golden child, lion boy

“alice is a good friend, and i always felt like i knew her pretty well, but now i don’t know.  i’m worried about the people she spends her time with and aligns herself with.  she wouldn’t …  you know.  would she?”

“a lot of what i said for annette applies here too.  i love ‘em both a lot, so i can’t help but feel a little overprotective of them.  they’re my cousins, after all.  and especially with — well, with everything that’s going on, i mean.  i’m really worried about what it’s gonna be like for them next year when i’m not in school anymore.” // @wishbonehearts

“well, i sure hope i do.  i really don’t know.  i mean, before they took lily, i would’ve said none of them are actually capable, but.  i have to believe that we’re all gonna make it out.  there’s no alternative here.”

“i dunno.  i know — i know — logically, there isn’t anything i could have done.  y’know, for uncle harry.  i know that.  but i just wish — if there was anything that could’ve stopped this from happening.  anything at all.  like one little action could’ve made all the difference, or — fuck.”

“is it a cop-out to say i wish i was taller?  that, and i wish i wasn’t such a people-pleaser.  and i’ve gotten over a lot of that since i was younger, but i still just want everyone to like me and that’s unrealistic, especially given …  well, everything.”

“rose is a really headstrong girl. i mean, that kinda comes with the weasley name. she’s doing a good job as head student, and i respect her a lot, but i wish she’d lighten up a little. or at least find a balance, or a hobby, or something.  i say that with the utmost love.” // @bewareofthorns

“annette is a really sweet girl who really needs to surround herself with less questionable people. i worry about her a lot, y’know? and i feel bad that i can’t always be around to look out for her. i just wish she’d stand up for herself every once in a while.  but i know how hard it can be.” // @anniedelabee

z laughs again, and shakes his head. “oh, no. no.” he sets the boy with a grin, and slaps a hand down onto his shoulder. “wishful thinking is exactly what it is.” it could be lighthearted, a joke of some description. but the way he says it, the darkness in his voice, the just-too-hard squeeze on louis’ shoulder is proof enough: it’s not something to laugh at. then his eyebrows raise. “got your big boy boots on today, huh?” he doesn’t want to hurt louis. he’s never wanted to hurt anyone. but the boy is asking for it: z’s life will be hell for a while if he doesn’t. one last chance, he figures, for the weasley boy to turn tail. “or are you just a lot thicker than the rest of the world gives you credit? because i won’t be underestimated, not by the likes of you, mate.”

louis finally broke eye contact with z to cast a cautious glance to the unwelcome hand on his shoulder.  he tensed his jaw at the squeeze, though he refused to give any more of a reaction.  z was trying to intimidate him.  if it came to blows, realistically louis didn’t stand much of a chance.  his hand-to-hand had never been too stellar, and he was confident that z would probably knock him around before he had a chance to pull out his wand.  “you don’t scare me, diggory.”  he finally said, returning his cold gaze to meet z’s.  and he meant it.  after everything he’d dealt with since the school year began, it would take a lot more than this school bully routine to shake louis down.  “you’re gonna have to try a lot harder than this, if that’s your aim.”  

z shrugs. “i built my schedule around what newt classes i was allowed to take.” he replies, and it seems a little like it could be a self-insult, but z couldn’t care less. sure, he’s not exactly the smartest kid in school. he knows it. “stop projecting your wishful thinking onto me.” z stands taller, rolls his shoulders, and takes a step towards louis, until he’s just too close for comfort. “oh yeah, weasel.” he replies, voice dropping. his chin lifts, and he drags his eyes slowly over the other boy’s frame, up to his eyes. “i do think you misjudged me.”

it must have been nice not to choose between classes, louis mused.  he’d had a hell of a time settling on what was going to best suit his future, and even so, he still felt guilty for not continuing on with herbology every time he saw neville.  somehow, the rational half of his brain was still chugging along enough to prevent him from voicing any of that.  “wishful thinking is a strong term for it, i think,”  he said instead.  was that any better?  perhaps not.  louis maintained eye contact, fighting the urge to throw the unwanted attention off of him.  a year ago, he would’ve folded, shrunk away, only ever wanting to be what other people wanted him to be.  but he’d changed.  grown, as far as he know.  maybe he couldn’t out-intimidate, but he could at least stand his ground.  “on second thought . . .  maybe not.”

