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@semispeakingautie85
🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈 autistic autigender ace and chronically ill. She/Her
I write about - autism, ADHD, APD, MCAS, ME, dysautonomia.
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Ability to write clearly varies and am not doing lots of editing as used to because it tiring me too much. Only edit to make enough sense.
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I get a lot of questions about semiverbalism and what it means. I have a few posts on semiverbalism, however most of them are about what it means to me. So, here’s what semiverbalism is. What it means to other people, and what it can mean.
I encourage people to please correct me if I’m wrong or even add onto it. I will edit this post if I get something wrong! I acknowledge that semiverbalism is a HUGE spectrum.
Semiverbalism can mean;
Speaking in only echolalia or scripts
Speaking in short sentances (example: “I love you” gets shortened to “love you” or “love”)
Speaking only when spoken too
Speaking words out of order and words not coming out correctly
Saying something and it not coming out the same as what you want/thought
Stuttering over your words frequently and talking incoherently
Saying things you don’t mean
Speaking being hard
Having very little words in your vocabulary
Overall, semiverbal as a whole means that speech is hard or speech is incoherent to those around you. Semiverbalism is very individual to the person and is a very personal experience. I know I’m probably not listing all of what makes someone semiverbal.
Please if you’re semiverbal then share your experience! I’d love to hear what makes you semiverbal.
Dangers of being alone and autistic
TW: hate crimes
As someone who’s autistic, it’s very dangerous to go out by myself. I’m pretty visibly autistic. I stim, I look at the ground when I walk, I use aac, and I just am visibly “odd” or autistic. This itself is dangerous. People can and will try to attack you. I’ve had multiple instances of people yelling at me on the street. I’m very lucky to be able to go to a few places in my very small town by myself, however these places are maybe a five minute walk from my house and I’ve done the route about five hundred times. I do rarely now go because I’m afraid of having a meltdown in public as my meltdowns have become more frequent.
Being alone as an autistic person is dangerous in general. People stare, people point at me, people baby me. In general it isn’t a good time. I have people all the time ask me why I don’t go out by myself, or why I can’t. And one of the reasons is simple, it’s dangerous.
Please feel free to Reblog with your experiences in public to bring awareness, I don’t think it’s talked about enough.
I have too high anxiety to go out alone because of the amount of times strangers have shouted at me, physically threatened me, bullied me, had a go at me, tutted, huffed, stared or just been nasty to me.
I used to think it was my fault I was scared to go out, that it was a phobia, but actually I think anyone would be if they had all the things happened to them that has happened to me.
I didn’t even think I was obviously Autistic.
I do look at the ground and often walk in patterns on the ground, which is a way to stim.
I get shouted at for doing the wrong thing, not understanding the social rules. Or I just get picked on because I look like an easy target.
I am also not good with traffic. I get really out of it and have walked in front of cars.
Gotten lost because I have gotten confused about public transport.
After having a seizure in public, thats now freaked me out too.
And having a public meltdown or shutdown is not good either if by yourself.
And like, having a stranger shout at you is likely to cause a meltdown and thats not safe which, can, and has escalated. I was with someone but had I been alone? Thats a really scary thought.
While it's true that for some people, (certain) stims are an easy way to observe distress, I think there needs to be more awareness in allistic people that a lot of autistic people just stim for the sake of it, simply because were understimulated and / or we just dont control our bodies movements.
I've been repeatedly asked if I'm fine by so called mental health professionals for rocking etc, who know I'm autistic. The immediate assumption is this is a sign of distress instead of my natural body language / movement. Less assuming, when you know someone and their stims well you might be able to tell that x stim means x emotion or situation, but for the rest of us, just maybe, dont? It's also just a bunch of stigma surrounding certain stims, because if I had been tapping my fingers etc i wouldn't have been assumed in distress. It's not my fault my body likes to rock.
What does semiverbalism mean to me?
