to live for the hope of it all

Through a series of carefully coded notes via Edgar Bones (as if the auror had nothing better to do with his time) Regulus had arranged to meet Sirius in a hired room at the Leaky Cauldron to discuss the recent(ish) changes in Regulus’ allegiance. The room had been booked under Edgar’s name, lest someone nosy took an interest in the Black family name. He was too shit scared to invite Sirius to his home - not only due to the risk of a family member showing up and killing his brother, but also the uncomfortable reality of Sirius potentially clocking two sets of shoes or jackets in the hallway, or a second toothbrush in the bathroom before Regulus had chance to discuss everything. Plus, he wasn’t entirely sure how this would go and he wasn’t sure he wanted his brother knowing where he lived in case it all went to shit.

The whole day running up to their meeting Regulus had felt sick, desperately wanting his brother’s approval and yet fearing his brother may turn him away because of his past. He’d got to the Leaky Cauldron half an hour early and had spent some time setting up silencing charms and wards around the room, just in case of eavesdroppers. Once that was done, all he had left to do was pace around nervously and wait to see if Sirius would show up after all.

"I know that you are," Bucky said, shooting a lazy grin in Steve's direction. Steve was leaning heavily against the doorframe into their bedroom, his gaze firm upon Bucky who was sprawling out across their obscenely large bed. It appeared that two super soldiers needed a custom made bed - strong enough to hold the two of them, and wide enough that they weren't cramped. Bucky didn't think he would ever get used to the softness of a bed beneath his back, but with Steve's help he felt more and more like himself each day.

Alongside Steve, the newest member of their family was entirely obsessed with Bucky and so the scene before them was unfolding. Alpine was curled against Bucky's bare chest, snoozing peacefully. "I can't upset our child," Bucky said, gesturing to the cat. "And we both know that I'm the favourite parent. She clawed your leg the other day..." he trailed off, running a finger lightly down Alpine's back. "So I'm being thrown out of my own bed because you won't disturb Alpine?" Steve said, his face almost twisted into an adorable pout.

Once again, Bucky was struck by the realisation that everything between them was acceptable and good and right. Back in the 1940s he would never have dreamed of being able to share a bed with Steve romantically, or holding his hand as they walked down the street. They lived in a house that they owned collectively, and the only reason people looked at the pair of them on the street was when they were recognised as Avengers - though their ever-growing collection of hats had started to reduce that recognition, and their neighbours were good respectful people.

"Say you're jealous and I'll move her," Bucky said, his tone teasing. "I'm not jealous," Steve shot back almost as swiftly, and so Bucky settled back into the soft blankets. "Well then, Alpine and I will see you in the morning," he said smugly. He could practically feel the weight of Steve's eye roll, before he heard some mumbled words. "Sorry, what was that? I'm over a hundred years old, I can't hear you," he said, cupping his ear for emphasis. "Okay fine, I'm jealous," Steve said, moving towards the edge of their bed. With a victorious grin, Bucky scooped up Alpine from his chest and set her down on the floor. She mewed in protest, but slunk out of their bedroom to go and find something else to entertain herself.

Using the dusky looking-glass she’d swiped from her mother, Nancy sighed at the unruly state of her curls before she finally accepted defeat and decided to scrape them back into a tight ponytail. She’d already bathed twice today, but there was no way to tame her wild hair – not without hours of time on her side, and time was not something she had. She’d barely managed to stomach the meagre food that her mother had put onto the table today, purchased with the small wage that Nancy brought home from the army. Her brother had eagerly wolfed down Nancy’s portion of the dinner without a second thought, though her keen eyes had spotted that he’d slipped Holly an extra chunk of bread under the table. “Mum, are you sure I should go in this dress rather than in armour?” Nancy asked, smoothing her hands over the nicest dress they owned which was several seasons out of fashion and would clearly show to anyone at court that the Wheelers were poor. “You look lovely, darling. He wants to see you,” Karen said, her hand lightly resting on Nancy’s cheek. “He wants to see you because you’ve charmed him. He doesn’t want to see you because you are in his army, if it were then the request would come through the commander rather than the King himself. He wants to see you, my brave and brilliant girl.” Nancy leaned into her mother’s touch, taking a deep breath. “What do we do if it’s all gone wrong? What if I’m not supposed to be talking to him, what if…” “Stop worrying. If things go wrong, we will deal with that. For now, go and enjoy your evening,” Karen gave Nancy a little shove towards their door.

The pistol tucked into the back of the waistband of her jeans did nothing to soothe Nancy’s aching nerves as she pulled her car to a slow stop outside the gates of Steve’s compound, his guards practically staring a hole into her soul as they checked her number plate against what she’d advised Steve earlier. The last time she’d been here there’d been no need to provide her license plate beforehand, given that she’d arrived in a taxi whilst she was sat on Steve’s lap, her lips attached to his neck. One night of passion to break the growing tension between them had been their silent agreement, and it’d been the hottest night of Nancy’s life. When she’d crept out the following morning she’d grabbed one of Steve’s hoodies as a memory of the evening, but she had been in complete ignorance of the fact that she had left with another more permanent reminder of the evening. It’d been three weeks since her period had been supposed to arrive, and a whole week since she’d finally summoned the courage to do a pregnancy test and saw a positive result. She had told nobody whilst she’d been wrestling with what to do, ghosting messages from her friends and family (and Steve) over the last week whilst she decided whether she wanted to keep the child. Getting tangled with a mob boss in such a permanent way was a risk that she wasn’t sure she wanted to take, but slowly she had come to the realisation that if it had to be anyone then she didn’t really mind the idea of Steve being the father of her child. She still couldn’t explain it fully, but he was different to the other mafia men she knew and dealt with.

