❔

it had always been like that after the concerts—energy and adrenaline buzzing inside, too much of them lingering even after three hours of dancing, singing, and having fun, and the fact that yeonjun looked just a bit too hot every time never helped one bit. and that day was much worse, starting with the ‘what about full slick back hair?’ and continuing with the way he managed to hit his lip with the mic in the middle of the performance. you were almost worried about him until that… ass smirked after realizing his lower lip was bleeding.

you helped yeonjun wipe the blood away between the stages, your eyes glued to his bright red lip to avoid hurting him more as his eyes studied your face, lips slowly stretching into a smirk, not caring for a second about the cut. you tried your best to pretend that you didn’t care and that he didn’t look hot as hell, but he knew you, and he knew he was hot, the whole situation was hot, so his cocky ‘wanna kiss it better?’ wasn’t exactly unexpected. 

you stilled and looked him in the eyes, slightly narrowed in his annoyingly hot, foxy expression. yeonjun was so irritating, so insufferable, so undeniably him—everything you loved him for. but letting him win that one, after he first made you worried and then hot and bothered… you only clenched your teeth and replied with ‘you know i would, and blood wouldn’t stop me’, which made him inhale sharply, the smirk leaving his face for a mere second before returning ten times bigger. ‘my little freak’, he murmured, licking the last droplet of blood off—it was time to get back on the stage.

it felt like the concert was endless, so the moment you were both truly backstage and truly free, yeonjun quickly pulled you away from the members and staff into some private area, fast to press you into the wall with his whole body, fingers digging into your waist as he almost sharply pushed the fabric of your top up, needing to feel your skin under his palms and fingertips.

you were just as eager, and your lips were on his within a mere second as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer, a soft sigh of ‘finally’ leaving your lips. yeonjun didn’t waste a second, biting your lower lip gently, his tongue poking your it before slipping between, making you moan into the kiss and tighten your hold on him—that man was a menace to your sanity, and you couldn’t wish for anything else.

yeonjun pushed your top higher, his palms warm and tight around your ribs, nails digging into your skin as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss, his tongue interlacing with yours. he tried to move even closer, caging you between the wall and his body the way he knew you loved so much. the movement made you gasp, and he licked your lower lip again, but this time the sweetness of your lip balm was mixed with the metallic taste of—

“fuck,” he whispered, pulling away, his thumb swiping at his lower lip, confirming what he already knew. he hadn’t even noticed when it opened again, and now his blood was all over his lips, maybe trailing down to his chin again, and—he looked at you, and the word left his mouth in an exhale. “fuck…” 

you looked at him, your eyes huge and mouth ajar, your gaze jumping between his eyes as you struggled to breathe. it took you a few seconds to realize why yeonjun pulled away, but you figured it out before the second ‘fuck’ left his lips. your breath hitched at the wet feeling on your own lips, the tip of your tongue tingling with something metallic. you slowly lowered your gaze only to see the red glistening under the ceiling light before looking him in the eyes again, your fingers clenching the fabric on his chest.

yeonjun would’ve thought you were disgusted, scared to make an unnecessary move that would get his blood into your mouth, if he didn’t know you well enough to be sure the words said backstage weren't a joke. you looked so cute, though, scared of what he might think, and he was torn between wanting to tease you, assure you, or just kiss you harder, until he was sure you couldn’t breathe without his lips on yours and couldn’t think at all unless it was about him.

but it probably wasn’t the best time, he thought, so he gently cupped your jaw, thumb resting just below your lower lip in case you did want to get rid of the blood, so he could wipe it away immediately. yeonjun licked his lips, swallowing thickly at the taste of copper mixed with the sweetness of your lip balm, before deciding to risk it. “do you want to lick it off?” he asked quietly.

you didn’t move at first, didn’t say anything—couldn’t say anything, words stuck in your throat, your mind caught between embarrassment and something you couldn’t quite name. or, perhaps, didn’t want to admit it to yourself even. but, slowly, hesitantly, you nodded, scared to look away from yeonjun even for a second and risk missing his reaction. 

but his gaze softened, a soft smile finding its place on his face—not teasing, not cocky. assuring, “but scared of looking weird?” he whispered, caressing your chin, his voice and touch just as soft as his gaze and smile.

the second nod was just as slow and hesitant as the first one, despite the way yeonjun looked at you. you knew there was no going back now after the honest answer to the first question, but the situation was still… nerve-wracking—he did call you a little freak before. yes, his little freak. yes, with a smirk. but… you clenched the fabric of his hoodie again, inhaling shakily. 

yeonjun didn’t think twice, though, leaning in, his tongue brushing against your lower lip first before he pressed his lips to yours firmly, his tongue, now carrying a taste of his blood, caressing yours. the kiss was surprisingly soft, almost assuring despite the metallic taste and intensity, and you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer, as he mirrored the gesture on your waist, his skin warm against yours under the shirt.

