Schinug

Pairing: John Logan x reader

Summary: Secretly learning to ice skate, partying with my friends, and having a huge crush on John—it was just bound to go wrong.

Parts: one,two,three,four,five,six, seven

I woke up blinking hard against the sunlight filtering through my curtains. Turning off the alarm blindly. I pulled the covers over my head planning on hiding from the world as long as possible. Last night was a train wreck. I didn't want to think about it but their faces kept flashing before my eyes. How can I get back from that?  Biting my lower lip softly I felt tears welling up in my eyes again. Wrapping myself in my blanket like it's a cocoon, ditching my classes of the day and ignoring any form of contact I was effectively avoiding everything and anyone. I had spent the whole morning in bed, not moving an inch, just blankly staring at nothing. Wallowing in self-pity won't undo what's happened. Sitting up reluctantly I pulled my knees up to my chest, hugging them tightly.  How I hated my inner voice. Always pushing, always blunt, never reassuring or god forbit soothing. Scoffing, I looked straight ahead, gaze catching the pictures on the wall. There was one of Beau and me when we got accepted to Briar, beaming from ear to ear. One of the Boys and me after they won their first hockey game together. A small involuntary half smile appeared on my face. A picture of Dean and Beau throwing me into the pool, it was snapped mid fly, my face contorted in pure shock. Polaroids from the fashion show I had with Hannah and Allie, wearing the most ridiculous outfits imaginable. It had felt like a montage of a teen movie, dressing up for fun and posing like we were models. In between, the graduation pictures from high school, my parents at my side. The smile slowly faded away. Feeling my throat closing up, I tore my gaze away from the picture. Big girls don’t cry. I could picture him perfectly, standing imposing, eyes demanding me to be sturdy. Voice ordering me to be strong. I never was tough enough. Licking my lips I bit down hard. Look at me now, basking in melancholy like it would do me any good. Pathetic.

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It was late afternoon when I had managed to at least take a shower and move to my deskchair. Peering out the window I watched the people walking around campus, talking, laughing, some rushing, others lazily sitting down on the grass. It was quite peaceful observing the world from the safe space of my room. The peace was disturbed by a soft thud at the door. I could ignore it but there was the possibility of my roommate having locked herself out. Debating with myself I heard another thud. Begrudgingly I went to the door. Opening it i saw 

Dean in front of my dorm room. Moving on instinct I pushed the door in his direction. As I went to shut it in his face he forced his foot in between.

 “Wait, I come in Peace. “

“Go away.”

"Y/N, please."

“I don't want your pity.”

“I didn't come to pity you, I swear. I just wanted to make sure you're okay, give you some comfort if you let me.” 

The devastating honesty in his eyes pulled at my fragile heartstrings. Losing the hostile tone in my voice I told him that I didn't want his comfort. Noticing me caving he pressed again, careful not to push to fare. 

“Can I please come in for a bit?”

“Dont make me regret this.” 

We sat awkwardly on the couch in the livingroom, both not sure how to proceed from there. “I won't ask if you're okay, that would be dumb.” He muttered lowly. It was unusual for Dean to be this quiet. “Good to see there are still a few working brain cells up there." I  stated dryly. The corners of his mouth twitch in amusement. “I am sorry for prying that confession out of you.” Swallowing hard, I clenched my fist.  “You should be.” He looked at me, regret clear in his eyes. “I should have listened to you, but when I saw your tears something in me broke.” His voice cracked slightly at the end. Glancing at his side profile, I saw how his jaw flexed, eyes downcast. He was still bothered by this. It's like he really cares. “I know that you did what you thought was right, that's the problem. You ignored what I had to say, mind having already decided what the truth was and how to solve it.” I was playing with the drawstrings on my hoodie, avoiding eye contact.  He hummed in acknowledgment. “You forced me to relive this painful memory.” I frowned, suddenly feeling the urge to vindicate myself. “It was humiliating. It was none of your Business.” His hand tentatively touched mine, giving it a squeeze as if to say I am here, let it out. Glaring at the vase on the coffee table I continued my rant, temper rising. “I was this close to Re Establishing the easy going way Logan and I interacted with before. But you lot kept bugging and intruding. Monitoring every damned breath I took, turning this into something completely different.” Gripping his hand harder I took a deep breath, calming myself. He didn't say anything, just held my hand and sat in silence with me. Slowly his thumb rubbed soothing circles on my hand. Breaking the silence he turned fully to face me. “You’re like my little sister, I just want to keep you safe. I am deeply sorry for the way I did it but I don't regret stepping up for you.” I didn't have any siblings growing up. I couldn't possibly understand what it felt like but I wanted to believe that what I felt in that moment was close to it. I was still mad at him, but having here with me felt good. I enjoyed his company even though he made me furious. Granting him a crooked smile I whispered “You're like the brother I never wanted.” Dean laughed, a grateful smile on his face showing his dimples. He carefully pulled me into his arms. My head settled against his chest, his chin on top of it. “Thank you Ducky.” “Mm, you're not forgiven just yet.” “I know, but it's a start.” Pulling away I had a teasing smile on my face. “Who knew Dean Di Laurentis is such a softie."  Pretending to be offended he clutched his chest. “I am not a softie.” “Sure, buddy.” Chuckling lightly, I felt a tad lighter now. Face turning uncomfortable again Dean scratched his neck “At the risk of upsetting you again-.” I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. 

“You should talk with Beau.”

“No.”

“He is devastated. Just give him a chance to explain himself like me.”

“This is different, Dean.” I scooted farther away from him, pulling my knees up.

“You two are basically inseparable. There's no Beau without You.” He was pleading with me. 

“Yeah, we were. That's why this stings so much worse.” I paused, looking at Dean, like really looking at him to make him understand.

”He is the person I trusted the most.”

“He wanted to help.” 

“Oh yeah? By spreading rumors about my alleged sexlife?” I snapped, voice breaking at the end. Turning away, the corners of my mouth tugged down on their own. Letting my anger at Beau out on Dean was wrong but it was so easy to get lost in the red haze. “I don't want to fight.” I sighed defeated. “I will talk with Beau when I am ready, he has to wait however long that will take.” Hearing the finality in my voice he nodded somberly. He didn't say anything after that but I could basically feel his nerves. He clearly wanted to say something else but was too afraid of ruining this little peaceful quiet again.  

“Spit it out.”

“What?”

“Come one, you clearly have something on your mind.”

"I am afraid it will upset you.” He sounded so sincere, my heart clenched in my chest. 

“Nothing new these days.” At my cynical replay Dean faltered. “Just say it okay?” I softened my voice, encouraging him to speak his mind. Taking a deep breath he steeled his nerves.

“I know your love life is none of my business, but you and Logan-” My hand clamped over his lips before he could continue. I felt a deep ache in my chest. “I believe it's clear that there is no Logan and I.” Laughing humorlessly I bit my lower lip "I am not even sure if we're still friends.” Even though I tried to hide the pain inside my voice Dean obviously caught one to the underlying sadness. His blue eyes filled with sympathy. Delicately wrapping his fingers around my wrist he tugged my hand away. “I have no idea what's exactly going on between you two but he cares about you.” It seemed to cost him to say this. I just humed. Not so sure he still cares. “Well, it was surprisingly nice to see you but I would like to be alone again.” The corners of my mouth twitch upwards in a fleeting, gentle curve. “Okay, but if you don't want to be alone anymore give me a call okay? I will be there.” Dean genuinely cared. “I will. Thank you Deano.” Cringing at the nickname he ruffled my hair. “Always Ducky.”

The talk with Dean was weirdly helpful. It didn't erase what happened but it served to drag me out of my hole. It was dark outside when I was weighing the pros and the cons and decided to turn my phone back on again. One day of hiding in my room and skipping classes was manageable but I had to get a grip if I didn't want to fail this semester. Once my phone was on again I was bombarded with messages and missed calls. None from Logan. It shouldn't have hurt like it did. I had already dreaded that he would simply withdraw himself ....its something he was quite good at. Running from problems. Like your one to talk. Swiping all of the messages to the side I saw one from my father. It was as if time had stopped. I stared in disbelief at his name over the message. He hadn't tried to reach out since… . Swallowing, I contemplated simply ignoring it but some buried part in me couldn't. Finger hovering over the display, I froze.  Hear hammering loudly. It's only a stupid message. Who cares, it's not going to be important. Clicking my eyes flittered over the screen. I huffed, lips quivering. What did you expect? You naive, stupid, little girl. I pressed my lips into a tight, thin line. Feeling a storm of emotions raging inside me, I decided to grab my skates. Make use of the storm on the ice.

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The rink was empty when I entered, practice having ended nearly two hours ago. Tightening my skates hazardously my brain was running a mile a minute. I was suddenly so full of adrenalin. It was like electricity pumping through my veins and the only way to work through this sudden spike was pushing my body till it collapsed. Tightening the lacing of my skate I flexed my jaw. Every muscle in my body was tight. I left my jacket and scarf on the bench, hoping the cold would help ground me. 

