—”Hey! You skipped the instructions!” —She said, trying to sound offended but with laughter almost interrupting her sentence, the rest of you laughed too as Joochan quickly joked that he ‘’didn’t do it in purpose’’ and Kee complained that he had done it on purpose so that he’d have more advantage.

“So, (y/n), can you please explain me in full detail the reason you are here tonight and not wherever you used to live before?” Yuchen blowed on the steamy piece of chicken covered in sauce that he holded with his chopsticks, “I know they kicked you out… but why?”

You told him the full story, trying not to miss any detail, and noticed it was really easy talking to him. He would react when necessary, but he would not laugh at everything, only at what he really found funny. His stare was the one of someone who was really interested in what you were saying. Actually, his stare was the one of someone who was interested in you as a person. The thought of that made your ears turn slightly pink, just because you weren’t used to receiving that kind of attention. He also made fun of you because of your accent and the way you pronounced some words, but you liked to make fun of yourself too, so it was fine. It was really enjoyable overall, and when you had finished your meal, you felt both full and fulfilled at the same time. 

You helped him clean up the table and then he looked for some clean blankets for you to use while you washed up and changed into your pajamas. After that, he took a shower while you poured yourself a glass of water in the kitchen. 

    You were drying up the glass and putting it back when Yuchen came out of his room, wearing a full set of Mickey Mouse pajamas and a face clear of make-up. You let out a giggle at the sigh, and he squinted his eyes with annoyance.

    “Don’t you dare laugh at me. This is my house and I wear what I want to.”

    “Yes, sir.” You answered, while laughing quietly.

    “So, do you want to do something before going to bed? We can watch TV or play some games… I… don’t really know what you like to do…” Yuchen scratched the back of his head and looked around, thinking about any other options he could offer you.

    “Actually, I’m pretty tired. I think it’s for the best if I go to bed now and try to get some sleep.” You couldn’t wait to finally lie down and close your eyes, you were exhausted.

    “Oh… Yeah, sure! You must be tired… You had a crazy day after all hahaha.” He seemed to relax a bit, knowing that you weren’t planning on staying awake any longer, “Then… Goodnight. Bang on my door if you need anything… Will you be okay?”

    “Yeah! Thank you Yuchen… This is more than I could ever ask for…”

    “But… are you sure you are really okay?”

    “Yeah.”

    “Sure?”

    “sUrE? I’m fine Yuchen. Goodnight! See you tomorrow! I wake up pretty early, so don’t worry about being too loud or anything.” Saying that, you walked into the basketball room and waved to him before closing the door. 

    You stood there, your back on the closed door, for a few minutes, overthinking everything that had happened during that day and feeling the weight of the uncertainty on your shoulders. You had no idea what would happen from that moment on, but you were grateful, because you knew you were really really lucky. There were people who had to live on the streets for their whole life, but there you were, in the guest room of a famous actor, living a life only the elite class was used to enjoying. 

    You closed your eyes and let your thoughts drift for a moment before making sure the door was locked and throwing yourself on the bed, where the blankets embraced you and made you feel like you were lying on a cloud. You fell asleep almost immediately, and dreamt about a huge house like that, where a nine year old that looked just like you at that age ran through the open doors, playing with a happy dog that resembled the one you had as a kid.

The next morning, you let out a groan when you felt the sun rays hitting your closed eyelids, creating a show of lights and shadows before your eyes. You had slept more than enough, you knew that because your body felt rested and full of energy. However, you didn’t want to leave the bed, it was so comfortable… But you remembered you would have to sleep on it for at least one more day, so you got up happily and put on a new set of clothes before walking out to the living room.

Humming a popular tune that was all the time on the radio around that time, you washed your face before heading to the kitchen area, where Yuchen was already working on preparing a nutritious breakfast. You stood at the door, looking at the bunch of dishes of multiple different colours and aromas, feeling your mouth begin to water. You would usually just drink a cup of tea or coffee and munch on an excessively burnt toast, since you didn’t have much time before having to leave for work. Yuchen noticed you standing there and greeted you.

“(y/n)! You woke up early… I still haven’t finished this… But it’s almost done. Did you sleep well?” As he said that, he looked up from the pan he was using to grill a pancake and looked at you instead. 

