SCOTT EVANS

I won’t lie, when I found out there was a Vine 2.0 coming out I wasn’t sure what to think about it. I loved the original vine so much and I just don’t think it would be the same. But after watching a few compilations, I’m ready to bring back some joy into my life. Speaking of joy, 5 more days till Star Wars. Just saying.

But anywho, how’s everyone doing today?

This post is giving me joy.

My apartment is all decorated and festive! I even put lights around my balcony and it shines so nice. All I need to get is the tree… And somehow find a way to lug it into the apartment. I really don’t like artificial trees but I might have to get one this year.

I’ll help you get a tree! A real one! I know this place; their trees are really nice. And I’ll help you get it into your apartment and set it up too!

I only just today began to decorate for the holidays. I’ve got myself a little fake tree from Michaels, I got antler-ears for Buttercup, and I put up twinkly lights in my living room, since I already have some in my bedroom. I’m honestly really excited. I’ve already got a list of what I’m buying for my brother and sisters, and I’m starting a list of New Years Resolutions.

Dude, next year, invite me over for when you’re doing your decorations.

Being a first time dog mom is confusing sometimes. Mi princesa has been hiding out ever since the storm, but when I got home a couple of days ago, she clung to me and hasn’t left my side since. When I leave, she cries and when I get home, she jumps right back into my lap again. I’m not complaining, it’s actually nice. I’m just wondering why she’s so clingy. Is she trying to comfort me? Can she sense that I’m stressed? These are things I’d like to know.

I’ve heard about this-- it’s like they can tell these things, which is probably why there are more and more therapy dogs out there. They’re too pure for the human world, I’m telling you this. Also, if there’s anything that I can do, to make your life less stressful, just let me know. Even if it’s something as simple as wrapping presents or doing your grocery shopping, just say the word and I’ll do it for you.

Cross fading is definitely something I would not recommend unless you’re being supervised. Like, I’m not positive if someone else brought me home last night or if I somehow managed to get myself all the way back there. That should be a good enough reason for any of y’all to make better decisions than I did last night.

Anyway, I have a date with my bathtub, a bath bomb, and a large pizza. If anyone should need me then you know where to find me if you’re important enough. 

Dude...can I climb into that tub with you, because that sounds super awesome?

So.. if somebody could come and forcibly remove Outlast from my hard drives, that would be great. I’m a wimp and well aware of it, but does that stop me from playing it alone in my room with my blackout curtains drawn? No, no it does not. All that being said, I’m now sitting in the waiting room with a very swollen nose and failing at holding back tears. I’ve never been to the ER alone and it is TERRIFYING.

I’ll do it for you if you haven’t already. After watching “The Blair Witch Project” as a 12-year old and being freaked out by it, I can do anything. Even Slenderman’s got nothing on me.

Why do the days seem to go by so fast when you’re lazy? I take one day off and it’s gone in the blink of an eye. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job, but this time or year keeps people really busy. Especially parents. I’m ready to stay in this bed until New Year’s. Is that even possible? I mean, is anyone gonna even stop me?

Probably social services, once people have put in reports of you missing and they have to go and find you. But other than that, I don’t see anyone stopping you from doing this. 

A spaceship? That sounds pretty cool. I’d probably make…a whole bunch of Disney ones actually. 

That’d be so cool. I’mma go ahead and experiment with this now, and see if I can actually do it!

Tumblr is at the top of the list. Next to Tinder. No judgement please.

Oh, don’t worry, I’m not judging. You do you, girl! Just don’t let any of those fuckboys fool you.

Okay, that isn’t too bad. I mean I can do without the baby pics being shown, but that’s just a little sacrifice. I can survive this. I just have to prepare Jules a bit. She is very sweet.

Oh, will you be back in time for Christmas? And what is this meeting about? Getting your job back?

I’m sure she is, but something’s gotta be wrong with her as well, since she chose to be with you, dude. Kidding. I reckon they’re gonna love her. The prospect of mom getting grandkids will make her love her even more.

I haven’t been to Little Rock in awhile and it definitely beats this dump. Alright cool. I could use a night of dancing and drinks. A foam party? I’ve actually never been to one of those. Alright Evans, I’ll agree to go under one condition.

And what’s that?

But you didn’t, shame on you. I’m kidding. Just like I was mainly joking about Wednesday. I mean I am free, I just thought you were joking too. But fuck it. Where are we going?

Oh no, I’m very serious about making it up to you. How about Little Rock? There’s a club there that’s quite fun. I think they might even have a foam party on, on Wednesdays.

Do you though? Do you really feel horrible? I’m free Wednesday. So how bout that?

Of course I do-- if I had known that you were stuck at home, I would’ve called you, or come to get you. 

Well still thank you, means a lot. I am feeling a worlds better already and I am pretty sure it was from all the get well wishes. 

Oh, I’m so happy to hear that! So it was just a bug then?

That would for sure be epic.

I mean, I can only assume it is, with all the action on the screen. And it’s a Christmas film, so it fits this time of year.