Bee Mindfull

In my family, women are often victims of abuse. More times than less they’re unable to cope with the amount of trauma endured, they're marked as delinquents. Brazen and problematic, the family won’t tolerate their behavior so they, isolate and ostracize them. This process pushes them down a hole of loneliness and depression. The frustration from the women in my family transfers from emotional to physical abuse and the recipients are; the children. 

The cycle of abuse carries on through generations of women and children. I often find myself considering the women my senior's past traumas when a disagreement arises. I find that a lot of times they aren't able to consider me in these situations. However, when I step back and look at the bigger picture I see every mother-daughter relationship is now estranged. I don’t want that to be my mother and my situation. But the silent treatment never ceases. I had to learn to communicate to fight the stagnation of my silence. Any conversation turns to me submitting to her anger. I don’t want to aid this behavior by, continuously playing these roles. 

I always feel like I’m tip-toeing around high-tempered situations. I’m not sure if I do this to victimize myself. I’m trying to be open to all realities, in hopes of finding a solution. But! Maybe my attempts to see me as the problem is yet another way I am trying to submit just to alleviate the tension.