yeonjun was told to be careful with his lip despite the healing balm he kept applying almost religiously, because the dumb cut on his lip robbed him of all the things he loved so much—spicy ramyeon, wide smiles, and messy kisses. he was sure he could add a little less of spicy seasoning, sighing loudly at his difficult life; he could try to keep his face straight when the members did something dumb again; but even thinking about keeping himself away from your lips felt like a sacrilege.

you tried your best to stop the kisses, you really did, you could swear you did, but saying no to yeonjun had never been an option—not with his firm hold on your waist and quiet but so alluring “just a peck, baby. i miss your lips so much” when both of you perfectly knew the previous peck—that happened just a few hours ago—turned into a full-on makeout session way too fast. but at least keeping it more or less civil helped keep his lip as uninjured as it could be.

and yeonjun didn't even ask that time—what was the point if you wouldn't be able to say no, giving in just a few seconds in?—you'd just pulled your hoodie over your head because it was a bit too hot in the dorms and especially yeonjun's room, and his hands were wrapped around your middle even before you saw the light, his lips on yours not giving you a chance to inhale properly. 

it didn't start as ‘just a little peck’ either—yeonjun didn't waste time, his tongue entering your mouth the moment your lips touched, as he smirked into the kiss at the way your mouth was already ajar. he pressed you to himself firmly, leaving no space between your bodies, and deepened the kiss, nibbling on your lower lip occasionally and making you gasp and moan softly into the kiss.

you weren’t sure if yeonjun felt it, he had to, by all means, it was his lip after all—but he didn’t show it in any other way than cupping the back of your neck, your dizzy brain taking it as ‘don’t even think of moving away’, as the faint tang of copper tickled the tip of your tongue. the whimper left your lips before you could control it—you had to care, had to stop and ask if it hurt, but your brain was too foggy and you only brushed his tongue with the tip of yours, sharing the metallic taste, the groan you got in response making you cling to him more. 

yeonjun pulled away just for a second—barely ‘away’—his breath warm against your wet lips. “my little freak,” he whispered, leaning in again, lips against yours, shutting you up before you could reply with that smart-ass ‘your fault’ or ‘who says’. 

you were already clawing at the back of his tank top with obvious intentions to pull it off when the door opened without any knock or question of ‘hyung, can i come in?’, making yeonjun groan a quiet ‘fuck’ into the kiss and tug your shirt back down—privacy seemed like an unknown concept in this place. 

“hyung, i need—” beomgyu started before his eyes landed on the two of you—faces flushed, hair and clothes messy. “oh, oops, sorry!” he lifted his hands in surrender. “should have knocked, won’t happen—” he didn’t finish, the glistening red on yeonjun’s lips catching his attention before he moved his gaze to your lips, making you try to lick the ‘evidence’ off reflexively. it was too late, though. “oh my god!” he groaned, throwing his head back, hands on his face. “you two are freaks!” 

you rolled your eyes at the drama, crossing your arms over your chest. “not the worst kind of fluids we exchange regularly, beomgyu,” you said, rolling your eyes again, throwing a quick glance from the corner of your eye at yeonjun, who choked on the air.

beomgyu’s eyes went wide. “OH MY GOD—” he groaned louder, not sure if he wanted to cover his ears or eyes. “that’s exactly what i meant! oh my god…” he stayed quiet for a second, the image you put into his head clear and bright before his eyes, before groaning once again. “disgusting!”

“why do you keep thinking about it?!” yeonjun exclaimed, his hand reaching for the apeach pillow, ready to throw anything at that brat—annoying beomgyu was fun, but not with the thoughts like that about his girlfriend.

“how do i get rid of the image now?!” beomgyu replied with even more exasperation, rubbing his eyes as if trying to erase it, but the attempt was clearly unsuccessful.

you tilted your head, feigning innocence. “i can go into the specifics, if—”

“don’t!” he burst out before you placed any other disgusting image into his head that would make him cry himself to sleep every night. “i don’t need to know! i didn’t need to know anything about your fluids either!” 

yeonjun shrugged. “then don’t ask,” he replied, nudging your side with his elbow—he was playing along, but you started it, and he was going to tease the hell out of you the second you were alone.