The drive from Boston down to Indianapolis had been exhausting but it was sure to be worth it when Steve got home from work. She’d laid the groundwork early saying that she wasn’t going to be able to visit him (or for him to visit her) on the weekend of his birthday because she had impending deadlines but that she was going to come down in the week after. His birthday had quite nicely fallen on a Saturday this year, meaning that Nancy had spent most of Thursday and almost all of Friday driving so that she could make it back to surprise him. Robin had been nothing but a saint in all of this, and she’d ensured that she had swapped her shifts so she could be home at their shared apartment to let Nancy in for the surprise. Throwing her arms around her friend, Nancy hugged her tight before she drew back. “No offense, Robs, I really want to catch up but I also really want to shower before Steve gets back,” she said apologetically, and Robin just gave her a shove. “Go shower. When he gets here, I’ll send him straight up to his room without saying exactly why…and then I will make myself scarce for the night, because I do not want to hear whatever nasty shit the two of you are going to get up to,” Robin screwed her face up in playful disgust as Nancy went to drop her bag in Steve’s room before she quickly went to freshen up and shower.

(soulmate au)

Just looking out of the window of their cabin into the glistening white snowflakes that were falling heavily from the thick clouds overhead was making Nancy feel cold. The log-fire was roaring, and she had a cup of hot chocolate in hand that Steve had made, but the snow was falling with no sign of stopping any time soon. "It's a good job you went out yesterday and stocked up on food, otherwise we'd have been caught short," Nancy hummed, grateful that they'd had the mind to actually check the weather forecast.   

Normally when they got to the cabin, their first few days was spent eating whatever food they had packed to bring with them in the car or whatever they had left in the cupboards from their last visit. This time though they had their ten month old son in tow for a Christmas getaway before they went back to Hawkins to spend actual Christmas day with her family. Karen had told them in no uncertain terms that she expected her grandson’s first Christmas to be spent with them, given she had missed practically all of Nancy’s pregnancy. With their baby now as a consideration, stuffing the cupboards full of fresh fruit and veg for him to chomp on was of the highest importance. She’d never known them to go through as much fresh produce before, but Ollie loved shoveling mushed up fruit and veg into his mouth. More than once she’d had sticky banana fingers tangled into her hair, but she loved her baby so much that she could never be annoyed about it.    

“It’s comin’ down thick,” Steve had his arms full with Ollie propped against his hip with his baby fingers scrambling to reach for the thermos of hot chocolate that Steve was holding. “You can have a bit when its cooled down, baby,” he promised to their son, who had absolutely no idea what Steve was talking about and continued straining towards his cup. Nancy stood up and fished a melted marshmallow out of her cup to give to Ollie. His face lit up with delight as the sugar hit his tongue, and he wiggled happily against Steve until he finally settled with his head leant against Steve’s chest. “We’ll be lucky if it clears enough for us to leave for Christmas, I’m glad I got plenty of dried food too.”   

Nancy loved this cabin with her whole heart. She’d loved it when they were secretly dating, she had loved escaping into the mountains and having a weekend completely uninterrupted. She loved it even more now that they owned it. It'd been the greatest gift Steve had ever given her, until their son came along.  Each time they came they added a little bit more decoration – photos of Nancy and Steve while she was pregnant decorated the walls and photos of Ollie as he grew were joining them. They’d bought a replica of the rug they had in their living room at home to cover the floor here, and duplicates of some of Nancy’s favourite books were scattered across shelves in between baby books and toys. It was remote enough that they didn’t get proper internet or television signal, but they had stacks of games and books that only seemed to grow with each visit.

 It felt like home, in the best way.    

Nancy knew that she was incredibly lucky to have two homes to share with her soulmate, two homes where their baby could grow and explore and learn and she was full of such gratitude every time she stepped through the doors of their cabin.  “You realise that if we don’t manage to get back to Hawkins for Christmas then you’ll have the wrath of Karen Wheeler on your head?” Nancy teased gently before taking a long sip of her hot chocolate. “Why my head? You wanted to come out here for a week before we travel down!” Steve protested, reaching for a toy from Ollie’s backpack as he started to wriggle restlessly again. “Because I’m her eldest daughter and I birthed the first grandchild and she definitely can’t be mad at me. Plus, you’re gonna do most of the driving down, therefore…your fault,” she shot him a grin before glancing out of the window again at the snow falling as she settled onto the couch. “I don’t think we’ll be doing much hiking this time…or using the hot tub. It’s gonna be buried.”  

Later that evening when Ollie had settled down for the evening, Nancy had pumped enough milk throughout the day for them to be able to open a bottle of wine. Steve, bless his soul, hadn’t touched a drop of alcohol while she’d been pregnant and still wouldn’t unless she could drink too, but it had become something of a tradition for their evenings in the cabin to be spent playing board games with a glass of wine or two. They had a new game that evening that Steve had bought Nancy for her birthday, and as she sat down at the table where Steve was laying the board she dropped a kiss against his cheek before whispering “you’re going down.” The sound of snow falling was drowned out occasionally by the cracking of the log fire, and a mixture of frustrated noises from the both of them as they got close to winning and then were blocked by the other.  Only once did Nancy have to get up to settle Ollie – he was such a good little baby, and so happy. Nancy wasn’t sure if it was just because that’s how he was, or whether some of it was influenced by him being the son of two true soulmates. He slept through most nights, allowing Nancy and Steve to just soak up quality time for the two of them.  

When morning arrived, Nancy woke up shivering and curled closer into Steve’s side. “How much do you love me?” she mumbled into his shoulder, looking up at him with bleary eyes. “With my whole heart,” Steve whispered back into her hair. “Do you wanna go and get the baby then? I’m too cold to go,” she poked his side, and Steve hardly groaned at all as he slipped out of the covers and left their room. He returned with their son who looked like an absolute picture of innocence in his pyjamas, with his thumb stuffed into his mouth. Steve settled Ollie between them before he pulled the covers back over them, grinning at Nancy before he pressed his cold feet against her legs. She would’ve jumped a mile if not for the fact Ollie took that moment to grasp at her face and start to crawl on top of her. “I’ll get you for that later, Harrington,” she hissed before peppering Ollie’s face with kisses. “I’m sure you will, darling,” Steve said, curling in closer to them. “How’s the snow? Did’ya catch a glimpse out of the window?” Nancy asked in between blowing raspberries on Ollie’s cheeks as his giggles rose louder and louder. “It’s stopped snowing, it’s a proper winter wonderland out there though. We should go and make a big snowman later on,” he suggested, wiggling Ollie’s feet. 

