elusive

I know that everyone has their own person battles going on. I choose to be a shield rather than a sword.

Piece yourself back together. Face the new day.

Been doing a lot of reflecting lately and decided to reinstall my old broody app friend.

"Un-fucking-believable." It was a typical day for Xander. Do some business here. Entertain some fellow aristocracy there and finally catch the evening news. Many would say that the filthy rich 20 year old lived a charmed life but he begged to differ. Sure, to anyone that looked in on things he'd seem like nothing more than a spoiled brat who had never had to lift a finger in his life, but secretly, he was so much more. Or, he aspired to be so much more and he could be just that... if it weren't for [i]him[/i]. Alexandros Thorne, heir to the Thorne fortune and well known and envied by anyone who was anyone. That was who he was by day. By night, the blonde-haired golden-eyed man was untraceable and for good reason. He went by the name of Wraith, his alias hinting at what he was capable of. A superhero that could vanish in the blink of an eye and reappear at whim. He was untouchable and he was good at what he did, but he had never been quite good enough. He hated him. His enemy. His rival. His fellow super hero. That man made mockery of everything he did and everything he was and he could not possibly loathe a single being more, not even a villain. For years they had competed against each other. It had started out as healthy competition and grew into something much more dark and disturbing. Xander would be lying if he said that he'd never thought of killing him. The only thing that prevented that was his fear of word getting out that a hero had killed one of his own kind. They were supposed to defeat the bad guys, not each other. That was what he told himself whenever they clashed, whenever he stole his gig, took the glory and claimed the hearts of the people. Money could buy you so much, but it couldn't buy you that sort of talent. Oh, but that didn't stop Xander... or Wraith from trying to surpass him. Maybe it was because he had never had to work for something in his pampered life, or maybe he just couldn't face the fact that there were others better than him. Either way, whenever there was a crime being committed or a villain at work Wraith was there in an instant. That was why he was currently tuned into the news... only instead of learning of his next target he had been delivered some highly infuriating news. A statue had been erected, god forbid, in the city square... of his favorite little super hero. The wine glass Xander had been holding shattered in his grasp. [i]Don't vandalize it don't vandalize it don't vandalize it oh god I want to claw that thing's eyes out so badly don't vandalize it...[/i] The snicker on his lips that he hadn't realized was there faded as a news flash appeared on the screen and the program cut to a reporter in the city square. Xander's eyes lit up at the sight, screaming masses of people rushing for cover as the statue was blown to smithereens and a cackle could be heard in the background. He had to press a hand to his mouth just to hold in the laughter that threatened to spill out. Oh this was too good. Someone had already beaten him to it. Did he really have to catch the guy behind this? With a sigh Xander rose from his seat. Yes, he did, if he ever wanted to have a chance at being on top. Maybe if he got lucky his rival would find the same fate as his stupid statue. One could only dream. Wraith's 'costume' wasn't really that. Luckily for him fading in and out of a solid form had side effects, one of which was him temporarily losing his coloring. Instead of his golden skin, eyes and hair, everything faded to grey. Xander had commissioned someone to construct an outfit that worked with him - instead of leaving him naked on the job - and to add in that 'cool factor' he decided to settle for a black leather look. Tight pants, a tight vest and knee high boots - all a glorious glossy black. To top that off, he added a black trench coat that usually got ditched on more strenuous jobs. There was no cape, no gimmicky symbols, just - and he was well aware of this - vague sex appeal. He had to win fans somehow, right? Once he had squeezed into his suit he was sailing out of the window and rushing towards the ground. Just seconds before he hit there was a shimmer of light and he was gone - the bright city lights swallowing him whole. It was time to prove himself once and for all. This one was his.

I've heard men complain about how they never understand their woman's needs countless times. Women are complicated. I'm finally starting to see why. As a woman, I have a wonderful boyfriend who loves me, treats me well, makes me feel safe and who sees a future with me. He meets my emotional needs, keeps me company, offers me advice and takes care of me in the bedroom. So my needs should be satisfied, right? Wrong. I'd never admit this out loud, because I feel like I'm being ungrateful, or unfaithful, or just plain stupid... But I've been craving more lately and I don't like fighting it. I want my boyfriend, and I love him, but I want something else and someone else too. I don't need him to meet my emotional needs, my boyfriend does that already. I need him to have midnight walks with. I need him to lay under the stars with me. I need him to answer that primal urge within me, the one that no one else can satisfy. I don't need him to whisper words of support in my ear, I need him to mark me with savage kisses. I don't need him to hold me at night, I need him to hold me down against boot of my car, his hands gripping my thighs and my head tilted towards the moon. I need to hear him say my name like he used to. I need him to sing to me and read to me like he did before. I need to feel his hair run through my fingers before I seize a handful and bring him closer. Need need need... I need so many things from him! I've never felt so unsatisfied before! My needs; they're complicated. It's your body tangled with mine that could loosen the knots in my soul.

The craziest thing happened though. It felt like someone was stroking my hair and that's what brought me out of it.

My beautiful little girl, Indi. I named her after Indiana Jones because she always looked like she was on an adventure and she was so brave even when she got sick. I'm thankful for the time we had together but you deserved so much more. You took a piece of my heart with you when you passed away, I hope you know how much we all loved you.