“Yes, thank you, it was really comfortable…” You hugged yourself, already missing the softness of the bed sheets and the firmness of the mattress, “I’ve never slept so well… Yu- Yuchen, the pancake!!” Without noticing, Yuchen had tilted the pan he was using, where the golden pancake was slowly but steadily slipping and already hanging halfway out of it. The boy tried to lift it and aimed to throw the pancake to the air and pick it up again with the pan, just like professional chefs usually do. However, he used too much strength and the pancake flew and landed on top of the fridge, before sliding from there to the floor. Dumbfounded, you both looked at it for a moment before you burst out laughing. Yuchen did too, just a second afterwards.

With tears in his eyes, Yuchen tried to recover his breath, “I… I cook well when I’m concentrated… This… This doesn’t really happen…”

“I was starting to think you were secretly a professional chef, looking at the amount of food on the table, but I guess you are not that cool” You couldn’t stop laughing at the scene, and your belly started to ache because of that.

“I am cool! This was just a slip in my successful career as a Michelin-chef, just you wait.”

After a few more pancakes, all of them successful after that, the breakfast was ready, and you sat down on the table and started enjoying it together. You chit chatted for a bit, and then Yuchen decided to turn on the TV so you could watch the morning news report.

You immediately dropped your chopsticks and asked him to turn the volume up when the reporter announced there are important news about the popular virus.

“...an emergency hospital is being built in the province, and people with minor illnesses and injuries are advised to call their primary care doctor instead of driving to the nearest hospital to prevent big groups of people and overcrowding…”

“Wow… Is this for real?” You looked at the woman stating the facts with a mix of disbelief and fear on your face. Then, the word important appeared on the corner of the screen, in bright bold red capital letters, and the woman stuttered before announcing the following:

“From today on, indefinitely, every citizen must stay inside their homes. This affects every area of the country, and every person. We remind you that it’s for the better, and that going outside could be immensely harmful, for you, your dear ones and also the citizens around you. Only supermarkets and first need stores will be open, workers must stay inside and children will have to take online classes. This is a message from the authorities. Please, take care and follow the instructions provided by the World Health Organization when trying to prevent the spread of the virus. Remember to wash your hands…”

You couldn’t believe your eyes. You couldn't believe what you had just heard. The reporter kept talking about the preventive measures, but you couldn’t hear her words anymore. You saw her mouth moving, but your head suddenly felt extremely dizzy and the room started moving in circles in front of you. You looked at Yuchen, who had a look in his face that you imagined was the same one you yourself were wearing. 

“Are… are we not able to leave this place?” You managed to say, looking at your untouched dish of food while doing so.

“Apparently not…” Yuchen gulped and you looked at each other, realising you would have to live together for the time being, until they announced the quarantine to be over.

Having no idea of what’s going on, Yuchen’s dog ran and rested his head on your lap, asking you to give him a bite of your breakfast. You looked at him and flinched before petting his head. 

    Time went by faster than you thought it would, and in the blink of an eye, it was already time for the lunch break. While walking down the stairs to the canteen, you heard a group of men and women in suits speak hectically while moving their hands up and down and signalling furiously at their phones.

    “...they say big companies are already closing up at the other side of the country, and schools and universities are preparing online classes…”

    “...that lady who lived three streets above us and her son moved to that city, she definitely was infected last time she visited him…”

    “...here, look at what this newspaper says! My husband is already panic-buying too much canned food and toilet paper…”

    You didn’t really understand what the fuss was about, so you kept making your way to your friends, who were already sitting at the usual spot, and picked up a tray of food on your way there.

    “Hey guys, what’s going on? Is it just me, or are people behaving a bit weirdly today?”

    Jiyang smiled at you and slid closer to Yifei so that you could sit by his side.

    “Weirdly? What do you mean?” 

    You put your tray on the table and sat down, “I just walked by a group of really fancy people… but they were all over the place, saying weird things about a virus…”

    You felt a cold silence suddenly falling around you, and looked up to meet the eyes of Jiyang, whose smile had disappeared and was now replaced with a weird expression, which matched the one on Yifei’s face.

    “(y/n), are you serious right now? do you not now what’s going on about the virus?” Jiyang blinked repeatedly and took a sip of water before continuing, “it’s all over the news right now… It seems very serious.”

    “Of course she doesn’t know anything! She has her eyes glued to the reports all day long, and yesterday-” Yifei shut up mid-phrase, wondering if you wanted Jiyang to know about what had happened, but you shook your head slightly, letting her know it was better for her not to say anything about that yet, “what I mean is, do you even know what twitter is, (y/n)?”

    “Don’t make fun of me and tell me about it already, Yifei”.