It wasn’t the lazy morning that they had been used to at the cabin, not with Ollie wriggling and crawling all over them seeking cuddles and kisses, but still they rose slowly. Nancy left Ollie and Steve in bed so she could grab a quick shower before dressing in her warmest jumper and trousers. Scooping up her son so that Steve could get ready, Nancy opened the suitcase that carried more clothes for Ollie than Steve and Nancy had bought as a combined pair and dug out a jumper that Karen had knitted for him. Their son liked to run around in just his diaper so it was usually a struggle to get clothes onto him, and for the clothes to remain on him throughout the day, but even Ollie seemed to be feeling the cool bite of winter as he sat good as gold for Nancy to dress him properly. “You’re my favourite little person in the whole world,” Nancy said, beaming at her son as she pressed a warm kiss to his forehead before propping him against her hip to head through to the kitchen. 

Steve had already brewed her a cup of coffee and was halfway through preparing a cooked breakfast for them all. The smell of bacon was filling the air, and some eggs were sizzling away nicely which made Nancy’s stomach growl loudly. Rather than letting Ollie down to cause chaos, she strapped him straight into his highchair and filled his cup with some juice to keep him good. “Need any help?” she asked, touching Steve’s arm briefly. “All good, Nance…won’t be long now. After breakfast we could go out into the snow for a bit, you could get the fire going so that it’s all nice and warm for when we come back in? By the time you’ve got one started breakfast will be done.” 

Breakfast passed with only a little of Ollie’s food finding it’s way onto the floor instead of into his mouth which Steve deemed a complete success, given that they were normally cleaning more food off the floor than he had eaten. They wrangled Ollie into a snowsuit which he looked so unbelievably cute in that Nancy reached for the polaroid that she’d abandoned on the table last night and snapped a photo of him with his arms in the air and a big cheeky smile. Grateful that they’d had the foresight to bring his carrier in from the car so they didn’t have to go out and try and find it, Nancy helped settle him in before they strapped Ollie to Steve’s back. “Comfy?” she asked, reaching up to press a kiss to his cheek. “Comfy and secure.” “Let’s make a snowman, then we can make some snow angels before we come in to get warm.” 

The snow was bright and dazzling, undisturbed as they stepped out into it. It was Ollie’s first proper snow and Nancy turned to watch the initial confusion turn into delight, and she led them a little further into the grounds of their cabin until she found what she deemed to be the perfect spot for making a snowman. "Given that you have the baby, I can do most of the rolling if you can lift them when they're almost done," Nancy said, not wanting to risk Ollie falling out of the carrier. She started off with a small snowball, moulded into shape between her gloved fingers before she crouched to roll it. Behind her, she could hear Steve softly talking to Ollie, pointing out various things that were in sight. She had thought that her heart had been utterly full of love for Steve before they fell pregnant, but watching him grow into a father had deepened her affections for him in a new way. He was so gentle with their son, so keen to help out and not to miss a single thing. It was everything she could've ever dreamed of and more.

Once she'd finished rolling the base of the snowman, Nancy quickly rolled a small snowball and aimed it in Steve's direction. It hit his chest squarely, and he looked at her with utter indignation. "You could've hit our son!" he said, though the corners of his lips were upturned even as he tried to pretend they weren't. "You think my aim is that bad, Harrington?" she said with a smirk. "Anyway...maybe you and Ollie could collect some rocks to use as buttons and eyes for the snowman. There should be some pretty close to the front door if you dig through the snow. I also forgot to bring a carrot out for the nose," Nancy suggested, whipping up another snowball quickly to toss at him. "This is assault," Steve hissed in her direction, though he had snatched up some snow that he was quickly balling up. He threw it, but Nancy ducked and it missed her by inches. "Go collect some nice rocks for me like a loving husband would," Nancy said, shooting him a dazzling smile. "I gave you a nice rock that sits on your finger at all times, is nothing ever enough for you?" he bemoaned, but he set about gathering a small collection of rocks.

When Steve had gathered the decoration and Nancy had 3 perfectly round sections of snowman they reconvened just near the front door. Nancy lifted Ollie from his carrier which Steve quickly shed and placed inside out of the snow, and she cradling Ollie to her as he tried to tangle his mittened fingers in her hair. With him on her hip, Nancy stepped up to the snowman as Steve lifted the sections and settled them atop each other until they had something that looked almost perfect. "Just for the finishing touches now," and she crouched beside him. Steve lightly pressed the rocks into the snowman but Nancy lifted Ollie's hand and helped him to push them in properly. When it was finished, she stood back to admire it for a moment before reaching for her camera which she handed over to Steve. "Baby's first snowman," she said with a grin, her cheek pressed to Steve's as she held Ollie up between them for the photo.

"Reckon we can find enough undisturbed snow for snow angles before we go back in?" she asked, and Steve looked at her before gesturing around him. "Nance we're literally in the mountains...there's miles and miles of snow. I think we're good. Let's go and make Ollie's first snow angel."

(best friend au stancy)

It had been a matter of ease and convenience to begin with.

Steve had a new-born baby and was therefore fairly confined to the house, and certainly was not going out on dates. Nancy had split up with Jonathan about three months after Steve had found out he was expecting a baby, with Jonathan citing that they had 'grown apart' and 'you're always with him, you're never home any more!'. Nancy wasn't quite sure how it was her fault that her best friend in the world needed desperate help getting everything ready for his impending arrival. Sure, he was going to be a single Dad but that didn't mean he had to do it all alone - not when Nancy was eager and willing to help.

Nancy had moved into Steve's spare room without a second thought, and thrown herself into a comfortable routine with her best friend until Laura came along. Then, their routine changed significantly but it was still everything Nancy wanted. Nancy didn't think she'd ever been quite so happy in her life, which was curious given she'd been in a relationship for almost six years that she thought had made her happy. She didn’t mind getting up in the night to do the night feeds for Laura, or to settle her back to sleep. Her boobs didn’t have the functions that Laura needed for food, but she still found comfort lying against Nancy’s chest and anything that quietened the baby was worth it. It was convenience, she told herself, as she found herself sleeping in Steve’s bed more often than not. Laura’s bed was in his room, it was the simplest option.

