wonderland

Harry rubbed his big hands all up and down the length of her back, feeling the soft fabric of her shirt beneath his fingers. It felt nice to have her close. He placed a little kiss on her neck before saying, “Aw, he loves it. And I would spoil you too if you would let me.” 

It was a perfect moment - at least for her. Everything was so calm and they were enjoying each other's company. She couldn't help but smile when he kissed her neck and said, "If you spoil me then I wouldn't be able to keep you grounded."

Harry automatically wrapped his arms around Selena’s waist, thankful that they were in contact again. When he heard his condition, Harry almost laughed, but only because it was so silly and he had already thought of Baylor coming along with them. “Of course he is. I wouldn’t leave him for nine months either. I didn’t even think that would be a condition, it was already a given.” 

Selena felt safe with Harry's arms around her, it was a feeling that she missed. Her arms instantly wrapped around his neck and she smile at the thought of them and Baylor traveling around the world. "Well excuse me, I was just making sure." Selena answered and rested her head on his shoulder. "Baylor has been so spoiled lately, it's all your fault."

Harry made sure that their hug was extra long, not just because he was excited that Selena was agreeing to go on tour with him, but because it felt like making up for lost time. He laughed when she did and eventually let her go, even though he was going to miss the warmth. “Yeah?” Harry prompted her with his eyebrows raised.

Selena frowned when Harry pulled apart, her body already missing the lack of contact. She quickly moved and sat down on his lap. Maybe she was being clingy, but that was something she couldn't help - not after ignoring him for a week. "Baylor, he's coming with us, I can't leave my baby alone for nine freaking months." She answered with a pout, hoping Harry would accept.

Harry patiently waited for Selena to make her decision. On the inside, he was nervous, feeling like he was going to explode waiting for her answer. When she said yes, however, that feeling disappeared entirely. He couldn’t contain his beam of a smile, wide and bright on his face. He exclaimed, “Good.” He wrapped his arms around her again, pretty much leaping on her, tackling her in a hug. 

Selena was surprised when Harry hugged her with so much excitement. It was adorable and she couldn't help but laugh out loud, returning the hug. "Harry! Oh my God," She shrieked and continued laughing at his sudden outburst. Selena never expected him to act the way he did, but she surely wasn't complaining. "I have one condition, though." The brunette announced with a small smile.

Harry bit nervously at his bottom lip as he answered, “Um, nine or so months, I think? But we get breaks in between and stuff.” He hoped it wouldn’t be a deal breaker. He knew that nine months was an extremely long time, almost a year. But it wasn’t up to him, he had 131 shows to do whether Selena came with him or not. He just hoped that she’d want to go because things would be so much better with her there.

Selena noticed Harry's expresion and behavior now that they were talking about the tour. He seemed quite nervous and she just wanted to agree and go with him, it wasn't that easy though. Nine months was a very long time, but Selena really wanted to support him and be with him whenever he needed her. Placing her small hand on his cheek, she answered with a smile, "I would really love to go."

Harry felt a little sheepish at Selena’s response to coming on tour. He was hoping that she would be excited for it, just as he was. “Well, it was going to be apart of the contract but we’re not doing that anymore. I just think it could be fun, y’know? Traveling the world together and stuff.” All in all, he really wanted her there for support and to keep him grounding, as he did tend to get a bit too caught up in the craziness that came with a tour. 

She was quite surprised with Harry's sudden offer. Traveling all around the world was something big, especially for someone who stayed her whole life on the US. It was crazy and unexpected, but Selena couldn't bring herself to say no. "Wow, you want me to have a heart attack. I would love to go with you, but how long is that tour of yours?" She asked and furrowed her eyebrows. Inside she was scared, a lot of things could happen while he was on tour.

Harry couldn’t contain the smile that was spreading out over his face and he also couldn’t help but feel relieved. He was extremely happy to know that even throughout everything that had happened between them, she didn’t hate them. Harry shrugged and said, “Not every single little thing, but I still want to do nice stuff for you.” He would always be prepared to buy Selena the best of whatever she wanted. At the mention of his tour, Harry nodded but he also asked Selena, “You’re going to come with me, right?”

Seeing him smile made her happy. The past week was very hard for them, and he barely smiled, unless he was taking a photo with a fan or something like that. "Do you know what would be nice right now? Sleeping. Last night I stayed awake, that's why I fell asleep on the car. And I was falling asleep before you arrived with the flowers." Selena admitted and yawned. The fact that she spend most of the day awake surprised her quite a lot. "What? Coming on tour with you? No one told me about that. You've got to be kidding me."

"No, no. I didn’t, I promise." Harry quickly assured her, holding onto her a little tighter. It hurt his heart to know that she thought he hated her. That had never been the case at all. If anything, he had thought it was the other way around. Harry shook his head and said, "When I spend it on you, I don’t see it as wasting money. I want to buy nice things for you, you deserve it." Then he pulled away from the hug but took her hands in his once more and gave her a smile, saying, "Let’s just enjoy the rest of the trip, okay?" 

