call me jo

stabbed 23 times on my hinge date bc she said "wanna caesar? ;)" and i thought it was a typo

i hate you. i cant imagine life without you. our red string of fate is looped around my neck and youre pulling. im coming back to you. dont let me. we wouldnt know how to leave each other behind even if we wanted to. you're the worst thing that's ever happened to me. sometimes i think youre the only thing i've ever loved

it's called "gross pay" because the amount they're about to deduct is Gross

would you still love a worm if it was me

i see a post online about sibling love. i think about how i love my sister so much I would rather die than live without her. i could send her the post and tell her. instead i scroll and send her a bug video.

"everybody plays the fool sometimes" factoid actually just statistical error. average person plays the fool 0 times. me, who plays the fool every hour of every day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

my boss making me follow a dress code and wear a uniform is a logical and easy way to make clear to customers that I am knowledgeable and ready to help. but in a much more real way it is exactly like slashing an angels wings off with a machete

making someone wear a work uniform is so sick and twisted. how could you do this to me

Dear santa ☺️🎄 this year I really just want a bitch to try it 🤗🙏

heyyy man can I get a hit of ur childlike wonder. can I bum just a little zest for life man

world is a pronoun

wait bro like if our love's insanity then why are you lowkey my clarity ahah like wtf bro

ur in his dms, im on hinge with my preference set to women. u don't gotta worry about me sis

WHATS UP youtube !!!! it's me, the beggar. and today im going to be choosing

i love being beautiful and weird

hoes call me balsamic the way I be vinaigrette. you wouldn't get it

hey we're gonna be allowing ourselves to trust and therefore placing ourselves in positions with high risk but unbelievably higher reward later if you wanna pull up. yeah man we're gonna be accepting of the fact that if we never let ourselves fully trust, we'll never be able to fully reap the benefit of unfettered human connection haha yeah man come on out