Anthea pursed their lips. This was what happened when they tried to be nice - people didn’t appreciate it, and that just made them less likely to be nice again. But really after everything that happened, they probably should cut him a little more slack. “Listen, I really don’t think I can believe you at all about that. I’m not kidding when I say you look like shit. Like the shittiest I remember seeing anyone look.”

louis thought he caught a reaction, but it was gone in a flash and he wasn’t entirely sure if he hadn’t imagined it.  still, to be safe, he mumbled a “sorry.”  he straightened up, trying to give the appearance of someone who had their shit together.  at least an impression of how he generally looked, at least.  “you really know how to make a guy feel special, you know that?  i think i get it.  i just haven’t been sleeping well, is all.  it’s fine.”

“oh, don’t flatter yourself.” z says matter-of-factly, a cocky sort of smirk painted on his face. “one: i’m way out of your league, bud - and two: i’d have noticed if you were in this free period, because i’d have made efforts to avoid having to listen to you whine on and on about… who even cares what?” he runs his tongue over his teeth, and laughs. “how cynical of you. can’t you believe i’m just inquiring out of concern for your education?”

truth be told, louis was really only half-listening to anything that z had to say.  the anxious, angry, barely-slept wired energy was still coursing through his body, as it had been since the quidditch match, and he was pretty sure that was his own heartbeat he could hear pounding in his ears.  “so it sounds like you took it a step further and you built your schedule around mine?  that’s kinda cute.”  there was a vague sense of poking the bear, that perhaps he was playing with fire, sniping at z like this.  the boy had always been such a mystery, even louis didn’t quite know what he was getting himself into here.  “i had no idea you were so concerned about anything that had to do with me — maybe i misjudged you.”  he had zero doubts about misjudging the diggory boy, but he was already in this deep. 

leander was supposed to use this hour as a study period; he usually took the time to sit in peaceful solitude in the greenhouses or an empty potions’ classroom, to try and retrace any lessons that ended in unforeseen fire that week. but there was a lot going on this week that didn’t include fire or botched lessens  —  even for someone who hated reading the newspaper first thing in the morning, the news was hard to escape. and it hit too close to home, closer than leander felt he could let on. it was hard to focus even on the classes he looked forward to the most. and it was just a study period. who would get on his case for taking one day off? 

but, because leander was used to spending this time alone and away from the busy parts of the castle  —  he hadn’t quite prepared for seeing anyone else. his mind was elsewhere, as it too often was; he really needed that preparation to have any hope of not making a fool of himself in conversation. he slid to a belated stop when he turned a sharp corner and saw louis. leander took a second to try and read the room  —  the room was, of course, a hallway, and also just him and louis, which should’ve made it easier to read and yet.  “ fuck, “  he agreed, and then paused and looked away from him.  “ sorry, I don’t know why I repeated that. if it helps, “  he broke off and took a half step closer to the gryffindor. then he broke off from that movement, too.  “ if it helps, I just got here. so it’d have, you know, been a little hard to see me. “

there was an undeniable sense of relief when the fog cleared and he realized that it was none other than leander standing before him.  of all the people in this nightmare of a castle, he couldn’t make these feelings go away — maybe lily, but that still wouldn’t fix the stress over the battle lines being drawn all over the castle, nor could she remedy the damned registry threatening to upend his life — but seeing leander put a small fraction of a smile on his face, and that had value.  

louis’s mouth opened slightly in puzzlement when leander replied with a simple echo of 'fuck.’  but hearing that he was just trying to help . . .  well, it helped.  his look of confusion softened into as much of a smile as he could manage at the moment.  “if it helps,”  he repeated,  “i just got here too, so.  i guess we’re both intruding.  call it even?”

“Lou,” he accidentally blurted out, standing up from the floor, rattled for a moment and forgetting that he hasn’t used that nickname in ages. “I mean, Louis.” His golden cousin’s vibrance has always somehow terrified and intimidated Hugo, and so he wasn’t the most comfortable around Louis. He couldn’t exactly pinpoint when they had gotten so distant—which was Hugo’s fault anyway—but to see his perfect cousin crumbling down greatly unnerved Hugo. This was probably the first time Hugo had ever seen Louis less than composed, which made him grow even more agitated. On the floor was his sketchpad, with the unmistakable color of red taking up most of its white sheet. He had been trying to get Lily’s hair color the right shade. Cheeks darkening at being caught, he quickly stooped down and hid the drawing. 