Until one morning she’d awoken with his hard erection pressed against her thigh, and it’d sent a bolt of need straight to her core. She’d shuffled out of his grasp, diving into the shower where she turned it to the coldest setting and doused herself until she felt safe to re-emerge into their home. Steve was up and making breakfast when she went downstairs, and when he touched her arm to get passed her she’d felt a jolt of electricity that she hadn’t quite felt before. She didn’t think Steve felt the same thing though, given that all he remarked on was how cold her skin was. Before she knew it, a warm cup of coffee had been pressed into her grateful fingertips. He was just thoughtful like that, and it was one of the things she loved about her dearest friend.

Later that evening, Nancy had made pathetic excuses as to why she needed to stay in her own room that night that absolutely did not boil down to what her bedside drawer contained. She’d been a bundle of nerves all day, including an embarrassing moment when she let out a soft groan when Steve touched her hip, and she needed to sort herself out. She’d put music on quietly in the background to muffle the sound and reached for her vibrator that had seen more use when she was dating Jonathan than it was seeing now, and had started working herself up when there was a soft knock on the door. “Jesus Christ,” she hissed, throwing the vibrator across the room into the corner before pausing to wonder why the hell she’d done that. Her hair was mussed up from her pillow, and she knew that if he looked at her at all he would see her hard nipples poking through the camisole she’d chosen to wear. “Nance, can I come in?” Steve asked, a strange tone to his voice. Drawing the covers up to her neck, she cast another glance to the corner now deemed as the vibrator corner and was satisfied that you couldn’t see the vibrator before calling him through.

He was shirtless.

Holy fuck.

Nancy had seen Steve shirtless before under a variety of circumstances. They’d gone swimming together before, and recently he’d lost many a shirt recently to baby sick and had simply whipped them off deciding that it was easier to clean his bare chest than to get sick out of his clothes. But Steve shirtless, in grey sweatpants, when she had worked herself half-way to orgasm was….something else. “Everything okay?” she asked, her voice strained and then her gaze dipped and she took a sharp breath. He was hard again. “I…heard what you were doing,” his cheeks were flushed, and he lifted a hand to rub awkwardly at the back of his neck. “Shit…I thought I’d…I thought you wouldn’t be able to hear. Sorry,” her own cheeks were now enflamed, and she clutched at the bedding a little tighter. “I woke up earlier as you were getting out of bed…I know what you…you had a cold shower didn’t you this morning?” “Steve…what are you-?” her question was cut off as Steve came fully into her room, setting the baby monitor onto her dresser before shutting the door behind him. “You’re single, and I’m single. We’re both adults, and we’ve both got healthy needs. I can help you…I want to help you,” he breathed, his fingers creeping ever so slowly towards where Nancy’s were still holding the bedding to cover herself. “It doesn’t need to be something. I know you’re still getting over Jon. It can be just sex,” his gaze held hers firmly, and Nancy’s brain was ticking with the possibility of it all. “We’d have to keep it secret. No telling Robs – everyone would know by morning. But it does mean we don’t have to bring strangers around Laura, and we trust each other. Just sex, no feelings involved,” she said slowly, still working her way around the possibility.

“Just sex. No feelings, just sex. It works for both of us…I won’t bring strangers around Laura, and if we needed to stop because she needs us, I know you’re not gonna be weird about it,” Steve said, his hand finally closing over hers to draw the bedding away from her.

“Just sex,” she agreed, and his mouth came down to cover hers.

So it begun. At first it was once or twice a week, always in the evenings after Laura had gone to bed, and it always began frantically before becoming something softer. Their days were as normal as ever, and if their friends had noticed anything different, they never said anything (at least not to Nancy). It was significantly easier than trying to date around, given that much like Steve, she wouldn’t bring a stranger around Laura. It wasn’t worth the risk. Once or twice a week quickly became every night, and it became something of a game between them. They had started to find creative ways to entice the other into their room – Nancy’s favourite trick of reaching for her vibrator had yet to fail her. On one occasion, she’d been opening her make-up drawer and Steve had poked his head around the door assuming that her bedside drawer was being opened. His cheeks had coloured red when he realised that she was not actively inviting him in, yet before she knew it they had tumbled into bed together.

Everything made absolute sense in Nancy’s head, even if it was taking some time for her heart to catch up. She had loved Steve for a long time, placing their friendship above all else (including her relationship with Jonathan). They made sense. She had been there for so many of the significant moments of his life, and vice versa. Now they were co-parenting his baby together, even if they hadn’t officially named it as such. Perhaps Nancy would never officially be her mother, especially if Steve found an actual partner, but Laura was as much her daughter as she was Steve’s. It was actually thoughts of what would happen if Steve found a partner that started Nancy down the path of realising that at some point her love for Steve had become romantic. She was jealous about this imaginary partner she had created for Steve, and sick at the thought of being pushed aside for someone who could have Steve in all his fullness. Nancy loved him like she had never loved Jonathan – her love for Steve was all-encompassing and warm. She loved waking up in the morning with his arm slung over her waist, she loved the gentle domesticity of their life together, and she yearned for more. She just wasn’t quite sure how to tell him that, given they had unequivocally agreed that they wouldn’t catch feelings.

Nancy spent a few weeks sitting on the truth of her feelings and wondering what to do when all of a sudden she felt like the world was crashing down. She got in from work one day and finally decided that she was going to come out with her feelings, and found Steve in the kitchen quietly humming to himself as he prepared some food for Laura who was strapped into her high chair. “Can I talk to you after dinner? Maybe when she’s gone down for a nap?” Nancy asked, trying to hide the shake in her hands by reaching for the coffee machine. “Course. Hey, are you okay to look after Laura on Saturday night? I’m…uh…going on a date,” Steve’s voice was soft, but it made Nancy’s heart freeze in her chest. She wondered if he could hear her heart shattering in her chest, if he heard her dreams of a future disappearing like the water he was currently pouring down the drain. “I-uh-I…yeah, I can do that. I didn’t have any plans anyway.”

Nancy didn’t speak to Steve after dinner like she’d asked, nor did she invite him to her room that evening giving a pathetic excuse of a headache. If she had an hour long shower where the running water masked the sound of her crying, well then, that was none of his business.

