sea ruled.

          the sky may love the sea , but together , all they cause is destruction. tempests that swallow up lives , that leave nothing but disaster and loss in their wake. is that what this is ? the quiet and still eye of the storm ? how much more could haruka endure ? but she knows the answer , knows it as surely as the tides change. life outside the window moves , it continues as though haruka’s heart had never stopped as though the end of the world is not at stake. but even as her eyes , try to focus away from the brewing tension here , all she seems to see is michiru’s reflection. translucent. like a ghost. and oh , how close that reality had been. michiru’s last screams ( haruka ! ) , the sound as her body hit the ground. will that lifeless thud ever stop echoing inside her mind ? or will it live there forever , mimicked in the very day until every sound is michiru’s final fall ?

         except it wasn’t her final fall. haruka’s eyes linger on the other’s reflection. tasting tasting fear , relief , and anger on her tongue , there’s no telling which way the wind will carry her next. for as long as she can remember , she ran from those. running so fast and so far , she almost convinced herself she’d outrun them. inside her dress shoes , toes clench , instinct begging to take over. but she’s trapped. by michiru , by the mission , by a million unspoken things. 

         i knew. haruka closes her eyes , letting the knowledge settle on her chest. they were supposed to be partners , in this together. it wouldn’t have stopped the mission , knowing. though a soft voice in the back of haruka’s head isn’t as certain. and as much as she wishes she were stone , the break in michiru’s voice confirms just how uncertain , how vulnerable this information is. because michiru had broken their agreement , because michiru ran to her death rather than watch haruka die. because maybe something mattered more than the mission. 

         again , silence follows the other woman’s words. how easy it would be to say she tried to take her own life because the messiah needed the talisman. the words were there , laid out in her mind clearly. but … it wasn’t the truth , not really. haruka turns her head , opening her eyes to look at michiru. and for a moment , the stone crumbles. every bandage , every bruise ( the ones not covered by the oversized shirt ) reads like a tragedy against her partner’s pale skin. the muscles in her arms react , but she holds them back. holds herself back ( like always , haruka. like the coward you’ve become. how the hell was your heart pure enough to hold a talisman ? ). the question is still there , hanging in the air between them. it’s answer brewing inside haruka’s chest. averting her gaze to a spot just left of michiru , she finally finds her voice , though there’s a rough quality to them. rougher still than the usual gravel tone. 

                   “ don’t make me say it , michiru. ”

@searulcr​ i did the thing !!!!

        ‘  say what ?’   it’s a question that is phrased without wanting an answer ; a statement ; a demand.  the power that her voice commanded in that instant was as strong as ever - spoken with the strength of the battering waves against granite cliffs ; a relentless crescendo. spoken with her entire lungs, her entire body (what little strength remained of it) put behind those two words.  it was more neptune speaking then michiru,         the frail battered michiru like a bird with a broken wing had to rely on the ancient spirit she housed within her to keep her consciousness, let alone to speak. and so she spoke,    with that harshness and wisdom that someone could only wield after a millennia of seeing kingdoms fall. 

                watery eyes were blinked back to ice,  freezing over like the surface of the planet that she commanded.  ‘ that you wouldn’t of done the same ?   ‘   again ; it’s rhetorical. because haruka did do the same,      breaking down as many of their boundaries with a single bullet as michiru had done with thousands.    but what right does michiru have to lecture -- the girl who had planned to move with the weight of the world on her back.    such a self-sacrificial soul from the moment she was born.      but she’s not perfect, or pure, she’s hypocritical, and self-involved ( but not to the point she cares about herself ), she would give ( and had given ) her life with the desire of nothing in return. because the ocean is cold, and unrelenting, and it drowns anyone who gets too close. the ocean may be life, but above ( beneath ) all it is death. and who would prefer the riptide to the ever-present breeze.                  haruka could call herself a coward; but it was michiru who had taken the cowards way out. it was michiru who constantly pushed herself to her limits, who orchestrated her own demise, her own fate. but she had tried to play fate; in all honesty. at all points she knew what was coming, and yet she tried to train the two of them down a different path, where at least one of them could live. but fate was an ever fickle mistress, and an even colder bitch.                

                                     ‘     if you don’t want to say anything ;    i’ll just get my stuff.’