“i didn’t!” beomgyu shot back, before groaning another ‘oh my god’, not exactly sure why in the world he was still there.

yeonjun wrapped his arm around your waist—not exactly in a possessive way, mostly in that ‘look, we were kinda busy’ way. “what did you need?” he asked, partly wanting to help his dongsaeng. but only partly. 

beomgyu let out a sigh, backing out of the room. “nothing compared to the need for bleaching my brain now. i hate you both. hope you know,” he announced dramatically before slamming the door shut behind himself. 

for a moment, there was silence, the two of you trying to keep your faces straight before bursting into giggles just a few seconds later, that slowly turned into laughter. 

yeonjun shook his head, wrapping his arms around you and turning you to face him, hands warm on your skin. “serious question now, baby,” he said and you nodded a few times, trying to stop the giggles. “does exhibitionism get you going, or were you being a brat for fun?” he asked, lips, still red-tinted, slowly stretching in a cocky smirk at his own remark, and you pressed your lips to his, murmuring a quiet, affectionate ‘butt’.

you promised yourself you would find enough strength in yourself to stop him from kissing you until his lip was healed. tomorrow. maybe. when you stopped being giddy about being chosen over spicy ramyeon. 

beomgyu knows you only ever wanted him to teach you some things about sex. he knows he should have never wanted more than that. he knows it all, and it aggravates him so badly that he still craves you beyond those short-lived moments.

you must’ve known how easily you can make a man’s heart flutter. you had to know you were driving beomgyu insane this whole time, you saw all the signs yourself. you knew, right? he looks at your picture again—your kind eyes, your soft smile, your pretty face that he’s kissed enough times to memorize—and feels bad for even thinking you would be so mean.

you’ve got a flower in your hair, and everything about you has a whisper of innocence. something in beomgyu’s chest clenches, and it feels as if he actually lost something. you were never his, he tries to remind himself, but it’s not convincing him.

he can’t ignore the truth: to him, you were his. he had you in his sheets, he held you in his hands, he watched you bare your skin. he’s more familiar with your body than taehyun could ever be.

at least for a few moments, your lips were beomgyu’s. his eyes catch sight of that smile you wear in the picture, a smile you wear for taehyun. there’s a dull ache that grows inside him, and he should shut his phone off and think of something else, but he can’t. what could beomgyu have done differently to get you to look at him like that instead?

for a few moments, your face was his to hold. your neck was his to kiss. your body was his to undress, your skin was his to explore, your air was his to breathe. he had you in ways more vulnerable than anyone else has before, and so you were his.

he’s felt the beat of your pulse beneath his tongue when he familiarized your neck with his mouth. he’s felt the tremble in your legs when your orgasm creeps up, felt your hips under his palm when he held you down to endure the feeling. he’s heard the way you cry when the pleasure’s too much for you, and he knows where to pepper his kisses to soothe you. he knows you better than anyone else does.

you’re wearing a very pretty dress in the picture. beomgyu would have loved to see you in it, but you saved it for taehyun. beomgyu decides that you just must not care about him, that he’s just been some pawn to use to get to taehyun. you don’t care about beomgyu’s feelings, or the things beomgyu likes, or what dresses he might find you pretty in.

his stomach twists, and there’s a knot growing in his throat. the hand that’s not holding his phone grips his bed sheets, like that’s going to do anything. there’s an anger he feels deep in his chest that he needs to get out.

he wants to bring you here, wants to throw you down on his bed and push up the skirt of that cute dress you wear. it’s beautiful, and you look beautiful in it, but he fucking despises it. he’d tear it to shreds, make sure you can never wear it again.

he’d hold your chin up and make you look him in the eye. you wouldn’t dare look away, he’d keep your eyes on him and level you with an unwavering stare. he can imagine how confused you be, how your eyes would be filled with so much regret and sadness. you know that only beomgyu is good enough for you, so why run off to other guys who aren’t half the man that he is?

“apologize,” he’d demand, leaving no room for excuses. he wants to see you shed tears, to see the proof of how sorry you are. you’re so nice, too. he’d forgive you so easily as long as you told him you were sorry, but he’d still have to reclaim every part of you as his own.

he imagines your pitiful voice. “i’m sorry,” you’d whimper, and he’d press his knee between your legs. you’ll show him how much you mean it, you’ll give him all of you this time.

his hand finds his cock as he thinks about the way you’d jolt when he smacks your thigh. you’d gasp, so shocked, so scandalized, before moaning when beomgyu pushes his hand beneath your panties. beomgyu groans and spits in his hand to lubricate the slide of his fist over his shaft.

he’d tsk at how wet you’d be already, wanting to embarrass you a little. you deserve it for making him feel like this right now. his fingers would slide through your folds before they find their way to his mouth. he can’t help how he fiends for your taste, swirling his tongue around the digits before returning them to your cunt.

he’d push two fingers in, and you’d squirm and whine like the little virgin you are, but he’d hold you down and make you take it. you’d look so cute digging your nails into his skin as your pussy clamps over his digits. he fists his cock a little tighter, grunting as he fucks up into his hand.

he wishes you were here to take care of this for him. your hand feels so much better than his—smaller, softer, prettier. but you’re probably with taehyun right now, and you’re probably not even thinking of beomgyu. how fucking evil. he should show you how much you’re hurting him.

