Seventeen Going

Episode 12: Seventeen going to the laundromat to do their laundry because dk broke it a few weeks ago in the SHINee concert episode.

A/N: Finalllyyy I’m sorry for making you all wait, this is procrastination at its finest. So actually i’ve been pretty caught up with school stuff and all :’( it’s the exam period rn now but i will try my best to post another one soon~ :) would love to hear what you all think of my ‘scenarios’ :3 much loveeeee 

Vernon: “Someone tell me again why we’re going to the laundromat when we have a washing machine at home?”

DK: *creeps away* #culpritseokmin

Scoups: “Hmmmm I wonder why….” *glares at hoshi*

Hoshi: “Who? Me?”

Scoups: “Yeah who on earth do you think I’m looking at?”

Joshua: “It better not be Jeonghan”

Jeonghan: “What do you mean it better not be Jeonghan, IT HELLA RIGHT BE ME”

Hoshi: “At first I did wonder if you were looking at me, but then again you looked a little constipated…”

Scoups: “What?”

Hoshi: “You looked constipated”

Scoups: “YEAH I HEARD IT THE FIRST TIME SOONYOUNG”

Hoshi: “But you said what?”

Scoups: “That’s just… ugh never mind why do I even try”

Hoshi: “You need to try to poop so you won’t get constipation coups hyung”

Scoups: “GUYS THAT’S NOT THE POINT”

Seungkwan: “it’s not the right time to be talking about you because IF YOU DO NOT HAPPEN TO REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED 20 MINUTES AGO LET ME REFRESH YOUR MEMORIES”

*Twenty minutes ago*

Dino: “Om nom nom nom yummy yummy chicky nuggety” :>

Dino: *tries to bite the nugget but flies off his fork*

Seungkwan: “ARE YOU SEE-RI-OUS CHAN DID YOU JUST DROP YOUR CHICKEN NUGGET ONTO MY SHIRT?? NOW THERE IS KETCHUP AND ALLLLL ON ITTTT”

Dino: *pouts* TT

Mingyu: “What a waste of food, the five second rule applies to shirts too right?”

Wonwoo: “I want to say no because I don’t want you to eat that...”

Jun: “Then yes its a yes EAT THAT CRUSTY OLD NUGGET!” 

Jeonghan: “Stop blaming everything on my child BOOSEUNGKWAN”

Seungkwan: “THEN PLEASE TELL YOUR CHILD TO EAT HIS NUGGETS PROPERLY”

Mingyu: “Mingyu will be the first to start that petition”

*end of flashback*

Seungkwan: “MY SHIRT IS CURRENTLY COVERED IN DINO’S NASTY CHICKEN NUGGET KETCHUP SAUCE IT IS NOT THE RIGHT TIME TO BE ARGUING ABOUT YOU”

Vernon: “Oh so that’s what happened? I thought you got into a car accident or something...”

Jeonghan: “Hmph It’s always the right time to be talking about me”

Seungkwan: “YOU THOUGHT I WAS IN A CAR ACCIDENT AND DIDN’T ASK ME IF I WASS ALRIGHT??!”

Mingyu: “MINGYU IDEA!!! What happens if I put in my dirty dishes into the washing machines? My dishes will be clean!!”

Wonwoo: “and broken…”

Mingyu: “Mingyu will never have to do dishes again!!” \^^\

Jun: “What a genius, someone give him an award” *rolls eyes*

Vernon: “Dude, there is something called a dishwasher”

Mingyu: “oh…”

Woozi: “WOAAHH YUCKKK GROSS WHAT IS THAT STENCHHH?!?!” *pinches nose*

Seungkwan: “Probably the baby’s diapers”

Dino: :<  #seungkwanisouttogetchan

Jeonghan: “Oh no my baby did you poop your pants?”

Dino: “I AM NOT A BABY” D:

Jeonghan: “WHAT DID YOU SAY?!!!” *rages*

Dino: “I-I erm mean oopsie channie made a poopie”

Jeonghan: “Awwwwww my lil’ baby did his first poopie”

Dino: *internal cries* #helpchan2017

Mingyu: “OKAY MINGYU IDEA NUMBER TWO!!”

Woozi: “As if the first one wasn’t dumb enough”

Mingyu: “What if I put different fruits inside and if I don’t add detergent, it’ll give me fruit juice!!”

Joshua: “that’s called a blender”

Mingyu: 

DK: “Question”

Jun: “What dumb question are you going to ask now?”

DK: “How do I use this thingy?”

Jun: “Step one, open. Two, put your dirty clothes inside. Three close- and add detergent. Four, select water cycle. Five, put the coin-”

DK: “Wait-wait-wait hold-on-wait I didn’t catch what you said hyung, can you repeat it again??”

Jun: “One, open. Two put your stinky-ass laundry ins-“

DK: “say what? I got lost at step one”

Jun: *SIGHS* “first open the door”

DK: “wait where’s the door?”

Jun: *walks away*

DK: “JUN WHERE ARE YOU GOING? ARE YOU GOING TO FIND THE DOOR FOR ME???”

Mingyu: “I don’t get why we have to go to the laundromat when we could be going to that new bbq restaurant instead”

The8: “Of course typical unhygienic Mingyu rather eat than wash his clothes”

Woozi: “Tall in height, low in hygiene”

DK: “I am very tempted to make a comment”

Woozi: “TRY MEH”

DK: “Low in heig-“

Woozi: *eye twitch* “GET ME MY GUITAR”

Mingyu: “You guys make me sound like I don’t even wash my hands” *frowns*

Vernon: “Won’t be surprised”

Mingyu: “It’s not like you will die if you don’t wash your clothes or have poor hygiene, but you do know you will DIE if you don’t eat, right?”

Wonwoo: “Why does everything that Mingyu says, make sense to me…”

Vernon: “ERM have you perhaps heard of cholera?”

The8: “Dude and you just ate 30 minutes ago, why are you still thinking about more food?”

Mingyu: *gasps* “30 MINUTES WITHOUT FOOD HOW AM I ALIVE?!”

Joshua: “You are living because of the grace of the lord”

Mingyu: “Okay I think his grace is fading, I can feel myself dying, me needs food NOW!”

Seungkwan: “ALRIGHT LISTEN UP GERMY I’VE BEEN WEARING THIS SAME SHIRT FOR 3 WEEKS. ALL BECAUSE OF SEOKMIN AND HIS LACK OF LAUNDRY KNOWLEDGE AND NOW MY SHIRT SMELLS REAL BAD BECAUSE OF THAT BABY AND I WILL WHOOP YOUR TOL ASS IF YOU SAY ONE MORE WORD”

DK: “Wow someone woke up on the wrong side of their bed”

Woozi: “You’re lucky that you even woke up from any one side of your bed today my dearest dokyeom, there might not be a tomorrow for you”

DK: “Remind me to lock my bedroom before I sleep tonight”

Woozi: “I may or may not have a hidden copy of the key”

DK: “YOUNG MASTER LEE WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR FAITHFUL BUTLER SEOKMIN TO DO YOUR ROYAL LAUNDRY FOR YOU?”

Scoups: “WHOOOOO PUTTTTTT MYYYYY WHITTTEEEEE SHIRRRTTTT WITHHHH THEIRRR REDDDDD LAUNDRRRRYYYY?!?!??!!?!?”

DK: o.o

Jun: “Seokmin did” 0:D

Woozi: “Looks like you’re gonna be dead before we can get home” >:)

Scoups: “GET OVER HERE LEE SEOKMIN IS THIS YOUR STUPID RED SHIRT???”

DK: “N-No”

Wonwoo: “But I saw you wearing that shirt yesterday”

DK: “WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON WONWOO?!”

Scoups: “WHY DID YOU PUT YOUR SHIRT IN MY LAUNDRY?!! DON’T YOU KNOW YOU AREN’T SUPPOSED TO MIX YOUR REDS WITH WHITE LAUNDRY?!!!””

DK: “Jun hyung didn’t want to teach me how to use the spinny thingy”

The8: “You mean washing machine”

DK: “Yeah that! That spinning washing machine thingy”

Jun: “WHAT THE HECK DON’T YOU DARE PUSH THE BLAME TO ME”

Scoups: “MY SHIRT SEOKMIN! I GOT THIS SHIRT IN JAPANNNNN!!!”

Vernon: “OH DAMNNN, IT WAS A SPECIAL SHIRT”

DK: “I have a feeling everyone here is out to get me”

Hoshi: “I’m just glad no one is targeting me today” :)

Scoups: “HOW ARE YOU GOING TO FIX MY SHIRT NOW? IT BECAME PINK BECAUSE OF YOU!!”

DK: “I erm think you look great in pink, you’ll look really erm mascu-cough-masculine-cough”

Scoups: “You are such a bad liar”

DK: “Ma-Maybe y-you can use it as a rag?”

Scoups: *clenches fist*

DK: “Or or you could just dye or bleach the shirt....?”

Read the previous episode: Seventeen going to Dino’s birthday party

Episode 11: Where Seventeen tries to plan and prepare for Dino’s birthday by splitting up into their units to get things done.

A/N: I may or not have been trying to stall time to have this special posted as the 11th episode cause you know 11 feb is chan’s birthday haha okay im sorry my brain stopped functioning and it this special somehow ended up being episode eleven... 

Jeonghan: "Okay children we need to do something special for my baby! He's finally turning 5!"

Scoups:

Scoups: "Um Chan's gonna be 18 what are you talking about?"

Jeonghan: "We need FIVE candles for his cake, we need FIVE presents, we need FIVE balloons, we need to buy five of everything because he is FIVEEEE!!!"

Joshua: "I love you Jeonghan but I think you have problems with facing the fact that Dino is growing up..."

Jeonghan:

Hoshi: "I think it's time to let go of that fact that he isn't 5 years old anymore"

Vernon: “The last time I checked… Chan hasn’t been 5 years old in let’s see… about THIRTEEN YEARS?!?!”

Jeonghan: "My baby is FIVEEEE!!!"

Seungkwan: "This is absurd, you guys didn't do anything for my birthday... this is unfair! WHAT IS THIS INJUSTICE?!"

Seungkwan: “I TURNED 18 BEFORE THAT CHILD DID”

Jeonghan: “HE IS A BABY NOT A CHILD”

The8: "Your birthday passed?"

Jun: "I thought Seungkwan's birthday’s in December"

Woozi: "No that's Joshua's birthday"

Jun: "Then when's Seungkwan's birthday?"

Seungkwan: "F-"

Joshua: “February?”

Vernon: "No cursing on Dino's birthday it's bad luck for the birthday boy"

Jeonghan: "You mean birthday baby"

Seungkwan: "Who cares?!?!?! It's Dino that'll have bad luck NOT ME and my birthday for your information is in January!"

Woozi: “No one asked for when your birthday was”

Seungkwan: "UGH fine and anyway Vernon you curse all the time..."

Vernon: "Gangsta-sol rests on birthdays, on birthdays I sing happy songs and give presents"

Joshua: “That sounds more like Santa Claus”

Jeonghan: "Okay attention to the less beautiful human beings, please gather before me"

Wonwoo: "Is hyung the birthday party planner?"

Jun: "Yeah he thinks no one can do a better job than he can..."

Jeonghan: "Okay so we are going to split up into our units to split the tasks, the hip hop unit will be going to buy the cake and present, the vocal unit will be decorating the house and the performance unit will be stalling time and making sure that Dino doesn't come home"

Mingyu: "Why do we have to do the errands? You always give us the tougher ones..." *pouts*

Jeonghan: "Because Dino is my baby and Jeonghan the Angel says so!"

Mingyu: "Wha-"

Jeonghan: "and also because my hair is superior"

Scoups: "Don't fight with Jeonghan, you'll never win if he brings his hair into the fight"

Mingyu: ...

Mingyu: "Fine but we are stopping by KFC before we come home"

Scoups: "Okay deal"

Mingyu: "and also the famous bakery"

Scoups: "Alright, we have to get Chan's birthday cake anyways"

Mingyu: "and the candy store!"

Scoups: "I guess we can get Chan some candy for his birthday right?"

Mingyu: "AND AND AND the pancake and waffles cafe!!"

Wonwoo: “Um Mingyu I think you are getting too carried away…”

Scoups: "... It's okay if we have a slight detour right?"

Mingyu: "AND POPCORN!"

Scoups:

Scoups: "Now you're just being greedy"

Mingyu: “POPPPPCORNNNN!!!”

Jun: "Is this your birthday or Dino's?"

Mingyu: "Mine"

Seungkwan: "You mean mine since y’all never even bothered to celebrate mine?!?!"

Mingyu: “NO it’s MAH birthday since I’m gonna get some cake!”

Seungkwan: “BACK OFF MINGYU ITS MY BIRTHDAY”

Mingyu: “OH YEAH? WE’LL SEE WHO GETS TO BLOW OUT THE CANDLESSSS!!!”

Jeonghan: “SHUT UP ITS MY BABY’S BIRTHDAY! DON’T YOU BOTH DARE RUIN THIS FOR HIM OR ELSE I WILL SKIN YOU TWO ALIVE AND SELL YOUR SKINS AND USE IT AS MY CARPET!”

*on the way to the toy shop with the hip hop unit*

Mingyu: “I hate Seungkwan… he’s trying to steal my birthday…”

Scoups: “Okay ONE, your birthday is in April. TWO, it’s neither yours nor Seungkwan’s birthday, it’s DINO’s. THREE, we are already going to all the places you want to go so plea-“

Mingyu: “OHHH CAKE!” *runs to the bakery’s display window”

Scoups: “annnnddd I guess we’ll be buying Chan’s birthday cake first then” *sighs*

Mingyu: “CAN I EAT IT?”