His words warmed her heart a little and a her lips curled up. She couldn't bare with someone hating her, especially someone like Harry. "That's good to know, because I never hated you either." Selena answered. Instead of rolling her eyes like she would usually do when it came to the money subject, she pecked his cheek before saying, "Alright, that's really sweet. But you seriously don't have to buy me every single thing." She intertwined their fingers together and pressed her forehead against his. "Yeah, because after this you're leaving for tour."

"I missed you too, love." Harry ran his hands all up and down her back and shivered slightly when she kissed his neck. He scoffed at the mention of the ticket, mostly because he had forgotten all about it. He told her, "It’s fine, don’t worry about it. I could probably buy a thousand plane tickets and never use them and not be hurt financially. It’s not a big deal, I promise." He lowered his voice and continued, "I’m really glad you’re not leaving, though. I was really scared that this would be the last time I’d ever see you." 

"I thought you hated me, really." Selena admitted and looked up at him. It was the truth, she would find herself thinking that Harry didn't want to do anything with her, and that he probably never liked her in the first place. Shaking her head and sighing, she said, "I will never get used to you having loads of money. You actually don't mind how much money you waste, however, I freak out whenever you want to buy me the most little and stupid thing." Her arms tighened around his torso at the thought of never seeing Harry again. "I know, I was scared too."

A little laugh escaped his lips when Selena joked with him and he rolled his eyes playfully and said, “It’s so funny how things work out.” His chest felt immensely lighter, all the worrying and heartache done. He grimaced a little when Selena asked if he’d push her away and he made a mental note to apologize profusely about that later. Right then, he just wanted to have Selena in his arms again. He went it for it first, looping his arms around her and saying, “We’re completely fine now.” 

Without thinking twice, Selena was quick to wrap her arms around his torso, just like she always did. Her head rested on his shoulder and she nuzzled her face on his neck - it felt good to do that again. "I missed you, so much." She murmured against the bare skin before kissing it softly. Selena felt bad because now that she was staying with Harry in Greece, he wasted money on a plane ticket that wasn't going to be used. "What is going to happen with the flight? I don't want you to waste your money like that, and you know it."

The fact that she kept crying was just breaking his heart. He felt just a tiny bit helpless. Harry shook his head, because she wasn’t understanding. “I don’t want a pretend girlfriend, I want a real girlfriend.” He didn’t look at her as ‘that girl my rep hired’ anymore. She was Selena to him and she always would be. He took her other free hand in his, squeezing on both of them as he made her look at him. He wanted to come across as clear and sincere because he was and he wanted her to know that. “I want you, Selena.” 

Her heart melted when Harry said that he wanted her. Those simple words made her smile and she could feel her cheeks blushing slighty. Squeezing his hands, Selena bit her lower lip before saying, "Really? Because I want you, Harry Styles. What a coincidence." At that moment, she knew that everything was going to be alright. They were making up and hopefully they'll have some time alone before the tour starts. "Does this means that we're fine now? I can hug you now or you will push me away?"

He was practically beaming when Selena admitted that she liked him as well, mostly from relief, but the smile completely disappeared from his face when he saw her eyes begin to water. No matter what they were going through, he hated seeing her cry. Feeling his stomach drop, Harry acted on pure instinct as he scooted closer on the couch so their knees were pressed together. Even though it was probably another wrong move, Harry took her hand in his, lacing their fingers together and said, “So, then, just don’t. Don’t go.” 

Selena shook her head as tears rolled down her cheeks. "I can't, Harry." She sobbed, "I-It's not because I-I don't want to. But I-I can't keep acting that we're perfectly fine when we're not even together. I-It hurts me a lot, and I can't do that anymore." Showing weakness was something she hated. That's why she pushed people away when there was something going on. Selena always wanted to be one of those girls who wouldn't give a fuck about anything. "I-I'm sure you'll find someone better. A real actress, someone who will do it just fine."

Everything she was saying to him felt like a goodbye and Harry didn’t know what else to say except for what he had been saying for the past few days. “Right, well, I’m sorry again.” It was probably stupid of him to keep trying but he just didn’t want to keep everything inside anymore, especially not when a new feeling was taking over. This feeling was new to him, mostly due to the fact that all of his girlfriends had been either the hump and dump kind or the kind where he never really felt anything to begin with so he never fought for them when they left. Selena was something different though. “For what it’s worth, I still really like you. A lot.” 

"Also, I never tried to make you jealous with that guy. I swear. He wasn't even that hot." Selena added with her eyebrows raised. Cheating on Harry was the most stupid thing - he was sweet, caring, funny and quite handsome. She hoped that his next girlfriend would treat him right, just like he deserves to be treated.  For him everything was easier, Selena's face wasn't in magazines, backpacks, big posters and even underwear. Those words made her lose it. Her eyes started to water and her lower lip to quiver. "I like you too, Harry, so much." She admitted and looked down at her lap, not wanting him to see her like this, vulnerable and broken.