“you’re only mine, right?” he’d ask. even as you’re gasping and barely thinking straight while he fucks his fingers into you, he’d make sure you give him an answer. you’d have so much trouble trying to form a sentence, but you don’t get to cum without telling him this. “you’re mine, mine, mine,” he’d grunt out, holding you in place when your body starts thrashing around.

would his fingers jackhammering into you be too much to take? what a poor thing, soaking wet but still too tight to fit his cock. he’d wait for your answer, but you’re stuck moaning and crying out, just like a dumb little doll.

“you’ll never look at another man again?” he’d ask, and if you can’t bring yourself to answer that, he’d take your jaw in his hand and make you nod your head. “that’s right,” he’d say, so proud of how fucked out he made you. “never again.” he’d lean in to kiss your cheek, and you’d finally cum on his fingers.

it’s not quite enough, though. beomgyu’s cock is leaking now, begging to reach his climax, but he’s nowhere near done with what he wants to do with you. he imagines you catching your breath, laying beneath him like you’re his pretty whore, and his dick twitches in his hand. he wants to ruin you. much worse ideas start flooding his mind.

he’d run a hand down your leg, soothing, gentle, make sure you’re not tense or scared. all he can think about is sinking into your cunt, but you wouldn’t know that yet. you’d look so tempting, hole fluttering like it’s begging to be filled. beomgyu’s hands shake, stomach tensing as if this is all actually happening.

is this too mean? a part of him feels bad, but clearly not bad enough—he’s stroking his cock with a lot more fervor as he imagines your moans when his tip breaches your entrance. you’d be crying out apologies, begging for beomgyu to forgive you for ever even speaking to taehyun. the thought has him squeezing the base of his cock, on the verge of cumming too soon.

he feels guilty. he gets meaner. he’d sink into you all the way, holding your throat in a possessive grasp. you’d stare at him like he’s the only person in the world—finally—and he’d feel good about himself again. he’d feel like he’s worth something again.

tears brim his eyes, and his hips snap up into his fist, imagining it’s your cunt he’s fucking into instead. you’d be so warm, so wet, so tight, and all his. no one else would ever be able to know how you feel.

he needs to feel you wrapped around him, needs to feel your walls spasm as you cum on his cock. he won’t survive without it. his thrusts get angrier as he imagines ruining your cunt for anyone else. he’d make sure no other cock could satisfy you, and especially not taehyun’s. you’re just so fucking mean to him, can’t even let him have you to himself.

beomgyu spills all over his hand, hips stuttering as his orgasm takes over. your name flies from his mouth, and a tear falls from his eyes as he clenches them shut. he’s shaking a little from how intense his high was, breathing hard from the aftermath.

if he thought cumming would make him feel better, it doesn’t. he’s still pissed, and he still feels like shit, and he still wants you to break up with taehyun. beomgyu has never been an irrational person, but his mind is slipping from him now, all because of you.

he’s a little embarrassed of how depraved his fantasies of you became. he’d never be that rough with you. he thinks you’re something fragile and delicate, but you just make him so angry. he couldn’t help but want to take it out on you.

he hopes you don’t hate him. he hopes you still think of him fondly, if you even think of him at all. maybe you’re not as hung up on him as he is to you. maybe he should text you right now—maybe he should see you right now.

he wonders how you’ve managed to make him lose all his pride in such a short amount of time. you’ve reduced him to a much more pathetic man than he ever was before; he knows this because he’s walking to your apartment, desperate to pry something sweet from you. he feels like shit, and he just wants to see your face, to hear your voice, to smell your perfume.

he wishes he could just stay in his bed and be okay with everything, but he’s not. he’s standing in front of your door, knocking his fist against the wood, body all jittery and antsy. it’s like he’s actually addicted to you. it looks like you’re the one ruining him, after all.

“oh, hi, gyu,” you greet when you open the door, sounding as sweet as ever. it makes him want to sob. “what are you doing here?” you ask, brows slightly scrunched.

“what happened?” he asks, incapable of saying much more than that. he’s scared his voice might break or that a tear might fall if he says too much. he steps into your apartment, not daring to take his eyes off you even as he shuts the door behind him.

“what?” your voice is laced with confusion, and beomgyu doesn’t understand how you don’t immediately see the problem. how could you do this to him so suddenly?

“tell me you don’t really like him,” he says, eyes wide and pleading as he stares at you. he hates your silence. he hates it, it’s driving him crazy. “please,” he begs.

“is this about taehyun?” hearing his friend’s name on your tongue is almost enough to make beomgyu fall to his knees. he needs you to hate that guy—and he’s awfully sorry to taehyun, but he’ll do just about anything to get you away from him.

he wants to take a step towards you and close the space between your bodies. it feels so unnatural to be standing so far apart. he can’t do that anymore, though, not when the threat of taehyun finding out hangs over his head.

he almost asks you again to tell him if you like taehyun, but he thinks he might collapse if your answer is anything but no. his heart pounds, and he can’t seem to calm himself down. why does this feel so drastic? he needs his brain to let his heart know that he’s not dying.