After the initial wobbly steps, I regained my balance way quicker than a week ago. Putting one foot in front of the other, pushing my body forward, I gained some speed. Finishing my third round without falling I forced my legs to push harder against the ice. You're too sensitive. You are too clumsy. You need to overcome your inability. Gliding over the ice, face contorted in bitterness I went even faster. I did this. I made it on my own. I am not a quitter. Harder. Faster. Leaning my upper body forward, I surged over the frozen ground like I had never done anything else in my life. For a glorious second I felt like flying. Felt free skating over the ice till I really went flying. Holy shit. Barreling head first into the boards at maximum speed. With a loud thud I collapse against the wall, sinking down. After an initial moment of lightheadedness my head started pounding like a bitch. Tears pricking at my eyes. Deep breath. It's fine, you're okay. Just a little headache. I tried to reason with myself. I sat on the cold floor, breathing shallow, wetness and cold seeping into my legging. All of the sudden I felt something warm on my skin, sliding down my temple. Tenderly touching my forehead, I touched something wet. Lowering my hand, I slowly blinked, there was blood on my fingertips. Where's this coming from? My mind was hazy trying to make sense of this. Gaze darting from my fingers to boards behind me. I saw a little splash of red on the boards. Oh. It finally clicked. The confusion turned into irritation. Just my luck to barrel head first into the boards like a total idiot. Great Y/N. Really impressive. 

As my head stopped spinning I carefully tried to push myself up again without faceplanting on the ice. “Slow and steady.” I told myself, stretching my arms outwards to keep my balance. Still a bit dizzy, I deliberately moved to the exit. When I looked up i suddenly saw Logan appear in the tunnel. Maybe I hit my head harder than I thought. He scanned my face and started sprinting my way when he registered the blood on my forehead. “What happened?” He stepped in the rink without a second thought being at my side in three long strides. Even without skates he was still annoyingly smooth on the ice. John's warm hands on my face felt so real. I stared dreamily at his concerned face, my mind still trying to catch up. It should be illegal being this handsome. His arm snaked around my waist, stabilizing me as he slowly moved me to the exit. Once I had solid ground under my feet again my knees buckled. “Whoa, easy.” John helped me sit down carefully. His hands were on my face again as he was kneeling before me. “How bad does it hurt?” He sounded so worried. I didn't want him to worry his pretty little head about me. "Don't worry baby.” He momentarily stilled. I grind doppily before I registered what I had said. Not again. Let my head fall back against the boards in frustration I regretted it instantly . “Ouch.” I petted the back of my head, nose wrinkled in pain. 

John took a second to just stare at me before he refocused. Voice a little husky as he told me to show him where it hurt. A bit ashamed I pointed at the top of my head. “Right here.” Logan came closer to inspect my head, fingers tenderly brushing my hair to the side. His chest was in front of my face, chain dangling before my eyes. Unable to control myself I took a whiff. He smelled of mint, probably his shower gel and something distinctly John underneath. When he pulled back down to crouch in front of me, my cheeks were tinted red. Luckily he didn't comment on it. “There is a gash, seems like you hit your head pretty hard.” I started to nod before abruptly stopping as the pounding behind my temple got even worse. “Took a dive for the boards, but don't tell anyone.” Ignoring me he hooked his arm under my knee and wrapped the other around my back. “Whoa.” I protested, fingers digging into his shirt. "It's not that a big cut but we should probably let it get looked at.” We? He carefully lifted me into his arms, mindful to not jostle my head too much. “Are you dizzy or sick?” John carried me out to his truck, pressing me gently against his chest. “Yes.” He raised a brow. "Which one?” “Both.” Holding me with one hand he opened the door of his truck. Logan placed me cautiously on the seat, leaning over me to fasten the seatbelt. He jogged around the car opening his own door and immediately started the motor. “Thank you. But you don't have to do this.” His eyes drifted to me momentarily before refocusing on the street. “You can't believe I would leave you on your own with what's possibly a concussion?” His grip on the steering wheel tightened. “I wasn't even sure if you would still speak with me at this point.” I mumbled, eyes dropping. John didn't say anything for a moment. When he spoke again his voice sounded rough. “You drove me insane this past week.” I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth, gnawing lightly. “But I can't imagine never speaking to you again.” He grew quieter at the end, softer. A warm feeling of hope blossomed inside me. Maybe he does care.

Pairing: John Logan x reader

Summary: Secretly learning to ice skate, partying with my friends, and having a huge crush on John—it was just bound to go wrong.

Parts: one,two,three, four, five, six , seven

It felt like watching a movie. Logan's head snapping violently to the side. His arms rose on instinct, blocking the next swing. Dean immediately grabbed his shoulders, knocking Logan against the wall, hands fisting his collar tightly. I stood there wide eyed, frozen in shock. Everything was moving so fast. Beau stormed into the room, closely followed by Garrett and Tuck. They moved to break up the fight. Garrett grabbed Logan and Tuck wrestled Dean away. Dean shouted at Logan over Tuck's shoulder. But I didn't register the actual words. Beau seized my shoulders moving me aside. My feet were like concrete, so he had to forcefully drag me out of the room. I was distantly aware of his hands switching to holding my face, giving me a once over. What is going on? I was wholly confused. The door to the bathroom slammed loudly against the wall. Dean stormed out, chest heaving. Tucker right behind him. Whipping my cheeks I focused on the scene before me. On the Blood on Dean's knuckles. My stomach dropped. Is that Johns? Catching my frightened gaze, his eyes softened ever so lightly. He took a cautious step towards me, like approaching a frightened animal. Taking a step back I looked horrified.

“Why?” I rasped. Voice rough around the edges. Clearing my throat I stared at him, silently demanding an answer. Dean's eyes darkened again but he kept silent. “Why did you do that?” My jaw tightened, eyes narrowing. Shaking his head he clenched his fist. “Dean!” “I heard what Logan did.” He spat, teeth grinding against each other, gaze flickering behind me. No.He wouldn't. Turning my head my eyes bore into Beau, begging him to say it wasn't true. He had the decency to look guilty. Heat crawling up my neck, shame flooded my body. “You have no idea what happened." I whispered under my breath. Blood pumping faster. He doesn't know anything. How could he just- Gripping the roots of my hair, a mangled groan slipping past my lips. “Ducky.” Dean went to comfort me but I slapped his hand away. Hot, angry tears welled up in my eyes. Heartbeat speeding up. The blonds lips pressed into a thin line “I just want to protect you.” Blood rushed through my ears. Gaze growing hazy. Beau tentatively brushed his fingers with mine. My brain short circuited.

Whirling around I slammed my hands against his chest, and shoved him back a few steps before he regained his footing. “YOU HAD NO RIGHT!” He looked taken back, hands rising to calm me down. “TRAITOR!” Hitting him again his fingers enclosed around my biceps. Holding me still. Struggling against him I must have looked like a mad woman.  Finally wrenching myself free I punched him one last time  “You absolute fool!” I stepped back. Body shaking from anger. “Holy shit.” Tucker sounded alarmed. I was still trying to catch my breath, back turned to him and the others. “Who did that?” At the grave tone in Garrett's voice I finally turned. He was standing at full height, eyes directed at me but unfocused. He was waiting, deadly still, knuckles turned white. I didn't understand. “Y/N?” Beau asked carefully from behind me.

 “Did Logan do that?” 

“The Fuck?! NO!” Logan yelled appalled.

“You are a dead man!” 

Dean was ready to charge at his friend again when I rushed in front of him. “What are you talking about? Done what?” Eyes wild, Dean gave me a bewildered look. “Your waist.” He said it like it was cristaly clear what the fuck he was talking about. “My wais-” the words died on my tongue when I spotted the dark purple, bluish blotch of skin peeking out from my shirt. The hem of my shirt must have ridden up whilst jostling with Beau. I hastily pulled my shirt back down, hiding the alleged evidence. They can't seriously think he hit me? “You think John hit me?” I was aghast. “Are you actually insane?!” I turned to point at Logan. “He didn't do anything.”

“But Beau told me-”

“Total Bullshit.”

Logan flat out ignored my pleading for his innocence, brown eyes burning through my shirt, gaze fixed on the now hidden bruise. “Who did that to you?” His voice sounded strained, like it physically hurt him to keep his calm. Feeling uncomfortable under his sharp gaze, I slightly caved in on myself. “Nobody did, I just bumped my hip. I already told you.” I kept my gaze on the ground. “Bumped it?” Somebody asked skeptically. Logan exhaled sharply, a disbelieving grin on his busted lip. “You gotta stop with this crap ASAP.” I can’t do this anymore. Rubbing a hand over my eyes tiredly I tried to smile but it turned into a grimace. “I am not doing this anymore.” I took a step back, away from the group. Getting interrogated, arguing, verbally fighting with my friends. “If all you want to do is fight with me....you can...” Taking a breath, I resigned. “You can fuck off.” This was my limit. A physical fight, Beau betraying my trust, the screaming, the damned looks of pity. I was so done with this day. I just wanted to sleep and wake up from this nightmare. Logans scoffed “Oh yeah?” Meeting his eyes I felt like dying, i loved him so much it fucking hurt even tho i fought so hard not to and now, now he looked at me with disdain. I can't even blame him—it's my fault that one of his best friends punched him. “Yeah. Logan.” I deliberately said his name. This time it was a conscious choice. Voice even, void of any lingering feelings cursing through my veins. He physically flinched.

“Okay, what the hell is going on?” Tucker raised his hands,gesturing in the air looking from one to the other, trying and failing to understand this mess. “This is none of your business.” 

“We are your friends-”

 "Friends respect boundaries.” I countered. 