Vernon: “No, it’s just for display, it’s not even real, it’s just made out of styr-“

Mingyu: *opens mouth*

Vernon: “Mingyu you can’t eat Styrofoam!”

Mingyu: “IT’S CAKE I’M GONNA EAT IT!”

Vernon: “IT’S NOT!” *attempts to take the display cake away*

Mingyu: “GET YOUR OWN CAKE VERNON THIS IS MINEEEEE!!!”

Vernon: “I DON’T WANT YOUR DUMB ASS CAKE I’M TRYING TO SAVE YOUR LIFE MAN!”

Mingyu: “IF YOU WANT TO SAVE ME THEN YOU SHOULD LET ME EAT THIS CAKE SO I WON’T DIE OF STRAVATION!”

Mingyu: *takes a bite*

Vernon: “Oh my god”

Mingyu: *chokes and collapses*

Wonwoo: “MINGYU!”

Scoups: “I knew this was going to happen someday”

Wonwoo: “Someone save Mingyu!!”

Vernon: “Okay hang on, let me google how to save someone who is choking on styrofoam”

Wonwoo: “Are you serious with me now?”

Vernon: “Why am I not getting any reception?!?!” *hits phone*

Mingyu: *coughs out white foam*

Wonwoo: “COUPS HYUNG!!!”

Scoups: “Hold on, hold on, I’m buying Dino’s cake, if I don’t buy it Jeonghan will either nag at me every single day until my ear bleeds and I die because of excessive bleeding or he will just take a knife and stab me until I die. And just between you and me, I think I rather have the latter”

Wonwoo: “But if you don’t do something now, MINGYU’S GONNA DIEEEE”

Scoups: “YEAH YEAH GIVE ME A MOMENT WONWOO”

Mingyu: *CHOKEESSSS*

Wonwoo: “AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO CARES ABOUT MINGYU?”

Mingyu: *nods head*

Vernon: “okay for once google was useless”

Wonwoo: “HELLO IS THIS THE HOSPITAL MY FRIEND IS CHOKING ON STYROFOAM CAN YOU- WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT IT ISN’T AN EMERGENCY? HELLO? HELLO??? THIS IS AN EMERGENCY DID YOU JUST HANG UP ON MY CALL???!!!”

Mingyu: “W-won-woo”

Wonwoo: “Yes Mingyu?” *crying*

Mingyu: “I-I don’t think… I’m going to make it…” *chokes*

Wonwoo: “Don’t say that! You’re gonna live! I won’t let you dieeee!”

Mingyu: “Wonwoo…. If I die…”

Wonwoo: “Yes?” *cries harder*

Mingyu: “Please bring lots of food to my funeral”

Wonwoo: “Anything for you Mingyu, I’m sorry you had to leave this way…” *hugs gyu tightly on the floor*

Mingyu: *closes eyes*

Wonwoo: “NO MINGYU OMG DON’T DIE ON ME! THERE WERE SO MANY THINGS THAT I HAVEN’T TOLD YOU! YOU CAN’T LEAVE ME!”

Mingyu: “G-go-goodbye Wonwoo….”

Wonwoo: “I can’t believe… he’s…. gone….” *SOBS*

Scoups: “Oh look, they sell donuts here too”

Mingyu: *gets up* “WHERE?!?!”

Scoups: “Just joking, alright boys let’s go”

Wonwoo:

Mingyu: “B-but I came back from the dead for donuts….”

Vernon: “They said to wait for the person to cough first and if the person’s nails and lips starts to turn blue then you can stand behind the person and put your arms around his waist and make a fist with your hand and place it above his navel and then- “

Scoups: “He’s not choking anymore Hansol…”

Vernon: “Oh”

Wonwoo: “My life is a lie”

*meanwhile at the dorm with the vocal unit*

Jeonghan: “I’m going to blow up the balloons, Joshua and Woozi, you two will hang up the banner and posters, DK and Seungkwan can you set up the Karaoke set and games?”

Joshua: *grabs banner from the floor*

Joshua: “Woozi can you stop lying on the sofa and help me with this banner?”

Woozi: “Sure”

Joshua:

Joshua: “I’m waiting for you Woozi….”

Woozi: “Yeah continue to wait then”

Joshua: “Woozi I can’t hang this banner up alone!”

Woozi: “I’ll come help you as soon as Jeonghan cuts his hair”

Joshua:

Joshua: “That’s never happening…”

Woozi: “And so is me helping you hang that banner” *smiles*

Woozi: “I’m very glad we had this talk Joshua” *pats Joshua on the back and walks into bedroom*

Joshua: “Well first he forgets about my existence in the vocal unit and now this”

DK: “What games did Jeonghan hyung write down?”

Seungkwan: “According to this list…. We’re gonna play… hide and seek, musical chairs… and pin the tail on the donkey?”

DK: “What is this? A kid’s party?!”

Seungkwan: “DID YOU FORGET THAT HE THINKS DINO IS FIVE?”

DK:

DK: “In that case, that donkey better not be me”

Seungkwan: “That actually… doesn’t sound too bad” *evil plots*

DK: “Oh you know what? We should set up the Karaoke set first” *takes console out of the dusty box*

Seungkwan: “EW THE DUST”

DK: “It’s grosser than Mingyu’s snot bubbles”

Seungkwan:

DK: “Yeah you don’t want to know Kwan… you don’t want to know…”

Seungkwan: “Okay question”

Seungkwan: “Do I plug in the pink, blue or yellow plug into the TV?”

DK: “That’s a good question…. You know what? Let’s just try it all”

Seungkwan: *plugs the blue one in*

Seungkwan: “Nope not the blue one” *yanks it out*

Seungkwan: “Pink one?”

TV: *sparks up and makes hissing noises*

Seungkwan: “OKAY OKAY HOLY CRAP ITS NOT THE PINK ONE!!!” *unplugs pink one*

Joshua: “Hannie…. Can you get Woozi to do something? I still haven’t put up any posters”

Jeonghan: “Jihoon! Can you put up ONE poster please?”

Woozi: “No”

Jeonghan: “I see that you haven’t cleaned up your room since a week ago when I told you to, and also you haven’t been writing or composing any songs what have you been doing in your room? It’s becoming a pig sty, oh god have you been eating pizza in this room?! I told you to clean it up-“

Woozi: “Okay! Okay! what do you want me to do?!”

Jeonghan: “Help Joshie with the posters”

Woozi: *sighs*

DK: “ALL DONE”

Seungkwan: “LETS SEE IF ITS WORKING PROPERLY THEN” *switches it on*

DK: “Won’t Jeonghan scream at us?”

Seungkwan: “Oopsy too late” *clicks song*

*song starts*

DK: “PICK ME PICK ME PICK ME PICK ME PICK ME UP!”

Seungkwan: “I WANT YOU TO PICK ME UP!”

DK: “PICK ME PICK ME PICK ME PICK ME PICK ME”

Seungkwan: *dances to Pick Me*

DK: “I WANT YOU TO PICK ME-”

Seungkwan: *lets go of microphone and hits the TV screen*

DK:

Seungkwan: “oops”

DK: “Omg you broke the TV Seungkwan BOO”

Seungkwan: “I said sorry!”

DK: “NO you said oops”

Seungkwan: “Well oops means sorry!”

DK: *pushes kwan*

DK: “oops”

Seungkwan: “DID YOU JUST PUSH ME?”

DK: “I said oops which means sorry”

Seungkwan: *pushes seokmin making him knock over a glass over water and spilling it onto the karaoke console*

DK: “They are gonna freak out, both the karaoke console and the TV are fried”

Seungkwan: “Well it’s not our fault… it’s Jeonghan’s for putting two irresponsible kids to such difficult tasks”

DK: “Now the problem is… how and where shall we hide this?”

DK & Seungkwan: *looks at each other 

DK & Seungkwan: *quietly turns the tv off and puts everything into the store room*

Joshua: O.O

Joshua: “What the heck is that?!”

Woozi: “A dinosaur poster with Michael Jackson’s head on the Dinosaur’s body, I call it Michael Roarson”

Jeonghan: “Genius”

Woozi: “Dino likes Michael Jackson and he likes dinosaurs, so why not combine it into one and it’ll be the best poster of the century!”

Jeonghan: “You’re gonna give the child nightmares”

Woozi: “Yes! It’ll finally scare him enough so he’ll stop talking about Michael Jackson and I can sell them away and make tons of money, now step two of my plan is to find out where Chan keeps his limited edition MJ items”

Jeonghan: “Did you say something Jihoon?”

*meanwhile with the performance unit*

Dino: “Where have you guys been???”

Jun: “Walking?”

Dino: “You three said you wanted to watch this movie and told me to go buy it at 8 in the morning and which by the way only opens at 10am, I waited 2 hours just to get the ticket and another 2 hours for you all to walk HERE!!”

Hoshi: “Sorry Chan, we were busy listening to Jeongh-“

The8: *elbows hoshi*

Hoshi: “I mean listening to Jeonghan talk about his hair” *awkward laughs*

The8: “How about we treat to popcorn and snacks”

Hoshi: “You know since its your b-“

The8: *steps of hoshi’s feet*

Dino: “My what?”

Hoshi: “Owwieee Minghao!”

The8: “Sorry I thought I saw a bug and I wanted to kill it”

Dino: “Hyungs… you are acting weirdly...”

Jun: “My boy, when have you not seen us act normally?”

Dino: “You have a point there”

The8: “Dinosaur gummies for Chan!” *hands him a packet*

Dino: “I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS BETTER, THAT IT’S GUMMIES OR THAT IT’S SHAPED LIKE DINOSAURS” *hugs packet*

Hoshi: “Can I have one?”

Dino: “NO”

Hoshi: “Selfish brat I bought that for you! Do you think you’re the king just because its your bir-“

The8: *pours his cup of coke onto hoshi*

Hoshi: “AHHHHHHH IT’SSS COLLDDDDD”

The8: “Oops it just slipped out of my hands”

Hoshi: “Onto my head?!?!”

The8: “Yeah”

Jun: “Okay Chan let’s just leave the two weirdos out here and let’s go watch the movie, if anyone asks you, you don’t know them”

Dino: *nods head like a lil’ child*

*in the theatre*

Jun: “Do you feel cold chan?”

Dino: “Yes” *pouts as he chews on his gummies*

Jun: “Okay you can use my jacket” #mama jun mode on

Hoshi: “I’m cold too! Why isn’t anyone asking me if I’m cold?”

The8: “Because no one cares”

Hoshi: “UGH it’s not like you care about chan either, you’re just giving him special attention today because it’s his damn birt-“

The8: *whacks hoshi with his chocolate bar*

Hoshi: “OW MINGHAO!”

The8: “I can do this all day hyung”

Hoshi: “I miss Woozi…” *sobs*

*halfway through the movie

Dino: "Stop pushing me hyung!"

Hoshi: “Hush it child”

Dino: “Why are we going back to the dorm? We didn’t even get to finish watching the movie!”

Dino: *opens door*

Seventeen: "SURPRISEEE!!!"

Dino: *jumps in shock*

Dino: "I can't believe you did all of this for me! A dinosaur cake oh my god, dinosaur balloons...is… is... is that a dinosaur poster with a michael jackson face on top of its body?!"

Jeonghan: “Erm… *looks at poster* … yes?”

Dino:

Woozi: “I did it, you better be happy”

Dino:

Dino: “I l-love it” *fake smiles*

Mingyu: *chokes and coughs out white styrofoam*

Dino: “Is…. Mingyu okay?”

Wonwoo: “Don’t ask Chan, some things are better left unknown”

Scoups: “I got you your cake do you like it?”

Dino: “YES it’s a giant dinosaur! Can I eat his head please?”

Joshua: “Hello Chan please look at the banner that I put up ALL BY MYSELF”

Woozi: “Joshua can you stop yelling, I’m just next to you. I’m not deaf”

Dino: “It says Happy birthday chan you’re finally…. five?”

Joshua: “Jeonghan thinks you’re five years old”

Dino: “Of course he does”

Jeonghan: “NUGU AEGI?”

Dino: “Not this again... hyung do I really have to?”

Jeonghan: “Yes”

Dino: “J-Jeonghan’s aegi” *mentally stabs self*

Jeonghan: “TIME TO SING YOU YOUR BIRTHDAY SONG!”

Seventeen: “HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR DINO”

Jeonghan: “YOU MEAN BABY DINO DID YOU EVEN READ THE LYRICS I SENT YOU ALL?!?!?!”

Jun: “Frankly no”

Seventeen: “HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU” *claps hands*

Mingyu: *blows out the candles*

Jeonghan: “Seriously Mingyu what did I tell you?”

Seungkwan: “NOT FAIR YOU GUYS DIDN’T CELEBRATE MY BIRTHDAY I SHOULD BE THE ONES BLOWING OUT THE CANDLES WHY DOES MINGYU GET TO???”

Mingyu: “Because it’s my birthday!”

Seungkwan: “OH you really want to do this Kim Mingyu? Let’s see whose birthday it really is!”

Seungkwan: *cuts the cake and bites it*

Mingyu: *gasps*

Mingyu: “MY CAKE!”

Scoups: “YO DUDE THAT CAKE IS FOR CHAN!”