    Yifei opened her mouth to say something, but Jiyang was faster, and told you about the mysterious disease that everyone seemed to be talking about, “Apparently a really infectious virus has developed in an area of China, and professionals have estimated that it will spread throughout the whole country in days, so the Government is going to announce the measures that they’re going to take to try to keep it under control.”

    You looked at him, holding a spoon full of food in front of your mouth but being incapable of moving your arm, or anything else, for the record.

    “You are not being serious.”

    “I am being very serious. It mostly affects people who suffer other type of illnesses or respiratory problems, but anyone can catch it, and it’s dangerously contagious.”

    You looked at Yifei, expecting a reaction that proved that they were pulling a hidden camera prank on you, but her expression was dead serious, and a frown of concern was starting to form on her forehead.

    “Okay… okay, I guess I have to believe this… but come on, guys, we live in the 21st century, a virus is nothing to worry about nowadays.” You played down the situation and resumed eating your meal, which was already starting to cool down, while your friends looked at each other and shrugged. 

    “That’s true, I’m sure all of this will be forgotten in less than a week, but I can’t help but worry a bit. My grandparents are quite old already, I hope the virus doesn’t arrive here…” Yifei clenched her fists and looked at her lap while speaking up, “Anyway, I agree with you, I don’t think we have to make such a big deal out of it.” 

    The three of you continued eating, each one lost in their own mind. You didn’t really think again about that virus, as worried as you were about everything else you had to deal with: finding a new apartment, taking all your baggage to Yuchen’s, finishing the reports you had to hand in at the end of the day…

    The rest of the day went smoothly after that, excluding the general concern that everyone seemed to have because of the news about the virus. After hours of hard work, the clock stroke eighteen, and it was time to go home. Right You thought to yourself I don’t have a place to call home anymore.

    Luckily for you, Yifei had remembered to help you with your bags and boxes, so you picked them up and went to the lobby together. You had to walk slowly and carefully, since the boxes didn’t allow you to see anything in front of you. Because of that, you didn’t notice there was someone standing on your way until you were already on top of him. 

“Oh no!” Yifei left the bag she was holding on the floor and quickly caught you before you could fall on the floor, while the boy you had pushed held your other arm to try to steady himself. Fortunately, you hadn’t dropped any of the boxes, and the three of you were still on your feet. 

“Ugh! I’m sorry Jiyang! Didn’t see you there!” Jiyang looked at you with a smile on his face and dropped your arm, “I have to be more careful… did I hit you? Does it hurt anywhere?”

“Don’t worry (y/n), it’s nothing! Give me the boxes, I’ll help you…” Jiyang tried to lift a few boxes from your arms, but you pulled them away.

“No!! I mean… it’s okay, don’t worry… I’ll just do it myself.”

“Seriously! Where do you have to take them? I can’t believe they make you carry this much… It’s abusive. Let me help you, please.” He tried to hold the boxes once again, but you turned away and looked a Yifei, asking her to help you.

“Jiyang, leave it, the boxes are hers.”

“Wh… what? Why? What’s all of this?”

You let out a sigh and shrugged, before shooting a reassuring smile towards the boy, “It’s a long story, Jiyang, I will explain everything next time, okay?”

Jiyang looked at both of you and was about to ask something else, but in the last moment decided not to. He didn’t want to be too nosy or make you mad, so he decided to leave things as they were. However, when Yifei left the things she was holding on the floor next to you and proceeded to walk alone to the front door, he looked at you with concern and couldn’t resist inquiring about that, “Wait… Don’t you guys leave together? Why is Yifei leaving alone?”

You stuttered a bit, but managed to seem relaxed and calm, “I have something to do before leaving… Go ahead, Jiyang! I will see you tomorrow! Bye!”

Jiyang wasn’t entirely convinced about leaving you behind, but he glanced once more back to you and waved in farewell before leaving the building. Okay, I’m all alone now. Just waiting for Yuchen, right here, by myself. It’s fine. Hah! This is fine. You kept repeating these words like a mantra, again and again It’s fine, it’s fine…

By the time Yuchen finally arrived in the lobby, you had tried every single couch in the room, had studied every single plant and had discussed everything that could go wrong during the weekend with the photos of the different artists under the company, which were hung all over the walls. You were explaining to Wang Yizhou’s portrait that Yuchen’s dog could possibly have a rare illness that could potentially turn you into a mutant monster that ate green plasma and turned people into goblins, when you heard Yuchen’s footsteps coming out from the elevator. That has to be him. He always walks making sure girls know he is coming, so he can be heard from the other side of the building… Ugh, what a smug.

