Beautiful Surprise

“Carl was there since the beginning. His name was on my birth certificate, even though he wasn’t my biological father. He’d also been a drug addict. But he quit when I was born, and my mother kept going. She tried her best, but she was in so deep. Always high. Always passed out. When I was six years old she abandoned us for three months. Carl was left to take care of us by himself. And the night my mother finally came back, they got in a real bad fight. And Carl decided to walk out the door. For so long he’d been my only stability, and now he was gone. It was survival mode after that. There were days when we didn’t eat. And before long DHS placed me and my brother into foster care. We lived with a mean older lady that treated me like Cinderella. I couldn’t go outside. I was forced to clean. One night she made me cook a pot of rice for the whole family, and she thought it was too salty. So she made me eat the whole thing. Thankfully Carl went to court and got visitation rights. Every other weekend he’d come pick us up. And I think that saved us. She knew he was watching us, so it kept things from escalating. He promised that as soon as he could afford a place to live, he was going to come get us. And that’s exactly what he did. We moved into a two bedroom house. And for the first time in our lives we had stability. Homework had to be done. Everyone had to eat at the dinner table. We played board games every Friday night. And on weekends we went to every parade in Philadelphia. Carl wasn’t an emotional guy: no hugs, or kisses. But he was there. He got us through. He’s 79 now. And only recently has he started to say ‘I love you.’ He says he doesn’t know how much time he has left. So I want to give him his flowers. He wasn’t a perfect man. I’ve never asked him to explain why he left us behind that night. But it doesn’t matter to me. Because he came back to get us. Even though we weren’t his biological children. He didn’t have to do it, but he came back. My other family members would always tell me: ‘We weren’t going to leave you there forever. We were going to make room. We’d have found a way.’ But they never managed to find a way. And Carl was the one who did.”

— Markus Zusak 

— Nina Malkin 

— George Michael 

— John Steinbeck

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“He hid it from me for four years.  The whole time I believed he was in love with me.  He was always saying: ‘I love you.’  Always: ‘I want to be with you.’  And he seemed to care so much.  He’d always ask about what I read, and what I learned, and what I thought.  We’d talk about our future together.  I was so happy.  The world seemed so beautiful.  Until one night we were eating dinner, and his phone rang.  He glanced at the screen then put it down quickly.  Something felt strange, so I told him to answer it.  But he refused.  And that’s when I knew.  I pressed him for days until he finally admitted everything.  I went through all his emails.  All the things he ever told me, he’d told her too.  Word for word.  Everything had been lies.  They’d even travelled together when he claimed to be on business trips.  My world was broken.  I haven’t dated for years.  So many of my previous understandings have lost their meaning.  I no longer know what ‘loyalty’ is.  Or ‘commitment.’  I can’t even use the word ‘love’ anymore.  I used to say it all the time: ‘I love this,’ or ‘I love doing that.’  Now I just say that I ‘want’ to do something.  Or I use the word ‘happy’ a lot.  Like: ‘I’m happy to be with you.’  But never ‘love.  Because I don’t know what that is anymore.” (Hong Kong)

I’m Not Really Funny I’m Just Mean And People Think I’m Joking T-Shirt

(November 10, 1986)