“Not when their friend is clearly hurting.” Garrett inched closer to me, but still keeping a safe distance so as not to startle me. I rolled my eyes so hard I was afraid they would get stuck. “Forgett it G, she's as stubborn as a mule.” Logan growled, face morphing into a deep frown. Dean's hand landed on my shoulder, moving a few steps in front of me, effectively blocking Logan. “Watch it, Logan.” Despite everything he was still in a protective mood. “You want to swing again?” He scoffed with a sneer, straightening. “If I have to.” Dean squared his shoulders, head high. “Would you stop this nonsense?!” I clutched at his upper arm. “Do I have to spell it out for you?” Yanking at his arm his head twisted to look at me. “He. Did Not. Touch. Me.” Logan's eyebrows were drawn together trying to piece together where this was even coming from. “Alli saw-”

“For crying out loud, she misunderstood the situation. He was not undressing me!” By this point my cheeks burned. John Logan’s eyes widened slightly, finally catching up. A faint red tinted the top of his ears. Tucker's brows rose so high they nearly kissed his hairline. Garrett looked thoroughly dumbfounded, eyes darting between his best friend and me. Oh god. Why? That was the moment Alli decided to appear, turning the corner to the bathrooms. Her steps faltered when she saw us standing there, tension thick enough to cut. “Whats going on here?” I had to bite my tongue so as not to snap at her. I knew she didn't mean any harm with it. “What did you see on the weekend trip?” Garrett inquired with the steely calm only he could portail. Understanding immediately her mouth opened, creating an O shape. She blinked nervously. “When I went to get a glass of water I saw that her door was ajar. I didn't want to spy, I swear-” Eyes pleading with me. “She was with Logan, he was holding her close and he-... well he was pulling her shirt over her head. I immediately left. I promise.” Pinching myself discreetly, I attempted to ground myself. "That's not true.” John uttered from behind me, voice tight. “Ducky?” Beau dared to ask.

 “Oh now you care what I have to say?”

“I tried to ask you but you wouldn't answer.”

“Maby because it's none of your concern.”

“I am just worried something happened and you are too afraid to talk about it.”

“We're spinning in circles here.” 

“Just tell the truth.” 

“Just back off!” 

“I did not pull it up, I pulled it down.” Logan effectively put an end to the arguing. I subconsciously clenched my hands tightly. His words pulled me back to that night, world blurring before my eyes.

“Don’t.” He pulled back, face contorting in anguish. “Why not?” I whispered, hands clutching his shoulders. “You are clearly intoxicated.” “I know what I am doing. I want this.” Gazing longingly at him, hand caressing his jaw “I want you.” My heart nearly burst out of my chest. This was it, I’ve laid all my cards on the table.

My hands started to cramp up. “Pulled it down?” Tucker asked innocently, trying to clarify. “Why would you do that?” Allie questioned puzzled. I began to tremble imperceptibly. Garrett noticed that something was wrong. “Guys-.” “Now wait a damn minute, why would you need to pull it down in the first place.” Dean cut Garrett of. My thoughts drowned out their voices.

“Please stop.” He doesn't want you. How could he. Biting my lip I forced the voices to quieten down. “Y/N.” His voice sounded pacifying. John's thumb brushed gently over the back of my hand. Acting on panic I gripped the hem of my shirt pulling it over my head. His hands shot forward, stopping me. Heart thundering wildly in my chest when he pulled it down deliberately and our gaze met again. John's facial expression was pained. Desperately fighting impending agony I asked . “You don't want to sleep with me?” God how pathetic can you be? No wonder he's not interested. He let go of me, bringing space between us. “We're friends.” My chest tightened in agony. “Right.” Mouth twitching into a sorrowful smile. “Sorry.” Swallowing hard I gripped my forearms, holding myself together. How can you be this stupid? “Maybe we should give each other some space for now.” John muttered gravely. Biting the inside of my cheek too hard I faintly tasted iron, mind slowly dissociating. “Yeah.” 

When my mind returned to Malone’s I was as pale as a sheet. Acid burned at the back of my throat, I was going to be sick. “Whoa, what's going on? Do you need to sit down?” Garrett was at my side in seconds. I was too far gone to register him fully. I just wanted to escape this situation. Escape this torment, this storm of sorrowful memories. The only way is to just say it. Stop being a spineless wimp. My face was apathetic as I laid myself bare. “I tried to seduce him but he did not want me.” There was deathly silence. All eyes on me. “He pulled my shirt down to stop my pathetic attempt to sleep with him.” I heard myself like I was underwater. Muffled. Distorted. Now it was out, open to be dissected and prodded at. Nobody dared to say a word. The reactions varied between bewilderment, misery and pity. I was completely humiliated. Again. Not being able to withstand this any longer, I ran. I fled like a total coward. Rushing into the night, swallowing my sobs.

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Collapsing on my bed I screamed in silence. Mouth wide open, eyes shut and body shaking. There was a familiar feeling of compression in my chest. Lungs seemingly constricting.

Pairing: John Logan x reader

Summary: Secretly learning to ice skate, partying with my friends, and having a huge crush on John—it was just bound to go wrong.

Parts: one,two,three, four, five, six, seven

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” a far away Look in my eyes.

 “Y/N.” 

Beau never called me by my name. Since he came up with Ducky when we first met it's basically my given name. Most of my friends adapted to it, there's hardly any person left to call me by my birthname, except for John. So hearing him call me Y/N felt heavy. Like this was really serious. 

“I am serious. I don't know what Allie believes she has seen but…He didn't…We didn't.” I sighed, rubbing a hand over my face. This conversation felt too intimate. Beau was arguably my best friend but this was too close to home. I never wanted to speak about this. With anyone. “I drunkenly kissed him.” I confessed quietly. The memory of the kiss was successfully buried in the depths of my brain, shoved into a tiny corner far from the light. Stomach twisting painfully at the reminder. There are lots of blurry images left from that night at the Cabin I wished to just forget. It was a rare occurrence for me to have drunk that much. I disdained being intoxicated. It left one helpless, control slipping away with every sip. But that night I just wanted to let loose, forget about the real world with its real problems and just have fun with my friends. No pressure, no fear, no pain. But it turned sideways as soon as Logan and I were alone. Desperately wanting to be held for one night. To be desired for just a moment. Feeling wanted. A tear escaped the corner of my eye. Beau gripped my hand, squeezing it softly. I was so dumb to think he would give me that. We are friends. Never more. Blinking rapidly I laughed quietly, masking the pain. “A foolish drunken peck on the lips, nothing more.” Taking a deep breath I forced a sickeningly sweet smile onto my lips. “That's all there is to know. End of Story.” Swiftly tearing my hand from his hold I stood up. "Hey, wait!" Beau protested, reaching for me. Stepping back I withdraw myself. “This Conversation is over. I don't want to talk about this anymore.” “You can't just bury all your feelings, it will eat you alive.“ Not listening to a word he said I bailed “See you at Karaoke.”

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Sitting at my desk, course work in front of me I stared at diagrams and text passages. Forcing myself to work. Blocking out everything else. After about two hours I slammed my books shut, raking my hands aggressively through my hair. I couldn't remember even one sentence I wrote down. Putting my notes in order I cleaned up my desk. This is useless. 

Lifting myself I kicked my chair against the table. Instantly wincing after as my hip stung in protest to the abrupt movement. Stupid fucking bullshit! This day was a total shit show. How can just a few hours create this much chaos? Snapping at Logan, arguing with Beau and seemingly having all my friends worry that I lost it. As if to put the cherry on top my mom called again. Closing my eyes I debated with myself to just ignore her call again. It's not her fault. She just wants to help. How ungrateful of me. Accepting her call I moved to my bed. Mattress squeaking slightly under my weight.

“Hey mom, sorry for not answering your  call earlier. I was on my way to class.”

“No worries, how are you?”

“I am fine.” 

“Honey...” She paused.

“I know you are strong but it's okay to feel bad sometimes.” I stayed silent pressing my teeth into my lower lip, breathing getting harder. Throat constricting. 

“You don't have to endure this alone.”

“I know.” My voice is hoarse. My mother doesn't comment on it but her voice softens even more. 

“He still loves you, you know that honey, right?” Feeling my eyes glaze over, I grimace. Mouth pressed into a thin line. Clearing my through “Yes mom.” Not even I am convinced.

Whipping at my nose, I licked my lips.

“Listen, mom. Thank you for your call. Don't worry about me. I-” Pausing I pushed my fingernails into my palm, forcing my brain to re focus on the physical pain.

“I can handle it. But I need to get ready, the others and I are meeting at Malone’s.”

“Oh, okay. Have fun and don't ever forget how much I love you.” Squeezing my eyes shut to stop the tears I mumble.

“I love you too mum. By.” 

Letting my phone fall onto my bed I pressed my fist onto my lips, muffling my raged breaths. It's okay. I am okay. Curling into myself, bullying my feelings back inside. Breath in. Hold. Breath out. Hold. Loosening my fist I pressed my palms on my tights. Malones. Nodding my head like I was in trance. I moved on autopilot. I had to get ready, show my friends that I was okay. Showering, blowing my hair out, applying mascara and lipstick. Moving calm and steady.

It wasn't until I stood in the doorway of Malone’s that I came back to reality.

The Bar / Dinner was packed with Briar students. Some kid belting out wrecking ball on stage. Scanning the area it was still fairly easy to spot the Group of 6 foot hockey players. They mingled at the counter laughing at something Tucker had said. Hannah was behind the counter serving drinks. Whilst walking over I brought an effortless-looking smile on my lips. Having spotted me first Hannah waved. “Hey.” Slinging my arm across Dean's waist I shoved my head between him and Tucker. “What's up, losers?” I cheerfully chirped. Dean instinctively pulled me into him “Look who finally lightened up.” Pinching his side I shifted my attention to Hannah. “Could I have two rounds of shots please?” “Sure thing.” She directly started pouring. “Shots? What's your mission tonight?” Garrett asked. “Ever heard of having fun Graham?” I sarcastically asked, lips shifting into a smirk. Dean's laughter rumbled through his whole body. "Shots fired.” Tucker chuckled on my other side. Garrett held up his hands in mock surrender.

