Shades

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The noises of chattering college kids made Chad’s knee bounce anxiously. Even in his dorm, he could hear the loud conversations his suitemates were having. Harsh white lights made his head hurt, and the plastic chair he sat in at his desk caused his lower back to ache. He didn’t look like it, but he hated being around new people. He never really had a best friend since, well, not since Wes. Only a handful of circle jerk assholes who only tolerated him for his looks. For a year he’d been on edge, so that’s why when a curly-haired brunet entered the room abruptly, he jumped.

He looked nice enough, but still, Chad was cautious. The brunet jumped as he saw Chad. He was easy on the eyes, nice looking. He held a cardboard box and wore a beat-up Jansport backpack. 

“Hi.” He croaked out, his voice straining. Chad nodded at him, and the brunet awkwardly shuffled closer into the room. He looked at Chad’s bed, then his, and set his box down on it, dust slowly puffing up. “Guess this is my side,” 

Chad swiveled back in his chair, taking a deep breath as he stared at the chipped surface of his wooden desk. He closed his eyes for a moment, inhaled, exhaled, and stood up. He put on his chipper smile, eyes not quite matching. He stuck out his hand to the other boy. “I’m Chad, it’s Ethan right?” 

Ethan let out a breathy laugh of relief and nodded. “Y-Yeah, Ethan.” He responded, taking Chad’s hand in a firm shake. Chad’s eyebrows furrowed as he confusedly reacted to the rough, strong hands Ethan had. And for a split second, he had hope of making a new friend. 

—

It was almost nine, and Chad had finally reached the point of relaxation with Ethan that he stopped checking his phone for texts from Mindy. He learned a little about Ethan; he liked old cheesy movies like Star Wars, he loved ketchup, and he had something in common with Chad. 

Home didn’t have a lot of good memories.

Chad had set his laptop on his desk, which now sat towards the middle of the room after two hours of Ethan and Chad rearranging the furniture. Their beds pointed towards each other, and every so often Chad would check to see if Ethan was watching the movie playing. 

“So do you know anyone that goes here?” Ethan asked before stuffing his mouth with a handful of fries. Chad readjusted in his position, putting his arm under his pillow as he laid on it. 

“My sister Mindy, and our friend Y/N.” He answered, purposely not mentioning. Sam and Tara. “She’s on the third floor.” 

Ethan nodded, returning his gaze back to the movie. “I got a sister too.” He mumbled. Chad lifted his head up at him.

“Really?” 

“Yeah, she’s back at home.” 

Chad hummed softly. “Close with her?” 

Ethan smiled to himself, reconciling childhood memories of playing with his sister. “Yeah, she’s older than me. Really like, protective of me y’know?” 

At this point, neither of the boys were watching the movie. Only quietly admiring each other as they asked each other questions. “That’s how I am with my sister.” Chad stated.And maybe that’s how they’d be with each other. Ethan smiled at his comment, but it quickly faded. 

They sat in silence for a moment, their breathing matching the other’s. Ethan huffed as he sat up on his bed, making Chad slightly sit up. “Where you going?” Chad asked. 

Ethan smiled defensively at him, and then he pointed towards the bathroom door. “Gotta take a leak,” Chad snickered at his answer, checking his phone. Ethan laughed as he jumped off his bed, eyes widening at the sound of a metal object clanking onto the floor. Chad immediately sat up, looking at the source of noise. 

A push-button blade sat on the tiles of the floor. Chad tensed, but he just brushed it off as his anxiety pushing his buttons. Ethan, however, looked incredibly nervous. “It was my dad’s,” Ethan coughed out, bending over to retrieve it. “He gave it to me cause y’know, New York! Crime!” 

Chad laughed nervously, but Ethan didn’t give him time to answer, quickly stepping inside the bathroom. Chad didn’t think too much of it, he never expected Ethan to be the type of guy who could practice self-defense, let alone stab anyone. But you know, maybe he didn’t know the guy. 

—

Chad had truly considered Ethan to be his best friend. Even after one of the Ghostfaces stabbed him with the same blade Ethan had dropped that first night in their dorm, he still felt that way. Ethan was his best friend.

It hurt him more when Tara confirmed his suspicions of Ethan in the hospital after. Nine stab wounds to the chest, internal bleeding in his organs, and the one thing that hurt the most was finding out who Ethan really was. He let Y/N spend the night in his room that night, and even though he knew she probably knew about his feelings for Ethan, he felt safe with her.

She told him she was pregnant, and then she asked him if they'd stay friends. Chad didn't have to think to answer.

It was weird; falling in love with Y/N while still having feelings for Ethan. It was weirder helping her raise her and Ethan's son, but at the end of the day it helped him sleep at night. On Chad's worst nights, when he watched those old cheesy movies Ethan liked, when he wore one of Ethan's shirts, thinking of Y/N and Ollie helped him fall asleep.

