nevermind.

I long for connection

For interaction

Even for a simple presence

Lonely as in while I'm in a room

That's full of other people

I still feel detached

I still don't feel a connection

Lonely as in I am ready

It's woven & intricately knotted into everything

It hides in the dark

And in every corner there's a shadow

It is comfortable

Dwelling within you

Waiting inside the parts of you

You buried alive so many times

I just feel like every positive feeling

I’ve ever had

Was literally grasped by something

And then violently ripped out of my body

My pain has been manifesting

As a physical ache

But not like one wounds aftermath

It’s a break or injury

That it started tearing

But it never stopped

Like a stab that is still making its way through my body

Or burn that is still in the fire continuously burning through me