The next moment Hannah placed a Tray with 10 shoots in front of us on the counter. “Alright Boys, bottoms up.” I grabbed a tiny glass holding it up. Dean and Tucker took theirs without hesitation. John took a second to think it over "Don't leave me hanging.” I teased before he also grabbed one. My insides churned when our gaze met. The charming smile on his lips did not reach his eyes. Not able to take his stormy gaze any longer I looked at Garrett and eagerly nudged the glass towards him. "Don't be a baby G.” He rolled his eyes but took the glass. Tilting my face upward I declared “Here’s to those who wish us well; all the rest can go fuck themselfs.” “Aye!” The boys shouted and then we all threw our heads back and downed the shots. I slammed my glass down on the counter with a bit too much force. Dean gave me a curious look but said nothing. Reaching for the second one I Beau came around. Catching Hannah's eyes I pointed with my finger to the shot and signaled one more. She nodded, filling one for Beau.

“Doing shots without me?” He asked, feigning indignation. I gave him a quick hug “I would dare, handsome.” He smiled uncurtained. “You better not Ducky.” The Boys shared a confused look at the obvious tension between us. “Here you go.” Hannah announced placing the shot with the others. Handing out shots I didn't accept a no. “Come one, you guys are so big you won't even feel it.” I pointedly look up at them. “You can't argue against science.” Dean shrugged his shoulders smiling mischievously. “Thats not science.” John said. Giving him a side eye I countered “Seems like someone doesn't know basic physiology.” “Sorry, I was busy with anatomy.” he retorted with an arrogant smirk on his lips. The boys made dramatic “Ooh” sounds. Feeling my chest tighten. Flashes of him pushing me gently but firmly away. The pure embarrassment I felt. “Were friends Y/N”. The devastation that he also didn't want me. I bit the inside of my cheek, pulling my mind back into the current situation. Act normal. Friends tease each other. “Sounds depressing when you know what it looks like but not how to use it.” I bit back. Pinching my brows together I frowned in mock concern “Poor Puck Bunnies.” Garrett erupted into loud laughter. Logan stared at me, "Jealouse?" YES. "Off, what? One minute of fumbling around in the dark?” Seemingly speechless he flexed his jaw. “God damn.” Dean whistled. Not wanting to dwell on this, I raised my glass again. “Your drinking with me or not?” The boys took their glasses, even Logan. “Heres to me, heres to you, fuck the rest were briar u.” Dean proclaimed, clicking his glasses with the group. Downing my shot I shook my head, as the alcohol burnt down my throat. Putting my glass down I felt Beau watching me. Nudging his shoulder playfully, I sent him what I hoped was a reassuring smile.  

 “So what are you singing tonight?” I took a look around, taking a big sip of Deans beer as he weakly protested. “Defenetly not singing." Garrett announced, winking at Welly when she rolled her eyes at him. Skipping Logan I turned to Tuck. “You missed my performance.” Tucker shrugged, smiling apologetic. “What? Nooo.” I pouted, genuinely disappointed. “This sucks.” Tucker's Karaoke performances were fun to witness. Craning my neck to look up at the blond who just stole back his beer he shook his head. “Nah uh.”

 “Oh, come one Deanie.” I gave him my best puppy dog eyes. He held my chin between thumb and pointer finger moving my head from side to side. “Noo-oo.” 

“You are no fun.” 

“Oh I am plenty of fun when I put my mouth to better use.” He wiggled his eyebrows with a dirty smirk. Fake gaging, I moved away from him. “Disgusting.” The boys laughed. I turned to look at the stage as some boy I vaguely remember from freshman year was starting to rap Eminem's Business. He was doing a solid job. I felt myself moving my head in rhythm, vibing. “Hes not bad. “ Jules suddenly appeared on my right. Gripping my chest I signed. “Jezz, do you want to give me a heart attack?" Jules just held the Karaoke list in my direction. “Heard you wanted to sing.” “What? Well..I..” Stammering, I tried to buy myself some time, looking for some way out. I loved to watch the other but for me to sing I had to have a really good time. “Our Nightingale would love to sing us a song.” Logan snarked, taking a sip of his beer. Eyes burning into mine.  What are you playing at?! At a loss of words I made some weird noises. Dean snorted “I think you broke her.” Tuck and Garrett snickered whilst Beau watched me with concern. Feeling uneasy, I ripped the clipboard from Jules hands scribbling down a song. “Thats going to be the best damn performance of all time.” I grumbled under my breath handing the List back. John kept me under his scrutinizing gaze. Ordering a drink I took a second to collect myself.

My head was already swimming, the music was too loud, Beau looked at me like I was a kicked puppy and Logan. I didn't even want to start with Logan. When we parted that morning he was worried and concerned, now he seems pissed. And they say Girls are moody. Swallowing a big gulp of my Moscow mulle Dean touched my upper arm. “Oookay Ducky baby, I love the enthusiasm but slow down a bit, yeah?” Cringing at the burn from the vodka I gave him a thumbs up. “Dont worry, after that only water.” “Thats good, we wouldn't want to relive the weekend trip." Garrett joked, unaware how hard his words hit me. My body went rigid. Straightening to my full height, my muscles straining. It was like a bucket of ice cold water was dumped over me. “Excuse me, m’gona powder my nose.” I didn't recognize my voice as I hurried to the bathroom.

Locking the stall behind me I pressed the back of my hand against my lips. Stifling my pathetic sob. Closing my eyes. Breath. Just Breath. Feeling tears in my eyes I bit into my hand. Hard. The pulsing pain from my skin helped me suppress the building grief. You can't lose something you never had. I reasoned with myself. A fist pounded against my door. Shrinking, I turned, looking at the faded blue of the door. “It's me. Are you okay? You ran off with that look on your face.” Hearing his voice was like a punch in the stomach. Swallowing hard, I debated if I should answer or not. Silence. “I know you're in there Sweetheart." He sounded mildly annoyed. “Talk to me.” Pushing my nails into the palms of my hands  I found my voice. “Everything is okay.” “That's bullshit and you know it!” His voice was rough, anger showing clearly. This sudden fury made me flinch. “I said I am fine Logan.” My voice wavered, diminishing any change of sounding truthful. “See?! You never call me Logan.” Blinking in surprise, I scrunched my nose. Raking my brain I came to the conclusion he was right. It wasn't planned, it had just happened unconsciously. “Open the Door Y/N.” He commanded, voice taut. 

I hastily whipped at my face, hoping that my eyes didn't betray me. “You need to take a step back.” I ordered him softly, hand laying on the handle. He exhaled loudly through his nose but then I heard the shuffling of shoes on the floor. Unlooking the door I opened it peeking outside. There the corner of this tiny bathroom stood John, back against the wall, arms crossed before his chest filling the whole room with his presence. His jaw was tight, the brown eyes I usually love to look at, practically glowed with silent rage. But once his gaze settled on my glassie eyes his face slacked. Fire simmering down. He wanted to take a step towards me but I held out my hand. "I was just sick, it's fine.” The fire burned up again. “If you say fine one more god damn time i am gonna..” He practically growled. My head was spinning. What is going on? “Why are you like that ?” I felt too tired to care, I was giving my all to understand this, understand him.  Logan ran his finger through his hair, stalling. Exhaling loudly I closed my eyes. “You're scaring me.” He was so quiet I nearly didn't understand him. Raising my eyebrows I was completely confused. “I?” Pointing at my chest. “Scare you?” Scoffing in disbelief I shook my head. “Not like that Dopey. Your behavior.” He rolled his eyes. “I literally didn't do anything this week except argue with you lot, to get off my back.” I was getting fed up with this whole ordeal. Love or no love. John was pushing all the wrong buttons. “Oh you put on quite the spectacle there. And coddling you doesn't seem to cut it.” He came toward me with heavy steps, towering over me. “Whatever bipolar bullshit you're playing has to end now! Just talk about what's clearly eating you alive.” How dare you! I snapped. Hands on his chest I pushed him with all my might catching him off guard. “Youre one to talk.” My voice rose higher, louder. “You!” Angry tears brimming in my eyes. “ YOU. EMOTIONALLY. CONSTIPATED. ASSHOLE!” I pushed him with every word till his back hit the wall. In that moment the door swung open revealing Dean. He was already tense, face agitated but when surveied the room, seeing the tears slowly roll down my cheek and trembling hands clutching at Logan his face turned murderers. “You know she's off limits you prick! How dare you touch her!” His voice thundered through the bathroom. Before I could comprehend what was happening Dean pulled me from John and punshed him square in the face. 

To be countinued....

Hey everyone, thanks so much for your comments❤️ i realy appreciat them.

Get ready—things are going to get rough before we hopfully reach a happy end.

Pairing: John Logan x reader

Summary: Secretly learning to ice skate, partying with my friends, and having a huge crush on John—it was just bound to go wrong.

Parts: one,two,three,four,five,six,seven

"Did Logan do something?”

Sitting up straight my voice nearly cracked.

“What?! Why would you ask that?”

“I heard you yelled at him during class.”

“We had a misunderstanding. I did not yell at him.” I clarified. Scrunching my brows I wondered where he even heard that. “Did he say that?” Uncertainty festering in my tone. He shook his head reassuring me “Heard it from one of the Football guys.” Astonishing how fast rumours can spread. “If there's something going on between you guy's-.” "There's nothing going on with Logan.” Cheeks heating up. Upon seeing my rosy cheeks Beau chuckled, eyebrow raised teasingly “Blushing over nothing then, huh?” Narrowing my eyes I crossed my arms before my chest. “We are just friends." Still unconvinced he pressed further into the details of my “friendship” with Logan. I kept deflecting and denying basically every accusation from Beau. I built a metaphorical wall around my heart, keeping my real feelings for John safe and protected from the outside world. They were mine entirely.

