K♥

It has been forever since ive posted and to be honest, ive missed it quite a bit. To fill you all quickly in, ive been travelling a copious amount and fortunately fallen inlove with a wonderful human being named Jack. This whole blog has been dedicated to my eventful past and I will be creating a new tumblr with all my new life's adventures. I hope you're all happy and healthy. KXO.

For a while there, I kind of lost it. I mean over the past year, I have struggled to get anything remotely beautiful onto a peice of paper (except the continously rehearsed words I'd write on birthday and holiday cards.) The past eight odd months I have developed as you could say, the morals of a man. I never took it past the second date, and I definitely never called them back. Even after the six missed phonecalls. I lost my attraction to sweet romance and indefinitely, love. Although my undeniable attraction to lust stayed. Lust without the human attraction, lust of the one night kind. I once wholeheartedly dedicated my life to loving one particular being and I think I stopped when i realised that after five years of doing so, that last text message of "I'm done" was really, actually it. I didn't mean it, to be honest i never did. How could someone want to end something so wonderful? You don't. We always said it was for the better and dont get me wrong, it definitely was. The pain in my heart surely eventually stopped and i soon figured how much good was going to come out of our lives while we werent in them. But, I did know I was never going to find a Benjamin like my once Benjamin. I always thought love was meant to be passionate, exciting and so body and heart fufilling that with any second a heart attack could come along and without any care, you would die happy. Because you see, there are too many mediocre things in life and love souldnt be one of them. It shouldnt feel anything less than mentioned above. And to be plain and simple, i havent. This isn't some piece of writing exclaiming love is going to be some sort of goal I feel I should achieve as a better person. Or making the ability to love someone be a priority because i simply can't. Or maybe i dont want to, I dont know. But now I definitely know that really, you don't ever stop loving someone, you simply learn to live without them.