Looking up at her suddenly, Harry quietly asked, “Never?” And then he shook his head, feeling incredibly stupid and hoping she couldn’t see the way his face was heating up. “Right, never. Yeah. Of course.” It wasn’t like he and Selena were even friends or anything. He had obviously destroyed that along with their relationship. It just made him feel sad to know that this was probably the absolute last time he would ever see or talk to her. Not really thinking about his words before he said then, Harry blurted out, “This may sound so pathetic and be the absolute wrong time to ask this, but is it bad that I don’t want you to go?” 

Furrowing her eyebrows, Selena stared at him before slowly nodding her head. It was quite strange that he asked her that, but she decided to shrug it off. Going back home a few months ago sounded like a brilliant idea - Selena missed her family a lot. However, now she wanted to stay with Harry and make everything work. It wasn't that easy, though, and the brunette really wanted him to be happy even if it was without her in his life. Selena's eyes widened at his statement and she stared at him like if he was crazy. A small laugh escaped her lips before answering, "I don't want to go, I really don't. But I can't do this anymore. We are hurting each other, and it's not working for me."

Before she could quite possibly get upset again, Harry thought it was the right time to just say everything he was feeling. She was already leaving so what was the use in holding in anymore? Still holding onto her arms he explained, “Ever since that party and our breakup, you’ve been sending me mixed signals. It’s like you like me one minute and I get hope that we could eventually get back together but then you ignore me the next minute and I’m stuck wondering what I did wrong because you never tell me.” He shrugged and continued, “I don’t want you to hug me and like me now if in five minutes you’re going to hate me again. Just to save us both the trouble.” 

Taking a deep breath, Selena listened to him without saying a word. What he said was nothing but the truth, and she felt bad for making him feel that way. "I don't want to talk about this in the freaking bathroom," Selena said before getting her arms out of his grip. She took his wrist and lead him to the couch, sitting down on it and pulling Harry down with her. "Listen, this week has been nothing but hell. I never wanted to make you feel bad, really. I ignored you because I thought that it would help me to forget about you, but that didn't work at all. Giving you mixed signals was never my intention, in fact, I just wanted you to leave me alone." She said calmly as she played with her fingers. "But you won't have to worry about that anymore, I'm leaving tomorrow and we'll never see each other again."

When the elevator opened up on the right floor, Harry stepped out and fished around in his pocket for the room key. It took him a moment because he had to put the flowers down but soon he was in the room. He hoped she was awake. Luckily, Harry saw her sitting on the couch and before he could chicken out, he walked over to the couch, in front of the television. It felt like a goodbye, but Harry held the flowers out to her and said, “These are for you.” His nerves jumped suddenly, his mind racing with terrible thoughts like she was going to just throw them back in his face or something, so Harry set them on the couch beside her and quickly retreated to the bathroom, closing door behind himself before he leaned up against it and let out a breath.

The thought of never seeing him again made her heart ache and her eyes water. Despite the little arguments they had, Harry always was the one who could make Selena smile in a heartbeat. The curly haired boy was already a big part of her life, and she knew that forgetting wasn't an option. Blinking away the tears that had formed in her eyes, she listened to door opening. The brunette couldn't believe what was going on, and no words came out of her mouth. Flowers - a lot of them, were now placed beside her. Smiling like a fool was the only thing she could do at the moment. Harry was making everything harder for her, but she couldn't be mad at him for being so sweet even after her actions. Standing up and knocking the door, Selena opened it and wrapped her tiny arms around his torso, nuzzling her face on his neck..

He was absolutely dreading the fact that they’d have to share a hotel room but only because he was scared of upsetting her again. He was definitely sleeping on the couch. He waited outside of the restaurant for a car to come pick him up, and when it did, he spent most of the ride silent. The only moment he spoke, however, was to ask the driver to pull over because there was a street vendor selling flowers on the side of the road. Without thinking too much into it, Harry got out and bought a giant bouquet of red roses. They were obviously for Selena and he didn’t even know if she wanted to speak to him, but it was his last act of kindness towards her. He just hoped that she liked them. 

She was totally drained. It was such a long day and she didn't sleep the night before, and that made her want to throw herself in the bed and sleep. Despite how tired Selena was, she decided to stay awake and watch some TV. The brunette was now wearing pajama pants and a white tank top, in case she decided to go to the lobby and walk around. Harry never replied to her text and it bothered a little, she was quite worried about him. Just because things didn't work between them it meant that she suddenly stopped caring. Leaving him alone was the last thing she wanted to do, because without him everything was so different - but it was necessary, Selena wanted him to be happy and enjoy himself.