#fuck off beelzebub my cat has dibs

My cats are legit part of my grounding strategy for when I have sleep hallucinations. As part of my sleep paralysis, I “see” corpses in the bed next to me on a frequent basis, or shadow men lurking in the doorway; if there is a cat blissfully, softly snoring at the foot of the bed, I know I am safe, despite what my brain is trying to conjure.

the sound of my door opening slowly, but theres no one there. my cat. somethings clawing at the walls, glass or window screens, cats. somethings fucking licking my toe in the middle of the night, my fucking cat again. nothing can hurt me its all cat

Do cats make the ghosts go away? Nah. They just make you stop being scared.

What helped me write trauma better is remembering that the nervous system learns predictions. If danger used to come after quiet, calm can feel threatening. If kindness used to come with a price, kindness can feel suspicious. So healing is not just “they know they’re safe now.” Healing is the slow, annoying, deeply unfair process of teaching the body that the old prediction is not always the present truth.

Omg this looks so good. I'm getting it.

This is humanity

Happy Birthday, Curiousity.

Happy birthday, Curiosity.

Happy birthday, Curiosity.

Happy birthday, Curiosity!

Happy birthday, Curiosity!💕

Happy Birthday, Curiosity

it’s never a normal temperature anymore it’s always some fucking bullshit

It's nuts how common it is to not allow children to be angry, even (especially) in households where adults are angry all the time. As a child I knew my own anger was unacceptable--not just expressing it outwardly but feeling it at all. So now as an adult my immediate reaction to my own anger is often to feel guilt instead of like. Noticing when someone is being rude or unfair or my boundaries are being violated or whatever. fucked up.

to this day "who is allowed to be angry" has been an incredible benchmark for teasing out who, in abusive situations with mutual accusations and DARVO happening, is being abusive and who is being abused. one of my favorite resources about this, the Creative Interventions Toolkit, phrases the question "who sets the weather?" in the relationship and I think about it so so often when I think about my own childhood. I was parentified in a way that set me up for future abusive relationships, because I had to soothe my parents' anger while not being allowed to feel angry myself. I am extremely grateful to everyone outside myself - friends, therapists, partners - who's gotten angry on my behalf about how I'm treated or let me know something I'd been excusing or blaming myself for was actually Not Okay. I guess the good news here is that it's possible to learn how to access anger again in a healthy way, it just takes support, like doing physical therapy for a muscle that didn't develop quite right.

in my socialist opinion prospective employers should have to pay candidates for interviews and more for each round and they should also have to pay a state fee if they interview over ten candidates for a role without choosing any of them. aka a fee to reopen the hiring pool for the job. they should also have a hiring grade slapped on their front window just the same as you’d get from a health department about food safety except it tells you how much their profit is annually and how much they pay their employees + how many staff members are needed for operation vs how many they have. or like i don’t know. die maybe. just die

it’s 2014 it’s time we moved on as a nation and stop reblogging this

every person who reblogs this in 2015 is gonna get their ass kicked by yours truly

i think my ideal job is being paid 50$/hour to sit on the computer doing whatever i want at an empty rented office space for mysterious employers definitely running some kind of money laundering scheme and just needing me to keep up appearances of one of their shell companies but im not like, in on anything and no one can charge me for anything