But Beau deemed himself unteachable. At one point his face basically screamed “I know exactly what's going on, who are you kidding?” Shaking my head vehemently, I sternly told him “Leave it alone.” His expression turned serious again, voice low and even “Listen, I know that you like Logan-.” “Sure I like him, he is my FRIEND.” I pronounced every letter with clear precision. He raised a brow. “Don’t you dare give me that look.” I pointed at him with my fork. “If he turned you down he's an-” I shush him waving my hand in front of me. “Stop it. Nobody rejected any one. There's nothing to even be rejected. We're just friends. A guy and a girl being friends, nothing spectacular. No romance bulshit or fuzzy feelings. OKAY?!” I had to take a sip from my water to stop my rambling. Beau stared at me in bewilderment. That was a lot of words in approximately 6 seconds. He folded his hands in front of him and slightly leaned over the table. “For just a friend that was a lot of nervous babbling.” He looked annoyingly smug. “Oh, sue me. I ramble regularly, that means nothing.” Defusing the situation he held his hands high, palms up.

“Fine. Okay so you yelled at your friend-.”

“Did not yell.”

“Stop interrupting me.”

“Only when you stop spreading misinformation."

Beau leaned over the table, hand clamping over my mouth. “Why were you fighting with Logan? Has he hurt you?” The only person hurting me is myself. Licking his palm to free myself  “Beau, please. No he did not and it wasn't even a fight.” I held one hand up showing I wasn't finished yet. “You heard some dumb rumor and are totally blowing this out of proportion.” I stared him down daring him to fight me on this. The man that he is, he went in. “You are clearly struggling with something.” I kept my face neutral, not breaking eye contact. “And you have feelings for Logan-” He sent me a pointed look, begging me silently to stay quiet. I kept my mouth shut. “Since the weekend trip two weeks ago you have been spiraling.”  Seeing my raised brow he nodded at me to say something. “Even if I were spiraling, which for the record I am not, what would that have to do with Logan?” He was seemingly arguing something in his head before he decided to just say it.

“Allie told me.”

Scrunching my nose in confusion I didn't understand anything anymore.

“Told you what?” 

Beau pursed his lips, clearly uncomfortable.

“She saw you two together in your room.” He had paused, watching my expression closely.

“How He undressed you.”

It was as if time had ceased to be. The World around me blurred, colors fading into each other. 

Weekend trip two weeks earlier:

Moving my hips casually from side to side I playfully danced with Hannah. Garrett was not far away leaning against the railing of the porch talking with Birdie. His gaze kept wandering back to her. How nice it must be to be so clearly wanted and desired. Sometimes I envied her. From inside the Cabin Tuck emerged with two bags of marshmallows and a big pack of crackers. “No chocolate?” I pouted. John Logan yelled. “Yes, chocolate!" holding up five chocolate bars following behind Tucker. Happily squealing, I threw my arms around Hannah, getting her hyped up with me. We jumped up and down giggling like mad women. Garrett smiled lovingly at Wellsy. He was down bad. “What is it with women and chocolate ?” Dean questioned from the campfire. “You can't make decent smores without chocolate!” I argued loudly, looking at him like he was the dumbest person on this earth. “She has a point.” Logan agreed with me, sitting down by the fire. Dean scoffed, taking a swig of his beer. Hooking her elbows with Hannah's and mine, Allie dragged us to the fire. Still laughing and giddy, I misstepped. Suddenly swaying sideways pulling the others with me, Allie instinctively let go of me. “Whoa!” I flailed with my arms. Allie twisted around eyes wide“Y/N!” Nearly colliding with Garrett, his hand shot out, getting a hold of my upper arm, effectively saving me from falling down the stairs. “Easy, I got ya.” I burst out laughing, briefly leaning my forehead against his chest. “Phuu, thanks G that was a close one.” My speech was slightly slurred. He moved his hand from my arm to settle between my shoulder blades, deliberately going down the stairs with me.

Standing with me in front of the Campfire he turned to the guys. “Who got Ducky blasted?” Tuck and Logan held up their hands in innocence. At the same time Beau and Dean pointer at each other. Garrett was unimpressed with them whilst I elbowed him in the ribs. “M not drunk.” “Oh baby you definitely are.” Dex called over. Garrett stirred me to a free seat next to Tuck. “Site.” Pouting, crossing my arms I didn't move. “Don’t you want smores?” He raised a brow, successfully baited me into the seat. Sitting like a good girl, I waited for him to hand me a stick with a marshmallow already skewered on. “Thank you.” I sing sanged, stretching my arms to the fire. He ruffled my hair and went to take a seat beside Wellsy. Music playing softly in the background we sat around the flames, telling stories, laughing, enjoying each other's company. I was so engrossed in Tucker's story that I totally forgot about my smore. It was Logan who pulled my arm back but it was already too late. Instead of a golden caramel brown the Marshmallow was black. “My mellow.” My brows pulled together, mouth turned downwards. “Looks just like a puck.” Dean snorted from the other side of the fire. A warm hand sympathetically laid on my shoulder. Logan had moved beside me “Don’t be sad we have more than enough Marshmellows.” He was plucking another white, puff ball from the bag and pushed it on a stick. Moving to grab it he held it slightly out of reach. “Why don't you let me do it for ya.” He gave me a boyish smile, knocking his shoulder gently into mine. “I won't burn it again.” Insisting I shifted closer to him, hands reached to grab the stick. His free hand sneaked around my waist pulling me into his side, effectively imprisoning me. “Hey! Let go.” I started to complain, wiggling against him. His grip tightened “Be a good girl and stay still.” A shiver ran down my back. Good girl? Staying still, I watched his side profile. The light from the fire painted him in a warm glow. Looking absolutely devastatingly handsome. What seemed like an eternity later he let go and held a perfect smore out to me. “Wow. So pretty.” I gushed and had took it from his hand with awe. He laughed under his breath, smiling at me “Yeah.” Taking a big bite I nearly moaned at how good it tasted. “That's the best smore i ever had. You are amazing.” I complimented him. Shoving the rest of the smore into my mouth I chewed happily. Logan smirked, shrugging nonchalantly “What can I say. I am a man of many talents.” “Oh shut up you cocky bastard.” Dean chucked a marshmallow at John Logan. John effortlessly caught it with his mouth. Chewing with a smug grin he flipped Dean off. Everybody erupted into loud laughter. Tugging at his jacket sleeve I gained his attention. “Another one please?” “Thoud you could do it yourself ?” He teased. Looking at my feet I acknowledge his expert skills in making smores. So he made me another two smores. 

-----------------------

“Good night.” I waved at Hannah and Gerratt, who retired for the night. Leaving Logan, Tuck and I as the last ones standing. The once big flames now slowly fizzled out. Shivering, I hugged myself trying to preserve some warmth. Without a word Logan shrugged off his jacket and laid it over my shoulders. Suddenly very shy, I mumbled a quiet “Thanks” “No problem.” I snuggled deeper in his jacket, so that half my face was hidden behind the collar. Inhaling my nostrils were filled with his scent. I couldn't even name it, it was just John. Comforting. Irresistible. Him. Having totally zoomed out I was surprised when I saw Tucker get up. “Night you two.” You two. Just Logan and I. “Don’t let the bed bugs bite ya.” Logan nodded to him. Silence. Sitting side by side facing the dying flames in comfortable silence. Sneaking a glance at him I caught my lower lip between my teeth. His hand raked through his brown hair. Titling his head to the side he caught me. “You like what you see?” He was clearly teasing me but I couldn't stop the blushing. I turned my face away. “Maybe.“ Cheeky grin on his face he grabbed my chin and tilted my head up forcing me to meet his eyes.

“Are you blushing?”

“No.”

“You are a terrible liar.”

Still keeping eye contact I licked my lips, his gaze flickered down to my lips. Oh, please kiss me. Clearing his throat he looked away.  “You tired?” Exhausted. ”No.”  “You’would be terrible at poker.” He stood up and splashed water on the ambers, prompting a cloud of smoke to rise. “Come on, sleepyhead." Holding out his hand to me. Laying my hand in his much bigger one, he pulled me up.

Climbing the stairs he was right behind me. “Are you following me?” I turned my head to face him. “My room is also up there.” He clarified amused, waiting for me to continue walking. Thinking about it for a second I nodded and started walking again. Stopping three steps later I turned again. “Where is my room?” Drawing my brows in confusion. The corner of John's mouth twitched upwards. “You don't remember where your room is?” “I am just-” Rethinking about what i wanted to say i halted. “You just what?” He was grinning again, teasing glint in his eyes. “Forget it!” I spun around stomping up the rest of the stairs. Easily keeping up with me he followed. Aiming for the first door on the left he grasped my hand. “Nop, that's Birdie's room.” He smoothly stirred me to the end of the hall. “There.”  He pointed to the door on the right. “That one is yours.” Turning the knob I peeked inside the dark room, the only light coming from the moon shining through the window. “Are you sure?” I looked back at him. “Positiv.” “Huh.” I wrinkled my nose, nodding unsure. Drawing a sigh, his hand placed itself on my lower back, guiding me inside. I love his hands on me. He could touch me the whole time. Halting in front of the bed he gently turned me and pushed me to sit. “There. This is your bed. Sweet dreams.” Don't go yet.  Standing back up I stopped him “Do you want to stay?” I don't even know where that came from but it was out of my mouth before I could stop myself. “I think you should sleep.” Ouch. Ignoring the slight sting of his rejection I let the alcohol do the talking.

“And I think you should stay.” He met my intense gaze. “Sweetheart, go to bed.” I stepped closer, chest nearly touching his. “Go with me.” I had never been this bold in my life. John was seemingly as surprised as I. Holding my breath I waited for his reaction. Lifting his hand he tenderly brushed a strand of hair from my face.