“Hey, (y/n), were you talking to that picture?” Yuchen lifted one eyebrow and smiled to himself.

“Shut up. Desperate times call for desperate measures”

“Well, then… are you ready to leave?” He looked at you from head to toe and then glanced over the pile of baggage surrounding you.

“Y… Yes… Is your chauffeur taking us?”

“My- what?” Yuchen threw his head back laughing, “Oh, (y/n), come on, is that really the type of person you think I am?”

“Yuchen you are literally a famous actor from a big entertainment company, of course that’s what I think you’re like! Don’t tell me you live in a shack and all those photos online are not really your house…”

“Have you been looking at photos of my house online? Woah, (y/n), you are kind of a stalker, don’t you think?” He ran his hand through his hair and gave you a funny look, “But don’t worry, I do live in that ‘huge ass house’ that’s all over the internet.”

“Hey, hey, don’t brag so much. I know you don’t even have a patio.” You punched him slightly on his arm, and put a box in front of the door so that it wouldn’t close while you moved the rest to Yuchen’s car.

“Hey! I do have one. It’s on the rooftop.” Yuchen picked you bag and suitcase up, and started playing tetris with the different objects so that everything would perfectly fit in the back of his car.

“That’s not a patio, that’s not even a terrace!” You let out a giggle and handed him another pair of boxes. Slowly but diligently, both of you managed to put everything in the car together, and eventually you moved to the front, sat down and plugged in your seatbelts, before Yuchen started the car engine.

“Shut up, that IS a terrace!” You rolled your eyes, tired of the discussion, but also amused. 

Finally home, you put your bag and papers aside and made yourself something to eat before throwing yourself on your mattress. You still had to finish a few things before going to sleep, but it was quite early and a couple of minutes of relax wouldn’t hurt anyone. Just when you had started drifting into your mind again, a loud banging noise, made your heart skip a beat and your head lift from your soft pillow.

What is that? you thought to yourself, looking around completely disoriented.

Another loud bang followed the first one, so you go on your feet and walked towards the front door, trying to find the source of the loud impacts. As you got closer to it, the noise grew louder and louder, so you decided to open the door and take a look outside. Before your apartment, a short corridor led to a few other doors and the narrow stairs you had to walk up and down every single day. The corridor was usually empty, but that day a grown up man wearing a pair of overalls and a helmet stood in the middle of it, banging a big hammer against the door of one of the other properties.

“M… Mister,” you realised you had been standing there for a few seconds, staring right at the man without having said anything, so you tried to regain composure and thought the best thing to do next would be to ask him directly what was going on, “I kept hearing a banging noise, and was wondering…” you didn’t know how to ask him, but it didn’t matter anyway, because the moment he heard you, he dropped his hammer and looked at you just as if he was looking at a ghost.

“Young girl! What the hell are you still doing here! Did nobody tell you to leave?”

“What… sorry?” You had no idea what he meant, but you noticed you were the only one who had come out looking for the source of noise. Where you also the only one there apart from the builder?

“This whole floor is going to be demolished! A young rich man has bought the whole building and wants to turn all of this into a single apartment. Didn’t your landlord notify you? Everyone has left in the last week!” The man took his helmet off and run a hand through his greasy hair, worried about you, “Maybe you didn’t understand what was going on, since you look like a foreigner… Hold on, I will tell my boys to stop for today, but we will have to continue tomorrow, so I’m afraid you will have to leave as soon as possible. You can spend the night here, but you will have to be gone by tomorrow morning. You have somewhere else to go, right?” he gave you a concerned look, and looked for his phone so that he could notify the rest of the building team to stop what they were doing.

You looked at him with a blank expression, and went over his words again and again in your head, trying to make sense of the situation. I have to leave? your heart beating faster and faster at the thought, Where could I go… I have no one to call.

Yifei! Your friend would surely host you for a few days, right? You had gotten pretty close since you arrived there. You thanked the man for the information and concern and rushed back into your apartment (no longer yours) to call your friend. You decided to check for a message of your landlord first, and you realised an email of hers from a week before had been directed to your spam folder, so you hadn’t noticed that you had received it. However, you didn’t have much time to complain about it, you knew you had to act fast and focus on finding a place to stay for the following days.

Luckily, your friend picked up her phone pretty quickly.

“Yifei! Oh Yifei, I’m so glad you picked up!” you heard your voice crack and tried to control your agitated breathing, “Something terrible has just happened to me.”

