Can't Trust Me

“Fear of what baby?” Atlas didn’t quite understand, but he wanted to ease those fears. Do his part to reassure her that things would be okay because he was sure they’d figure it out. Atlas took her hands and stood up he bent down to kiss her softly and smirked. “What do you say if we build a blanket fort in the living room?” It was the stupidest thing he could think of but he remembered his brother used to build them in his bedroom when their father was angry and it had always been a safe spot for him, so he figured maybe he could share that safe spot with her.

“That...we’re going to have pups and you’ll end up hating me, or you’ll hate me because I can’t give you pups...or I’m going to do something stupid and you’ll hate me...basically I have this consistent fear that you’re going to end up hating me.” Maybe it was irrational, but it was how Ela felt. It was a reflection of her low self-esteem, which she fought to hide on a daily basis. “I think that sounds amazing,” she murmured against his lips, looping her arms around him for a brief hug. 

“That sounds good to me.” He just needed her, the rest well he didn’t need it that much. “Okay, we can have more time just us.” He shrugged as he stood up, he looked down at her. “Lets head back and get to that innocent afternoon you wanted.” He gave her a warm smile.

“I’m just...afraid of what might happen in the future,” she admitted. It was difficult for Ela to be vulnerable, as she knew it was difficult for Atlas to be as well, but opening up was going to help their relationship succeed and she knew it. “Yes, please.” Ela pushed herself off the bench and held her hands out to him.

“I don’t want to see him again..” He shook his head, no if they got married it was to be happy. He calmed down when she nuzzled into him more. “Well if you want to be, we could always adopt a pup.” He offered her as he bit his lip and looked out to the pond. “Well you have someone to do it with many times over.” He teased her as he kissed her cheek.

“I know baby, and that’s why we won’t invite him,” she murmured in his ear, “Just me, you, a couple of friends, and my parents. There’s nobody more important that needs to be there except for you and me.” Ela loved Atlas with every fiber of her being and she’d do anything to prove that to him. “If it comes down to it, we can see what the doctor’s say or adopt...but I’d like to spend some more time just the two of us for now.”

“We’d get nothing from my father being there.” His brother and mother were dead, but his father he couldn’t get rid of that bastard.  He let out a heavy sigh, but when she spoke he nodded his head. “Well if you want we can try…. if you want to be a mother that is…do you even want that?” He was surprised they were even having this conversation. “Good.”

“You’d get to rub it in his face that you’re ten million times the man he is, but having him there and upsetting you isn’t worth proving that point.” Ela wrapped her arms around his neck and snuggled even closer. Things were strange right now and they were figuring out how to adapt, and she loved it. “I’m not sure, honestly. I’ve never thought about it because I never thought I’d be able to. Nor have somebody to do it with.”

“Your family, I don’t have family remember? But yes I want to stay married to you.” He told her as he then frowned at her words, he bit his lip, not quite sure. “Like you can’t?” Atlas asked as he looked over at his wife he gave her hand a small squeeze. “Can I go cut whoever did this to you?” He asked, he wanted to take it out on another. Not her though.

“I know, I figured you wouldn’t want them there.” Ela ran her fingers up the back of his neck and looped in his hair for a moment. She figured he was going to be mad, or annoyed because of her lack of abilities, but he seemed to be taking it ok. “As far as doctors are aware, there’s too much scar tissue, but to be fair, I’ve never tried to have pups, so I’m not sure,” she smiled a bit, “He’s been dead for a long time now.”

Atlas just shook his head as he looked at his wife on his shoulder. “Sure, we can do a redo wedding or just get married again.” He wouldn’t mind giving her that if it’d make her happy. He wasn’t one for weddings but a night with Ela was something. “Do you not want pups?” Atlas questioned just so they were on the same page.

“I figured just a little ceremony and party with friends, maybe my family, so we can show that we...actually did this thing. If you’re sure you want to stay married to me,” she teased, “It’s not that.” Ela didn’t ever think they’d get far enough to have this conversation, and now she was dreading that they didn’t have it earlier. I’m broken, Atlas, always have been. Somebody that wasn’t happy with me ensured that.”

“Hey now, you aren’t no pain either. Don’t go calling the kettle black babe.” He teased her as he smiled in the prolonged kiss, but he just tightened his arm around her. “Guess it was a good thing we got drunk married hm?” Atlas questioned as he glanced down at their wedding rings, as he played with Ela’s fingers a little bit.”So a house, what’s next for us after that hm?” He questioned her.