“what about us?” he asks instead. his eyes dart between yours, but it’s hard to find your answer in your face. you wear a slight frown, eyes barely able to meet his own. you stand so still that beomgyu wonders if this is just his imagination again.

“we'll just have to stop all the… you know. since i’m with taehyun now,” you answer meekly, as if you’re letting him down easily. that’s not the case—nothing about this is easy.

it’s not just about the sex for beomgyu, and he thinks you know that. the way you soften your voice, the way you avoid his gaze, everything just tells him that you know the truth. maybe you knew before beomgyu even did. he likes you more than a friend, more than somebody he just hooks up with. he likes you enough that you could break his heart.

beomgyu shakes his head, unwilling to accept it. he’s pouting, eyes pleading as he stares at you like that might convince you to comfort him. he wants you to come forward and touch him, to cradle his face in your hands and coo at him gently. he wants to lean his face into your shoulder and sob. he wants to cling onto your body and never let go, wants to drag you everywhere he goes so he’ll have you forever.

he waits for you to make the first move. if you move forward even an inch, beomgyu would make it easy for you and meet you the rest of the way there. you don’t move, though. what more do you need him to say?

“i don’t like taehyun,” he admits. you still don’t move. he continues, “but i want you to be happy.”

“thank you.” you give him a small smile.

“i just really don’t want you to be happy with him,” he says. you sigh and look away, and beomgyu feels bad for making you feel so awkward.

“i’m sorry. i don’t know what to say,” you reply.

you don’t have to say anything. you could just let him hold you right now and he’d feel a little better.

you speak again, “are we still friends?”

he looks at you for a long second. your brows are upturned, eyes dimmer than usual. he misses when they gleamed with curiosity and excitement. he fights back the urge to hold your face and kiss your eyelids.

he doesn’t want to hurt you. “yes,” he says.

“thank god,” you sigh, finally falling into him. your arms wrap around him, and beomgyu doesn’t hesitate to hold you in his embrace. he urges the earth to stand still for a moment, just so he can bask in your touch a little longer.

he holds you like you’re something precious, like he’ll be losing something when he lets go. beomgyu knows taehyun doesn’t cherish you like this. he just has to make you see that.

when you pull away, you linger in his proximity, close enough that beomgyu could lean down and kiss you. something in your stare tells beomgyu that you’ll miss him too, that you’ll miss what you used to have. it’s either that or beomgyu’s really gone crazy now, seeing whatever he wants to see. he’s too scared to mention it in case he’s wrong.

“let me stay tonight,” he whispers, as if talking too loud will break the moment.

you look like you consider it for a second. “you know i can’t,” you say. he wants to kiss the pout off your face.

“then let me stay five more minutes.” he grabs your hand, and you don’t pull it away. he brings it to his mouth to kiss it, then your wrist, then your inner arm. he’s soft and sweet and gentle; he wants to prove that he can be a good boyfriend, too. it’s not just a role taehyun could fulfill.

“i can’t,” you say. you step away just an inch, but beomgyu follows, not allowing the space to form between you.

“one more minute,” he insists, using his free hand to hold your waist. long enough for one more kiss, so he can remember your taste when he goes to sleep. long enough to draw one more gasp from your mouth as he lets his hands roam your body. he waits for your permission, ever so hopeful, but you don’t give it to him.

“good night, gyu,” you say as you break away from his touch. your hand is slow to retract from his, but maybe that’s just beomgyu’s mind playing tricks on him.

he wants to call you a lot of different things right now. mean. cruel. heartless. but the sour words don’t roll off his tongue when he’s around you; that would be impossible.

“good night, pretty,” he says. that feels a lot more fitting for you.

you laugh, “don’t call me that.”

“why? i always have.”

“no you haven’t,” you say, walking towards the door to open it for beomgyu. your tone holds mild annoyance, but your smile is the fondest one you’ve given him today. it gives him all the more reason to keep calling you that.

beomgyu steps out, and he etches your smile into his mind before you shut the door. the moment it’s closed and beomgyu’s left to walk back to his place, he’s finally hit by the weight of his actions. he made himself look so desperate and stupid. taehyun would never have to beg for your attention or your time.

he thinks about it the whole time he walks home. maybe you have a thing for strong guys. that’s fine, beomgyu can start working out. or maybe it’s taehyun’s intelligence that draws you to him, then beomgyu could pick up some books. he thinks of everything taehyun has that he doesn’t, and suddenly he feels competitive.

he stares at his ceiling once he’s back in bed, zoning out and wondering what he can do to get you back. he’s gone through a whirlwind of emotions today, but what he feels more than anything right now is fear. what if you’ll never think beomgyu is good enough? what if you fall in love with taehyun too fast, and beomgyu loses his chance? he can’t let you slip from his fingers.

