she who is

“And I’m angry. I’m angry all the time. I’m angry that I hurt all the time but most of all I’m angry that I don’t know how to make that hurt stop.”

“One day he’ll wake up into a nightmare where he realizes he broke the heart of a girl who never would have broke his and she’ll be with someone who will never break hers.”

i look at you and see wedding bells and children’s names. i’m so fucking sorry i see a future in you and you can’t even see tomorrow in me.

At times, I wish we had never met.

we used to fit together like two puzzle pieces. we never could go without each other, weren’t complete without our hands intertwined and our lips connected.

“she was in love with you. and she would have done anything for you if you had given her a chance. just a simple hello or ask of how her day was. one smile. that’s all it took to win her heart. she gave you that hold over her, it was out of her control. she gave you that advantage, and she gave you more than she had ever given anyone before. but what did you do? you turned away. you stained her face with tears drenched in heartbreak. you picked sunflowers from her field of thoughts and left them somewhere to rot. and you chose someone else. you turned her skies dreary, left a storm cloud above her head. each time you proved her wrong she still sought you. because she had so much faith in you, yet you turned the budding of anything back into nothing. and the most tragic part is that despite it all, you still do not know. you do not know how she could love you, even if you did not love her back.”

“You fall in love with all the wrong people. But you already know this. You find someone that seems good enough and that you click with— but in the back of your head it isn’t your ‘soulmate.’ You aren’t planning on it being. But you fall in love with them again and again knowing it’ll never last. Because it terrifies you to think about falling in love with someone that you can see your entire future with—and watching them choose the door over you.”

I wish I had never met you. No, actually, meeting you would’ve been fine. We would’ve been strangers, still. I wish I never talk to you. I wish I hadn’t let my guard down so low when I do, I wish I hadn’t fool myself into thinking the feelings you could’ve feel for me too. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be here lying awake, catching my breath to this never ending nightmare I’m living. I wish I never had fallen in love with you.