“I’ve never said that I’m not a pain, so I’m not sure where you’re getting that from, my love,” Ela settled her head on his shoulder and smiled at their linked hands, “I’d like to get married and remember it. If that’s ok with you.” She was expecting him to say no because getting married in the first place was a little bit out of left field. As much as she wanted it, she had never actually expected it to happen. “I’d offer you pups...but, I won’t make empty promises.”

Atlas leaned into her touch. “Me huh? Perfect man for you? Even though you think of a million names for me?” He teased her as he leaned down to kiss her gently. “I’m happy to be yours as well, and to have you as mine. I really do love you.”

“You’re a pain in the ass, but you’re my pain in the ass and I love you for it.” Ela happily pressed her body against Atlas’ in order to prolong the kiss. She loved when he was gentle with her. Just as much as she loved when he shoved her against a wall and fucked her brains out. “Meant to be.”

He honestly thought she was starting to want to roleplay with him but he was getting the vibe that wasn’t the case so he backed off. “Alright, well what movie are we watching then?” He questioned figuring it’d be like a little date night for them. “What’s on your mind babe?” He questioned wondering now what was flirting through her mind.

“That’s an excellent question. I haven’t decided yet.” Ela danced her hands up his arm and then cupped his cheek with her hand. She truly and deeply loved him, as strange as he was. As strange as they were together. “You...how much I love you...how you’re the perfect man for me and the fact that I never tell you any of this enough. I’m just happy you’re mine.”

“What? It’s code baby.” He knew code, and he knew that she usually wanted him deep when she said it. “oh.. so you actually meant innocent?” But then he felt her nimble fingers on him and he was thoroughly confused, on which one she wanted. “You are such a minx you know that?” Atlas questioned with a smirk but took her hand and tugged her to a bench near the pond.

Atlas wasn’t wrong, Ela liked to play games and roleplay a little sometimes. She’d pretend to be an innocent little princess that couldn’t handle the mere thought of a cock, then let Atlas absolutely ravage her. Today, she was looking for something a little softer. “Yes, sir,” she smirked, “To both of those questions.” Then she let herself be tugged to the bench, lowering herself next to him.

“I trust you’ll show me exactly what you want.” He had no doubt that she’d show him exactly what she wanted but they’d make the decision together and understand  what the other wanted and needed. “Yes you say innocent, and then the second I get home I’m buried deep and you’re begging me to fuck you harder.” He whispered in her ear, knowing what her version of ‘innocent’ meant, he kissed his mate’s temple as he looked into her eye with that wicked gleam in his.

“You know I will.” Ela wasn’t shy about much around Atlas anymore. She used to be, in fear that he would explode at her for something or be deemed annoying. Not to mention she didn’t really know how to verbalize what it was that she wanted, she just knew she wanted things. “Excuse me,” Ela turned to face Atlas with a single arched brow, stopping them in their tracks, “I was talking about cuddling on the couch and watching a movie, you dirty fiend.” Just to make things confusing, she brushed a hand across his crotch.

He wore his ring and he just wanted some more space with her, and maybe a spot to hide his pillows. Atlas nodded his head. “Sounds good, I’ll happily look over what you find, and we’ll see what’s right for the both of us.” He would be happy with anything as long as he had a garage to do some stuff in while he was home. “Oh you have plans now do you?” He slid his hand down until he was giving her butt a squeeze, with a smirk, he could get behind getting up to no good with his wife.

“This sounds like the perfect plan then.” Ela was fairly critical about what she enjoyed and found, so she would find the perfect thing for them. Atlas probably knew that, and knew that she wouldn’t do anything stupid in regards to buying or going to see anything without him. “Hey, hey, hey, I said innocent plans.” Ela reached behind her and teasingly swatted his hand away from her ass. She knew that was exactly where he would go with things, and usually that’s exactly what she meant too.

When she leaned into him he wrapped his arm around her. “Yes really.” He knew she’d enjoy it but he chuckled softly knowing he’d be squished by her body in that hammock but it was something he could live with. “Alright I guess we’ll start looking for a house then. One for you and I, a little space to grow maybe and a hammock.” He chuckled the things she wanted, he would give her tho, anything to see the smile he was now seeing on her face.

“That sounds...perfect.” They were technically married now and everything, so she supposed it made sense. Their marriage was a bit less legit than maybe it should be considering they didn’t remember the act of doing so, but Ela still wore her ring anyway. “Maybe I’ll look some stuff up while you’re at work tomorrow. I’d say when we get home, but I have plans for us when we get home.” She smiled innocently because her plans were actually innocent for once. He just didn’t need to know that yet.