“(Y/N), are you okay? What’s going on?” You could hear a lot of noise in the room your friend was in, but then she walked away, probably into another emptier room, and you could hear her much clearer after that, “where are you right now?”

“I’m at my apartment- well, what used to be my apartment… Yifei, they kicked me out!”

“What?! So suddenly!?” Yifei couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“I got an email a week ago, but I didn’t see it and now I have to leave, and I have nowhere to go, and- What am I going to do, Yifei?”

“Okay, okay, listen, breathe in, breathe out…” You followed her words and tried to calm down, without much effectiveness, “Do you know anyone with a free room?”

“I don’t… But Yifei, can I stay at your place? It would only be for a day or two, until I find somewhere else! There’s no way I find a free room before tomorrow!” A thousand thoughts filled your mind, and you tried to think of any other solution, maybe staying at a hotel or guest house, but that would be way too expensive, and you needed the money to find a new place…

“Oh, (Y/N), I’m so so so sorry… I live with my parents, and my grandparents are also staying here right now… and if we also count my siblings… I am so sorry (Y/N), we really don’t have room for another person… Hey, turn that volume down! I’m trying to help a friend here!” the last words were screamed to someone else on that side of the phone call. You started losing hope, and saw yourself spending the following nights at a 24h store or café. Get yourself together, (Y/N)! There must be someone else…

Yifei kept talking on the phone, “What about Jiyang? I’m sure he wouldn’t mind hosting you for a couple of days! You know he would do anything for you!”

“Oh no, there’s no way I’m asking him… Can you even imagine how awkward that would be?! And I wouldn’t feel good knowing I’m taking advantage of him that way…”

“But who else can we ask then? Wait, I have a friend who lives in a rather big house, she has a son, but if I ask her she may-“

“Yuchen!” You suddenly stood up and screamed his name. Of course! He lived in a really big house, and he wouldn’t say no, since you helped him before and he had promised to help you once too, so that it would be fair.

“Yuchen? Wait… Cao Yuchen?! No no no no, are you crazy? You don’t know him well! How can a woman stay at the house of a stranger like that? He’s famous but that doesn’t mean he is a good man, who knows how he lives behind scenes and-“ Yifei kept ranting and ranting but you had already made a decision.

“Listen, you yourself said he was a nice man, and he owes me, so it’s not like I’m asking for too much! His house is huge, too, he won’t even have to look at me twice, and it’s only for one or two days and only for sleeping… it will be fine! I won’t disturb him.”

“But what if… what if he’s a pervert or something.”

“I’m not a kid, Yifei, I will make sure I can lock the room or whatever... bye now, I’m going to text him.”

“(Y/N) are you sure about this… I-“

You hung up on your friend, reminding yourself to apologise to her the next day and thank her for caring so much about your safety. A part of you also thought that this was a really bad idea and that many things could go wrong, but you were desperate. Furthermore, he joked around a lot, but in the couple of months that you’d been working at the company, you’d also noticed that Yuchen was a really nice guy overall, he even had a pet (the cutest dog) and people who cleaned his house for him, it wasn’t as if you would be trapped in a room all alone with him for weeks…

Reassuring yourself, you opened the chat app and wrote him about the situation. After a few minutes filled with stress and anticipation, your screen lit up, showing a new message from Yuchen:

Cao Yuchen [20:17]: Of course! I can’t believe you have to go through this! We can come tomorrow after work together, so don’t worry anymore about it. Just make sure your shoes are clean ;)

He walked towards you and brought you in for a hug once he was in front of you. His embrace was warm in contrast to the cold air surrounding you, and it took you all your effort not to stop him from pulling away. As he did, he moved his hands down your arms and grasped your hands in his, as if he also didn’t want to pull away completely and get away from the warmth of your touch. At that moment where it was only you and him and the seconds of hugging and holding hands felt like they lasted a mere instant, you truly felt the realisation hit you about how this would be the first time you and Byeongkwan would hang out together by yourselves ever since you had realised your feelings for him.

You didn’t let the nervousness overcome you and thanked the cold weather for making the blush on your cheeks go unnoticed as if it was just the effect of the low temperatures, and somehow your hands didn’t shake in the slightest not even as he let go of one of them but still kept holding the other one as he began walking towards the shops.

—”It’s the first time we hang out and you arrive so early.” —Byeongkwan teased, and you quickly defended yourself.