After awhile, he'd had enough. He turned his love for Ethan into hate, and maybe that wasn't the healthiest option, but it was the one that felt the most good.

When he burned Ethan's shirt he wore to bed, he told himself never again. Never again would he open up to Ethan.

—

It was late, Ethan was tired and irritated, sitting on the dusty wooden floors of the bookstore. Mary held a mug of coffee in her hands, matching pajamas hugging her skin. Ethan’s hands ran through his messed up curls. 

“I’m sorry, again, I know this has been weird.” Ethan apologized for the umpteenth time. Mary straightened her posture and adjusted her glasses. He’d been there for two days, ignoring the buzzing of the incoming calls from Y/N and Chad. 

“I just didn’t know where else to go.” 

“Did she kick you out?” Mary asked softly, trying her best to hide her smile. “I didn’t get the chance to ask you, since you know,”

Ethan stared blankly at his shoes. 

“You’ve been crying on my couch for the past few days.”

Ethan sniffed as he threw his head back, resting it on the bookshelf behind him. His eyes were teary, and he choked out a sob as he shook his head. “I’m too dangerous to be near her, near my kid.” 

Mary listened quietly.

“I’m scared I’m never gonna change. I’ll always be this, this monster. I hate that I have so much malice in me; everyone I see that has the slightest chance of hurting them, I just wanna hurt them.” Mary leaned forward, elbows resting on her knees as she listened carefully. 

“I think up ways,” He started, voice shaky. “Ways to get rid of people, and ways to hurt them.” 

“What’s wrong with being a monster?” Mary asked, interrupting him. Ethan jerked his head towards her, looking for an ounce of unseriousness; it was not there. There was a lingering feeling in the air, something uneasy. Ethan stared at her as if she was the most unique thing. There was no sign of uncomfortableness shown on her face, not even a twitch at the corner of her lips. 

“I know you were the one who bailed me out.” Ethan stated, ignoring her previous comment. She blinked, trying to fathom what he was saying.

“How did you-”

“I put two and two together.” He interrupted. “When you showed me your shrine, and when you didn’t ask about me being released. It was you, right?” 

She slowly nodded, Ethan following after. 

“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you Ethan.” She admitted. She swallowed nervously as she waited for his response. It was a remark Ethan should’ve felt safe with, but his worry only grew. He knew what he was, what he did, and yet Mary treated it like it was as miniscule as a robbery. Ethan dryly chuckled. 

“I really don’t, Eth.” 

Ethan’s fingers twitched, and his brows furrowed. Only two people were ever allowed to call him that. 

“I think you only wanted justice for your brother. There’s nothing wrong with that. I would’ve done the same thing if I were in your shoes. I think you’re really special.” Mary continued to rant, not having a clue that Ethan was fuming not five feet away from her. 

He stayed silent as she talked, and his hands itched to reach for the push-button blade in his back pocket. He wouldn’t know who his victim would be, him or Mary. 

“Maybe it would’ve been easier if she died, you know?”

“What did you say?”

Silence. Silence took over both of them as Ethan stared, eyes wide at her. His eye twitched as he physically held himself back from leaping over to her and stabbing her. “I just mean- I know you tried to kill her, I saw the photos. Wouldn’t it have been better for you if you didn’t have the burden as well?”

“‘Burden’? You mean my son?” Ethan seethed through gritted teeth. He started seeing red again, just like earlier that night. Red, hot emotions coursed through his veins as he thought about Ollie, as he thought about Y/N, as he thought about Chad. No one else mattered. It was only them for Ethan. He knew he would hurt anyone who hurt them. 

“I didn’t mean that.” 

“I shouldn’t have come here,” Ethan muttered as he stood up. He stumbled a bit as he fully stood up, Mary was quick to stand up alongside him, helping him keep steady. Ethan jerked his arm away from her, stomping away towards the door. He had his hand on the door handle before Mary stopped him. 

“W-Wait, I’m sorry, don’t go.” She pleaded, placing her hand on his wrist. Ethan breathed heavily as he looked down to the contact. He slapped her hand away, barely opening the door before he felt her hands reach for the knife in his back pocket. He didn’t have time to react, before she swung the blade and stabbed herself in her thigh, lightly squealing as she did so. Ethan’s eyes widened at the action.

“What the fuck?” He yelled at her. Blood seeped through her pajama pants as the knife stayed plunged in her leg. She lightly smiled as she stared, feeling her adrenaline rushing through her. 