“You’re drunk Y/N”

“I am tipsy.”

“You couldn't find your room.”

“I could find you anywhere.”

He sucked in a breath, gaze intensifying. My brain was blocking any logic, any doubt or fear. There was just instinct, desire, basic need. Standing up on my tip toes I grabbed his neck. Fingers burying in the hair at his nap and tugged him down to meet my lips.

To be continued.....

Pairing: John Logan x reader

Summary: Secretly learning to ice skate, partying with my friends, and having a huge crush on John—it was just bound to go wrong.

Parts: one,two,three, four, five, six, seven

Feeling my head flop down I jerked up. Eyes widening, looking like a deer caught in headlights. Trying to regain my bearings, I took a deep breath. I was still in class and a few fellow students snickered, glancing my way. Pursing my lips I blew out some air and settled back into my seat, mindfull of my Hip. Heartbeat slowed down when his bemused whisper reached my ear “You totally drooled on my shoulder." And my heart gave up beating entirely. Color drained from my face. Dear Lord. I turned to Logan, utterly and completely mortified. Upon seeing my expression, he pressed his lips together trying and miserably failing to hide his grin. He lightly bumped my shoulder with his “I'm just kidding, but you do have quite the grip. Thought you were going to cut off the blood flow.” He was flexing his bicep, muscles bulging under his crumpled sleeve. Gulping, mouth suddenly very dry. Catching his smirk I felt my face heat up. Show-off. Tearing my attention away from his tanned skin I faltered “Wait a second-” Voice raising a tad too much. The Girl in front of me turned to glare at me. Grimacing, I voiced a silent sorry cowering back in my seat. Logen tried to hide his chuckle with a cough. 

Observing his handsome face, my brain went back to what he had just said. He isn't insinuating what I think he is, is he? I softly inquired “I fell asleep…on.. your arm?” “Hung on me like a koala” Even though the amusement was clear in his voice as he confirmed it I still felt like dying of embarrassment. This has to be a joke. “Please tell me you're still teasing.” "Sorry, no can do." He shrugged his shoulders, the corner of his mouth twitching up. I buried my face in my hands blocking out the lecture entirely. Whole face hot like hell, I was pretty sure that my cheeks had turned beet red. "I am never gonna live that down.” Words muffled by my hands he still seemed to understand me. John rather tenderly pried my hands from my face. Twisting my head I tried to avoid his gaze, when his fingertips grazed my chin making me still instantly. Attention now solely on him, he gave me a crooked smile. "Don't worry I don't think anyone noticed.” I couldn't have cared less about the other students or the professor at that moment. Even if someone had seen it, they would forget about it in no time, but he? Gazing into his warm eyes my stomach plummeted. “Thats not the issue.” I mumble closing my eyes to help me sort out my thoughts and not spiral into panic. I cuddled him in my sleep. Wrapping around him like a Koala. In the middle of fucking class. I totally overstaped boundaries. No, not over stepping, more like running through them. I could hear the blood rushing through my ears. Do.Not.Panic! Giving him a glance I registered how his eyebrows scrunched together in mild concern. Dragging my teeth over my lower lip, biting down gently. I looked away. We hugged before. Briefly. Consensual. There was pressure building behind my eyes. Deep breaths. He seems okay with it. Or maybe he is just pretending? Doesn't want to cause a scene. Squeezing my eyes shut I aimed to push the anxiety down. Am I causing a scene?! All my hopes and dreams of ever actually being with John faded away. He must think I am mad. Totally nuts. I shoved the dread as deep as I could, back into the depths of my conscious. Keep it together Y/N. You had no control. It was just a harmless touch. My feelings were all over the place these last days. It was like my nerves were short of burning through. From the corner of my eye I subconsciously noticed people starting to gather their things. Low murmurs rising to a constant hum of Conversation around me. 

Logan said something to me. I didn't fully acknowledge him, just hummed absentmindedly. It felt like my head was under water. Repeating himself his voice finally reached my consciousness. “Hey, what's the issue?” Rubbing over my face still deep in thought I grumbled “You.” Logan's movements beside me ceased. “What?“ Usual swagger wavering, he sounded confused. Frustration flaring up I gritted my teeth and snapped “You! You are my damn problem!” A few heads turned at my harsh tone. As soon as my words caught up with my brain I froze. Blazing eyes dimming down immediately. Fire extinguished into nothing. I didn't just say that to him. Based on the somber look on his face, I did. God help me. Something like hurt flashed over his face before he pointedly looked away grabbing his belongings. I opened my mouth thinking about a good way to apologize but my brain was not coming up with anything remotely helpful. So I gaped at him like a fish out of water. Eyes slowly glazing over. Stupid.Stupid.Stupid! John licked over his lips glancing over to me, opening his mouth about to say something when he seemingly changed his mind and grabbed his bag instead.

Before he could stand up and leave I grabbed his arm. “Wait!” He eyed me expectantly. “I am sorry.” Looking away I continued. “ My brain's not working right at the moment. I didn't even know what I was saying while speaking.I didn't…You see…What I meant was that…I ….and then You… it's a misunderstanding" Trailing off I watched him. Silence. Defeated, I let go of his arm. “Y/N, I don't know what's going on...” His deep voice was nothing more than a soft murmur. “ But you've been off the whole week. We are worried about you.” Peeking up my insides churned as I saw the softness in his warm eyes. The storm inside my head started calming down. "I'm fine- Just a bit behind on sleep.” I answered solemnly. My lip twitched slightly in a failed attempt to smile. Logan huffed and raked his fingers through his dark hair. “Look, I...-We, can't help if you don't let us.” He looked nearly as miserable as I felt at that moment. Standing up I clutched my notebook against my chest like a shield. "Everything is fine.” I said it with as much pep as I could muster. John gave me a glum nod, jaw flexing. Giving him a tiny wave I turned and fled the scene.

Biting the inside of my cheek I tried to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. This semester was horrible. It was all a bit much. Too many emotions. Too many assignments to do. Too many questions from my friends. Too many hours staggering over that damned ice. But times like these were going to pass. I just had to hang in there a little longer, push myself a little harder. I don't need help. Taking deep breaths. Everything is fine…I can endure it a little longer.

----------------------------------------------

I washed the painkillers down with a big gulp of water and crawled under my blanket. Escaping reality for just a moment and regaining some energy. I skipped my elective class and instead slept for two hours. It was refreshing, not as glorious as I had hoped but I felt less dead. Another round of painkillers made me finally relax enough to quickly jot down the last few paragraphs of the paper that was due today. I was already dashing out the door again when my phone rang. Not bothering to look, I declined the call. Pulling my jacket tighter around I crossed the campus in record time. Due to the pills, I didn't feel even the slightest twinge in my hip. Texting an acquaintance asking for her notes from the first class whilst skipping down the stairs I was back on track. Hauling the door open I quickly slipped inside taking a seat in the last row. Opening my laptop I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. Another call. I pulled it out and declined again. Skimming over the first few slides that the professor had shared with us for this class my phone buzzed signaling a text message. Not taking my eyes off the laptop screen I shoved it into my bag. 20 minutes into the lecture I heard another faint buzzing. Why can't you all just leave me alone! Fishing my phone out I quickly scanned over the display. A missed call from my mother and one from Beau, plus 2 messages from him. Buzz. Buzz. Aaand another two messages. He was persistent. I had to give him that. I really had to focus on the lecture when I didn't want to fall behind so I quickly texted back without reading his texts “No time. Will speak to you later.” With that i turned my phone on mute.

Completely forgotten about Beau i was strolling over campus Headphones blaring Billy Idol’s Rebel Yell. Cutting a corner I crashed into a human wall. Stumbling back, feet tangling together, I felt myself typing back when two hands grabbed my arms and yanked me in the other direction. Tumbling into a warm embrace, I felt my headphones slipping. I reached to grab them before they could fall but I was too slow. "Fantastic." Sarcasm dripping from my words. “Whoa, you alright Ducky ?” Garrett. Bending down to pick them up my hip felt stiff. Moving slow and wooden, I straightened. Eyeing me with uncertainty Garrett still had one hand out ready to catch me. “Fine.” “Your movements seem very tense, are you sure you're okay?” Nodding, I gave him a thumbs up. "Positiv. But I have to admit I don't envy the guys that try to bodycheck you.” He laughed, shoulders shaking. “That a compliment?” “It's whatever you want it to be G.” Garrett hummed "Definitely a compliment then.” Mouth curving into a cocky grin. Rolling my eyes I sneaked a glance past him. “As delightful as your company is, I have to go.”  I was already beginning to shuffle past him. “See you tonight then?” Head tilting slightly back to him "What's tonight?" Raising a brow he said “Karaoky” as if it was the only logical answer. That's probably a horrible idea. “Okay.” Biting my tongue. Why did you say okay? Phuu. Problem for later. Stomach growling I screaming “By” over my shoulder leaving him standing. 

My stomach was rumbling uncomfortably when I stood in line at a food truck off campus. I was in need of something to eat, already starting to feel nauseous. Waiting my turn my phone started to ring. Sliding my bag off my shoulder I dug my hand inside. People started to look annoyed as I rummaged through my bag unable to find it. Once I sensed the smooth surface of it I quickly yanked it out, nearly throwing it on the asphalt. “Hello?” “Finaly, i was so close to file a missing person report.”  “Dont you think you are a tad dramatic Beau?” Completely passing over what I said he asked where I was. Moving in line I swiftly agreed to meet him and I ended the call. After ordering and receiving my food I ventured to a sitting area not far. I had wolfed down half my meal when Beau came into sight. He sat across from me, his usually gentle features betraying a look of concern. “Whats going on with you?” “Hello to you too.” I laid the iron on thick. “Ducky.” I rarely heard his voice sound so stern. I mushed my pasta around not bothering to look up. “Nothing.” I can feel his stare on me. “You're moody, walk like an 80 year old and there is literally no energy left in you.” I grind my teeth together and lift my gaze to see his worried eyes. “I am fine.”  No lingering emotion in my voice. Beau frowns. “You can tell me, you know.” I nod. “We have been friends for forever, I won't judge you.” "I know.”