beomgyu gets a notification, and he checks it too eagerly, thinking it might be from you. instead, he finds a text from taehyun—some link to a video he thought was funny or whatever. he huffs out in annoyance. now he’s just back to feeling pissed again.

beomgyu knows you only ever wanted him to teach you some things about sex. he knows he should have never wanted more than that. he knows it all, and it aggravates him so badly that he still craves you beyond those short-lived moments.

you must’ve known how easily you can make a man’s heart flutter. you had to know you were driving beomgyu insane this whole time, you saw all the signs yourself. you knew, right? he looks at your picture again—your kind eyes, your soft smile, your pretty face that he’s kissed enough times to memorize—and feels bad for even thinking you would be so mean.

you’ve got a flower in your hair, and everything about you has a whisper of innocence. something in beomgyu’s chest clenches, and it feels as if he actually lost something. you were never his, he tries to remind himself, but it’s not convincing him.

he can’t ignore the truth: to him, you were his. he had you in his sheets, he held you in his hands, he watched you bare your skin. he’s more familiar with your body than taehyun could ever be.

at least for a few moments, your lips were beomgyu’s. his eyes catch sight of that smile you wear in the picture, a smile you wear for taehyun. there’s a dull ache that grows inside him, and he should shut his phone off and think of something else, but he can’t. what could beomgyu have done differently to get you to look at him like that instead?

for a few moments, your face was his to hold. your neck was his to kiss. your body was his to undress, your skin was his to explore, your air was his to breathe. he had you in ways more vulnerable than anyone else has before, and so you were his.

he’s felt the beat of your pulse beneath his tongue when he familiarized your neck with his mouth. he’s felt the tremble in your legs when your orgasm creeps up, felt your hips under his palm when he held you down to endure the feeling. he’s heard the way you cry when the pleasure’s too much for you, and he knows where to pepper his kisses to soothe you. he knows you better than anyone else does.

you’re wearing a very pretty dress in the picture. beomgyu would have loved to see you in it, but you saved it for taehyun. beomgyu decides that you just must not care about him, that he’s just been some pawn to use to get to taehyun. you don’t care about beomgyu’s feelings, or the things beomgyu likes, or what dresses he might find you pretty in.

his stomach twists, and there’s a knot growing in his throat. the hand that’s not holding his phone grips his bed sheets, like that’s going to do anything. there’s an anger he feels deep in his chest that he needs to get out.

he wants to bring you here, wants to throw you down on his bed and push up the skirt of that cute dress you wear. it’s beautiful, and you look beautiful in it, but he fucking despises it. he’d tear it to shreds, make sure you can never wear it again.

he’d hold your chin up and make you look him in the eye. you wouldn’t dare look away, he’d keep your eyes on him and level you with an unwavering stare. he can imagine how confused you be, how your eyes would be filled with so much regret and sadness. you know that only beomgyu is good enough for you, so why run off to other guys who aren’t half the man that he is?

“apologize,” he’d demand, leaving no room for excuses. he wants to see you shed tears, to see the proof of how sorry you are. you’re so nice, too. he’d forgive you so easily as long as you told him you were sorry, but he’d still have to reclaim every part of you as his own.

he imagines your pitiful voice. “i’m sorry,” you’d whimper, and he’d press his knee between your legs. you’ll show him how much you mean it, you’ll give him all of you this time.

his hand finds his cock as he thinks about the way you’d jolt when he smacks your thigh. you’d gasp, so shocked, so scandalized, before moaning when beomgyu pushes his hand beneath your panties. beomgyu groans and spits in his hand to lubricate the slide of his fist over his shaft.

he’d tsk at how wet you’d be already, wanting to embarrass you a little. you deserve it for making him feel like this right now. his fingers would slide through your folds before they find their way to his mouth. he can’t help how he fiends for your taste, swirling his tongue around the digits before returning them to your cunt.

he’d push two fingers in, and you’d squirm and whine like the little virgin you are, but he’d hold you down and make you take it. you’d look so cute digging your nails into his skin as your pussy clamps over his digits. he fists his cock a little tighter, grunting as he fucks up into his hand.

he wishes you were here to take care of this for him. your hand feels so much better than his—smaller, softer, prettier. but you’re probably with taehyun right now, and you’re probably not even thinking of beomgyu. how fucking evil. he should show you how much you’re hurting him.

“you’re only mine, right?” he’d ask. even as you’re gasping and barely thinking straight while he fucks his fingers into you, he’d make sure you give him an answer. you’d have so much trouble trying to form a sentence, but you don’t get to cum without telling him this. “you’re mine, mine, mine,” he’d grunt out, holding you in place when your body starts thrashing around.

would his fingers jackhammering into you be too much to take? what a poor thing, soaking wet but still too tight to fit his cock. he’d wait for your answer, but you’re stuck moaning and crying out, just like a dumb little doll.