“If you leave, I’ll tell them you did this.” She threatened. The probability of them believing her over Ethan, knowing what he’s done, was more likely. Just because of that, Ethan had no care of what he would do in that exact moment. He lunged towards her, tackling her to the floor, causing her to grunt in pain. She kicked and thrashed as Ethan pinned her down, yanking the knife out of her thigh. She screamed in pain, not realizing the extent of what Ethan would take. 

A surge of emotions, familiar and unfamiliar, flooded Ethan’s mind as he raised the knife above his head. He saw Y/N on the floor below him, bloody and beaten. He saw Chad spewing out blood from his mouth as he cried. He hated it; he used to love the feeling killing gave him, but now, it only reminded him of all the hurt he caused the two people he loved the most. He let out a defensive yell, fully ready to swing the knife down into Mary’s soft, tender throat.

He hesitated. For a split second he hesitated and he saw Y/N again. Her teary eyes looking up at him on the ground, shirt stained with dust and blood. She was back in the theater, and so was Ethan.

“Do it.” She whispered. 

His confused expression put his mind in a haze. A tear rolled down his cheek, running down to his neck. He felt soft, alluring hands run up his back. He slightly turned his head, gasping hoarsely as he heard Y/N’s voice repeat the command in his ear. 

“Do it.”

She snaked her hand to his jaw, turning his head back to look down at Mary. He let out a choked sob as his eyes hovered over Mary. Chad’s screams echoed through his head, and Y/N dug her nails into Ethan’s shoulders. 

Mary laid there, on the dusty floors of the bookstore, knife punctured in her chest. Her once feminine and white pajamas are now stained with crimson. He sobbed and thrashed his body away from hers. The echoing of Y/N’s whispers and Chad’s screams made Ethan cover his ears with his palms as he banged one of his fists against his forehead. 

He sat in that same position for thirty minutes before leaving. He told himself he’d take care of her body the next day, but right now, for his own sanity, he needed to see Y/N and Chad. Make sure they were alive, just in case. 

Ethan was met with an obvious “I’ve been crying for two nights straight” Y/N after knocking once on the apartment door. Her eyes were red and puffy, yet she was a sight for sore eyes for him. Immediately he was met with a cautious, but loving embrace. 

She didn’t ask him anything, not where he was or what he had done, but somehow, deep down she knew. Chad was in her bed, with a solemn expression.  Maybe the old Ethan would’ve seen red at the sight, but all he wanted to do was jump in the bed and sleep. 

They didn’t ask about the small blood stains on his fingertips. Nor did they ask about why Ethan’s hands shook as he lifted the covers. He laid in between them, looking over at Ollie’s crib to see him peacefully sleeping. Resting his head back onto the bed, he felt Y/N curl up next to him. 

The fear and worry left his body as he felt her, really felt her, for the first time in a year. Ethan slid his hand near Chad’s, causing Chad to look at him. 

“I’m sorry.” Ethan whispered to him, moving his hand back. Chad grabbed his retreating hand, and  he held it in his own. 

“It’s okay.” He responded before closing his eyes again. Both of the boys’ hearts heated slightly faster, knowing the exchange wasn’t about Ethan’s touch.  He’d do better, he told himself. He’d do better for them.

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The sound of flesh splitting open that emitted from Ethan stabbing was one of his favorite noises. Sometimes his chest would tighten from the way it made him feel. The way the blade sliced easily against skin like butter, the way skin would swell at the faintest cut. His favorite part though, was the kill. The way the shine in their eyes disappeared made Ethan giddy; he loved it.

Moving was supposed to be his fresh start with Y/N. After becoming the only member of his family alive, he promised Y/N he’d change after New York. And he did. For three months. Three months of isolation in the tiny apartment the couple shared was hell for Ethan. The day Y/N let him wander into the city he killed. 

It was four-thirty in the morning. The rattles of the windchimes that hung in their small porch combined with the creaky steps Ethan made in their kitchen filled the air. He looked out to their porch, staring at the open slide door. He shook his head as he made his way over to close it; and he wondered why Y/N left it open every night. The bedroom door was cracked open, and Ethan hoped he would be able to sneak washing the blood off his forearms without waking her. He tip-toed to their bathroom, checking over his shoulder ever so often to make sure she was asleep. He turned on the faucet halfway as he washed his arms in the dark.

He told himself he needed to calm down. He needed to be able to lay in bed still, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to do that with all of the tension inside of him from the kill. The cold water spilled off of his hands into the drain, catching the blood with it. Ethan looked dead ahead into the mirror. Only his eyes and highlights of his hair glimmered in the moonlight, and for a split second, his gaze gave himself chills. 