“Did Logan do something?”

To be continued.....

Pairing: John Logan x reader Summary: Secretly learning to ice skate, partying with my friends, and having a huge crush on John—it was just bound to go wrong.

Parts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven

Dean grabbed Logan's outstretched hand and sealed the deal with a firm handshake. “You two are going down.” He and Beau sauntered over to the table as if they had already won. Feeling my eyes on him, John looked at me and snorted when he saw my bewilderment. Shaking his head laughing he nods toward the table before giving me an encouraging push. Gesturing wildly with my hands whilst walking I rambled "I asked you to help me and you, you, you traitor, you sell me out like that!”. His warm hand pressed against the small of my back as he leaned down. Chest touching my back. Goosebumps erupted all over my body as I felt his lips ghost near the sheel of my ear. “Come one, we are a good team. Let's take them down a notch.” I gulped, taking a shivering breath . Luckily for me he had already moved away and didn't notice the effect he had on me. This man will be the death of me. “Come one Ducky, quit daydreaming.” Beau called out, ball already in hand. Okay, here goes nothing. Bending over I pulled my hair up in a high ponytail and rolled my shoulders back. Feeling my tens muscles I instantly regreted it. “Oh no, Beau. She's locking in.” Dean taunts with a big smirk. I flipped him off. Blowing me a quick kiss, his eyes re-focused on the cups in front of me. With a smooth flick of his wrist, the first ball landed in our cup. Well Shit. “Beginner's luck.” Logan handed me the cup “Ladys first.” Fingers brushing mine fleetingly. Taking a big gulp I watched as Beau also hit his target. Closing my eyes momentarily I shook my head. This will be fine... - it was not fine.

I was still drinking the latest cup when Dean made the final shot. Clear hit. The crowd roared as he and Beau jumped up hugging each other in celebration. Jugging the reminder of the beer I wiped my mouth angrily. The game was a total disaster, I hit one lousy cup. The only good thing about this whole ordeal were the accidental touches. Every time his hand would brush my arm I swooned a bit more. Looking at him from the corner of my eyes he finished the Cup in one go. He seemed oddly happy for losing. Beau snapped me out of my thoughts, hugging my side. “Sorry Ducky.” Liar. Dean held his hand out to Logan. “Pay up Loser.” Shit eating grin plastered on his face. Logan reluctantly pulled out a ten dollar bill. Dean pocketed the money turning to me. “Honestly, did you even try?” Taking one step forward I was ready to wipe the smirk from his face but Beau's arm shot forward to hold me in place. “Easy there Tiger.” ”Yeah, cant have you murder him mid season.” Logan's eyes twinkled with amusement. Blush blossoming on my cheeks I yanked myself free, grumbling. “Youre really pushing me today Di Laurentis.” The blond’s arrogant grin softened. “Aww come one, don't be a sore loser.” He opened his arms to invite me into a hug. Not moving an inch, he made a grabbing motion with his hands tilting his head innocently to the side. Grudgingly I stepped into his arms and let him tug me against his hard chest. My arms stayed firmly at my side as Dean hugged my tightly. I am definitely not hugging back. He gave me a loud smooch on my hair and held me at arms length looking down at me. “All better now Ducky?” "I am not a child assshole.” Despite still being annoyed, I couldn't hold back the half-smile that slowly creeped on my lips as he looked at me with puppy dog eyes. “Ah there she is.” He beamed and squeezed my shoulder. Rolling my eyes I shove his hands away. “Get lost while I'm in a good mood.” He turned to Beau with feigned urgency “You heard the Lady.” Beau saluted me before venturing into the party with his other half.

Watching after them I opened my ponytail and let my hair fall free. "There are days I want to drown those two morons.” John stood beside me grinning. "Understandable." I reached into my back pocket and pulled out a five dollar bill. “Here.” His grin vanished. “No.” I held it out for him to take. His hands shot up defensively in front of him. “I owe you, I totally blew it.” He scrunched his brows together “You didn't even bet.” I shrugged my shoulders “But I am responsible for you losing.” “We are a team, we lost together.” “If that's so then we pay the price together.” I boldly pushed the bill against his chest. His hand wrapped around my wrist. “You don't owe me anything Y/N. Seriously, it's fine.” His gaze met mine with such intensity that it took my breath away. Hand still against his chest, wrist in his gentle but firm hold. Any coherent thought swiftly left me, too focused on the warmth that radiated off him. Still holding his gaze I mouthed okay. John deliberately let go of me and took a slow step back looking away. He cleared his throat and nonchalantly nodded towards the kitchen “Care for another drink?” Shaking my head I couldn't believe myself. “No, thank you. I should head home.” A soft smile on my lips. Please look at me one more time. The corners of his mouth turned down ever so slightly, eyes everywhere but on me. ”Next time then.” Is he disappointed? “Get home safe.” “I will.” I promised and tried to catch his eyes one more time but to no avail. Logan turned around walking in the direction of the kitchen when some girl intercepted him. She directly grabbed his arm, leaning against him, gaining his attention. I didn't hear what she said whilst blinking up at him through her long lashes but I heard his warm laughter. I didn't need to see his face to know how his eyes sparkled whilst flirting. I saw it plenty of times before. Something in me shifted when they vanished together, her hand secured around his bicep. A bitter smile graced my lips as I grabbed my jacket exiting the house.

On my way home I read a message from my mom. “Hey honey, how are you holding up?” My steps faltered. Fingers hovering over the keys, jaw clenching. Tipping swiftly “Just fine. Don't worry. Love you.”I hit send. Bending my head back I stared at the night sky, reigning my feelings back in. Instead of going to bed as planned I grabbed my skates and went to the ice rink. I fell into a rhythm. Stumbling, falling, standing up again. Fighting against the raging feelings inside. Every time I let my thoughts stray too far I saw his face. Heard his voice. Attempting to banish him from my thoughts I went faster.  I was still struggling to keep my balance. “Arg, its not that fucking hard.” I cursed outloud. Squeezing my eyes shut for a moment, flashes of some girl in John's arms flicker before my mind's eye. My heart started racing. The puck bunnies didn't hesitate, they didn't second guess. They took what they wanted. Thoughts sprawling in one another. They didn't need help, they were confident, strong. Losing my footing I stumbled. Arms flailing,desperately trying to regain my balance. I fell sideways, hitting the ground hard. “Motherfu-!” Clenching my hand I bit into my fist stifling a whimper whilst touching my hip. That's going to bruise. Sitting on the cold ground I whipped a stray tear away. I am fine. Glaring at the ice like it had personally betrayed me I grunted and heaved myself up. Once upright I loosened my hip with a Pop. Ignoring the throbbing, I started to move again. I am going to learn this shit one way or another. Mama raised no quitter. After a few more rounds with minimal damage I finally started to regain some peace of mind. Focused on my breathing, one foot after the other.

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The ear-splitting sound of the horn ended the game. The stands were screaming and cheering for the Briar Hawks. Another win for our boys. Hannah, Allie and I made our way to the tunnels to greet them. Standing with my back to the tunnel I talked to the girls. Patiently waiting. Hannah's barely concealed grin told me he was behind me before I even felt him. Firm hands snuck around my waist and pulled me back. My whole face lit up as he placed a sweet kiss on my shoulder. “Hey babe.” I turned in his arms. Sweaty curls clung to his forehead as he smiled down at me. How could someone be sooo handsome, literally dripping with sweat? “Hey Johnny.” Stretching my arms to lay them around his neck he was leaning down a bit to help me. Pressing a chasted kiss on top of my nose, I giggled. “You were amazing today.” He playfully raised a brow “Just today?” Rolling my eyes I pulled him even closer. “You are always amazing.” His brown eyes darkened. “Is that so?” devilish Smirk growing on his lips. “Yea.” I nodded transfixed as his tongue darted out to wet his lips. Biting my lower lip I tugged at the hair at his nap. Pulling him closer.One of his hands moved from my waist to take a hold of my chin. Tilting my face up. Lips nearly touching, our breaths mingled as his eyes held me captive. Not being able to hold back any longer he - My eyes snapped open. Noooo. Shutting off my alarm, I let my head fall back in frustration. Just one more second and He would have - arg. Pulling my pillow over my face I silently screamed. Chucking the pillow away i starred at the ceiling. It was no use. I sighed sadly before starting the day. Splashing water on my face I still fantasized about the feeling of his fingers under my chin. Biting my lower lip I suppressed a smile. Get a grip girl, it was just a dream! Taking a peek at myself in the mirror I cringed when I spotted the dark bags under my eyes. Damn Dean, Beau and their stupid party. I looked utterly exhausted. There weren't many options for damage control at this point but owning it. Braiding my hair back, brushing my teeth and applying some lip balm was as good as it would get. 

I grabed a granola bar and pain killers on my way out. Reading the text from my mom whilst walking. "We can talk about it if you want. I Love you too. Wish you a great day sweetheard!" I shoved my phone in my pocket. Staring straight ahaed, ignoring the pounding of my heart.