Dino: *cries*

Jun: “It’s okay Dino, it’s okay” *hugs the baby*

Mingyu: *runs up to poster with a marker and cancels chan’s name and writes his name instead*

Mingyu: “Now it says Happy birthday Mingyu you’re finally five!” *claps for self*

Seungkwan: *gasps*

Woozi: “I’m not the one who hung up the poster but I feel like I need to hit someone”

Seungkwan: *runs towards presents*

Mingyu: “Oh no I’m going to open them!”

Seungkwan: “Not if I get there first!”

Mingyu & Seungkwan: *starts ripping the wrapping paper*

Jeonghan: “WHAT THE HECK”

Mingyu & Seungkwan:

Jeonghan: “I TOLD YOU NOT TO RUIN HIS BIRTHDAY DIDN’T I?”

Mingyu: “But it’s my birthday”

Jeonghan: *grabs mingyu by the collar*

Jeonghan: “I will break everything that you love and care about”

Wonwoo: “Me?”

Jeonghan: “No, I’m going to break all the snacks he secretly hid in this dorm and throw them out of the window”

Mingyu: “NO NOT MY FOOD!!!”

Jeonghan: “THEN BEHAVE!!!”

Dino: “Oh well, it’s okay it was a fun birthday anyways, as long as we are together and not apart”

Joshua: “Awwww what an angel, you really are Jeonghan’s baby”

Vernon:

Joshua: “Y-you know ca-cause Jeonghan is an angel?”

Scoups: “I’m happy you had a good birthday Chan”

Dino: “I got to watch a movie with the performance unit hyungs, even though Hoshi and The8 kept fighting…”

Jeonghan: *glares*

Hoshi: “It was Minghao that hit me, stepped on me, poured his drink on me!”

The8: “That’s because Soonyoung kept mentioning Dino’s birthday!”

Hoshi: “What so you want me to lie???”

Dino: “And the hip hop unit hyungs bought me my favourite cake even though I haven’t tasted it…”

Jeonghan: *GLARES*

Seungkwan: “WHAT”

Vernon: “Now I’m fully equipped with the knowledge from google of how to save a person who is choking from styrofoam”

Wonwoo: “I wish you’re the one who is choking right now because no one would know how to save you”

Vernon: “What did I ever do to you?”

Wonwoo: “For not saving Mingyu”

Vernon: “I TOLD YOU ITS NOT ME! IT WAS THE RECEPTION OF MY PHONE!”

Joshua: “I still want to get rid of that phone so badly”

Dino: “And the vocal unit hyungs decorated the dorm so nicely… even if that Michael Jackson head is just pasted on the dinosaur’s body”

Hoshi: “Did my woozi do that? It’s a WORK OF ART!!! Can I keep it?”

Woozi: “I rather have Dino hate it and burn it then to let you keep it”

Seungkwan: “OKAY ITS TIME FOR GAMES! WE ARE PLAYING… PIN THE TAIL ON THE DOKYEOM!”

DK: “You mean Donkey”

Seungkwan: “No I mean Dokyeom”

DK: “Is that a real pin? With a sharp pointy tip? You can’t pin that on me!”

Seungkwan: *puts a blindfold on Chan*

DK: “What are you all just gonna watch?”

Dino: “Where is Dokyeom hyung? I can’t see” *swings arm around*

DK: *runs away*

Woozi: “Take three steps to your right, then five steps in front, he’s hiding in the corner of the house by the dining table”

Dino: *tries to pin it on Dokyeom*

DK: “AHHHHHHHH!!!! SOMEONE GET THIS CHILD AWAY FROM ME THIS IS A DANGEROUS GAME!”

Jeonghan: “YOU MEAN BABY HE IS A BABY EVERYONE GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT!”

Scoups: “Hold up…. Where’s our TV?”

phew that was a long one, I hoped you all enjoyed it :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE OH SO LIL’ ONE! :)

masterlist ✨

Episode Ten: Where Seventeen decides to go to their Sunbae’s Concert to cause more destruction and chaos

disclaimer: this in no way is trying to offend any fans/ fandoms, this in no way represents a certain type of fan/ fandom and is just written for everyone to have a light-hearted laugh :)

Hoshi: “I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M GOING TO SHINEE SUNBAENIM’S CONCERT!!!” *flaps arms in the air*

The8: “You mean WE are going to Shinee Sunbaenim’s concert…”

Hoshi: “What do you mean we?”

Wonwoo: “Minghao means that all of the members are going to the concert not just you Soonyoung”

Hoshi:

Hoshi: “But I didn’t buy tickets for you all”

Scoups: “WHAT”

Hoshi: “I didn’t know you all wanted to go!”

Scoups: “Soonyoung… I gave you like $4,000… why do you think I gave you so much money for?!”

Hoshi: “I thought you were finally giving me the love and attention I deserved and so you gave me more money!"

Woozi: “I am amazed at how highly you think of yourself”

Vernon: “Jeonghan hyung, I think you need to get Seungcheol hyung a glass of water, he needs to calm down”

Jeonghan: “Why me? Why don’t you get him a glass of water!”

Vernon: “Because you love him?”

Jeonghan: “Yeah sure.”

Vernon: “What is that supposed to mean??”

Jeonghan: “What are you waiting for Hansol? Go get him a glass of water!”

Vernon:

Scoups: “SO WHAT DID YOU DO WITH FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS SOONYOUNG?!!”

Hoshi: “Woozi I’m scared” *hugs woozi*

Woozi: “Ew don’t touch me”

Hoshi: “But you’re supposed to protect me, I’m your squishy!”

Woozi: “When did I ever say that?”

Hoshi: “In my dreams…”  *smiles*

Scoups: “KWON SOONYOUNG!!!”

Hoshi: “I don’t know anything!”

Seungkwan: “I can tell you what he did with that money”

Hoshi: “HOW COULD YOU SELL ME OUTTTT”

Seungkwan: 

Scoups:

Seungkwan:

Scoups: *taps foot waiting*

Seungkwan:

Scoups: “SO WHAT DID HE DO WITH THE MONEY SEUNGKWAN?!!" 

Seungkwan: “Money”

Scoups: ???

Seungkwan: “What? I’m not going to give away the information so easily…”

Scoups: *hands Seungkwan 5 bucks*

Seungkwan: “5 dollars can’t even buy me fried chicken”

Mingyu: “I want fried chicken…”

Scoups: *rolls eyes and hands Seungkwan another 5 dollars*

Seungkwan: “It’s a little short of what I expected but I’ll tell you anyways… he bought VVVVVIP tickets, front row, backstage pass, a meet and greet private session and also an autographed album, oh yeah aaaannnddd he bought two of everything”

Hoshi: “YOU TRAITOR!”

Scoups: “WHATTTTTT?!?!?!?!”

Vernon: “Here’s a glass of water you need to calm down hyung”

Scoups: *throws water at Soonyoung’s face*

Hoshi: *screams*

Hoshi: “MY SHINEE CONCERT SHIRT!!!”

Vernon: “Erm that was meant for you to drink it”

Seungkwan: “Oh yeah did I forget to mention he bought the entire merchandise store and the shirt he is wearing is one of the things he bought”

Hoshi: "NOT HELPING SEUNGKWAN!"

Scoups: “YOU SPENT ALL OF OUR MONEY ON YOURSELF?!”

Hoshi: “YOU DID NOT TELL ME YOU ALL WANTED TO GO TO SEE SHINEE TOO!”

Seungkwan: “Yes finally some action! This is what I left Jeju for! Hey Vernon pass him another glass of water, I didn’t get to record it”

DK: “So why did he buy two?”

Jun: “Do you really need to ask? It’s so obvious”

Dino: “He bought it to go with someone duh”

DK: “Who?”

The8: “Even the maknae knows and he is like 3”

Dino: “heyyyyyy….” *frowns*

Woozi: “I hope it’s not me”

Jun: “Dude don’t even try wishing that it isn’t, because it’s probably you"

DK: "But what’s da point of buying front row tickets when Woozi hyung is too short to see anything"

Woozi: 

Woozi: "Hang on for a moment, I'll be back after I break everything in Seokmin's room"

Woozi: *leaves*

DK: 

DK: "He's just joking right?"

*sound of glass shattering*

DK: "omg"

Hoshi: "Onew's face is drenched in WATERRR!!" *attempts to dry it with a tissue*

Scoups: "Selfish jerk I can't believe you did that!" 

Hoshi: “I can’t believe you threw water at my SHINee concert shirt!”

Wonwoo: "I saved up five months’ worth of my book buying allowance for the ticket..."

Mingyu: "I thought I already used that money for the pizza delivery last month?"

Wonwoo: "You what?"

Mingyu: "You heard nothing"

Hoshi: "I'm sorry sunbaenims... you got slapped with water" *cries*

Vernon: "You mean you got slapped with water"

Hoshi: "What did you do to deserve such humiliation? Amazing talent? Good looks?" *cries harder*

Scoups: "HELLO SOONYOUNG GIVE ME BACK MY 4000 BUCKS!"

Hoshi: "I can't its already gone!"

Scoups: "THEN SELL YOUR MERCH AWAY AND RETURN US THE MONEY!"

Hoshi: *uses two fingers to covered T-shirt Taemin's ears*

Hoshi: "How dare you say that in front of Taemin! Don't worry Taeminnie he is just jealous of your amazing talent and dancing skills and flawless looks which he doesn't have" 

Scoups: "WHY I OUTTA-"

Scoups: *lunges and grabs hoshi's shirt*

Hoshi: "STOP STOP HYUNG YOU'RE HURTING KEYYY!!!" 

Joshua: "Okay okay calm down everyone if we just take a step back we will see that it's just a small matter and it is not worth fighting over"

Seungkwan: "Soonyoung used your bibles as a stool when he tried to reach for his piggy bank"

Hoshi: "thanks a lot fam"

Joshua: "HOSHIIIII YOU LITTLE PRICK"

Seventeen: *gasp*

Vernon: "Whoa watch your language man"

Joshua: "YOU FREAKING PRICK I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU PUT YOUR DIRTY-ASS FEET ON THE HOLY WORD OF THE LORD!!"

Hoshi: "I'm sorry I needed my money if not how am I going to see SHINee?!!"

Joshua: "And I'm sorry that you weren't born taller" *throws dino's apple juice at hoshi*

Dino: "My.... my juice..."

Jeonghan: "I don't know what is happening to Joshie these few days but I think I kinda like it"

The8: "You mean the crazy Joshua that suddenly rages and forgets about his gentlemanly self and attacks people with his vicious words like a dog with a serious case of rabies?!"

Jeonghan: "Yeah that Joshua, bad boy joshie, Jeonghan likey"

Hoshi: "MY SHIRT!!! MINHO! JONGHYUN OMG ARE YOU OKAY?!!!"

Seungkwan: "Well that’s gonna leave a stain..."

Woozi: "Just wash it"

Hoshi: “But I need it tonight! The concert’s tonight!”

DK: *yanks shirt off hoshi and throws it into the washing machine*

Hoshi: “Will my shirt be okay?”

DK: “I can’t guarantee that it’ll be okay but I’ll just lie to you and say yes” *smiles*

Hoshi:

DK: “How much detergent do I put in this thing?”

*5 Hours Later… at the Concert…*

Hoshi: “I can’t believe I let you talk me out of wearing my shinee concert shirt to the shinee concert”

Scoups: “You’re lucky I haven’t murdered you with Jihoon’s guitar and sold your limps to the butcher”

Hoshi:

Joshua: “I doubt the butcher would want to even buy it"

Mingyu: “Mingyu wouldn’t buy that rotten piece of meat from the butcher….”

Wonwoo: “How did Coups hyung manage to get us in?”

Jun: “He sold Hoshi’s tickets and whatever he had bought and purchased 13 tickets for us”

Mingyu: “Can I go out to buy some food… I think we’re too early… it starts in an hour’s time” *pouts*

The8: “Is there ever a day or a time where you can stop thinking about food?”

Hoshi: “NOONA NEOMU YEPPEO! REPLAYYYY REPLAYYYY”

Seventeen:

Hoshi: “NEOMU AREUMDAUN-DAUN-DAUN-DAUN VIEWW”

Woozi: “Omg shut up”

Hoshi: “ONE OF ONE GIRLLLLL”

Seventeen: *covers ears*

Hoshi: “WHYYYYY SOOOO SERIIIOOUUSSS” *waves light stick*

Hoshi: *light stick falls out of his hand and hits woozi*

Woozi:

Hoshi: “Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry” *rubs hands together*

Shawols: *glares*

Shawols: “WRONG BAND GET OUT!”

Hoshi: “No no, I was just saying sorry to my friend… no no um, my boyfriend?… errrrrm my girlfriend?”

Woozi: “Why am I your girlfriend?”

Shawol 1: “Girlfriend?....YEOJA CHINGU?! Gfriend???” *rage*

DK: “SCOUPTASTU SCOUPTASTU SU TU RU RU” *dances happily*

Scoups: “Oh my god you guys are such an embarrassment”

Shawols: *clenches fist*

Hoshi: “OMG SEOKMIN STOP THAT”

Hoshi: “I love SHINEE I SWEAR!”

Jeonghan: “Ohhhh I~ Swearrr~”

Wonwoo:

Jeonghan: “What? Can’t I stan Sistar?”

Shawol 2: “Get me a bat”

Hoshi: “RING DING DONG, RING DING DONG, RING DIGGY DING DIGGY DING DING DING” *dances to ring ding dong*

Hoshi: “SEE I LOVE SHINEEEE”

Shawols: *gangs up*

Hoshi: “Wait or was it RING DONG DING OR DING RING DONG?”

