Science as Fuck

i think you should be able to emoji react to MyChart lab results

my skills include reading an entire page of an academic text without absorbing a single word

Active voice: I will write Passive voice: Writing will be done Passive-aggressive voice: I love how you always say you’ll write but never do

Me, a zoologist, to the last two living pandas

over-explaining everything because you’re scared of not making sense or people thinking you’re stupid

the thrilling sequel: under-explaining everything because you’re afraid of being seen as a rambling mess

the stunning conclusion: wildly varying between both based off the most recent way you’ve fucked up 

Greetings professor, I did not do your assignment because I am mentally ill

Greetings student, I did not grade your assignment because I am also mentally ill

did u know: according to scientists, in October the mitochondria turns into the frightochondria and becomes the haunted house of the cell

This should not have made me laugh

As a scientist I can confirm

Listen everyone just cause your in a scientific field doesn’t make you smart enough to not make mistakes in the field

10 000 Fuck