sephinchastity

I’ve not posted as much here as I’d hoped or planned, mostly due to a simple lack of time (I should be sleeping right now!), but also because the changes in my behaviour and appetites didn’t feel as intense or exciting as the earlier posts detail.

But I’ve come to realise that doesn’t mean they’re no fun. See, the body gives up. after a few weeks without he need doesn’t go away, but it subsides from the crazy levels where you bounce of the walls. Hands that would wander south without direction stop trying when they’re reminded often enough of the plastic casing.

Three weeks in and notes have slowed down, which is almost certainly for the best :3

It's frustrating that I don't have a way to prove I'm not cheating. Because I almost broke last night, and I'm proud that I didn't.

The urge was so intense, the justifications so insistent. But while difficult and desperate, it was exciting. 

This is the two week hump and after this it becomes easier, but less sexually charged. In the past, edging has helped maintain that desperate thrill, but allowing erections seems like cheating. 

But we've added a over ten weeks to my clock so we're down to an hour added for each new note and a total of 75 days and 18 hours.

It's a shame the relationship and notes couldn't have been super simple, but I'm clearly a terribly judge of such things and want to keep this doable!

What with Christmas and all I've not really had time to digest the experience.

I do know I didn't want to cum. Or rather, I did, but knew I could go longer, and over time made it a taboo that's not easy to break after a prolonged period. I still feel very strange about having posted pictures,

But it was Christmas and I had presents to deliver ^^

But it reiterated something - I don't like release dates. I enjoyed the external pressure of promises made, but it meant unlocking on a day I wasn't entirely into it, and worst of all, placed inordinate focus on the penis as a means of pleasure, something I'm rather trying to reroute. 

Week 3 is a mixed bag. It's not as exciting or intense as week 2, but that can be a blessing. You can get super horny, but don't have to be.

The cage didn't slip during the night. 

I think there's a design flaw with the Holy Trainer (I'll do a comparison with my cb6000s when I've worn it into week 3). The ring I'm using is slightly too large to push and seperate the balls, which would hold it on tighter and prevent slippage, but also too small and constricts blood flow during attempted erections. That's fine during the day, having a punishment for physical arousal is a positive, but during the night that's hazardous. 

Maybe it's simply because I'm not used to this new shape, or being too large has them in the wrong place, but after a second morning waking to fairly sharp ball pain, I started switching to my cb to sleep (I've gotten really quick at switching, I'm terrified of getting an erection at this point).

It fits a lot better and slips a lot less, but I can still tell when I've expanded and contracted during the night - as I think we established at Halloween, I'm a bit of a grower.

I've started drooling precum. 

It's not something I experience a great deal, it takes a couple of weeks to get there and I'm so into anal it tends to get milked straight out. But I've been so busy...

So now I have a dilemma: I won't get a chance to take pictures for two days. I really want to try and capture it, it's been on the to do list for ever, but I want things inside me so bad right now. I've been practically counting the days until today. I had a whole evening planned. Some candles, some lube, my favourite toys.

After the desperation of week 2 comes a gentle resignation, which is both a huge relief and shame. But I'm not there yet.