Seungkwan: “DING RING DONG, DING RING DONG”

Vernon: “Not making it better Seungkwan….”

Hoshi: “Wait don’t you know us? We’re Seventeen! You know everyday boom boom?”

DK: “YAH YAH YAH BOOMBAHYAH BLACKPINK IN YOUR AREAAAA”

Hoshi: “NO NOT THAT BAND! OKAY YOU KNOW ME? HOSHI? NAEGA HOSH?”

The8: “NAEGA JEIL JAL NAGA”

Jun: “BAM RATATATA TATATATATA”

Dino: *whispers* “Oh my god” #poseslikeCL

Hoshi:

Hoshi: “That was actually really good my performance team! Maybe we can do that for one of our performan-”

Shawols: *grabs hoshi by the collar*

Hoshi: “OKAY OKAY NO NOT GOOD! BAD CHILDREN BAD!”

Mingyu: “DASI RUN RUN RUN” *runs*

Scoups: “What a loyal member…” smh

Wonwoo: “TT… Mingyu… how could you abandon me…”

Hoshi: “How do you want me to prove it to you that I’m a 100% SHAWOL? I’M MARRIED TO THE MUSICCCC”

Dino:

Dino: “I thought you were married to Woozi hyung?”

Woozi: o.O

Hoshi: “That was a secret chan how could you tell everyone my secret?!”

Shawol: “YOU DON’T HAVE YOUR CONCERT SHIRT!”

Hoshi: “GODDAMMIT”

Shawol: “Get this fake shawol out of here!!!”

Hoshi: “No guys I can explain, I have it but then we got into a fight about me getting VVVVVVIP tickets and then they threw water and apple juice at my shirt-“

Shawol 3: “YOU LET OUR OPPAS GET DRENCHED IN APPLE JUICE?!”

Scoups: “Okay guys I have a plan to get us out of here in one piece…. Hopefully....”

Wonwoo: “But I’m already broken into a million pieces it’s hurts so bad… my heart broke into a billion pieces when he left me here how can I ever get out of here in one piece when I’m so broken I cannot even be fixed back together even with superglue?”

Seventeen:

Jun: “If only that was for me and not Mingyu…”

Vernon: “That’s deep man”

Joshua: “Somehow… I can relate to this”

Scoups: “Okay moving on…. I’m going to try to distract them and you guys try to escape alright?”

DK: “SEVENTEEN FIGHTING!”

Hoshi: “FIGHTING!”

Woozi: “Oh god”

Scoups: “OH LOOK IT’S A SHIRTLESS TAEMIN!”

Shawols: *screams*

Hoshi: “WHEREEE???!”

Woozi: *facepalms*

Jeonghan, Dino, Joshua, Wonwoo, Jun and DK: *escapes*

Scoups: “Oh god Soonyoung”

Hoshi: “I DON’T SEE A SHIRTLESS TAEMIN YOU LIED TO ME COUPS”

Shawols: *REALISES THE LIE AND ANGRY RAGES ON COUPS*

The8: “GREAT THANKS A LOT SOONYOUNG NOW WE JUST MADE THEM ANGRIER”

Seungkwan: “I know what will help!”

The8: “It better not be a song”

Seungkwan: “Minghao! You’re getting smarter by the day!”

Seungkwan: “and a one, a two, a one two three, BABY YOU ARE MY ANGELLLLL!”

DK: *runs back into the concert hall*

DK: “THAT IS MY LINE YOU LINE STEALER”

Jun: *runs back into the concert hall*

Jun: “DID YOU SAY LINES?? I BARELY HAVE LINES AND HERE YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT LINES WHEN YOU TWO SHARE AN ENTIRE CHORUS?!!”

Dino: “Hyungs stop it…”

Vernon: “FEELS LIKE THE LOTTO THE LOTTO LOTTO FEELS LIKE THE LOTTO THE LOTTO”

Scoups: *glares*

Vernon: “What? I might as well promote myself right?”

DK: “I JUST HIT THE LOTTOOOOO”

Shawols: “EXO?”

DK: “What? Don’t you like EXO?”

Woozi: “Shut up Seokmin”

*Several hours later after much hair pulling and punching*

Mingyu: “What took you guys so long? The food I bought turned cold so I had to eat it all”

The8: “Don’t lie Mingyu, lying will give you food poisoning and you won’t be able to eat anything for three months”

Mingyu: “Erm… Manager hyung… can you drop me off at the temple? I erm have some things I need to ask God to forgive me for…”

Joshua: “Can I take this chance to tell you about Christ? Have you heard of him?”

Jeonghan: “YES like everyday Joshua…. *sighs* I miss my bad boy Joshie”

Jeonghan: “OH YEAH AND CAN SOMEONE CHECK IF I STILL HAVE HAIR ON MY HEAD THOSE GIRLS ALMOST YANKED OUT MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR! MAYBE I SHOULD GET MY HAIR INSURED...”

Joshua: “If anything ever happens to you... I don’t know what I would do... I’ll blame myself for not protecting you.... It’s all my fault...”

Vernon: “It’s just his hair man”

Joshua: “PRECISELY!”

Hoshi: “SHINEE…. MY SHINEE….”

Wonwoo: “Oh look, people who went to the concert are posting on their social media….”

Jun: “What does it say?”

Wonwoo: “Apparently Onew gave out free chicken to fans, Minho brought V onto the stage as a guest, Jonghyun gave everyone a copy of his book that he wrote, Taemin was shirtless 98% of the time and Key decided to sass everybody as usual”

Hoshi: “THAT SOUNDED LIKE THE BEST CONCERT EVER I HATE YOU ALL”

Dino: “Even Woozi hyung?”

Hoshi: “STOP REVEALING MY WEAK SPOTS MAKNAE!”

DK: “I feel like I’m forgetting something”

*meanwhile back at the dorm*

Washing Machine: *chokes*

Washing Machine: *rumbles*

Washing Machine: *shakes*

Washing Machine: *explodes*

*in the car*

DK: *thinks for two seconds*

DK: *shurgs* “Meh”

masterlist ✨

Episode Nine: Seventeen heads to the Buffet Restaurant and Joshua decides to start a fight with Seungcheol

*in the queue for the buffet restaurant*

Waiter: “For how many?”

Scoups: “13 please”

Waiter: “Um…” *looks back at the packed restaurant*

Waiter: “Can you sit separately?”

Hoshi: “NO YOU CAN’T SEPARATE ME FROM WOOZI! NEVERRRR!!!”

Waiter:

Scoups: “Yeah it’s alright, we can just split into four or five per table”

Hoshi: “BUT I WANT TO-

Scoups: “Soonyoung you can sit with Jihoon now shut up please”

Hoshi: *smiles*

Waiter: “So twelve adults and one child?”

Woozi: “You better not be talking about me”

Dino: “I think he was talking about me hyung…”

Waiter: “Oh hey there little one didn’t see you back there, should I get two baby chairs for your children?”

Woozi: “Someone hold me back or I’m gonna dig out his eyes”

Hoshi: “Go get him Woozi! He tried to separate us just now!”

Woozi: “Suddenly I like this waiter a whole lot, should we be friends?”

*at table one: Jeonghan, Joshua, Scoups, Dino, DK*

DK: “Dish ish da kool peepur’s taburle”

Dino: “I don’t think I understand what you just said…”

Joshua: “Ugh why is the third party here?”

Scoups: “Are you perhaps referring to me Hong Jisoo?”

Dino: “I don’t like this table…. Can I go sit with somewhere else?”

Jeonghan: “No, you need to sit beside me so I can cut your food for you and feed you”

Joshua: “Why are you always third wheeling around Jeonghan and I?”

Scoups: “Know your place Joshua Hong, I came first”

Joshua: “I hope you mean by birth because if we are talking about his heart or feelings, I come in first”

Jeonghan: “Keep it down will you? People are staring…”

Scoups: “Well, why did you lead Joshua on and ruin our relationship then?”

Joshua: “Excuse me, what?”

Dino: “I’m leaving this table-”

Jeonghan: *buckles chan down into his baby chair*

Dino: “DANG IT”

*at table two: Wonwoo, Jun, The8, Mingyu*

Mingyu: “Okay guys half of this table is mine, please make sure your plates do not invade my side of the table”

Jun: “Four of us are sharing the table and you’re claiming half of it?”

The8: “It’s not like you don’t know him Jun, he probably needs half of the table for the amount of food he is going to take”

Mingyu: “Ding Dong Deng! Minghao you know me so well!”

Jun: “Then is the three of us supposed to share the other half???”

Mingyu: “UM DUH”

Wonwoo: “Why was it only a dream???”

Jun: “Did you say something Wonwoo?”

Wonwoo: “No… I’m going to get myself some food…”

*at table three: Seungkwan, Vernon, Hoshi, Woozi*

Woozi: “I can’t believe I’m seating with you”

Hoshi: “I KNOW RIGHT I CAN’T BELIEVE IT TOO SQUEALLLL”

Woozi: “I’m reconsidering my new-found friendship with the waiter…”

Vernon: “I can wait here while you guys can go get your food”

Seungkwan: “Why? Are you saying that I’m too greedy and that I can’t wait?!”

Vernon: “I didn’t mean it like that… Then shall I go get the food first while you wait?”

Seungkwan: “What are you implying Hansol Vernon Chwe? That if I go there I’ll take all the food and you won’t have any left, so you better go take your share of food first before I eat it ALLL?!!”

Vernon: “I am so done with you”

Seungkwan: “Are you saying that I’m annoying and irritating?”

Vernon: “Does anyone want to swap seats with me?”

Dino: “ME WANTS!”

Jeonghan: “Stop it or I’m not letting you have any fries”

*buffet counter*

Mingyu: “This is Mingyu’s heaven, they have everything I ever craved for, they have pizza, fried chicken, kimchi fried rice, dumplings, kimbap, pasta, udon, ramen, ice cream, gelato, WAFFLES! OMG SOMEONE CAPTURE THIS BEAUTIFUL MOMENT FOR ME!” *sobs*

Wonwoo: *snaps a photo*

The8: *takes a whiff*

The8: “Some of these don’t seem that fresh….”

Mingyu: “Shut it Minghao how can you insult such beauty in this sacred place”

Scoups: *reaches out to take some seasoned beef from buffet counter*

Joshua: *shoves coups*

Scoups: *moves away from Joshua to take some japchae*

Joshua: *shoves coups again*

Scoups: “Stop shoving me will you Hong Jisoo!!”

DK: “Well someone please take the salt shaker away from Joshua because someone’s salty about life”

Woozi: “No Seokmin…. no….”

Jeonghan: “Boys, I know the both of you are crazy about me but am I really worth ruining your friendship because of me? Who am I kidding, of course I am”

DK: “Well someone please pass Jeonghan a mirror because he needs a reality check”

Woozi: “Please just stop trying”

Wonwoo: “Mingyu can you help me take that?” *points to eggrolls*

Mingyu: “No why would I?”

Mingyu: *takes a mountain of eggrolls for himself*

Wonwoo: “Oh right…. The dream’s not real” *cries*

Hoshi: “Jihoonie would you like some bacon and scrambled eggs?”

Woozi: “I can get them myself”

DK: “Would you be able to reach them tho”

Woozi: “Don’t test my patience Seokmin”

Scoups: “Wait if we are all here who’s at our table?”

Jeonghan: “Chan is, I’m sure he’ll be fine”

*meanwhile at table one*

Dino: *attempts to cut the belt of the baby seat with a plastic knife*

Dino: “PSSSTTT HANSOL!”

Vernon: “What?”

Dino: “Help me get out of this baby trap”

Vernon: “Why would you want to get out?”

Dino: “Didn’t you say you want to swap seats?”

Vernon: “I did but won’t Jeonghan hyung be mad?”

Dino: “Nah he’ll be too preoccupied with the two idiots fawning over him to notice”

Vernon: “Okay… if you say so”

*table two*

The8: “I know you said you’d take a lot of food but this is just too much”

Mingyu: “Yes thank you, put it over here please”

Waiters: *carrying 100 plates over*

Jun: “The tall thing is taking up our side of our table!”

Mingyu: “This is only round one”

Wonwoo: “If you can’t finish it, you have to pay for the food wastage”

Mingyu: “Are you three doubting me?!”

The8: “Can’t we just go to the Chinese restaurant across the street?”

Jun: “We can try to make a run for it”

The8: “Alright we’ll make a dash for it in 1…. 2…. 3… RUN!”

Jun & The8: *runs out of restaurant*

Wonwoo: “Um Mingyu… do you remember anything about lemonades or pancakes or anything at all?”

Mingyu: *finishes 30 plates worth of food*

Mingyu: “No why? Oh no did I get drunk and talked about food again? I really need to fix my drinking habits”

Wonwoo: “Never mind pretend I didn’t ask”

Mingyu: “Are you finishing your pancakes?”

Wonwoo: “Why? Are you gonna get me more Mingyu?”

Mingyu: “What? No, I want to eat it if you can’t finish them”

Wonwoo: “Oh”

*table three*

Hoshi: “You got a little something on your lips Woozi”

Woozi: “Where?”

Hoshi: *cleans it with a tissue*

Dino: “Chan’s eyes…. chan’s eyes…. it needs to be cleansed”

Woozi: “dOn’T toUcH mEH”

Seungkwan: “What are you doing here?”

