serafskid

grief is laughing hard with friends and stopping yourself suddenly how could you be happy in a world that doesn’t contain them? a world where they don’t exist?

grief is waking up early in the morning with a wet pillow, tired you saw them in your dream or a nightmare what do you call it?

grief is taping a broken object they used to own relentlessly holding on to trash.

grief is opening the cupboard and have tears fall after seeing a brown coffee cup.

grief is travelling to school alone in the wee hours of the morning and having to steady your breath so you won’t bawl your eyes out.

grief is writing down memories you refused to write about you thought you wouldn’t want to remember being so miserable.

but most of all, grief is love, a love with nowhere to go.

hey, gabriel

not the angel with u i had fun in hell

from the tallest tower to the deepest abyss i fell it took eons to tell

six feet under could i get back, i ponder three years squandered

tell me, friend would u get back? we wonder let's rot at least, together

musubi,

i hope i'm not just a side story you decided not to explore, an npc without any redeeming quality, not even pointing out the correct path. a slow-paced anime that you dropped halfway, a song you used to sing with friends but was never on any of your playlist.

i search the crowds knowing you won’t be there when i went to the grocery, i expect to see u in the pancake aisle, i look out the car window and wish for u in every skinny guy, with a gray shirt on walking on the street, those with backpacks clinging too tight on their backs, u hate being outside but u always walked.

i inspect our old messages i try to find clues as to why only to realize it’s not enough to go by. i search possible usernames on the internet, any update would be a relief, any sign that u’re really truly alive, maybe just breathing, but still here, on this earth.