It means; I talk mostly in shorter sentences. It means I struggle with getting the right words out. It means that I skip words and my sentences come out jumbled. It means that “I see you” comes out as “see” or “see you”. It means that I can’t get words and sentences out exactly when I want. It means that when I talk I slur my words or talk very quietly. It means that I have frequent speech loss episodes several times a day. It means that my jaw feels like it isn’t apart of my body and is alien because talking feels so weird. It means a lot of things. I’m semiverbal.
At times I can come off as verbal. I’m not. I struggle with speech ALWAYS. Just because I can say a few sentences at a time sometimes doesn’t mean I’m not semiverbal. My speech is valid, and I struggle constantly with it. It continues to get worse and I don’t know where I’ll end up at, but I’m happy that my speech is where it is now.
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Language, understanding and use of, very complicated and multifaceted. Some people know complicated words and jargon, struggle with sentence structure and grammar. Some people few spoken vocabulary words, abundant AAC language. Some people speak very fluently, struggle with writing and reading. Some people limited words and memory, new words have to replace old words. Some people can communicate on par with others but it takes more effort or concentration. Some people variable language understanding and use. Some people no language at all, only pictures and ideas. All good and important. Not all people have language skills as you expect them. Be kind to yourself :)
I really dislike how my body reacts when i get sensory overloaded or start to shut down. The way I react to is;
I get really tired and feel very sleepy.
My head starts to feel really heavy.
I can't concentrate on anything around me. I'm more likely make mistakes in what i'm currently doing. Kind of like loosing my skills.
I get sensory overloaded really easily.
I'm more likely to snap, yell and get angry with people around me.. even if i don't mean to.
I can feel my body heating up and i start to feel clammy (esp. when i'm driving)
..... and probably more which i haven't caught up on yet. My best way to cope with it, is getting away from the situation. However that's not always an option, so i always have my noise cancelling headphones with me.
How does your body react to becoming sensory overloaded?
Autism advocacy is interesting.
It's interesting in the sense that part of Autism is "Social and Communication deficits". Why does that make this interesting?
Because it means I often can not participate in advocacy myself because I do not understand what exactly we're advocating for or what it means.
A lot of advocacy wants to force big changes but do not explain what type of changes we should implement or how that will help those with moderate-high support needs Autistics. Which makes it harder to understand or "get on board".
We are all Autistic. But some of us still need more support than others. This is not excluding others. This is fact.
I need to put some level of trust into Autism advocates because I do not have the ability to advocate that way. Autism limits my abilities to do so. If my NT parent can not understand the advocacy, it means I will struggle too. I need to trust that there are people advocating for people like me and that they are being listened to as well.
people love to ignore that adhd is a spectrum with different levels of support needs and it effects every person differently.
some people with adhd can adapt to neurotypical society better than others, can function without meds or don't need them every day. some adhders are able to have successful careers and some aren't and they can't even finish their education.
most people's preconceived notions of adhd are almost entirely based on low support needs adhders so please remember about people with adhd who have higher support needs - our experiences are also important.
Yes i wish people understood how severe ADHD can be and also how other conditions can make it worse. ADHD is worse with fatigue and chronic illness can make you constantly fatigued!
Autism and being Exhausted
Lil Penguin Studios/Autism Happy Place
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Alexithymia and poor Interoception meant I wasn’t aware of just how much routine change and sensory issues were dysregulating me.
Now I am paying attention to these things its a shock.
I dont understand why I cant do things. I know autism but it still doesnt make sense in my head but when I think about trying to do it just thinking that makes me close to meltdown / shutdown. And then my mother doesnt really understand either so she wants me to explain but I CANT because I dont know! I dont know! I just know I cant!
Having to explain something to other people in order for them to understand that its our disability that prevents us but not understanding the why ourselves.
I have found it helpful to find someone else’s words. A video/article/comment/infographic that explains why we can find something hard, even if its not specific.
Assumptions really annoy me like crazy. Other autistics feel like this?