Dino: “I switched seats with Vernon hyung but honestly this seat is kind of bad too”

Seungkwan: “Excuse you but this is the best table because I am here”

Dino: “I know why Vernon was so willing to switch with me….”

Dino: “I want my fries….”

Seungkwan: “You’re not having mine”

*table one*

Jeonghan: *eats a mouth of the jjamppong*

Jeonghan: “This tastes way better than any of the crap you’ve ever cooked for me Seungcheol”

Scoups: “Let me see you try cooking then!”

Joshua: “See Hannie, if you were with me, you’d eat good food everyday”

Scoups: “Like you can cook Joshua”

Joshua: “Who said anything about cooking? I’m talking about bringing Jeonghan out to eat at restaurants”

Jeonghan: “Ohhh fancy! I like the sound of that!”

Vernon: “Dino was right, Jeonghan’s so busy that he didn’t even realise his beloved child is missing”

DK: “He wouldn’t even know if we stole all of his food from his plate”

Scoups: “Do you think money is so easily earned?! It’s not! What about eating with family? What about home-cooked meals?”

Joshua: “What’s the point if the home-cooked meal gives you food poisoning?”

Scoups: “WHEN DID MY FOOD GIVE ANYONE FOOD POISIONING?!?!”

Vernon: “Guys….”

Joshua: “It’s like you have short-term memory, when we first met you cooked porridge for Hannie and he couldn’t stop vomiting for a month”

Scoups: “It helped him lose weight!”

Jeonghan: “Well… I did manage to fit into size XS after that”

Joshua: “DOES NO ONE ELSE CARES ABOUT JEONGHAN’S HEALTH?”

Scoups: “HEALTH? IF YOU ARE SO CONCERNED ABOUT HIS HEALTH WHY ARE YOU SUGGESTING TO BRING HIM TO EAT OUTSIDE WHERE ALL THE FOOD ARE FLAVOURED BY MSG?!!!”

Waiter: “Sorry what did you say?”

DK: “What team are you rooting for? I’m in #TeamCoups”

Woozi: “Is this really the time to be in teams?”

Scoups: “IF YOU ARE WITH JOSHUA HE IS GOING TO FEED YOU WITH ALL OF THE CRAP LIKE THIS THAT MAKES YOUR HAIR FALL OUT”

Jeonghan: *gasp*

Waiter: “Did you say crap?”

Joshua: “YOU HAD TO MENTION THE HAIR DIDN’T YOU”

Hoshi: “I’ll be whatever team you choose Woozi”

Woozi: “Well I’m not gonna pick sides”

Hoshi: “Okay so I’m on #TeamWoozi”

Scoups: “YES THIS CRAP THAT JOSHUA IS FEEDING YOU WILL MAKE YOU BALD”

Joshua: “OH NO YOU DID NOT SAY THAT COUPSTASTU”

Scoups: “IF INTERVIEWERS ASK YOU WHAT YOU SEE YOURSELF IN 5 YEARS YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND SAY BALD”

Jeonghan: “My hair….”

Vernon: “Does anyone see the look in Joshua hyung’s eyes? He looks like he is about to pounce and tackle someone”

Scoups: “BRING IT ON HONG JISOO”

Joshua: *hits coups with a chicken drumstick*

Scoups: “WHAT ARE YOU, A CAVEMAN? BE A MAN AND USE YOUR FISTS!”

Waiter: “EXCUSE ME PLEASE DO NOT PLAY WITH THE FOOD”

Joshua: *throws dumplings*

Waiter: “SIR!”

Joshua: “I’M NOT PLAYING WITH FOOD! HOW CAN YOU CALL THESE HEAVILY MSG SEASONED THINGS, FOOD??”

Scoups: “SO YOU ADMIT YOU’RE FEEDING JEONGHAN WITH MSG!”

Waiter: “I’d like for all of you to please leave our restaurant premises”

Mingyu: “But I’m not done yet!”

Waiter: “GET OUT! ALL OF YOU GET OUT!!!”

Mingyu: “My FOOD! YOU CAN’T CHASE ME OUT FROM THIS HEAVEN!”

Vernon: “Yes he can, you idiot”

Mingyu: “Look I still have my voucher! I’m an entitled customer!!!”

Waiter: *rips voucher into half*

Mingyu:

Waiter: “Oh well… now you’re not. Get out”

Mingyu: *breaks down*

*meanwhile at the Chinese restaurant*

Jun: “Ahhhh how nice”

The8: “Silence and peace, tranquillity…”

Jun: “Would you like more green tea Mr Xu?”

The8: “Yes if you do not mind, Mr Wen”

Waitress: “Is there anything else that you’d like?”

The8: “Yes, to stay here forever away from the obnoxious members”

Jun: “and also your phone number”

Waitress:

Waitress: “I’ll get you more green tea”

masterlist ✨

Episode Eight: Where Seventeen is about to head for the buffet restaurant but Wonwoo decides to take his revenge on Mingyu.

*at the dorm*

Joshua: “Wait where’s Mingyu?”

Hoshi: “Hmmmm I saw him wake up at 5am to get ready though…”

Jun: “Lemme guess he’s already at the buffet and probably cleared out all the food there?”

Scoups: “Nice guess Jun but his voucher is still with me…”

Woozi: “I think he’s in the toilet making space for the food”

Vernon: “Nasty”

Jeonghan: “So that’s where the smell was coming from, I thought it was the smell of my hair rotting but then again what are the chances right?”

Wonwoo: “I can wait for him….”

Scoups: “Okay then, we’ll go first and meet you two there, here’s your voucher and Mingyu’s”

Wonwoo: “Okie”

Mingyu: “Hey where’s everyone?”

Wonwoo: “They left first”

Mingyu:

Mingyu: “MY BUFFET VOUCHERRRR!!!!”

Wonwoo: “Oh… do you mean… THIS?” *waves voucher in the air*

Mingyu: *eyes sparkle*

Mingyu: “Yay Wonwoo you are the best! Did I ever tell you that you’re my favourite person in Seventeen?” *jumps to snatch it*

Wonwoo: *pulls it away*

Mingyu: *flops onto cold floor*

Mingyu: “HEY WHAT GIVES!”

Wonwoo: “If you want this voucher you have to work for it”

Mingyu: “NO WAY I AM GONNA-“

Wonwoo: “Hmmmmmm I starting to feel a little thirsty, how nice would it be to have a glass of lemonade right now?”

Mingyu: *runs into kitchen*

Mingyu: *pours lemonade into a glass*

Mingyu: “Here you go”

Wonwoo: “I want it freshly made”

Mingyu: “WHAT?! You could’ve told me earlier!”

Wonwoo: “I guess I’ll just give this voucher to someone else then….”

Mingyu: *DASHES INTO KITCHEN AND SQUEEZES FIVE LEMONS*

Wonwoo: “Hmmmm not bad, could use a little sugar though”

Mingyu: *grabs sugar and adds a teaspoon*

Wonwoo: “Sigh the lemonade is making my stomach growl a little…. Maybe some Korean pancakes would make me feel better…”

Mingyu: “ORRRR we could always just go to the buffet!”

Wonwoo: “Maybe I should just go to the buffet by myself then…”

Mingyu: “Did you say Korean pancake? How many do you want?”

Mingyu: *runs into kitchen*

Mingyu: “Here you go Wonwoo”

Wonwoo: “Master Wonwoo”

Mingyu:

Wonwoo: *stands up*

Mingyu: “OKAY FINE!”

Wonwoo: *sits down*

Mingyu: “Ma-ma-master Won-Won-Wonwoo…” *sighs*

Wonwoo: “Now let’s taste it”

Wonwoo: *takes a bite and spits it out*

Mingyu: “What? Is it not to your liking M-m-master Wo-Wonwoo”

Wonwoo: “At first I was feeling a little bad for doing this but after eating this I remembered why I decided to take revenge on you”

Mingyu: “But I secretly ate- I mean I was doing a taste test and it was fine!”

Wonwoo: “What do you think is wrong with it?”

Mingyu: “Nothing?”

Wonwoo: “Think harder”

Mingyu: “You want it to be crispier?”

Wonwoo: *shakes head*

Mingyu: “You don’t eat spring onions?”

Wonwoo: “No”

Mingyu: “You….. you….. want Korean chili paste?”

Wonwoo:

Mingyu: “Then what?”

Wonwoo: “I DON’T EAT SEAFOODDDDD MINGYU!!!”

Mingyu: “Oh really? Since when?”

Wonwoo:

Wonwoo: *gets up*

Mingyu: “ALRIGHT ALRIGHT I’M SORRY I’LL TAKE THE SEAFOOD OUT ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?”

Wonwoo: “I want to watch the TV”

Mingyu: *turns it on*

Wonwoo: “Now what was it that you said before? Who was your favourite person again?”

Mingyu: “Not you”

Wonwoo: “What did you say?!”

Mingyu: “Wonwoo”

Wonwoo: “In a sentence please” *turns on phone recorder*

Mingyu: “Wonwoo is my favourite person in Seventeen”

Wonwoo: “What’s your favourite thing about me?”

Mingyu: “Do I really have to?”

Wonwoo: “I mean if you don’t want your buffet voucher, then it’s fine by me”

Mingyu: “My favourite thing about Wonwoo is his….. his…..”

Wonwoo: *glares*

Mingyu: “Rap?”

Wonwoo: “and”

Mingyu: “His sense of style?”

Wonwoo: “Not exactly the most convincing but it’ll do”

Mingyu: TT

Wonwoo: “My arms are aching lately…. Maybe I’ve been practising too hard”

Mingyu: *massages wonwoo’s shoulders immediately*

Wonwoo: “I said arms”

Mingyu: *massages wonwoo’s arms*

Wonwoo: “Now sing”

Mingyu:

Wonwoo: “SING!”

Mingyu: “E-ev-everyday bo-boom boom?”

Wonwoo: “Different song”

Mingyu: “Errrrr”

Wonwoo: *gets up*

Mingyu: “Yeahh, I check in Seoul City”

Wonwoo: “A soft song”

Mingyu: *cries*

Mingyu: “I just want it simpleeeee”

Wonwoo: “I changed my mind, I want a cute song”

Mingyu: “I… I’m a little teapot, short and stout”

Wonwoo: “Don’t lie you’re tall”

Mingyu: “If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands?”

Hoshi: “WAKE UPPPPP!”

Wonwoo: *wakes up*

Wonwoo: “What’s happening? Where’s Mingyu? Where’s my pancake?”

DK: “What are you talking about? Mingyu’s sleeping and there is no pancake”

Seungkwan: “Oh ladiessss, this is your storyyyy IJE WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE WAKE UP!”

Vernon: “Shut up kwan he’s already awake!”

Seungkwan: “You’re just salty cause you aren’t as faboolous as me” *struts away*

Dino: “Anyways hyung, you were… clapping your hands in your sleep?”

Wonwoo: “I was what?”

DK: “Did you dream of something that made you happy?”

Wonwoo: “Secret”

Mingyu: “I heard pancake, where’s the pancake?”

The8: “Dude there’s no pancake, what’s up with you guys and the pancake?”

Mingyu: “Awwww boooooo”

Seungkwan: “Yeah yeah, boo boo I loser”

Wonwoo: “Well… it was nice while it lasted”

Hoshi: “What was nice?”

masterlist ✨

Episode Seven: Where Seventeen visits the pet shop and Mingyu kidnaps a puppy

*at the dorm*

Joshua: “Hey Vernon can you listen to this song I came up with and tell me if it’s good?” *strums guitar*

Vernon: “HAHAHAHAHA”

Joshua: “What’s so funny?”

Vernon:

Joshua: “Hello?”

Seungkwan: “What are you watching?”

Vernon: “Oh hey kwan, look at this gif of this cat running into a box but it was too fat so its head got stuck HAHAHAHHA”

Joshua: “Did you just ignore me?”

Vernon: “Joshua, can you move your guitar so Seungkwan can sit?”

Joshua: *moves it reluctantly*

Joshua: “That phone’s got to go”

DK: “We should go to the pet shop, that day I was walking back to the dorm and a cute puppy toppled over because it fell asleep”

Mingyu: “Mingyu wants to see puppies!”

Jun: “That’s a surprise to say you want something else other than food” surprise

The8: “He’s going to ask for food the moment we step into the store”

Scoups: “Okay then we should go take a look, it’ll be nice to have a stress-free experience for once”

Woozi: “I wouldn’t be so quick to say it’s stress-free if I were you”

*at the pet shop*

Hoshi: “This hamster is me and I am the hamster”

Woozi: “Why would you be the hamster?”

Hoshi: “It is squishy and it is cute! Like me!”

Hamster: *Sqeak!*

Woozi: “Stop staring at it like that you’re scaring it with your face”

Hoshi: “Doesn’t it look like me Jihoonie?”

Woozi: “What an insult to the hamster”

Woozi: *walks away*

Mingyu: “Can we get a puppy? It’s so white and fluffy and I just want to cuddle with it AHHHHHHH”

Scoups: “WHAT? NO”

Mingyu: “WHY?!?!”

Scoups: “Because you can’t even take care of yourself and I’ll end up taking care of it! I already have 11 children excluding Jeonghan and if I add the puppy in and if the puppy has children…. I AM GOING TO LOSE MY MINDDDD”

Wonwoo: “If I had a puppy I’d name it Gyu”

Jun: “Gyu? You mean Jun?”

Wonwoo: “No I mean Gyu”

Mingyu: “But its staring at me like it’s saying ‘Take me home with you!’”