—”I’m always on time! The only times I’ve ever been late were because I had to wait for Chan.” —Byeongkwan chuckled, still not giving up and this time leaving you with nothing to say for longer than you’d have wanted to.

—”I’m not saying you’re usually late, but we were going to meet at 6.30 and it’s not even 6.15 yet.” —

You didn’t even look at him, but from the corner of your eyes you saw he was looking at you, which ruined slightly the composure you had been keeping. What were you supposed to say? You couldn’t just admit you had been thinking so much about seeing him that you got ready early enough to have to wait almost an hour before leaving your house to meet him, and still arrived earlier than you planned. At the lack of an excuse for yourself, you quickly threw the question back at him.

—”What about you? You’re early too.” —Finally, you made eye contact with him again and he chuckled before looking away and to the front.

—”I just really wanted to see you.” —He said naturally. And perhaps because you were suddenly so focused on the red color adorning your cheeks, for a second you wonder if the reddish hue on his was also caused the same kind of feelings making your heart beat faster.

Since when was Byeongkwan so confident? You asked yourself as he changed the topic and you two got into a new conversation without bringing up the previous one again. It was true that you had never seen how he acted around people he liked so you didn’t want to ponder over the possibility of him liking you back. He was someone very affectionate with his friends and you also weren’t new to this kind of flirty comments since one of your friends, Jun, liked to throw them at you once in a while jokingly and sometimes you’d even talk back. But it was different because it was Byeongkwan. It was different because he was the person you liked. It was so different that, after thinking that it could just be something completely platonic, you started scolding yourself in your head for overreacting even if no one other than you had noticed.

You two had walked into an art shop after deciding to look for a present for Sehyoon there. He liked making art and trying new things with it, so Byeongkwan suggested the idea of buying him an art supply that he still didn’t have.

—”What about watercolors?” —You asked him as you stood together in front of an aisle filled with said art supply. All the different colors were organised so perfectly that you wanted to stand there forever. Until you noticed that someone had switched one of the tubes of green watercolor with a blue one -hopefully not on purpose- and you let go of Byeongkwan’s hand to put both tubes back in their place and as if you had just finished a hard task, you smiled proudly and put your hands on your hips.— “Now it’s perfect.” —

Byeongkwan let out a short laugh and reached towards one of the pink tubes, exchanging it for an orange one, and you gasped before reaching to put both things in their spot. After you were done, he did it again, and at one point it almost became a childish fight between the two of you that stopped when Byeongkwan stopped you from grabbing one of the supplies he had moved by reaching for your hands again and holding it tight, making it clear that he wouldn’t let go. As he laced his fingers with yours, you accepted defeat and let your hand fall back to your side, still holding Byeongkwan’s.

—”Let’s buy one of the full palettes over there and some brushes.” —Byeongkwan said, and you nodded and walked away from that aisle with him. You wanted to laugh at yourself for thinking that sure, seeing all the colors organised was perfect, but the feeling of your hand intertwined wth Byeongkwan’s was even more perfect.

You did as he had suggested and after paying, he carried the small bag and walked out of the shop with you, both of you reaching for each other’s hand again almost instinctively after you had to let go to take out your wallet and pay. Once you were out, you glanced at the bag he was holding with your gift for Sehyoon and then at him.

—”I almost feel kind of bad. Because I couldn’t come up with something for Sehyoon myself.” —

Byeongkwan looked at you with curiosity filling his eyes, clearly showing that he didn’t understand why you would feel bad about it. For you, the reason was pretty obvious. Wouldn’t it feel like a gift from Byeongkwan instead of yours? The only thing you had provided with was the money for it. When you told him that, his view on it didn’t seem to change.

—”So? It is a gift that you bought for him and that you want to give to him. You wanted to give him something and I just helped by giving you an idea. The gift is yours and you’re the one who got it for him.” —He paused for a second, and then continued.— “Besides, I live with him and he’s my best friend. That’s why the idea came so easy to me.” —

You nodded, your thoughts drifting away from the topic again after his words. Sehyoon was his bestfriend, and he was Sehyoon’s. Even though your group of friends was already very close, they were so close you were almost jealous of it and wished to have a friendship as strong and true as theirs. Without even realising, you wondered out loud.

—”What about me?” —You asked, and stopped dead in your tracks after the words came of your mouth and realised what you had said. The question was so ambiguous that Byeongkwan’s gaze was filled with confusion again at your words, but somehow you felt that he probably knew exactly what you meant but just wanted to make sure as he threw another question at you.