“you’ll never look at another man again?” he’d ask, and if you can’t bring yourself to answer that, he’d take your jaw in his hand and make you nod your head. “that’s right,” he’d say, so proud of how fucked out he made you. “never again.” he’d lean in to kiss your cheek, and you’d finally cum on his fingers.

it’s not quite enough, though. beomgyu’s cock is leaking now, begging to reach his climax, but he’s nowhere near done with what he wants to do with you. he imagines you catching your breath, laying beneath him like you’re his pretty whore, and his dick twitches in his hand. he wants to ruin you. much worse ideas start flooding his mind.

he’d run a hand down your leg, soothing, gentle, make sure you’re not tense or scared. all he can think about is sinking into your cunt, but you wouldn’t know that yet. you’d look so tempting, hole fluttering like it’s begging to be filled. beomgyu’s hands shake, stomach tensing as if this is all actually happening.

is this too mean? a part of him feels bad, but clearly not bad enough—he’s stroking his cock with a lot more fervor as he imagines your moans when his tip breaches your entrance. you’d be crying out apologies, begging for beomgyu to forgive you for ever even speaking to taehyun. the thought has him squeezing the base of his cock, on the verge of cumming too soon.

he feels guilty. he gets meaner. he’d sink into you all the way, holding your throat in a possessive grasp. you’d stare at him like he’s the only person in the world—finally—and he’d feel good about himself again. he’d feel like he’s worth something again.

tears brim his eyes, and his hips snap up into his fist, imagining it’s your cunt he’s fucking into instead. you’d be so warm, so wet, so tight, and all his. no one else would ever be able to know how you feel.

he needs to feel you wrapped around him, needs to feel your walls spasm as you cum on his cock. he won’t survive without it. his thrusts get angrier as he imagines ruining your cunt for anyone else. he’d make sure no other cock could satisfy you, and especially not taehyun’s. you’re just so fucking mean to him, can’t even let him have you to himself.

beomgyu spills all over his hand, hips stuttering as his orgasm takes over. your name flies from his mouth, and a tear falls from his eyes as he clenches them shut. he’s shaking a little from how intense his high was, breathing hard from the aftermath.

if he thought cumming would make him feel better, it doesn’t. he’s still pissed, and he still feels like shit, and he still wants you to break up with taehyun. beomgyu has never been an irrational person, but his mind is slipping from him now, all because of you.

he’s a little embarrassed of how depraved his fantasies of you became. he’d never be that rough with you. he thinks you’re something fragile and delicate, but you just make him so angry. he couldn’t help but want to take it out on you.

he hopes you don’t hate him. he hopes you still think of him fondly, if you even think of him at all. maybe you’re not as hung up on him as he is to you. maybe he should text you right now—maybe he should see you right now.

he wonders how you’ve managed to make him lose all his pride in such a short amount of time. you’ve reduced him to a much more pathetic man than he ever was before; he knows this because he’s walking to your apartment, desperate to pry something sweet from you. he feels like shit, and he just wants to see your face, to hear your voice, to smell your perfume.

he wishes he could just stay in his bed and be okay with everything, but he’s not. he’s standing in front of your door, knocking his fist against the wood, body all jittery and antsy. it’s like he’s actually addicted to you. it looks like you’re the one ruining him, after all.

“oh, hi, gyu,” you greet when you open the door, sounding as sweet as ever. it makes him want to sob. “what are you doing here?” you ask, brows slightly scrunched.

“what happened?” he asks, incapable of saying much more than that. he’s scared his voice might break or that a tear might fall if he says too much. he steps into your apartment, not daring to take his eyes off you even as he shuts the door behind him.

“what?” your voice is laced with confusion, and beomgyu doesn’t understand how you don’t immediately see the problem. how could you do this to him so suddenly?

“tell me you don’t really like him,” he says, eyes wide and pleading as he stares at you. he hates your silence. he hates it, it’s driving him crazy. “please,” he begs.

“is this about taehyun?” hearing his friend’s name on your tongue is almost enough to make beomgyu fall to his knees. he needs you to hate that guy—and he’s awfully sorry to taehyun, but he’ll do just about anything to get you away from him.

he wants to take a step towards you and close the space between your bodies. it feels so unnatural to be standing so far apart. he can’t do that anymore, though, not when the threat of taehyun finding out hangs over his head.

he almost asks you again to tell him if you like taehyun, but he thinks he might collapse if your answer is anything but no. his heart pounds, and he can’t seem to calm himself down. why does this feel so drastic? he needs his brain to let his heart know that he’s not dying.

“what about us?” he asks instead. his eyes dart between yours, but it’s hard to find your answer in your face. you wear a slight frown, eyes barely able to meet his own. you stand so still that beomgyu wonders if this is just his imagination again.