The8: “What on earth would you want a puppy for Mingyu? It’s not like you can eat it or anything”

Mingyu:

The8: “Mingyu?”

Mingyu:

The8: “OMG YOU KNOW YOU CAN’T EAT PUPPIES RIGHT?!?!”

Mingyu: “I know!”

The8: “YOU’RE GONNA EAT THE PUPPY HOLYMOLEY”

Mingyu: “I’M NOT!!!” *frowns*

Scoups: “Question… If you all have children in the future… will I have to take care of them too?!?!”

DK: “Most probably”

Scoups:

DK: “What?”

Jun: “But Wonwoo if you name it Gyu, and if it’s going to be anything like Mingyu, all the puppy is going to do is bark for food 24/7, sneeze, sleep and jump on your bed until you give it more food”

Wonwoo: “But that’s so cute!” every mingyu stan

Scoups: “13 members times 1 children each is 13 grandchildren, plus 12 existing members excluding myself is 25, plus the puppy and it’s children-“

Mingyu: “But what if I want 10 kids hyung?”

Wonwoo: *blushes*

Hoshi: “Soonyoung wants 35”

Woozi: *chokes*

Woozi: “Not with me you’re not, I’m not having any kids with you”

Hoshi: “It’s a little early to be having this conversation but…. we don’t need to have kids to have a happy marriage” *clings onto woozi*

Woozi: “D-did you say marriage?!”

Scoups: *mumbles* “13 times 10 children each is 130 grandchildren plus 12 plus 1 puppy plus 10 baby puppies is….” mental breakdown

Scoups: “151?!”

DK: “Isn’t that Woozi’s height?”

Woozi: *clenches fist*

DK: “Bye I shall take my leave now”

Dino: “Chan wants a Dinosaur for a pet”

Jeonghan: “No sweetie, dinosaurs are extinct”

Dino: “What does extinct mean?”

Jeonghan: “Um…. Hmmm how should I tell you without scaring you.…”

Seungkwan: “It means they DIED, POOF gone, KABOOM, ALL OF THEM DEAD BOOMM” *makes dying noises*

Dino: “They…. They….. died?” *cries*

Jeonghan: “It’s okay sweetie, even if they weren’t gone, it’s too dangerous to keep one anyways”

Dino: “Why is it dangerous?”

Seungkwan: “That’s because they have sharp RAZOR set of teeth that will LUNGE and RIP YOUR PUNY LITTLE HEAD OFF YOUR SMALL BODY AT THEIR FIRST GLANCE OF YOU LIL’ CHAN” *angelic smile*

Dino: *traumatised*

Jeonghan: “Thanks Seungkwan, that was SO helpful”

Seungkwan: “You are very welcome” *flips hair*

Mingyu: “Mingyu still wants that puppy”

Scoups: “I already told you, no”

Mingyu: “But I already named the puppy!”

Vernon: “What did you name it?”

Mingyu: “Cheetos”

Vernon: “YOU NAMED IT AFTER A PACK OF CHIPS?”

Mingyu: “It was the most delicious pack of chips I’ve ever eaten, what would you know about high-end food Hansol?”

Vernon: “One, I’ve tried Cheetos. Two, Cheetos are not high-end they only cost like six to seven bucks for the giant pack”

Scoups: “Okay whatever it is, I didn’t ask you to name that puppy”

Mingyu: “I can’t let the puppy go!” *hugs puppy*

Scoups: “Well, let it go now”

Mingyu: “Don’t listen to that grumpy old man Cheetos, he is an animal hater!”

Scoups: “Wha- Grumpy old man?! Who are you calling old???”

Seungkwan: “Don’t forget grumpy”

Scoups: “Is this what I get for raising you all? You guys are awful kids how could you call me OLDDDD!!!”

Vernon: “No offense hyung but you’re kinda old”

Scoups:

Vernon: “What? I said no offense…”

*back at the dorm*

Scoups: “Alright guys, I’m gonna go shower first, let’s have a team meeting after this”

Mingyu: *takes Cheetos out from under his shirt*

Mingyu: “Welcome home Cheetos!”

Cheetos: “Woof!”

Wonwoo: “Is that what I think it is?”

Cheetos: “Woof!” *runs into the wall and whimpers*

Jun: “Wow… it’s exactly like his owner”

Wonwoo: “Cute?”

The8: “I will not question your taste”

Jun: “I mean ‘not-so-smart’ but whatever floats your boat my dear Wonwoo”

Dino: “Did you kidnap the puppy hyung? That’s illegal!”

Seungkwan: “Coups hyung is going to freak out”

Mingyu: “Oh hush Divaboo, Coups hyung will never find out if we all keep it a secret”

Vernon: “How are we going to keep this a secret? It barks every 3 seconds”

Jeonghan: “I’m so telling on you guys” *crosses arm*

Mingyu: “Jeonghan hyung don’t be such a party pooper”

Cheetos: *poops*

Jeonghan: “I believe your puppy’s the one who is pooping”

Hoshi: “Imagine if it’s poop is shaped like cheetos though”

Joshua: “Please put that thought back from where it came from” 

The8: “Oh god I’m not cleaning after it”

Seungkwan: “Please control your fluffy thing Mingyu”

Mingyu: “Bad puppy!”

Cheetos: “Woof?” 

Woozi: “I heard barking” *walks into the room*

Woozi: “ANDDDDD IM OUT”

Hoshi: “Come back Jihoon we haven’t finished discussing our marriage!” *runs after woozi*

Woozi: “Tell him where I am and you die, got it?”

DK: *nods head*

Woozi: *hides in seokmin’s closet*

Hoshi: “Woozi…. Woozi? Where are you my love?”

Hoshi: “Hey DK have you seen my Woozi?”

DK: “Um….” *breaks into cold sweat*

DK: “Huh? Who? Oh you mean that short dude?” *shifts eyes from side to side*

Hoshi: “How many Woozi’s do you know?”

DK: “Um... I have no clue where he is but, I um…. definitely know that he isn’t in my closet that’s for sure!”

Woozi: *facepalms*

Mingyu: “Try this boy, it’s Cheetos!”

Jun: “What the heck Mingyu! Are you trying to turn it into a cannibal?”

Vernon: “Technically it’s needs to be dog meat for it to be a cannibal”

Cheetos: *nibbles and pukes*

Seungkwan: “I’m guessing it hates it”

Cheetos: *runs out into the living room*

Cheetos: *bites on the sofa and the cushions*

Wonwoo: “Um Mingyu…..”

Mingyu: “Woah boy, not the cushions”

Cheetos: *rips the cushions and sofa apart*

Dino: “That was my favourite cushion….”

Scoups: *comes out from shower*

Scoups: “Hey guys is it me or do I hear-“

Seventeen: …

Scoups: “HOLY SMOKES WHAT THE HELL MINGYU!”

Mingyu: “Why do you have to always assume that it’s me?? It could be Seokmin or Seungkwan!”

Scoups: “Because I just know it”

DK: “I am such a good child, I don’t know what you’re talking about”

Woozi: “Now that’s just pushing it a little too far”

Scoups: “I don’t care what you say Mingyu, you kidnapped the little puppy from the store! We are returning him tomorrow”

The8: “I can start writing a list of your crimes and it’s enough to put you behind bars”

Mingyu: “Not helping Minghao....”

Scoups: “Look at our living room! It’s a mess! And what is that smell? Do I even want to know?”

Mingyu: *hugs puppy* “Goodbye my bag of chips”

Vernon: “Hey wait a minute guys did you see my phone? DID I LEAVE IT AT THE PET SHOP??”

Jeonghan: “Phone? Oh is it the thing that Cheetos’ is gnawing on?”

Vernon: *shooked*

Vernon: “CHEETOS NO! BAD DOGGIE!”

Joshua: *internal evil laughs*

Vernon: “Dammit it’s gone…. First my Macbook now my phone…. WHY WORLD WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO AN INNOCENT CHILD????”

Joshua: “Good puppy” *pats head*

masterlist ✨

Episode Six: Seventeen visits the bank but encountered a robber.

Jeonghan: "Finally my baby dino is old enough to open his own personal bank account"

Dino: "How many times do I have to tell you hyung, I'm 18"

Jeonghan: "Hello miss, my son here would like to register his first bank account"

Dino: "I have like 3 bank accounts hyung I do not need another one"

Jun: "Are you going to start an account too Wonwoo?"

Wonwoo: "Nope, I already have one"

Jun: "Then? are you going to put money into your account?"

Wonwoo: "I don't have any savings, I spent it all of it last week on that haircut remember?"

Jun: "Then why did you bring your bank book with you?"

Wonwoo: "Mingyu told me not to tell you"

Jun: "Mingyu?! What did the tall thing tell you!"

Wonwoo: ....

Jun: ...

Wonwoo: "Okay fine. Mingyu told me to withdraw money from my account to buy him more food"

Jun: "He did what now?"

Mingyu: "I said not to tell him Wonwoo..."

Jun: "Stop using Wonwoo's hard earned money to buy snacks! you have like 10 boxes of chips that haven't been opened"

Mingyu: "One can never have too many snacks Jun"

Wonwoo: "So... do I withdraw the money or not?" 

Jun: "No"

Mingyu: "YES!"

Jun: "Why can't you use your own money?"

Wonwoo: "Cause he has no money in his account?"

Mingyu: "thanks a lot wonwoo"

Jun: "You don't even have a single cent in your account?"

Mingyu: "It was well spent!"

Jun: "It was on food wasn't it?"

*gunshots*

Robber: "Put the money in the duffel bag now, the rest of you get down and put your hands up where I can see them!"

Seungkwan: "I'm too young and fabulous to die!"

Joshua: "In the holy name I pray, please protect us dear lord"

Hoshi: *puts hands up* "Mansae-"

Robber: "Who the hell said that?! If any of you make a sound and I'll put a bullet through your head"

DK: "Just a clarification though Mr Scary Robber, are you going to cut open my head with a scalpel and put the bullet in or-?" 

The8: "Seokmin, now's not a good time to be curious"

Robber: *puts gun at dk's temple* "Do you want to find out?"

Woozi: "Well good riddance"

DK: "Honestly?" 

Robber: "Yes, strange horse-looking boy"

The8: "Are you serious right now?"

Hoshi: "Must. Fight. Temptation. To. Dance. To. Mansae. GAHHHHH"

Scoups: "Hosh. NO"

DK: "In all honesty, I actually really want to know though" *smiles*

Robber: "Okay, I'll grant you your wish and let you find out"

DK: "I didn't wish for it but alrighty!”

Robber: *pulls trigger* 

Scoups: "Alright! Hold up! Hold up! Sorry Mr robber-nim, please just ignore him, he's my child and he is a little... you know" *circles finger around his head*

DK: "What does that mean?”

DK: “Are you implying that I'm crazy?!"

Scoups: “Omg Seokmin...”

Seungkwan: "Yeah Dorkyeom, he's calling you crazy" divaboo alert

Vernon: "Not now kwan... bad timing to be sassy" 

Hoshi: "Must. Contain. The. Need. To. Swing. Arms. In. The. Air."

Seungkwan: "What? I'm just stating a fact, we were all thinking it, I'm just saying what everyone else was thinking out loud!"

Vernon: "Divaboo tone it down will ya?"

DK: "You want to know what crazy is? I'll show you crazy!" 

DK: *gets up from floor and starts doing his horse dance while screaming*

Seungkwan: "I can do better than that" 

Seungkwan: *takes something from the floor as a microphone and starts singing and dancing like it’s his solo debut*

Robber: "What is this situation?" 

DK: *scREAms*

Seungkwan: *starts high note battle*

Joshua: "VOCAL TEAM HIGH NOTE BATTLE!"

Jeonghan: *screams from over the counter*

Woozi: *screams a note so high that it made the robber drop his gun*

Robber: "What in god’s name was that?!"

Hoshi: "MANSAE MANSAE MANSAE YEH MANSAE MANSAE MANSAE YEHHH *does mansae choreography* 

Jun: “MOVE IT HOSH! I’M IN THE CENTER!”

Jun: *hits robber in the eye as he swings his arms*

Robber: “OW!!! WHAT THE HECK THAT WAS MY EYE!!!”

Jun: “Sorry?”

Jeonghan: *giraffe mode on*

The8: *dabbing mode on* stop Minghao 2017

Dino: *Michael chanson mode on*

Wonwoo: *gives deep stare to robber*

Robber: "AHHHHH what is this noise? What is this stare... it makes me feel somewhat emotionally detached...?? it makes me reflect about the despicable life I'm living...”

Robber: “Why are so many children dancing about?! OMG are they multiplying?!?! How many are there? 10? 20? 30?!!" *collapses*

The Po-Po: "You have the right to remain silent, whatever you say may be used against you in court" *handcuffs the robber*

Robber: *still counting*

The Po-Po: "Well done kids, I don't know how you did it, we've been trying to catch this robber for a year now" 

Scoups: "Oh well, my kids just did whatever they usually do at home… and also in every public place known to man-kind, so don't worry too much about it Mr Officer" 

The Po-Po: "You guys make a good squad, maybe after your career ends you guys can join the police force, we'll call you squad number 17" 

Dino: "Woahhh I always wanted to be a police officer hyung! I can have guns and shoot people-" *pew pew*

Jeonghan: “No! Gun’s are too dangerous for toddlers!”