“I…uh…d- Don’t you have class right now?” he asked, weirdly feeling dumb. Hugo, a Ravenclaw, feeling dumb. What would his mum say now if she were to see him like this? He was supposed to offer words of comfort—to at least try and soothe Louis’ obvious pain. Not asking dumb questions like this.

louis looked from hugo, to the spot where he had been sitting a moment prior, and back to hugo where he stood now.  he could hear the change in his voice when he switched from an old nickname to the standard greeting.  he wondered when they had grown so far apart that hugo didn’t feel comfortable addressing him as anything other than his full name.  the thought made his heart sink even further.  his focus changed to the floor — caught up in feelings of stress and vague guilt and so many other things louis couldn’t name — and he had barely caught the flash of red before hugo hid it.  he’d barely had time to even wonder what it was, beyond just another thing standing between them.  “yeah.”  he finally answered.  it felt like he was underwater and hugo was talking to him from above the surface.  he swallowed the lump in his throat and continued on.  “i just.  um.  i had to, uh.”  i ran out of class.  “i just needed to step out for a second, y’know?”

there’s a guilt that seeps into the marrow of z’s bones at the sight of the weasley boy - not for anything he’s done, not for louis specifically. but for the loss of family. family that might never be returned. he can’t imagine what he would do if any of his was stolen from him. he can picture the destruction he’d wreak, though. hogwarts burned to the ground; any of the culprits with it. he knows how to create fiendfyre. he knows all sorts - he’d destroy the earth, leave it blackened. pour salt over the ground to ensure that nothing more could grow, ever.

but he paints on a smug sort of look, tilts his jaw half open. he’s not the kind of person to swagger, but he injects as much arrogance as he is capable of into his step. it’s not much, but it’s enough. “need to get your eyes checked, huh?” z asks, leaning against a pillar. he doesn’t want to rub it in, but he has to. “gotta say, lou, you’ve had better looking days. hang on - you’re not in this free period. getting a rebellious streak, now, are you?”

louis allowed his head to rest against the cold stone wall, exasperated and unwilling to deal with the boy in front of him.  he shot a meager glare z’s way, but it was lacking in much venom right now.  “what, do you have my schedule memorized?  didn’t know you felt that way about me, diggory.  i’m touched.”  he finally pushed himself off the wall, trying to summon up as much of his own swagger as he could.  “what’s it to you if i’m where i’m supposed to be or not?  i wasn’t aware you cared much for other people, let alone little ol’ me.  just — piss off.”

     ariadne was, by principle, never in class.     she could pass it off, always, as the raverclaw ( and diggle ) tendency to be slightly ditzy, all over the place, and easily confused.     of course, that was extremely far from the truth.       she simply never went to class because she didn’t want to,  being far too busy stuck in her labrinyth of lies to dedicate anytime to school work.    her short stature was hidden almost entirely by the pile of books she had heaped in her hands,  trudging from the library to her favourite study corner that none of the prefects had yet to find. 

    her footsteps paused as soon as she heard words,    she hadn’t noticed the figure of louis pressed up against the walls, and had begun to regret her decision to walk this way in the first place in fear of having to explain herself.   her hands lowered so that her smiling face could peep out from behind the stack.     

          ❝  it’s ok! no one ever really does !  ❞ peppy and polite, she decided it’d be better if she pressed the questions to avoid interrogation on her own actions,  ❝ you alright?  ❞ head cocked to the side slightly,  ❝ you really look like you could use a nap – or a chocolate frog …   ❞ 

louis eyed the walking stack of books, nearly blaming it on a stress-induced hallucination until ariadne’s face popped out above the top.  his face scrunched up in mild confusion when she spoke, but she continued before he could say anything.  i’m okay.”  he barely believed it himself, but louis hoped he was better at convincing others.  “both of those things sound really great, but i’m fine.”  he took another look at the books and cocked his head.  “what’s all that for?  where are you headed with all of those?”  the library was definitely the opposite direction, and that was a lot of books for one person to carry.  louis glanced back at the classroom, but he figured he had already run out — the damage had been done.  it wouldn’t kill him to take a breather, right?