VRASËSIMENDUR

Throwback thursday to when I was like 12 and I was putting out new writing DAILY...... Like entire Chapters of my then-current wips just, over an afternoon. What the fuck was I on

I drew 14 pictures during the day, and wrote 32 pages a night. Now I can’t do shit.

A huge part of this is because you've gotten better! And now, when you're drawing/writing/doing whatever creative task, you're not just mindlessly throwing thoughts at your paper, you're thinking as you do it. Children can churn out a lot more work because it's not yet refined, but when you're older and have more practice, you work with all these thoughts running through your head about form and shape, color palettes or word choice. Now, you're making a dozen decisions with every moment of work, and you're also questioning the decisions you've just made, wondering if you can do it better. Don't beat yourself up about producing less work now than you did back then, because every sentence or shape involves a lot more effort for you now, than it did when you were ten and brand new to this hobby.

Also you have a job now and the never-ending bullshit that is laundry and dishes and feeding yourself.

On the contrary, I think it's that pesky belittlement again: you've simply got in the habit of telling yourself you can't. It's the death by installments. You absolutely could. It doesn't need to involve more effort, it depends entirely on how much you foreclose your expectations. You absolutely can write and draw as prolifically and carefree as a 12 year old, if you just think about it differently. We (as in adults collectively) simply don't want to admit this, as it could entail mourning all the years we submitted to the belittlement. It doesn't have to, though.

"it would be so good if it was good" will haunt you but "it's extremely good, except for the one or two parts which are so bad it's genuinely kind of insulting" will straight up drive you insane

america why are your lorries so fucking ugly

sometimes there really is a single load bearing piece of information about a blogger that elucidates everything about their whole deal and recently for me it was learning that someone was from jersey. another time it was a prolonged history of concussions