—”You?” —

Deciding that it would be even more awkward to fix your mistake with a stupid excuse or ignoring it, you decided to be honest.

—”Am I your best friend too?” —In your mind, once again you scolded yourself, this time feeling selfish for wishing that he wouldn’t say yes. Because you were already close friends, and you didn’t want just that anymore. You didn’t want to be the only person whose heart was suddenly overwhelmed and drowning in those uncontrollable feelings.

—”Of course.” —He said, and you stayed silent, your gaze still locked with his.

Slowly, the accelerated heartbeat went back to its usual pace and you let out the breath you were holding in through your nose.

Time seemed to have stopped until small snowflakes started slowly falling from the sky. Slowly like how you let go of his hand but kept that hand up with the palm facing up to see one of those snowflakes fall on it and just as slowly, disappear.

—”It’s… It’s snowing!” —You exclaimed. The first snow of the year came rather late, and you had mixed feelings after it didn’t meet the expectations you had for how it would feel to experience the first snow with the person you loved.

The snow started falling more rapidly and not really melting anymore when it landed, and as Byeongkwan grabbed your hand again just as a bigger snowflake was about to fall on it, your heart started beating slightly more rapidly too.

—”You look even more beautiful covered in snow.” —His words were spoken softly, to the point where they were kind of muffled by the louder ones coming from kids around you two who were overjoyed by the snow. Still, you heard them.

And although it still wasn’t enough to make sure that he said it in a way that wasn’t completely platonic, you couldn’t help but smile and giggle shily before mustering up the courage to compliment him back.

—”I could say the same about you.” —You responded, and he let out a happy chuckle too. He took a step closer towards you as his hand that wasn’t holding yours went up to cup your cheek. As if he had read your mind before, he spoke again.

—”You’re my best friend, too. But just that isn’t enough anymore.” —

Feeling too shy to keep the eye contact, you looked down, but his hand on your cheek moved to your chin and lifted your head again, forcing you to look at him and making the blush on your cheeks intensify as you saw his face even closer to yours.

Not like he had just read your mind, but more like he held in his heart the same feelings as you did, the two of you spoke up again.

—”I like you.” —

You didn’t even respond to his soft greeting as you closed the front door behind you and you began to make your way to your room. Yangyang just looked at you in silence for a few seconds, but left the controller on the couch and got up to follow you once you disappeared from his line of sight and into your room.

He followed the steps you had taken and stopped in front of your door in silence before knocking. He heard something being dropped to the floor, probably your backpack, and then he heard your chair being pulled back and then moving again.

He knocked on the door twice, although neither of you usually did that, since you two were close after having been roommates for two years and having known each other for three years longer than that. In fact, you two never really had the door of your rooms closed unless in those times when you wanted to study and he had his friends over. You were his best friend, and he hoped he was yours too. Therefore, he didn’t wait for you to say anything before walking in. Actually, judging from your state, you most likely wouldn’t have responded at all.

When he opened the door he saw you sitting at your desk, somewhat slouched back with your phone in your hands, silently moving your thumb to scroll down. He walked in silently and stood in front of you, reaching down to your hand that you weren’t using to hold your phone. You didn’t stop him from grabbing it and finally looked up at him, putting your phone down.

—“Are you okay?” —He asked softly. You rarely looked this… sad. Usually, both of you would smile and joke around even during tough and tiring days, keeping the atmosphere positive. But this was bringing even his mood down.

—“It’s nothing. It’s just nonsense. I’ll be over it in a while.” —Not satisfied with your answer, he pulled on your hand towards him, forcing you to get up from your chair and follow him to the living room again.

He sat back on the couch and you sat next to him, looking at him with curious eyes as he grabbed the controller he had previously abandoned and placed it on your lap before reaching to grab one of the spare ones you guys had to play together and for when your friends came over.

—“Let’s play!” —Yangyang exclaimed, smiling at you. You frowned for a second. You weren’t exactly in the mood to play videogames right now. But as you looked at his smile, you understood what he was trying to do.

He was probably trying to distract you from whatever was troubling you, thinking that if you wanted to be over it, perhaps this way it’d happen sooner and you’d go back to your usual state. Your frown vanished and instead you smiled softly at him. You were glad he knew you well enough, so that even when you tried to act like you wanted to be alone and deal with your problems or thoughts by yourself, he would know you didn’t actually want to be alone and he’d stay next to you.

You let go of his hand and grabbed the controller, turning your head to look at the tv screen where the game was still paused where he left it before.