The Po-Po: "As a reward, here's some vouchers to a buffet, please accept it and enjoy your day"

Wonwoo: “I know someone who would be very happy to accept it” *glances over at Mingyu who is currently stuffing free mints into his pockets*

Mingyu: *whispers* “Wonwoo can I borrow your pocket?”

Woozi: “I have an idea, if you want an eternal endless supply of mints, why don’t you just take that empty cardboard box there and sit in it and stay there?” 

The Po-Po: “Thanks once again boys!”

Scoups: “No, I should be the one thanking you police officer, with this buffet vouchers I saved almost $130 on expenses for their food!”

The8: “Actually Sir can I have your number, I have something important to discuss with you about, it’s regarding a boy named Kim Mingy-“

Scoups: *covers Minghao’s mouth*

masterlist ✨

Episode Five: Where Seventeen goes to the Hair Salon to get ready for their comeback after Self-proclaimed Hair Stylist Mingyu had a dream about Cheetos.

Vernon: "Someone tell me why we are going to a hair salon again?"

Jun: "ask that tall thing"

Mingyu: "I swear I have a vision for our new concept, we will have our hair styled up like bad boys and wear jackets, we'll look so cool!"

Dino: "Chan’s in! Chan wants to look mature and steal the heart of our carats! Maybe I’ll finally get a girlfriend and we’ll live happily ever after"

Jeonghan: "No dino, you're a baby, I didn't raise you to become a bad boy let alone date someone"

Dino: “You know that Chan needs a girlfriend to get married sooner or later…”

Jeonghan: “Unless the option ‘never’ is available, if not I pick later”

Dino: “Wha- unbelievable “

Mingyu: "Okay, so here's the thing, I had a dream last night about Cheetos and I was inspired for my new hairstyle"

Scoups: "No Mingyu, omg please don't tell me you-"

Mingyu: "I dyed my hair orange! Like Cheetos!"

Mingyu: *pulls cap off his head*

Scoups: "Oh god please tell me it’s not permanent"

Mingyu: "why? is it bad?"

Scoups: "Well.... if you look at it from an artistic point of view from the left it kinda looks bett- no.... maybe if I tilt my head to the right it will look nice- nope, no it still looks bad…. like.... REALLY BAD"

Mingyu: “What would you know about art?” *folds arms*

Scoups: “I know enough to know that the bright orange is blinding my eyes”

Mingyu: *puts cap back on*

Mingyu: "Mingyu regrets nothing"

DK: “Imagine if we ever go to America, the salons there will be so cool! If we ever go to LA or New York, let’s go do our hair there”

Joshua: “Why?”

DK: “There will be professional hair stylists and everything!”

Joshua: “Not to burst your bubble or anything but do you by chance think that your hair will be styled by celebrity hair stylists or something?”

DK: “What… am I wrong?”

Joshua: “I have nothing to say to you”

DK: “How about Jeju then? Do they even have salons like this in Jeju?”

Seungkwan: “They obviously do”

DK: “But isn’t Jeju all trees and stuff?”

Seungkwan: “Omg I live in Jeju not a freaking countryside, what do you think people do when they want to get their hair cut?!?!”

DK: “How about China- “

Jun: “Don’t even try asking dokyeom”

Wonwoo: "Ohh Mingyuu~ does my hair look nice?" *skips over to Mingyu*

Mingyu: "yes of course, I chose it!" *flips cheetos hair*

Wonwoo: *heart flutters from compliment* 

Mingyu: "Now go to the cashier and pay"

Wonwoo: "Okey dokey~" *skips*

Cashier: "That'll be $215.00, would you like to pay by cash or card?"

Wonwoo: "..."

Cashier: "Sir?"

Wonwoo: “But I only trimmed my hair, I didn’t even dye it or do any hair treatments, there must be some sort of mistake”

Cashier: “Oh yeah, there was a mistake, my bad... Your friend chose for you the ‘Short but not too Short’ hair style featured in the 2016 Fall New York Fashion Week by MJ”

Dino: “Michael Jackson?”

Vernon: “No man, Marc Jacobs”

Dino: “Don’t jUdGe mEh”

Cashier: “That’ll be $1,570.00 in total”

Wonwoo: "ASHJKAGCNSIZDJQLZXKJSK KIM MINGYUUUUU"

Jeonghan: "I swear Mingyu, if you cut my hair even shorter than it already is, I will personally rip your head off"

Woozi: “I swear if you dye my hair a shade lighter than charcoal black, I will decrease your lines from one to none and I will personally see to it that the cause of your death is by a guitar swing to your head”

Mingyu: O.O 

Mingyu: "I don't think you two should look in the mirror then" *runs for dear lyfe*

Wonwoo: *cries*

Hoshi: “Why, what’s wrong do you not like your hair?”

Wonwoo: “No… but I paid over a thousand bucks for this dumb hair style”

The8: “Even I can cut that hair style at home…”

The8: “For free”

Hoshi: “Minghao… it’s the holidays cut him some slack”

The8: “Savagehao doesn’t rest, even for the holidays”

Jun: “Well I blame coups for letting Mingyu go to the convenience store for that cheetos”

The8: “Don’t ReMinD MEH”

Wonwoo: “I HATE MINGYU”

The8: “If it makes you feel better any better, I hate Mingyu too”

Hoshi: “Does that even console you?”

Wonwoo: “It- “

Hoshi: “Hold that thought, I feel like peeing”

Woozi: “Not this again Soonyoung, I told you to stop telling people that you need to pee in public”

Hoshi: “I know but- “

Woozi: “Do you feel no shame?” probably not

Hoshi: “I love you Woozi and I mean I love you A WHOLE LOT, but I have to tell you that shame is not a registered word in Kwon Soonyoung’s dictionary, now someone tell me where the toilet is or I’m gonna pee my pants”

Woozi: “Every day I regret not auditioning at another entertainment…”

Hair Stylist: “There’s one but it’s 7.5 kilometres away from here, by the super mart”

Hoshi: “Stylist-nim you say what now?”

Wonwoo: “Ohhh I like that super mart, I heard they sell special edition books there! Hoshi can you buy me the hard cover version of Me Before You?”

Hoshi: “In T-minus 5, Hoshi’s gonna blow”

Jun: “Five as in 5 minutes or-?”

Hoshi: “As in 5 seconds JUN!”

Woozi: “When my mum asked me why I picked Pledis when there were so many other entertainments around, I told her it was the nearest to my school so I could sleep in for an additional 10 minutes. I knew I should’ve listened to her and been less lazy and joined another company…”

Hoshi: “OKAY OKAY HOSHI IS NOT GONNA MAKE IT! DO YOU HAVE A PLASTIC BOTTLE???!!!”

Woozi: “Should’ve listened to her…. this isn’t worth those precious 10 minutes of sleep” 

Wonwoo: “But I want my book…” *pouts*

The8: “Here’s a bottle hyung”

Hoshi: “THANKS MINGHAO” *runs off to somewhere no one can see him*

Wonwoo: “That bottle…. looks oddly familiar…”

The8: “It’s Mingyu’s” *evil smirk*

The8: “I almost went to jail that day because of that idiot”

Jun: “This is why, Minghao you are my favourite… and then of course its Wonwoo”

The8: “This is only part one of my revenge plot against Mingyu”

Wonwoo: *gasp*

Hoshi: “All done!” *passes bottle back to Minghao*

The8: “OH MINGYUUU~” 

What happens next is up to your own imagination

masterlist ✨

Episode Four: Where Seventeen visits the convenience store because of someone’s hunger.

Mingyu: “Wonwoo~”

Wonwoo:

Mingyu: “Wonwoo~”

Wonwoo:

Mingyu: “WONWOO!!!”

Wonwoo: *jumps up from bed in shock* “What now?”

Mingyu: “I’m hungry” *smiles*

Wonwoo: “You’ve got to be kidding me”

Mingyu: “Minghao”

The8: “Shut up and go back to bed”

Mingyu: “No wake up!”

The8: “Go bother someone else”

Mingyu: “I’m hungry let’s go to the convenience store”

The8: “Ask someone else like Wonwoo”

Mingyu: “I did and he didn’t want to”

The8: “Obviously he wouldn’t IT’S 4AM YOU IDIOT”

Mingyu: “FINE you all leave me with no choice then…” *leaves room*

The8: “Finally thank god”

Mingyu: *takes a sip of water*

Mingyu: *clears throat*

Mingyu: “FIREEEEEEEEEEEE!!! FIREEEEEEEEEEE!!! WAKE UP EVERYONE THERE’S A FIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!”

Mingyu: “COUPS HYUNG YOUR CHILDREN ARE ON FIREEEEE”

Mingyu: “JEONGHAN HYUNG YOUR HAIR IS ON FIREEEEE”

Mingyu: “WOOZI HYUNG YOUR STUDIO IS ON FIREEEEEEEE”

Mingyu: “CHAN YOUR MICHAEL JACKSON ALBUMS ARE ON FIREEEEEEE”

Mingyu: “VERNON YOUR MACBOOK IS ON FIREEEEEEE”

Mingyu: “HOSHI HYUNG WOOZI IS ON FIREEEEEEE”

Mingyu: “JOSHUA HYUNG YOUR GUITARS ARE ON FIREEEEEE”

Mingyu: “WONWOO YOUR BEANIE COLLECTION IS ON FIREEEEEE”

Mingyu: “JUN YOUR PASSPORT BACK TO CHINA IS ON FIREEEEEEE”

Mingyu: “SEUNGKWAN JEJU IS ON FIREEEEEEEEE”

Mingyu: “SEOKMIN DONKEY KONG IS ON FIREEEEEEE”

Mingyu: “MINGHAO MINGYU IS ON FIREEEEEEEEEEEEE”

Mingyu: *takes a seat on the sofa and waits patiently*

Seventeen: *runs into the living room*

Scoups: “MY CHILDREN ARE YOU ALL ALRIGHT?!”

Jeonghan: “AM I- AM I BALDDDD???! No wait don’t tell me I don’t want to know” *cries*

Dino: “MICHAEL JACKSON MY SPECIAL EDITION ALBUMS DON’T WORRY DINO WILL PROTECT CHU”

Jun: “My passport! My passport! Nooo!! I need it to leave this placeeeee”

Wonwoo: “1 beanie, 2 beanie, 3 beanie, 4 beanie…. WAIT beanie number 5 is missing!!!”

Hoshi: “WOOZI WOOZI WOOZI ARE YOU OUHKAY ERMAGAWD I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE SECRETLY CREPT INTO YOUR ROOM TO SLEEP TONIGHT”

Woozi: “You creep into my room to sleep?!” 

Hoshi: “I didn’t say anything”

Vernon: *runs out with a pail of water and pours it on his mac*

Woozi: “Vernon, you know that you just poured a bucket full of water on your perfectly fine Macbook right?”

Vernon:

Vernon: “What?” *realises situation*

Woozi: “Unlike you all, I don’t fall for Mingyu’s dumbass tricks”

Vernon: “Give me a moment while I cry in the corner”

Woozi: “It’s gone bro”

Seungkwan: “HELLO HI OMG MUM I HEARD THAT THERE’S A FIRE IN JEJU ARE U OKAYYY? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE’S NO FIRE?”

Joshua: “Is this powder on the floor- perhaps the remains of my guitar?” *welps*

The8: “No, it’s just leftover ramen seasoning that a certain someone forgot to clean last night”

Mingyu: “Minghao, I said I was on FIREEEee! why aren’t you asking if I’m okay??”

The8: “I honestly just came out to watch you get burnt alive but after coming out of my room, I am utterly disappointed”

Scoups: “Hang on someone’s missing! ONE OF MY CHILDREN IS MISSING!”

Scoups: “SEOKMIN! SEOKMIN WHERE ARE YOU?”

DK: “Sleeping”

Mingyu: “But your donkey kong is on fire!”

DK: “UGH I’m so done with you Mingyu, I hope every donkey kong burns to the ground” gasp

Scoups: “Okay so everyone’s fine, there is clearly NO fire, it’s 4 in the morning, what in the name is the meaning of this Kim Mingyu?”

Mingyu: “Mingyu wants food”

Seventeen: “…”

Jeonghan: “So let me get this straight, you woke us up at 4 freaking AM and messed around with my hair getting caught on fire, for food?!?!?!”

The8: “I knew it”

Vernon: “Dude not cool, my macbook got fried” *sobs*

DK: “Great, so donkey kong isn’t on fire, what a nightmare”

Woozi: “I’m going back to bed”

Mingyu: “But Mingyu wants some food” *pouts*

Jun: “Someone hold me back if not I’m gonna hit this tall thing”

Scoups: “Alright, alright. First of all, no violence in this household is allowed, secondly if it was allowed, I am the one who is going to hit this child”

Scoups: “Thirdly, since we’re already up, let’s just go down and get some food”

Mingyu: “YAYYY” *throws confetti in the air*

Dino: “Confetti! Wheeeeee!!” *tries to catch confetti*

Joshua: “Am I the only one who wonders where the confetti came from?” 

Jun: “There is no way I’m going down at this time-“

Wonwoo: “I’m a little hungry”

Jun: “LETS GO”

Jeonghan: “Seungcheol, I blame you for spoiling our children”

Joshua: *glares at coups*

Scoups: “What do you mean? Mingyu’s bad habits came from you…”

Jeonghan: “What are you saying, you’re the one who always-“

Mingyu: “I WANT FOOD”

Scoups: “Can’t you see that your parents are arguing?!”

Jeonghan: “Don’t yell at the children!”

