Random Things I Overhear At School

“Do you want to be maced? Do you want your carrots to be seasoned?”

*literally yelling across the lunch room*: “YOUR TUMMY IS OUT. YOUR TUMMY. GREYSON. YOUR TUM TUMS”

“The only PDA I like is public displays of aggression”

“Wow, that’s very hetero of you. Check yourself”

“Aw, I liked that arm. I’ve had it my whole life”

“If you were a character from blues clues, you’d be the notebook”

“You guys won’t believe me but I definitely saw Vin Deisel at Walmart”

“The children yearn for the mines, bring them back to the dirt where they belong”

“We are doing the funny but the funny be doing”

“If you tell me one pun, I’m going to kill you”

“Tony Hawk is the most oldest teenager I know”

“Oh no! The white homosapien is eating real food! Skittles!”

“What are we epiphanizing about?”

“If we pull all of the tables out, maybe it’s like a metaphor for capitalism”

“I am the type of person to get stuck in a fridge and die in the 80s”