—“Okay, let’s play!” —You repeated his words.

As soon as you started the game, you tried to keep your thoughts about everything else away so that they wouldn’t distract you, instead replacing it with the fake competitiveness of wanting to win against each other in the game, and laughing every once in a while at mistakes the other did. Sometimes it seemed like Yangyang was playing worse than usual on purpose, but looking at him from the corner of your eyes and seeing his focused expression, you saw he was probably struggling for real. You chuckled at the sight. Of course Yangyang would never let you win on purpose.

When the game was over and you won, you cheered for yourself, while Yangyang threw his head back on the couch and whined about his loss. After laughing for a while both out of the happiness from winning the game and Yangyang’s face of being disappointed on himself, you left the controller next to you and made yourself comfortable on the couch, facing Yangyang.

He looked at you as you did that and then imitated your actions, sitting cross-legged on the couch facing you. Your smile faltered a little but didn’t disappear when you thought about your next words, but you decided to speak your thoughts just as they were in your head.

—“I’m jealous of the people around me.” —Yangyang’s eyes widened slightly in curiosity, not really knowing what you meant. You understood his reaction and kept going, but now you were starting to feel a little embarrassed over talking about this with him. You felt your cheeks redden as you spoke. —“Everyone around me is falling in love, dating, finding someone they want to be with, having someone that looks at them in a special way…” —

—“Are you jealous because you don’t have a boyfriend?” —He asked straightforwardly, and the way he simplified the ‘problem’ made your blush intensify. You wanted to protest, but for a second you couldn’t find your words and just stuttered. He spoke again.— “There’s no hurry to find someone. We’re still young. Isn’t that what you said too?” —

You hated that he had said that, because he was right. You had said that in more than one occasion, yet here you were.  Why couldn’t he just joke around like always and tease you for feeling like that instead of being embarrassingly truthful?

—“It’s not exactly that! I- It doesn’t have to be dating someone! I just want someone to like me in that way!” —The more you spoke, the more embarrassed you felt. You didn’t know why you couldn’t just stop talking, drop the topic and try to go back to something else, like the videogame, acting like nothing happened. Instead, you spoke again.— “I want someone to look at me like people look at the person they like.”  —

Yangyang was smirking as you talked, and as embarrassed as you were already without him teasing you about it, it almost made you feel a little bit better because it took off a little of the seriousness of the situation.

‘I want you to look at me like people look at the person they like’. Without realizing, you spoke those words in your head as you two looked at each other’s eyes.

—“But what if it’s someone who you don’t like back? Wouldn’t that be too awkward?” —He asked, and you froze, not knowing what to say. You couldn’t tell him that it wouldn’t be awkward since he was the person you wanted to like you back, and you did agree on that.

You remembered the time one of Yangyang’s classmates had a crush on him and how painful it had been to watch her keep trying even after he had tried to make clear that he didn’t feel the same way, even going as far as asking you if you and Yangyang were dating and if that was the reason why he rejected her. You almost shivered just from remembering that. You still felt bad for the girl when you thought about it, but she just couldn’t take the hints, not even when they were completely straightforward and Yangyang said he didn’t like her.

—“Mm… I guess…” —You answered in the end. — “Then… Maybe I want to experience liking someone and them liking me back.” —You admitted. Yangyang was serious again, and once more, you hated that. Why couldn’t he give you a reaction? Something that let you at least wonder if he felt anything at all for you. Maybe you were just like that girl.— “I… Want the person I like to look at me the way I look at them.” —

He still didn’t respond, and instead you looked directly into each other’s eyes. You felt your hands start shaking slightly from sudden nervousness. He didn’t say anything, but also didn’t stop looking at you. Each second that went by made you feel even more anxious. And after who knows how many seconds of silence, Yangyang leaned in and, closing his eyes, he pressed his lips on yours and his hands reached to yours. Instinctively, your eyes closed too.

And ironically enough, it wasn’t until you closed your eyes that you finally saw it clearly. The meaning of the way he just looked at you in silence. The feeling behind the way he grasped your hands in his softly but tightly enough as if he didn’t want to let go. The feelings he hid behind the shine in his eyes when you looked at each other. The feelings that were the same as yours.

He slowly pulled away, and now being aware of his feelings, you felt too embarrassed to look him in the eyes again and just looked down at your linked hands with a shy smile. You reprimanded yourself in your head for being so blind despite how much you wanted to see, and couldn’t help but laugh at yourself a little when even Yangyang reproached you about it.