Seoul-Man

If I had been 30 minutes late, it would have been 30 minutes too late to say goodbye. I would have not been there to talk to her and hold her hand in the final moments. It was just her and I as I wanted some time alone with her even if she could not respond. I wanted to tell her how I proud I was of her after loosing Grandpa last year and how much I loved her, but that I understood if she wanted to go then I wouldn’t hold her back. I think she heard and she knew it was her time. It only took a few breaths before I saw the monitor flat line, but I kept holding her hand knowing she didn’t want to leave this world without someone next to her. She made her peace. 

I lost my grandfather last year and a year later my grandmother is nearing the end stages of her life as well. We put my parent's dog down a couple weekends ago and it would be my dog's 7th birthday today since he passed 2 years ago. Today I will be saying my last goodbyes to my grandmother before she passes on.

I can't tell if it's the end or the beginning I know I haven't been myself, I'll admit it I put up walls so if I burned any bridges just know I'm doin' everything I can to try and fix it But knowin' me I'll probably miss it These voices get so vicious Feels like I'm rippin' stitches I wish some days I could go back Before life changed it was so fast That time is gone and I know that So please Let me be sad Even for a little while Just a chance to catch my breath