Saturday arrived and with it Nancy’s mood was growing bleaker. She was doing her best to hide it, though she knew Steve had noticed there was something wrong. Robin had come over to help Steve get ready for his date with her friend Molly, and Nancy had politely excused herself to go and nap in Laura’s room. When she awoke, Steve had left for his date. He’d left some post-it notes of thanks on the kitchen island, but he was absolutely blowing up her phone with texts. Snuggled against the sofa with Laura in her arms, Nancy couldn’t help but be delighted that his date was going so poorly. Her smile only grew when Steve text her that he would much rather be at home than her than out with Molly, and she simply shot him a photo back of her and Laura.

Nancy was still on the sofa when Steve arrived home, though she’d already bathed and put Laura to bed. She’d got a bottle of wine open but only one glass out, and Steve snatched her glass up to take a long swig as he sat down. “Hey,” she objected in playful protest, slapping at his arm. “So…Molly’s actually interested in Robin. She apologised just as I was about to leave and said she wasn’t sure how else to get Robs attention. She’s gonna come over tomorrow morning and we’re gonna make a plan of action. Operation: Get Robin Buckley A Date. The name needs some work….will you help us brainstorm tomorrow?” Nancy had barely registered any words beyond ‘interested in Robin’ and suddenly the dark cloud of her mood was miraculously lifted. “Absolutely I’ll help. Now…I want a rundown of your whole evening from start to finish. I’m sorry I was asleep when you left…you look good though, Robs picked a good outfit.”

Operation Date (still no official name) was well under way, and Molly left their home the following day with a plan firmly in hand. Nancy had just been about to throw herself down onto the couch but the sun was high in the sky and it seemed too good of an opportunity to waste. “Should we take Laura to the park? It’s a nice day for a walk, and she loves the baby swings,” she asked, already moving to put her shoes on because she knew Steve would agree. “I’ll make some sandwiches and get some juice, we can make a picnic out of it.”

It was a leisurely stroll to the park, one they’d done a thousand times before, but Nancy’s mood had lifted so much that she was on the verge of skipping to the park. Steve had the backpack full of picnic food so she had insisted on pushing Laura’s pram, nudging Steve out of the way with her hip. She’d caught a glimpse of something in his eye, a glint of affection that she was terrified to acknowledge lest her heart get too hopeful, and she busied herself with getting the pram over the threshold of their house rather than think too deeply about it. They wandered around the park, chattering about everything and nothing all at once, and Nancy figured that she couldn’t be happier actually. This was her family, and her love for the two of them only seemed to deepen each day.

They found a quiet spot within the park to lay a picnic blanket down, and Steve set about getting the food out while Nancy unstrapped Laura from her pram and settled her in her lap. She leaned down to press a kiss to the baby’s forehead, gently brushing a few curls away from her face, and when she looked up again Steve had frozen in his movements and was simply gazing at them. There was that flash of affection again in his eyes, and it was almost as if he couldn’t stop himself when he said “you ruined my date.” Nancy’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and she had to fight the urge to hold onto Laura a little tighter, a sick feeling suddenly settling in her stomach. “I…what? What do you mean? I was telling you not to text me, and…you told me she wasn’t interested in you anyway. We literally just spent the morning figuring out a plan for her to end up with Robs,” Nancy rambled, wondering exactly what he could mean. “No…fuck…I didn’t mean it like…I’m…shit,” Steve stammered, and it was then that Nancy noticed his hands had started shaking. Reaching out, Nancy gently took his hand in her own, lacing their fingers together as she’d done so many times before. “What do you mean?” she asked again, and Steve’s eyes focused on their joined hands rather than her face.

“Remember how we agreed not to catch feelings? Remember how it was ‘just sex’? Well…I caught feelings. All I could think about when I was with her, even in the run up, was that I wanted it to be you instead. The whole evening all I wanted to do was come home to my girls, to curl up on the sofa and tuck you under my arm and be with you instead,” Steve’s words were rushed, knowing that he was handing his heart over to Nancy on a platter and asking her to handle it with care. “And I just saw you with Laura just then, and I thought that’s what I want. Just us three forever, our family. That’s what I want. I’ve loved you for a long time, Nance, I can’t pretend that I don’t any more. I’m sorry if you don’t feel the same, but I just…can’t keep it to myself any more,” his voice was quiet as he trailed off and his gaze had dropped to the floor, as if he was waiting for Nancy to politely tell him that it was nice of him to confess but that she didn’t feel the same.

Nancy carefully lifted their joined hands up to her lips where she pressed a gentle kiss to his knuckles. “You know how I’ve been in a bad mood for the last week? And how I said it was because I was on my period and I was hormonal?” she paused, waiting for him to nod. “I’m not on my period. I thought I was going to lose you to another woman, I thought I was gonna have to sit on the sidelines and watch you fall in love and build a family with her. I was jealous of the woman you deemed worthy of your attention, and I was overjoyed when you said your date was going poorly and then I felt awful about it because you deserve to be loved. You deserve the world and more, Steve. You give so much love to everyone around you, you take such care of us all…you deserve only the best. You deserve much more than me, but my heart is yours and it has been for some time now. I just wasn’t sure how to tell you. I didn’t wanna mess up what we had, y’know? You’re my person, you have been for a long time in every way that counts. I love you and I love our daughter with my whole heart, I would love nothing more than for it to be the three of us against the world together.”

As if Laura knew she was missing out on something very important, she chose that moment to shout ‘ba’ loudly just so she was included. Nancy shuffled a little bit closer to Steve, dropping his hand ever so briefly if only so she could lift Laura up and press another kiss to her soft cheeks before handing her over to Steve. “She definitely just wants the food and is upset we’re taking too long to start eating,” he said, his smile wider than she’d ever thought possible as he reached for some grapes he’d chopped up for her. True to form, Laura grasped at the bits of grape with her fingers and quite happily smushed them into her mouth before rubbing her sticky fingers all over Steve’s face.