“Shit,” He hissed as the harsh light flipped on. He squinted his eyes at the glare and whipped his head towards the doorway, seeing a very annoyed Y/N. She wore one of Ethan’s shirts, the neckhole too big it hung at her clavicle, and a pair of booty shorts. The sight would usually make Ethan’s dick hard, but right now he felt shriveled up in fear. 

“Where were you?” She asked sternly. 

Ethan blinked repeatedly in a nerve wrecking manner. “What do you mean?” He asked lowly. She rolled her eyes and huffed. 

“You were gone for almost three hours. Where the hell were you?” She asked once more. 

“I dunno what you’re talking about.” Ethan mumbled in response. He knew she wasn’t budging. She squinted her eyes at him suspiciously and walked towards him, stopping once she saw the blood streaks in the sink. Her gaze flicked down to his shoes, coated in spots of blood. Her eyes widened in shock, along with Ethan, and the next thing she did shocked Ethan more. 

She immediately raised her hand to his neck, forcing him to bend over into a heated kiss.  Ethan moaned in surprise, but didn’t protest. Instead, he sighed heavily and snaked his hands to her waist, tightly gripping flesh. Their lips moved sloppily against each other in sync, the noises of their heavy breaths flowing to each others’ ears. He roughly pulled her against his body, and through lidded eyes Ethan saw her immediately look down. Her upper pelvis rubbed against his clothed erection, and Ethan threw his head back in pleasure. 

“This is what you do to me, baby,” He said as he watched her start to quickly undo his jeans. “You fucking ruin me.” 

She let out a dry laugh as she tugged his jeans and boxers down, letting his hard cock spring up. He hissed at the cold air, and his grip on her tightened as he left marks. She started to bend down before Ethan jerked her body up by her underarm. In one swift move, he picked her up by her thighs and set her on the bathroom counter. “As much as I love your lips, I need to be inside of you right now.” He whined, nudging his nose into her neck as he peppered kisses. 

“So needy for me, huh?” She cooed softly, her fingers raking his curls. He whimpered and nodded as he began to thrust into the air. “I missed this version of you. The rough, violent, you.” 

This made his head jerk up, his eyes full of admiration. 

“I’ve been trying to change you,” She whispered. He continued to stare at her, and he started to tug her shorts off . “I just need you to be rough again, please.” She begged. 

Ethan softly kissed her forehead. “You want me to be rough?” He asked, making sure. She nodded her head frantically, begging him. He nodded once. Then he quickly ripped her panties off, making her gasp as she stared at the torn material. He lined himself up to her entrance, and without hesitation, slammed his cock inside of her. 

A deep, guttural yell came out of her at the stretch. It burned and stung, but oh did it fill her up oh so good. Ethan, having the time of his life, continued to ram himself in and out of her. 

“Fuck honey,” he cooed down at her. “So wet for me, all for me.” 

She whimpered at his words, hair bouncing as Ethan jerked both of their bodies against each other. The arch of Ethan’s dick slid beautifully inside of her. She inhaled heavily as she shut her eyes, taking all the pleasure in. She needed this, she needed him. Ethan grunted as his hips slapped against her. He talked her through his climax, and he screwed his eyes shut as he came. But he didn’t stop. He didn’t stop because he knew she hadn’t finished yet. 

A hiss escaped his lips as he continued to thrust. Y/N looked up at him with big doe eyes, smiling as if she knew she had him wrapped around her pretty little finger. His thumb found her clit, immediately circling the sensitive bead. She gasped his name, and she involuntarily started grinding her hips against him. Ethan chuckled. 

“Always so needy for me, so needy for my cock that you become so limp in my hands.” Ethan teased in her ear. He was still hard even after finishing; Y/N always praised him for his stamina. She felt overstimulated, like her entire body felt goopy at his touch. Her tits bounced at Ethan’s rough movements, and Ethan whined as he watched the fabric of his shirt she wore move. She clenched around him as she approached her climax, and Ethan used his free hand to grip her jaw, forcing her into a heated kiss. 

“Ethan,” she whined. Her core tightened, and her mind went into a daze. 

“I would kill for you.” He said. “I would kill to feel you, I would kill for this pussy. I was made to kill for you.” He peppered kisses against her jaw after each sentence, and he felt the warmth of her cheeks radiate. 

“I’m gonna, I’m gonna,” She started, sitting up slightly as she grabbed and clawed Ethan’s back. Ethan nodded, shutting her up with another kiss. He quickened his pace with his hips and thumb, smiling into her mouth as he heard her mutter curses. She gasped loudly as she finished, and he slammed into her once more. 

Their breaths were loud and hot against each other’s skin. Beads of sweat slid down Ethan’s back, sending a chill down his spine. He pulled back to look at her state; disheveled and used. She blinked her eyes open, and with the smile Ethan gave her, she knew he would still kill. And he would do it for her.