lasagna is for closers!

if i was a soccer player i'd simply kick that ball in the goal instead of wasting everyone's time

we only get so much time on this earth and i fully intend to waste every minute of it

no weapon formed against my sweeties will prosper

why do cherries have to be sexual & strawberries get to be all innocent. why are we slut shaming fruit. what is the sexual valence of a blueberry

NEWS ALERT: JOSH GROBAN IS NOT JOSH BROLIN.

i think the whole Having A Job thing would be less bad if people in management positions were capable of planning and abstract thought

The trouble with certain shows and their very intelligent fans is that the latter are doing PhD level dissertations on a coloring book for toddlers

#and with shows that could actually withstand PhD level dissertations #the fans show up like why is this complicated why is it not a coloring book for toddlers (via @ariaste)