There would be time later for them to kiss, for them to solidify their relationship and prove to each other (several times) that evening just what they meant to each other, but with Laura causing chaos between them there was little time for Nancy to do more in that moment than peck Steve’s cheek and shoot him a beaming smile before busying herself with getting more food for Laura. And when they finally left the park with an exhausted Laura asleep in the pram, they walked home together with their hands firmly clasped and a firmer vision of what the future together was going to look like.

(illicit affairs stancy)

It had been quite frankly the best Boxing Day of Nancy's entire life, and it was barely one in the afternoon. She had woken up leisurely in the warm arms of her fiancé, a smile on her lips almost as soon as she woke up. Today was the first day of the rest of their lives - true freedom from her husband, with divorce papers served and all of her important belongings moved from their home long ago. If Brian had cared about her at all, he'd have noticed that her office had been looking sparse, or that her books had started to disappear off the shared bookcase and yet he hadn't noticed a thing. The sun had risen slowly through a crack in the blinds, and rather than rising to gather her belongings and prepare to go home like she had on the rare night that they'd managed to steal together, she had simply shifted closer to Steve and nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck.

Getting out of bed took some time, with Steve satisfying her not once but twice before he would let her drag them into the shower where a third round awaited them. Only then did Nancy playfully insist that Steve kept his hands to himself, pushing him down onto the shower bench so that she could reach his hair and wash it for him with gentle, loving hands. She felt her heart might explode with how desperately she wanted to hold Steve close and care for him, to whisper promises of the future in his ear that were more than just distant fantasy now. They were free to make good on everything they had promised each other in stolen moments in hired rooms and under deepest secrecy.

After they'd showered and dressed in matching pyjamas that Nancy had ordered weeks ago to be delivered to the penthouse (in desperate hope that they would be able to use them), Steve had whipped up some Eggs Benedict for them to have for breakfast with a Christmas movie in the background. It was slow and lazy, and it was utterly perfect. There was peace in the quietness, and joy whenever she looked over at Steve and realised that this was it. This was to be their home now, these walls held their future. With a warm smile on her lips, she opened her mouth to speak at almost the same time Steve did.

"I love you so much."

"Do you want to make cookies together?"

Nancy nodded in eagerness at his question, leaning to press a kiss to her fiance's shoulder. "Do you even have to ask?" "Of course I don't, I know your sweet tooth and I love it as much as I love you, baby," Steve said, fingers reaching up to toy with one of her damp curls as he leaned his forehead against hers. "We can bake cookies and then spend the rest of the day on this couch under a blanket doing absolutely nothing. I'll order us takeout for dinner so we don't have to cook again," he said, and Nancy knew her eyes had completely lit up in delight. "From the Thai place around the corner? Can we get enough food so that we don't have to leave the house tomorrow either?" she asked, wondering if that might be a tall order given that she had completely interrupted his Christmas day plans and god only knew whatever other plans he had for the week by arriving on his doorstep unannounced with a suitcase. "Of course...though we might have to get some for Robs and Molly too in that case. They're giving us a day's grace but I know Robs is gonna barge in here tomorrow and demand to know exactly what happened with Brian, so prepare yourself for all her questions," Steve's tone was utterly fond as he spoke of his dearest friend. "I can live with that."

"Now, I believe there was mention of cookies," Nancy said, standing up with a single-minded focus as she breezed through to the kitchen. "What kind do you fancy, baby? Chocolate chip, sugar cookies, gingerbread?" Steve had followed her through, opening one of the cupboards where he kept raw ingredients. "Maybe something spiced given that it's Christmas...chai cookies? Topped with cinnamon icing, to make them that little bit sweeter," Nancy suggested, knowing Steve would have the right range of spices to make the cookies delicious. Sure enough he started pulling various jars from the spice rack, placing them in front of her along with a bowl. "Measure a teaspoon of each of those out, then give them a mix," Steve instructed, and Nancy was more than happy to bow to his far superior skill in the kitchen.

The next half an hour was spent with Steve gently giving instructions, his arms around her as they worked in unison. Steve had carefully observed as she weighed everything, knowing that Nancy had a habit of somehow tipping half a carton of salt into everything utterly unknowingly. She'd mixed the butter and sugar together, stirring the wooden spoon over and over until she proclaimed her arms were getting tired and Steve took over, telling her when to fold their various dry ingredients until their dough came together. When they rolled the dough into balls, Nancy took great care to try and ensure that hers were perfectly round just like his were. The last thing she wanted was to poison Steve with terrible cookies on their first proper day living together.

While the cookies baked, Steve had turned his back to wash the dough off his hands whilst Nancy licked some remaining dough from the wooden spoon. "It tastes good," she hummed in delight, and she could practically feel Steve's fond eye-roll even though she still couldn't see him. "You know you're not supposed to eat raw dough, right?" "I do...but it's just so delicious," she grinned at him, before swiping her tongue over the spoon once again. "I'll make you some safe to eat cookie dough soon that you can keep in the fridge whenever you want to snack," Steve said, almost absentmindedly. It was these sort of small things that he just did without prompting that made her fall a little more in love with him every single day.

The smell of warming spices filled the air, a sweet scent that Nancy wanted to bottle up and keep forever. When the cookies came out of the oven she immediately tried to reach for one and Steve slapped her hand away playfully, shaking his head at her. "They gotta cool otherwise you'll burn your mouth. Plus you wanted to ice them, baby. We can't do that when they're hot." Pouting at him clearly was going to make no difference, so Nancy busied herself with making them both a hot chocolate that she piled high with whipped cream and marshmallows. "It's Christmas.. the sports diet takes a break for now," she said, noting the way Steve glanced down at his cup. "And anyway...we're celebrating. Cheers to being free of that man, now and forever more," she said, bumping her mug against his.

Steve took a long sip of his hot chocolate, sighing at the richness of the chocolate against his tongue and when he drew the mug back from his mouth he was left with a whipped cream mustache which Nancy wished she'd had time to snap a photo of. "You are adorable," she beamed, and Steve shot her a puppy-eyed look. "Babe, I can't be adorable...you told me earlier that I'm the sexiest man alive." "Two things can be true at once, Steve. You can be both adorable and sexy. You are the sexiest man I know, and you know how to satisfy me so well...what more can a woman ask for?" Nancy was gazing up into Steve's eyes, biting down on her lower lip suggestively. All of the talk was merely a distraction though as her hand crept towards the cooling plate of cookies and she grasped one triumphantly. "I win!" she declared victoriously, biting into the cookie. A burst of flavour crossed her tongue, before she became suddenly quite aware that it was still rather hot and that it might be burning her tongue.