“we'll just have to stop all the… you know. since i’m with taehyun now,” you answer meekly, as if you’re letting him down easily. that’s not the case—nothing about this is easy.

it’s not just about the sex for beomgyu, and he thinks you know that. the way you soften your voice, the way you avoid his gaze, everything just tells him that you know the truth. maybe you knew before beomgyu even did. he likes you more than a friend, more than somebody he just hooks up with. he likes you enough that you could break his heart.

beomgyu shakes his head, unwilling to accept it. he’s pouting, eyes pleading as he stares at you like that might convince you to comfort him. he wants you to come forward and touch him, to cradle his face in your hands and coo at him gently. he wants to lean his face into your shoulder and sob. he wants to cling onto your body and never let go, wants to drag you everywhere he goes so he’ll have you forever.

he waits for you to make the first move. if you move forward even an inch, beomgyu would make it easy for you and meet you the rest of the way there. you don’t move, though. what more do you need him to say?

“i don’t like taehyun,” he admits. you still don’t move. he continues, “but i want you to be happy.”

“thank you.” you give him a small smile.

“i just really don’t want you to be happy with him,” he says. you sigh and look away, and beomgyu feels bad for making you feel so awkward.

“i’m sorry. i don’t know what to say,” you reply.

you don’t have to say anything. you could just let him hold you right now and he’d feel a little better.

you speak again, “are we still friends?”

he looks at you for a long second. your brows are upturned, eyes dimmer than usual. he misses when they gleamed with curiosity and excitement. he fights back the urge to hold your face and kiss your eyelids.

he doesn’t want to hurt you. “yes,” he says.

“thank god,” you sigh, finally falling into him. your arms wrap around him, and beomgyu doesn’t hesitate to hold you in his embrace. he urges the earth to stand still for a moment, just so he can bask in your touch a little longer.

he holds you like you’re something precious, like he’ll be losing something when he lets go. beomgyu knows taehyun doesn’t cherish you like this. he just has to make you see that.

when you pull away, you linger in his proximity, close enough that beomgyu could lean down and kiss you. something in your stare tells beomgyu that you’ll miss him too, that you’ll miss what you used to have. it’s either that or beomgyu’s really gone crazy now, seeing whatever he wants to see. he’s too scared to mention it in case he’s wrong.

“let me stay tonight,” he whispers, as if talking too loud will break the moment.

you look like you consider it for a second. “you know i can’t,” you say. he wants to kiss the pout off your face.

“then let me stay five more minutes.” he grabs your hand, and you don’t pull it away. he brings it to his mouth to kiss it, then your wrist, then your inner arm. he’s soft and sweet and gentle; he wants to prove that he can be a good boyfriend, too. it’s not just a role taehyun could fulfill.

“i can’t,” you say. you step away just an inch, but beomgyu follows, not allowing the space to form between you.

“one more minute,” he insists, using his free hand to hold your waist. long enough for one more kiss, so he can remember your taste when he goes to sleep. long enough to draw one more gasp from your mouth as he lets his hands roam your body. he waits for your permission, ever so hopeful, but you don’t give it to him.

“good night, gyu,” you say as you break away from his touch. your hand is slow to retract from his, but maybe that’s just beomgyu’s mind playing tricks on him.

he wants to call you a lot of different things right now. mean. cruel. heartless. but the sour words don’t roll off his tongue when he’s around you; that would be impossible.

“good night, pretty,” he says. that feels a lot more fitting for you.

you laugh, “don’t call me that.”

“why? i always have.”

“no you haven’t,” you say, walking towards the door to open it for beomgyu. your tone holds mild annoyance, but your smile is the fondest one you’ve given him today. it gives him all the more reason to keep calling you that.

beomgyu steps out, and he etches your smile into his mind before you shut the door. the moment it’s closed and beomgyu’s left to walk back to his place, he’s finally hit by the weight of his actions. he made himself look so desperate and stupid. taehyun would never have to beg for your attention or your time.

he thinks about it the whole time he walks home. maybe you have a thing for strong guys. that’s fine, beomgyu can start working out. or maybe it’s taehyun’s intelligence that draws you to him, then beomgyu could pick up some books. he thinks of everything taehyun has that he doesn’t, and suddenly he feels competitive.

he stares at his ceiling once he’s back in bed, zoning out and wondering what he can do to get you back. he’s gone through a whirlwind of emotions today, but what he feels more than anything right now is fear. what if you’ll never think beomgyu is good enough? what if you fall in love with taehyun too fast, and beomgyu loses his chance? he can’t let you slip from his fingers.

beomgyu gets a notification, and he checks it too eagerly, thinking it might be from you. instead, he finds a text from taehyun—some link to a video he thought was funny or whatever. he huffs out in annoyance. now he’s just back to feeling pissed again.