Scoups: “URGH”

*at the store*

Mingyu: “This is how heaven must look like”

Seungkwan: “Yeah, if you want to gain like 50 pounds and wear a size 100, going to the emergency ward for a heart attack then yeah sure!”

Dino: “Dino was upset about my albums before but my heart is fluttering, I think I’m in love”

Jun: *stares at chan and stares at the dinosaur crackers and back at chan*

Jun: “Must. Contain. Judgement.”

Dino: *hugs box of dinosaur shaped crackers*

Jeonghan: “Do you want me to buy that for you Dino?”

Dino: *nods like the adorable child he is*

 Vernon: “Do they sell Macbooks here?”

Joshua: “No Hansol it’s a convenience store why would they sell Macbooks?”

Joshua: “Frankly, I’m quite happy that your Macbook is gone, it’s been creating a gap between our relationship, now I just need your phone to disappear and it’ll be all good between us”

Vernon: “Hello kind sir, do you perhaps sell Macs?”

Cashier: “Oh, we don’t but down the street there’s a Mac-“

Vernon: “THANK YOU SIR I WILL NEVER FORGET YOUR KINDNESS” *runs*

Cashier: “-Mcdonalds…”

Joshua: “So far so great” appearance of evil josh?

Mingyu: “HOLY MOLY WHAT IS THIS?”

Wonwoo: “Chips?”

Hoshi: “It’s called Cheetos gyu, haven’t you tried it before?”

Mingyu: “BUT IT’S ORANGE!”

The8: “It’s just cheese”

Mingyu: “CHEESEEEE”

Mingyu: *opens bag*

Wonwoo: “Erm Mingyu you know that you’re supposed to pay before opening it right?”

Mingyu: “Om nom nom what is this magical taste in my mouth?”

The8: “Don’t over-react Mingyu, it’s just chips covered in oil and artificial flavoured cheese”

Seungkwan: “You forgot to add trans fat”

Mingyu: “But it tastes sho good!” *squeals*

Mingyu: “Minghao can you hold this for me, I need to tie my shoelaces”

The8: “Fine but hurry up”

Cashier: “Did you just open up the chips without paying?!”

Mingyu: “He did it” *points to Minghao*

The8: “WHAT THE FUNK YO”

Cashier: “I’m calling the cops” *takes phone out*

Scoups: “Okay what’s happening now?”

Cashier: “Are these yours?”

Scoups: “Yes they’re my children, that at this point of time I’m seriously considering abandoning, but for now yes they are”

Cashier: “They opened the packet of chips without paying for it, it’s a crime and they can go to jail for it”

Seungkwan: “I predict you’re going to rot in that cell until you’re 30”

The8: “I ain’t going to jail man”

Scoups: “I’m sorry, these kids didn’t know any better, can I just pay for it instead? Please don’t call the cops, we have a music show to do tomorrow and the CEO will flip out if they aren’t there, just tell me how much it is”

Cashier: “Just pay me 50 bucks and we’ll call it even”

Scoups: “50?! What a rip-off!”

Hoshi: “Well there goes your hard-earned money”

The8: “The worst part is… I DIDN’T EVEN DO IT”

Cashier: “What do you mean you didn’t do it, the bag is open and it’s in your hands”

Mingyu: “YEAH MINGHAO HOW COULD YOU! ITS ILLEGAL!”

The8: “WHY I OUTTA-“ *rolls up sleeve* thughao

Scoups: “Boys, don’t fight here!”

Seungkwan: “Pass me that bag of chips hosh, this is getting interesting”

Cashier: “Hello is this the police?”

Scoups: “OKAY SIR HERE’S 50 DOLLARS ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?”

Cashier: “Sorry, there’s an inflation of price, it’s 100 now”

Scoups: “That is absurd, it’s practically daylight robbery!”

Wonwoo: “Actually hyung, it’s night-time robbery…. because it’s at night...”

Hoshi: “So it’s either we sent Minghao to jail or pay $100? What kind of sick logic is that?”

Seungkwan: “I say we send Minghao to jail and spend the hundred on something else like meat”

The8:

The8: “I feel the love y’all”

Cashier: “The address is 62-gil Gangnam-gu, yes the convenience store-“

Scoups: “HERE’S 100!”

Cashier: “Happy New Year children” *kisses the stack of cash*

Hoshi: “There goes our lunch for tomorrow”

Scoups: “WHO DID IT”

Wonwoo: “Wonwoo will not testify”

The8: “I swear hyung its Mingyu”

Mingyu: *shakes head*

The8: “You liar! You almost sent me to JAIL!”

Mingyu: “Okay fine, I opened it. It just looks so yummy I had to eat one”

Scoups: “The CEO gave it to me for us to use wisely and now it’s all gone, you better not make any more trouble or I’m going to seriously consider abandoning you”

Seungkwan: “Don’t forget that he broke Jin Sunbaenim’s display case that day”

Mingyu: “SHHHHH don’t remind him”

Scoups: “Let’s just all go home and get some rest”

*back at the dorm*

Mingyu: *sits on bed and takes out Cheetos packet*

DK: *wakes up*

DK: “What is that crunching sound?”

Mingyu: …

DK: *sniff sniff*

DK: “Is that cheetos I smell?”

Mingyu: “MINE!” *closes packet and hides under blanket*

masterlist ✨

Read the previous episode: Seventeen going to a Christmas Party (feat. BTS)

Episode Three: Seventeen attends a Christmas Party at Bangtan’s Dorm.

Jin: "Hello beautiful people, welcome to our humble dorm. My name is Jin the princess, feel free to make yourself at home, but please do not enter the room at the far end of the dorm that has a pink door, it is strictly out of bounds"

Mingyu: "Why? What's in there?"

Jin: "I said it’s out of bounds"

Woozi: "Imma take a nap on this sofa, wake me up when this is finally over"

Suga: "It’s like looking in the mirror, I shall name you yoongi junior"

Scoups: "Their dorm's bigger than ours and we have thirteen people!" *rAgE*

Vernon: "At least we have more toilets than they do, right?"

Rap Monster: "Hello everyone, thank you for coming to Bangtan’s annual Christmas party, I would like to make a toast.”

Rap Monster: “Memories that are made when it is with the ones you love are the most beautiful ones. I am most thankful for all of you on this cold Christmas day, thank you for making it a warm one, cheers"

Hoshi: "Coups hyung why can't you say wise stuff like that?"

Scoups: "Shut it Hosh"

*Meanwhile on the adventures of our favourite 97 liners*

Mingyu: "I wonder.... what magical creatures lies behind this pink door"

The8: "But Jin said not to go in..."

Mingyu: "Huh? What? Who?" 

DK: "Oh dang, its locked"

Jungkook: "I have the key" *slowly raises key*

DK: "Where did you get that?"

Jungkook: "I stole it, Jin hyung hid the key in his super mario coin pouch" *smiles like a little child*

The8: *whispers to mingyu* "Who is he and when did he get here??"

Mingyu: "what did YOU JUST SAY? DID YOU JUST ASK ME WHO HE IS?! How can you not know who Jungkook is?!!"

The8: "I did NOT ask you that ewgyu"

Mingyu: "Yeah you did, you just asked me that like 3 seconds ago and did you just call me ewgyu?!"

Jungkook: "..."

DK: "Don't mind them Jungkook, they are always arguing but they secretly love each other"

Mingyu & The8: "WE DO NOT."

Jungkook: *unlocks door to Jin's room*

The8: "Thughao down thughao down. Too. Much. Pink. AHHHHHH"

Jungkook: "I always wondered what Jin hyung's room looked like..... but this is EXACTLY how I pictured it to be in my mind..... pink and filled with super marios...." *smh*

Mingyu: "Hey Seokmin! Oh look! It's you!"

DK: "Where?"

Mingyu: *points at donkey kong figurine*

DK: "Do I really need to remind you what DK stands for?" 

Mingyu: "D is for Donkey, K is for Kong"

DK: "It’s so obvious that you haven't been listening to anything I've ever said"

Mingyu: "oooohhhh what's this?" *picks up Yoshi figurine*

The8: "What did I tell you guys, he has an attention span of a squirrel"

Mingyu: “It’s name is… hoshi?”

Mingyu: “Hoshi hyung is that you?”

The8: “It clearly says Yoshi”

Jungkook: "Okay. I'm bored, I'm leaving, bye guys"

The8: "What was his name again?"

Mingyu: "YOU DONT KNOW WHO JEON JUNGKOOK IS?!!!"

The8: "Why do I even try"

DK: "Put that down Mingyu before you cause some serious damage like you always do"

Mingyu: "I do not, what an outrageous thing to say... I am offend-" *hits glass display case for figurines*

*display case falls and smashes into smithereens*

Mingyu: "whoops"

DK: "God dammit gyu"

Joshua: "So I heard you guys went to America in your rookie days, how was it?"

Jimin: "Yeah! It was great! I met a guy named Tony and he was really nice to me!"

Joshua: "Well when I came to Korea, I met a really nice guy named Jeonghan" 

Jimin: "I think I was his favourite out of the entire Bangtan"

Joshua: "I think he was my favourite out of all the Seventeen members"

Jimin: "and he had a cute nickname for me, he called me chim chim"

Joshua: "my nickname for him is angel, because he is an angel that has such a beautiful heart and also beautiful hair. Every time I look at him, it’s as if there's a glow around him- wait who were you talking about again?"

Jimin: "Tony?"

Joshua: "Who dat?"

V: "Hey want to hear a joke about paper?"

Jun: "No, not really..."

V: "Never mind its tear-able"

Jun: "Oh god"

V: "I am on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it"

Vernon: “That doesn’t sound like an effective way of dieting”

Wonwoo: "But I can't eat seafood" TT

Jun: "Please stop"

V: "Okay I got some Christmas ones!"

V: "What do you call a broke Santa?"

Wonwoo: "poor...?"

V: "Saint-NICKEL-LESS! Get it?"

Wonwoo: "Jun... I don't get it"

V: "What do you call a rude reindeer?"

Vernon: "... disrespectful?" i call it seokmin, but call it whatever you want 

V: "RUDEdolph HAHAHAHHAAH" *claps hands uncontrollably*

Jun: "Someone take me back to China...."

Jhope: "I'm your hope! I'm Jhope!"

Jeonghan: "I'm Jeonghan and my hair brings people hope"

Dino: "No it doesn't...."

Jeonghan: "Hush child, you're too young to understand about the hopes my hair brings to this world"

Dino: *pouts*

Jungkook: "tell me about it, the downfalls of being the maknae"

Dino: "I know right? Even though I'm cute and squishy and I can get my way when I act cute-"

Jungkook: "But they treat you like a fetus even when you're 90 years old and the only food you can probably eat is mush"

Dino: "I think I just found my new best friend" *tears up*

Jin: "Okay.... Which dumbass went into my room?!"

97 Line: *looks away*

Jin: "You!"

Mingyu: "Who? Me?!?"

Jin: "Yeah you, tall one. It was you wasn't it!"

Mingyu: "What. NO"

Jin: "I know it’s you, I followed your snot trail and it led me to you!"

Seungkwan: "Now that is just plain nasty"

Jin: "You broke my glass display and my super marios are now covered in glass!"

Seungkwan: "Damage level percentage prediction: 99.3%"

Scoups: "What in the world Kim Mingyu, I leave you alone and you wreck someone's room?!!"

Rap Monster: "Alright everyone, let's just take a deep breath and calm down-"

Jin: "Calm DOWN?! You're telling me to calm down? What if this snot boy went into your room and wrecked your Ryan bears?"

Rap Monster: "Woah woahhh why are you bringing my Ryan bears into this"

Jin: "Oh yeah that reminds me, you broke my beloved refrigerator door, god of destruction"

Joshua: "I am not acquainted with the god you speak of”

Rap Monster: "What... I bought you a new one to replace the broken one"

Jin: "It can never replace the love I have for the old one Namjoon, it had two doors and this one has only one! The old one had an ice dispenser on the outside so I named it Icy, it was so beautiful.” *dabs eyes with tissue*

Jin: “I remember it like it was yesterday, one fine day I was using it, I pressed the button and it dispensed ice into my caramel macchiato and then the very next day someone broke Icy’s door right off her body. R.I.P Icy the refrigerator” 

V: “We will never forget your sacrifice for us” *takes off hat in respect and bows*

Rap Monster: "I can just buy you an ice dispenser if you want one that badly"

Jin: "ITS NOT THE SAME!"

Scoups: "Okay children, let’s get out before he remembers about Mingyu..." 

Seventeen: *creeps out slowly*

Vernon: "PSSSTTT WOOZI HYUNG LET’S GO"

Woozi: "I ain't leaving this place, I finally found my family"

Vernon: "But we're your family..."

Suga: "Not anymore you’re not"

Scoups: "I've failed as a leader, all those years I spent training with you Woozi, all the tears I shed... did it not mean anything to you Jihoon? Our friendship-"

Hoshi: "YOU CAN’T LEAVE ME WOOZI MY LOVE!! IF YOU'RE NOT LEAVING, IM NOT LEAVING THIS PLACE EITHERRRR" *superglues butt on sofa*

Woozi: "Okay you know what, Soonyoung why not you stay here and I'll leave"

Hoshi: "NO WAIT TAKE ME WITH YOU!"

Suga: "Yes please take him with you. I already have a Taehyung and a Hobi, I do not need another one of these" 

Wonwoo: "Well that was fun!" *chirps happily*

The8: "No hyung, no it wasn't"

masterlist ✨