"Shit, they're hot," she muttered, trying to downplay it as Steve stared at her with an all-knowing look.

(canon stancy)

Steve had been out with Robin all evening, which had given Nancy time to get everything set up just as she wanted. The children had been fed, bathed and put to bed - all with the exception of baby Pip who was snoozing in the bassinet beside their couch. Nancy had changed her into a very particular baby-grow before settling her down for a nap. Nancy knew that Steve would want to see Pip when he got back from the gig he'd gone too with Robs, would want to kiss her goodnight and get her settled into bed comfortably.

Steve had told her he'd be home shortly after ten, and true to his word, the clock had barely ticked past the hour when she heard a key in the front door. Setting her book to the side, Nancy slipped out from underneath her blanket and beamed at her husband as he appeared in the doorway. "Hey baby...how was your evening?" she asked, moving to greet him. "Really good...the band that Robs suggested were really good, and then she and Molly got absolutely wasted which is always entertaining. I missed you though," he said, pulling her into a hug.

Pip was half-asleep, having been fed just prior to Steve returning and Nancy knew they'd be able to settle her into bed quickly. "Let's head upstairs, get her in bed and then we can spend some time together," she said, gently picking up her daughter and cradling her to her chest. When they got to the top of the stairs, Nancy pushed open the door to the nursery quietly and stepped in, but rather than putting Pip straight in bed she handed their baby over to Steve. "So...I know it's a little early, but I thought I'd give you your present a little early this year. Or, one of them anyway," Nancy said to Steve, who was looking at her with some degree of confusion.

"Nance...our children are the greatest gift, but Pip is three months old now. She doesn't count," he quipped, but then his gaze dropped back to his daughter and he noted the words on her baby-grow. Right across Pip's chest were the words 'I'm going to be a big sister', and Nancy studied her husband's expression carefully as it sunk in. "Nance..." his voice was soft, full of love and awe as his gaze darted between their daughter and Nancy herself. "I'm pregnant," she said, her smile so wide it was practically reaching her eyes. Steve ever so gently placed their daughter in bed, waiting a beat to make sure she settled before he turned to reach for his wife, picking her up and spinning her around joyfully.

"Let's go to our room," Nancy mumbled, her arms tossed around Steve's neck as he carried her through to their room, shutting the door behind them. He set her on the bed, immediately sinking down to be next to her, his hand placed over her stomach. "How long have you known?" "Only a week...my period hasn't come back since I gave birth yet, but I remembered that we didn't use protection on the night of your birthday so I thought I'd just test just to see. I didn't tell you cause I didn't think it was actually going to come back positive, but...there were two little lines right there. So I did another, and another. We're having a baby," she beamed, leaning her forehead against Steve's. "We're having another baby," he repeated in quiet awe, kissing her cheek. "And I'm having another Christmas where I can't have a glass of wine," Nancy joked, pouting playfully. "Don't worry babe, next year I'll get you the biggest glass of wine you can imagine."

(canon stancy)

Christmas was Nancy's favourite time of year, with the lights strung up around the neighbourhood and the house decorated so warmly. A lot of responsibilities lay on the eldest daughter's shoulders at Christmas to help keep the magic alive, and Nancy had borne all of these responsibilities happily. She had seen the way her mother stressed each Christmas day, moving around the kitchen as if she were a single-minded tornado with a table full of hungry mouths to feed. When she was a child, Nancy tried to help - small hands carrying plates and glasses through to the table one by one to help set up, running backwards and forwards before she eventually plonked herself down in front of the tree to entertain baby Mike. As a young teenager, her mother had tried to teach her how to cook before quickly realising Nancy was more of a hindrance than a help. She still helped each Christmas day though to try and lighten the load, dutifully peeling potatoes and carrots and filling the pots with water to boil. She helped to keep the magic of Christmas alive for little Holly, who was always so excited for Christmas that she looked as though she might burst. Holly was still just about young enough that she still believed in Santa, though Nancy had a sneaking suspicion this would be their last year of Santa (at least until her own children came along).

Christmas this year was even more exciting than usual because it was to be her first with Steve in their first flat. They had taken great care at the Christmas tree farm picking the right tree (even though they had underestimated the size of it, and had to chop the top off), and spent a long time in the shops picking the right baubles and other decorations to fill their flat with. Their fireplace had two stockings strung up on the mantlepiece, a gorgeous wreath hung on their front door, and Nancy had stolen her favourite nutcracker from her parents home and brought it back to their flat. Two chocolate advent calendars rested amidst the decorations, their cardboard doors torn open to reveal a delightful treat each day.

It felt like home in the most wonderful way.

It was the Saturday before Christmas and they had agreed that this was to be their day. Christmas eve through to boxing day was going to be spent with her family, but today was a day that they were not to be disturbed. They had the usual emergency contact procedure in place with Robin, but the world was peaceful now - the only sort of emergencies their little group encountered these days was running out of beer, or one of the party's characters coming close to death during a Dungeons and Dragons campaign that Will was masterfully leading (yes, even Nancy & Steve sat in amongst the campaigns these days). The rest of the holidays would be spent amongst their friends and their family, but they had started a yearly tradition of creating space for just them. They had started the day with breakfast out at their favourite diner, before a leisurely stroll back home where they'd collapsed into a pile on their lumpy second-hand couch to watch It's A Wonderful Life quickly followed by Santa Claus before Steve had gone through to the kitchen to whip up their gingerbread dough whilst Nancy put together some sandwiches for them to snack on.