Chewing on the last bit from my granola bar I trudged into the lecture hall. I wasn't even sure if it was in the right room. I gained a headache on the way here and felt tired enough to just fall asleep while standing. Letting my gaze wander, I saw that a lot of places were already taken as the class was about to start. Squinting I spotted a hand waving me over. John. Right, this was one of the few classes I had with him. I was usually really excited and extra good prepared for this class but that morning I was happy if I even got to my place without falling over my own feet. Luckily for me Logan had saved me a seat right beside him. He gave me one of his heart melting smiles when I reached him. God I love his smile. “Thanks.” I mumble lowering myself into the seat. Sitting down I flinched at the sudden pressure on my hip. Ofcourse he had to notice it immediately. His smile transformed into a concerned frown. “Are you hurt?” Schooling my features to stay neutral I shake my head. “Nah, it's fine.” “That didn't look fine.” Lowering my voice so as to not disturb the starting lecture I whispered. “Just bumped my hip this morning, nothing to worry about.” to help sell it I carelessly shrugged my shoulders. John keeped his gaze on my face, searching for a tell if I was lying to him. When I couldn't hold his stare any longer I looked away. Opening my notebook I focused on the professor, trying to withstand John's stare. Writing down today's topic in bold letters “Managing complexity without panicking”. Raising a brow, I re-read it. Was this some kind of sign from the universe? 

After just ten minutes of not entirely listening my eyelids began to flutter shut. Blinking heavily I tried to sit straighter, moving my hip uncomfortably in the process. At least the sting woke me up properly. Even without seeing him I felt him watching my movement like a hawk. Promptly spotting my wince. He leaned over, eyes up front. “What exactly did you hit your hip on? Granite?” Chewing on my lower lip I gave him a side-eye. “Something like that.” Singular brow raised, he just shook his head and let it be for the moment. Which meant back to not comprehending a single sentence of this fucking class for me. A few mindlessly scribbled notes later my eyelids fluttered again. Pinching myself I fought to stay away. Again and again momentarily nodding off till my brain decided to give in and keep my eyes closed for just a second.

To be continued....

Pairing: John Logan x reader

Summary: Secretly learning to ice skate, partying with my friends, and having a huge crush on John—it was just bound to go wrong.

Warning: This story involves anxiety, panic, and heartbreak

Parts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven

It was after midnight when I left the skating rink. With a light limp in my step I scurried home to at least catch a few hours of sleep before class. After a quick shower I fell into bed and dozed of immediately. 

-----------------------------------------------

The next morning was rather painful. Everything was hurting. Who would have thought that learning to ice skate would be this tortures? Hannah gave me a weird look when I sat down beside her. “Are you alright?” I nodded tiredly. “Yeah, everything is fine.” She didn't look convinced. “You winced at every step you took.” I raised a brow “Since when are you monitoring my walk?” “It was hard not to see.” I shook my head smiling. “Well thank you for your concern but as i said i am fine.” She opened her mouth to argue but I cut her off switching the topic. “Where is Garrett this fine morning?” As if summoned, a tall figure appeared behind me. “Miss me already Ducky ?” He sounded bemused. Turning around i poked my finger in his stomach sending him a glare. “Carfull, G.” Garret smiled and held his hands up in mock surrender. I narrowed my eyes playfully and made room for him. He went past me and sat on Hannah's other side. “Hey Wellsie.” He gave her his most charming smile and a quick kiss before the lecture started. 

It felt like a losing battle to keep my eyes open, if it wasn't for Hannah repeatedly tapping against my shoulder I would have probably fallen asleep in my seat. The end of class couldn't have come any slower. The two held hands as we left the building. “You want to grab lunch with us?” Hannah asked. I shook my head. “Thanks but I'm gonna take a nap before my next class. See ya.” I gave them a quick salute, turned and tried to find the perfect spot for a quick power nap. I luckily found a secluded area in the library. Carefully settling my head on my arms ontop of the table I didn't even need to get comfortable before dozing off. 

Literally jumping in the air when two hands firmly seize my shoulders was the worst way to wake up. Looking around wide eyed I saw Beau and Dean double over with laughter. Taking a deep breath to calm my racing heart, I send them a murderer's glare. Dean was fully smiling, putting his dimples on display. “This is a place to learn, young lady.” He tried to sound stern but was failing miserably. Beau stood beside him shaking his head disapprovingly. "I am pretty sure you had more quickies in here than this place has books.” I deadpaned. Beau breaks into laughter whilst Dean gasps dramatically, clutching his heart. “Those were for purely scientific reasons. They learned a lot.” I didn't even try to hide my scowl. “You are terrible.” I took my backpack and stood up. “I think the ladies used the word phenomenal.” Biting back my smile I just nodded, patting him on the shoulder I said “Sure, big guy. Sure.” And stepped around him. “Hey, you coming to the party tonight?” I stopped and turned my head slightly. “Nah, I am gonna stay in tonight.” Dean looked at Beau “Did you hear that? She wants to stay in.” “Outrages” Beau commented. “Maybe she hit her head?.” Beau nodded “The only explanation." I closed my eyes in annoyance. “You two share one braincell.” They synchronically turned to face me. "You're coming to the Party, Ducky. No excuses.” Beau pointed at me. “If not, I will personally drag you there.” Dean added and crossed his arms in front of his chest for good measure. Rolling my eyes I turned back around and left them standing. “We will see you at eight!” Dean yelled after me.

When I finally finished with my last class for the day I had already forgotten about the party. I had just changed into my pajamas when there was loud knocking at my door. Opening it reluctantly I was met with Beau's wide smile. “You ready to go?” He scrunched his brows when he saw my attire. “Bold choice, but you can make it work Ducky." I tried to close the door in his face but he put his foot in between. “Nah ah. Forget it, you have to come.” I let my head fall back groaning displeased. He pushed inside and closed the door behind him. He shoved me into my room. “Come one, get ready.” I pouted. “I want to sleep.” “You are my best friend, you have to come!” “Dean's your best friend.” “You're my best girl friend.” He smiled hopefully at me.”Besides, you can still sleep later.” I stared at him. “One hour.” “Two.” "I am not bargaining with you.” “Three.” I throw my hands in the air. "Unbelievable." Turning to my closet I skim through my clothes. A simple black shirt and jeans had to do. Looking at Beau I pointed to the door. “Out.” He waited paitetly for me to dress and brush my hair. He even held out my jacket when I emerged. I wordlessly took it and left my dorm, Beau happily trailing after me.

The house was already packed when we arrived. I hung my jacket on a rack lost Beau in seconds and made my way into the kitchen. Seeing me Dean immediately pushed a red cup directly into my hand. “You are late.” I took the cup. “If it was up to me I wouldn't be here at all.” He swung his arm around my shoulder squeezing lightly. “Tonight you can broaden your horizons.” Twisting in his embrace I stared up at him. He meaningfully gazed into the distance. “You will thank me later.” I blinked several times trying to comprehend this bullshit. “You are an absolute idiot.” Dean's smile stretched over his whole face as he squished my face between his hands “I love you too Ducky!” Face still between his hands I mumbled "Don't call me that!” and tried to get out of his grip. Looking past me and spotting a pretty girl his hands fell from my face and he vanished into the crowd. Shaking my head in utter disbelief that I'm friends with that big oaf. I took a big sip from my cup and leaned against the kitchen island. “Hey, Ducky, what's up?” Tuck walked past me with a tray of snacks. Rolling my eyes at the ridiculous nickname, I grabed a grape from the tray. Popping it into my mouth I shrug my shoulders. “Not much, bit tired. You?” He looked up from rearranging the snacks. “I am good, just need more chips” I smiled at his cheerful face, Tuck was just the sweetest. Trying to sound nonchalant i asked in a bored tone "Where's the rest of you?” He searched for a new pack of chips talking over his shoulder. “Well Dean is making out on the stairs, Garret is upstairs with Hannah and Logan is-” “Riiiight here.” A mop of brown hair appeared in my peripheral view. My heartbeat instantly sped up. He held a bottle in his hand and went to Tuck. Without looking he grabbed the Bag Tuck was searching for. Tuck tanked him and left us standing. “Hey.”John leaned with his Hip against the kitchen counter behind the Kitchen island. I smiled “Hi.” For a moment we just looked at each other in silence. “DUCKY!” I winced, closing my eyes. John chuckled, lowering his head momentarily. “DUCKY WERE ARE YOU?!” I signed and looked at him. “You think they will stop if I ignore them long enough?” His brown eyes met mine, he licked his lips and tilted his head to the side. “No change.” I laugh a little. “Yeah, thought so.” “DUCKY!” I ducked when I spotted Beau. Suddenly jeans clad legs appeared in front of my face. “You didn't really think you could hide, did you?” Dean held his hand out to pull me up. I ignored it. “What do you want ?” He gripped my hand and pulled me up. “We are going to play Beer pong.” “Hey there you are.” Beau slung his arm over my shoulder from behind. “I am here at your stupid party, you can't also make me play beer pong.” Dean raised a brow as if to challenge me. “Your attitude today is really lacking, sweetheart.” I leaned my head back against Beau's shoulder. “Cant you two have fun without me?” Beau spun me around, making my head spin. “Are you insane, you are the fun.” He took a look at my unimpressed face and shrugged “Well, normally you are.” I punched his shoulder and took a step back. “I am terrible as it is at beer pong, tonight will be even worse.” “There is that attitude again.” Dean scolded playfully. I turned to catch Logan's gaze. He watched the whole exchange with a big grin. “Help me, will ya?” He pushed himself off the counter and came over. I was lost for a second when his hand found my waist and pulled me into his side. “I bet 10 bucks that we beat your sorry asses.” As my brain rebouted  I registered what he just said. My head sharply lifted to look up at his face

To be continued....