Tales of a Blackbird

 “Come! I will lead the way. It shouldn’t be too far! After all, we are just down the street from it.”

The uchigatana was of course hesitant with speech. He would have to take baby steps with this. This is what he’s practice with when speaking to Aruji and the others. Greetings were finished. So that was out of the way. The subject was chosen. Something about themselves. However there was something else on his mind.

     “What is your name?”

“After a great meal, I like to lie on the ground and feel like garbage.”

“Anything can make a good story with enough spin!”

“Aren’t you excited? Aren’t you happy?”

“Beautiful. Why don’t you write a book?”

“Be good, alright?”

“Didn’t you read the sign?”

“Did you hear what they just said?”

“Did you know I love to ‘get owned?’”

“Disgusting. I’d love to try it sometime.”

“Don’t you have anything better to do?”

“Don’t you know how to greet a new pal?”

“Excuse me, do you want to know how to beat me?”

“Finally, someone gets it.”

“Forgive me for this.”

“Golly, you must be so confused.”

“Goodbyes aren’t allowed in my town.”

“Haven’t I done a great job protecting you?”

“Haven’t you ever seen a cooking show before?”

“He flexed himself out of the room!”

“Heheh… The old whoopee cushion in the hand trick. It’s ALWAYS funny.”

“Hey, lighten up, bucko! I’m just joking with you.”

“Hey, that’s my emptiness, not yours.”

“I am just a silly little lady who worries too much!”

“I am only protecting you, do you understand?”

“I can’t afford not to care anymore.”

“I can’t go to hell. I’m all out of vacation days.”

“I could make friends with a wimpy loser like you any day!”

“I don’t like you the way you like me.”

“I don’t need friends! I’ve got KNIVES!”

“If I were you, I would’ve thrown in the towel by now.”

“I found a gun in a dumpster!”

“If you weren’t my houseguest, I’d beat you up right now!”

“I just want to have handsome, bishonen eyes.”

“I knew you had it in you!”

“I’m gonna need some dog treats for this!!!”

“I’m just a dozen away from a double digit follower count!”

“I’m nineteen years old and I’ve already wasted my entire life.”

“I’m not ready for this to end.”

“In this world, it’s kill or be killed.”

“I really should have killed you when I had the chance.”

“Is (the sound a baby makes) an emotion?”

“It’s not wrong. It’s just my headcanon.”

“It’s rude to talk about someone who’s listening.”

“I’ve heard they have things called bathrooms.”

“I want you to be happy, too.”

“I will bathe in a shower of kisses every morning.”

“Never interact with attractive people.”

“Now’s your chance to accept my mercy.”

“Now you’ll see my true power: relying on people who aren’t garbage!”

“Oh no! You’re meeting all my standards!”

“Plants can’t talk, dummy.”

“Quick, behind that conveniently-shaped lamp.”

“Really not feelin’ up to it right now. Sorry.”

“Remember how I said NOT to shoot at me?”

“Revenge won’t bring anybody back.”

“Sorry, can’t talk. I’m busy being popular on-line.”

“So what if a few people have to die?”

“Stop plaguing my life with incidental music!”

“Studying history sure is easy when you’ve lived through so much of it yourself!”

“Thaaaaaat’s politics!”

“That’s the trash can. Feel free to visit it any time.”

“That was fun. Let’s finish the job.”

“The only joke here, is how strong my muscles are.”

“They come. They leave. They die.”

“This is just a friendly, um, killing between acquaintances!”

“Time for our union-regulated break!”

“Too intimidated to fight me, huh?”

“Watching someone on a screen really makes you root for them.”

“Were those two robots making out?”

“What a terrible creature, torturing such a poor, innocent youth…”

“What do you think of my secret style?”

“Where are the knives.”

“Where is this? Where can I see the Anime.”

“Who knew that all I needed to make pals was to give people awful puzzles and then fight them?”

“Who needs arms with legs like these?”

“Why would I ever be friends with you?”

“Will anyone like me as sincerely as you?”

“Would you smooch a ghost?”

“You aren’t gonna tell my parents about this, are you?”

“You can’t spell ‘prepared’ without several letters from my name!”

“You can’t understand how this feels.”

“You didn’t need my help, which is great, ‘cause I love doing absolutely nothing.”

“You do not dislike cinnamon, do you?”

“You just wanted to see me suffer.”

“You think I’m just gonna stand there and take it?”

“You’ll never see ‘em again.”

“You’re filled with determination.”

“You really hate me that much?”

“You’re giving me a real workout.”

   “His name is Nakigitsune! As for a place that provides drinks.. I believe there was a sort of place known as a tavern that serves drinks just at the corner of this pathway of steel sticks!”

          That almost sing-song tone caught him like a deer in headlights, a name that’d been long-discarded almost escaping him. “Capt… – Raven… ! Now there’s a face I didn’t expect to see here…” The knight’s welcoming smile as soft as ever. “But I… suppose I have been rather busy trying to get accommodated with the city… with all these new rules and regulations.” 

“I like ya, Flynn, so I’m gonna give it to ya straight. Have y’ever heard the expression ‘there are people too good for this world’? If I was a bettin’ man, I’d say there’s more than a few who would use that to describe you.” The old man nimbly hopped over the guard grate of the fire escape he was standing on and landed neatly beside the blond, taking a particular amount of care in dusting off and straightening his clothes as he spoke. “Then again, I can think of a lotta other words people’ve used for you in the past, not all a’ which are exactly deserved.”

“…?”

“...yer kiddin’. How’s a handsome kid like you not battin’ a thousand? Ya really gotta get out there, y’know? Yer looks only do half the job. We got a lotta work t’do...”

    “We are more than serious about learning these strange tricks!”

Cue ears twitching. Followed by frantic tail waving.

     ❝Oh, yeah? I’d say let ‘em talk, but that wouldn’t sit too well for your perfect rep around here, would it?❞  an honest jab, and one he put a smirk on for. much to his surprise, raven made a quarter of the group he was familiar with in the city.. did that mean more were arriving soon? the next statement, however.. threw him for a loop, he was running a soup kitchen? what a weird dream.. his smirk settled for a straighter face.

“I’ll say. I still got my standards, after all.” But hold on. What he’d just said didn’t make any sense.

… Oh.

“...never mind all that.”