Senator Onahole

absolute fucking cinema. i'm so proud of you all

such a good reaction image

you can honestly be having the worst day of your life, open tumblr and there's your long time mutual who has recently gotten really into toy story yaoi just posting away

I love when people criticize tiktok and then the notes are full of people like "ok but tumblr is just as bad" no bitch it isn't. imagine if popularity was determined by how hot you are. imagine how much that would suck. not for me of course i'd rock that shit but imagine it for you guys

just ask that person out, the worst thing they can say is an esoteric incantation that topologically inverts your body

there’s a japanese radish just below this post but you can’t reach it

the second radish is 29 feet away

this is legitimately the funniest post on this site

just saw a pigeon doing the puffed up courtship dance thing to another pigeon, and as he was strutting around he suddenly stopped for a split second to do a very brief preen-peck at his own side, then returned to the strutting around. and i surprised myself by instantly losing respect for the male pigeon in that moment, like come on man i appreciate you had an itch or whatever but how is she supposed to feel special when you're getting distracted by bullshit like that? which on reflection i don't endorse, i mean those are pretty harsh dating norms i'm imposing on these pigeons, from a total outsider perspective, for no reason. probably not all girl pigeons are as uptight about that sort of thing as i would apparently be if i was a girl pigeon, maybe she even found it endearing who knows, i don't know her. it's none of my business really. sorry pigeons.

stop deactivating

i thought we all agreed we were here forever

"are you gonna take those pills the rest of your life?" you mean my molecules? why surely you wouldn't deprive me of my molecules. they are shaped exactly just so, you see. my molecules

do you know how hard someone had to work to make my molecules into their molecule shapes??

they invented a new shape of molecule just for me and you want me to what, not absorb it???

reblog to remind somebody about their molecules

people who shape molecules at their jobs found this post and they're in the notes being happy to be appreciated. go take your fucking molecules