Other Autistics are bad with making assumptions too. And professionals.
Oh your married, must have low support needs.
Massive assumption!
My wife’s whole family is neurodivergent, either autistic or ADHD including her.
Being with a neurotypical would have been impossible for her.
She’s lower support, doesn’t work and gives me a huge amount of support. I could not survive without her.
Because I have worked, must have low support needs!
From home. Part-time. Flexible hours. Max of 3 months with 6-12 months in between. No phones. No meetings.
Everything else taken care for me. Cooking, cleaning, admin etc. No socialising, no going out, no doing anything fun because exhaustion.
Not washing, not shaving, not seeing even family.
My wife doing most of the communication for me.
So even with every accommodation possible, Burnout, meltdowns, shutdowns. Taking months to recover.
My marriage isn’t like a neurotypical marriage and my “work” wasn’t what most people would think of work being.
But I had to survive. Living far below the poverty line and needing financial support.
I am not high supports, but I am also higher then people realise when they know I am married and have, in the past, worked.
Problem I find is that I don’t realise that people have make assumptions. Then they say something that confuses me, makes no sense. I tense to not ask clarification, as you know communication disability.
It takes my wife to point out to me whats happened.
Consider this a "Master-masterpost" about autism and terminology
(written by an early diagnosed nonverbal higher support needs autistic, meaning that I can only write about what I know. This is about a medical perspective because the medical perspective is my everyday life. It can sound pathologizing, but all I want to do is explain terms and some history)
Hello autistics who aren't well-versed in "high support needs autistic" circles and want to learn more, especially with autism acceptance mo
"Ok, I read that, but what should I say for the situation when I suddenly can't speak anymore?"
- Common are "speech loss" or "verbal shutdown", but here is a big list with suggestions:
If you suddenly can't speak/struggle to speak: losing words losing speech/speech loss no mouth words out of words speech loss episode
"Why do people still talk about severity when it comes to autism? Why do NTs always want to categorise us?" - a double link
- alright, apparently we have to do this again, here: I just saw one of those "autism isn't linear, it's a spectrum" posts again and one pi
"Everyone is talking about autism levels. Are support needs the same as autism levels? What are support needs about?"
- there's a TL;DR if you want a quick answer:
With autism acceptance month coming up, this post aims to make the difference between autism levels and support needs more clear, because th
And please remember that a lot of different countries, and therefore many different diagnostic manuals, educational systems, and experiences clash on Tumblr.
My country has very little autism awareness, so I thought I'm one of the lower support needs ones. Then I saw people in the tags here. I'm s
And yes, doctors, psychologists, and teacher aides can make mistakes. They can use incorrect words. They can have outdated views. Don't think just because it's their job, that they know absolutely everything about autism and that they're always up to date. They only know what they learned, and especially what's relevant for their job. And many unfortunately don't make an effort to understand the whole autism spectrum, they're specialised in one particular group of us and may have a vast knowledge there, but not on the rest of the spectrum.
could you do a poll about support needs?
what are your support needs*?
unsure / prefer not to answer !! (this can be a difficult question.)
low.
medium-low.
medium.
medium-high.
high.
*support needs : support needs refer to how much help someone needs in order to complete day-to-day activities, i.e. washing, feeding yourself, using the bathroom, etc. someone with higher support needs will need more help (likely needing a full-time caretaker) & someone with lower support needs will need less help (likely being able to take care of themself either completely or for the most part).
a reminder that this represents the tumblr userbase alone, not autistic people as a whole !! as high support needs autistics may be unable to use this site without help, or at all, do not discredit the amount of autistic people in the whole world who have higher support needs.
allistics do not vote, even if you have high support needs due to a different disability. this is about autism, only !! thank you.
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Autism and Phone Calls
Neurodivergent_lou
its just so fucking unfair that disabled people need extra support but in order to actually get that extra support we have to have both the energy and ability to express ourselves to deal with the bureaucracy of getting that support and i just. i am so tired.