Their flat was full of warm, festive scents as the gingerbread that Steve had so lovingly baked was cooling. They had neatly rolled it out into very specific shapes and sizes, perfectly directed by Nancy, before cooking so that they could build their very own gingerbread house from scratch. She'd even got a ruler out of her stationary supplies, which Steve had teasingly poked her for while she marked shapes on the baking paper. "I'm taking this gingerbread house very seriously," Nancy shot back, before flicking some icing sugar in his direction. "This is gonna be the best gingerbread house ever created. We're gonna take photos of this gingerbread house to put on next year's Christmas card," she said, a fierce determination in her tone. Steve just cast a loving glance in his girlfriend's direction, smacking a kiss against her cheek as he started cutting the gingerbread shapes. "Sure we are, Nance," he murmured, his tone fond. Her eyes drifted towards his face, a warm grin on her lips as she watched the way his eyebrows knit together in concentration as he worked.

While the gingerbread cooled, Nancy had cracked open a bottle of wine and poured two very large glasses. The issue with wine was that it seemed to disappear very quickly and before she knew it she was on her second glass which disappeared just as quickly as the first. If you were to ask her, Nancy would swear blind that Steve was sneaking sips from her glass. She was the teeniest, tiniest bit drunk as Steve finally declared the gingerbread cool enough for them to start assembling, and a delighted giggle escaped her. "This is wonderful news," she said, throwing her arm around Steve's waist as she drew him in for a kiss. "You taste like wine," Steve whispered against her lips, and she beamed up at him. "I think I finished the bottle..." "It's okay, we have plenty in," Steve winked at her, reaching for another bottle.

They'd decided to decorate the gingerbread house at the counter rather than on the table, anticipating mess. Nancy stood before the bowl full of icing and gave it another stir to loosen it a little, before she reached for two pieces of gingerbread. "You wanna hold them together and I'll glue, baby?" she asked, her tongue sticking out slightly as she tried to pretend she wasn't a little drunk and that she was perfectly in control of all her limbs. Steve stepped behind her, his arms slipping underneath hers to reach for the gingerbread. "This might not be the most effective way for us to do this..." she said, though she leaned back comfortably into her boyfriend's arms. "It doesn't matter, I just wanna be with you."

Quickly, they figured out an efficient method of using the thick icing to glue together though it was a lot messier than she initially thought. It was difficult to wipe the drips of icing away when all their limbs were tangled together, and after the amount of wine she'd drunk, Nancy found that she was no longer too fussed about it being the most perfect gingerbread house the world had ever seen. More gumdrops seemed to make it into Steve's mouth than made it onto the house itself, and Nancy accidentally squeezed the thin icing piping bag too hard whilst checking it was working and squirted it all over herself. The pair of them couldn't seem to stop giggling as they decorated, and when they eventually stepped away from it Nancy felt a deep sense of pride as she looked at their ugly, mismatched gingerbread house.

"Well...it won't win any awards," she snorted, leaning her head back against Steve's shoulder. "It'll taste just as good as it would if it was perfect, I promise. Making it is all the fun anyway," Steve assured her, and she nodded warmly. "It was made with love...and that makes it perfect. It doesn't matter what it looks like," she said, and though she was still looking at the gingerbread house, her words could also be applied to their first flat which was full of mismatched, second-hand furniture. "...can we eat it now?" Nancy asked, and Steve laughed at his girlfriend who could seemingly eat never-ending amounts of sweets. "There's some offcuts I set aside for you that you can dip into the leftover icing," and like magic, a plate appeared in front of her with bits of gingerbread.

Turning to look at Steve properly, Nancy knew her expression was full of gooey warmth and love. "Have I ever told you that you're the best boyfriend ever?" she asked, leaning to peck a kiss against his lips quickly.

"You have, Nance. Repeatedly, actually. Every time I give you something sweet you tell me that. In fact, one time you boldly declared that I was the best man on the planet when I went out to get you those hungover M&Ms."

(best friend stancy)

Nancy's fingertips trailed lightly against the tufts of hair that covered Steve's chest, her face buried into his shoulder as she relished in the quiet moments as they simply lay together. Steve's arm was wrapped around her, holding her to his side, his hand warm against her bare hip. She enjoyed these moments of quiet - when they were both satisfied, lazily laying together until they eventually drifted into sleep in each other's arms. It was almost as intimate as they had been just a few minutes prior, and Nancy was half convinced if she concentrated hard enough she'd be able to see the shimmering thread of fate that was surely tied around their hearts.

It had to be fate, right? For her to fall so deeply for her best friend in the whole world, and for him to return those feelings with as much passion.

"I love you," Nancy murmured, her lips moving against his shoulder. Steve squeezed her a little tighter against his side affectionately, before dropping a firm kiss to the crown of her head. "I love you too, Nance," his voice was low and raspy, and if he hadn't worked her so good already, it may have been enough to get her going again. Her fingers continued tracing lazy circles against his skin as she shifted slightly so she could look at him. "Promise me...promise me we'll still be friends if this doesn't work out. I can't bear to lose you," she whispered, her voice cracking ever so slightly as her brain filled with possibilities. If she lost Steve, she would lose Laura too...and the thought of that was too painful to consider. There was too much at stake for them to get this wrong, for them to fuck it all up.

Yet despite all that was at stake, their relationship felt light. It felt freeing, it felt full of love, and it felt healthy. She'd never quite felt like this before in a relationship. She'd never felt so happy and secure, and they'd barely been dating for a month. She trusted Steve utterly - she knew all his secrets, all his fears and he knew hers. She knew he would never hurt her, that he only ever wanted the best for her. Steve reached for her hand, tangling their fingers together tightly as he met her nervous gaze. "Nance, I promise you I'm gonna put everything I have into making us work. If we don't, we'll still be friends...you'll still see Laura, you'll still have a space in this home. But I don't think you need to worry about that at all. I think we're gonna be just fine."

Nancy's lips tugged upwards in a smile at his reassurance, her worries ebbing away. She leaned in to kiss him gently, before pulling back ever so slightly. Her heart felt like it might explode out of her chest, so full of affection for the man in front of her. "I've never really been able to tell you what you mean to me...but sometimes now when I look at you I feel like the world has exploded into colour. Like I was seeing in black and white before, but suddenly the world makes sense now? Like...life was almost perfect before, but now everything has slotted into place. Steve and Nancy, Nancy and Steve....we fit so perfectly. I was made for you, I know it," she gushed, her gaze warm.