A Knife in the Dark

Call me Sayl. I write, draw, and blabber about BG3 primarily. I create and share mature and sensitive content. I'm mid-30s and accept any pronouns. (MDNI; anti-genAI; anti-fandom police). Mutuals are more than welcome to tag me in stuff. This is a sideblog, so follows come from @saylonmain.

To see my creations, use the links below!

🎨 My Artwork (I do not do commissions)

📷 My Virtual Photography

🎞️ BG3 Playthrough Videos (Tavrin run with EA scenes restored)

If you want to be tagged in fic updates 📃, see [This Post].

All of my fanfictions are 18+, and all feature my custom Resist!Durge, Tavrin.

"Don't Let Me Kill You (Definitive Edition)" - Gale x Durge - Novelization of BG3, but with new twists on canon events and entirely new events as well for maximum freshness. tag: DLMKY

"Anamnesis Red" - Gale x Durge; (Durgetash flashbacks) - Sequel fic to DLMKY, doesn't require you to read part 1. After settling into life in Waterdeep, Gortash returns as the BBEG, and Tavrin slips toward relapse. tags: Anamnesis Red ; Anamnesis Red VP

"Override & Underground" - Durgetash (active); Gale x Durge (exes to endgame) - Modern AU where tech wiz Gale has to team up with his ex Tavrin to help her take down Gortash's rival cartel. Not a mafia AU, more like Fast & Furious vibes. tag: Override & Underground

tag: one-shot fics

"The Sanctity of Lanceboard" - Gale x Durge - Smutty one-shot fic, post-canon

"47 Notes" - Gale x Durge - Gale dies. Focuses on love, grief/melancholy, & healing; ends on a hopeful note

"Thread the Needle" - Gale x Durge - Smutty one-shot, post-canon (gift fic)

"Tenebrose" - Gale x Durge - Horror AU one-shot based on the yokai, Hone Onna. (mind the tags!)

Major Character-Building Tags:

[CC Info] | [Backstory] | [Abilities] | [Physical Traits] | [Personality Traits] | [Misc]

Tavrin's Relationships with Other Characters: (WIP)

[Gale] | [Gortash] | [Minthara] | [Orin] | [Lae'zel] | [Astarion] | [Wyll] | [Shadowheart] | [Karlach] | [Halsin] | [Jaheira] | [Minsc] | [Ketheric] | [Araj] | [Mayrina] | [Mystra] | [other]

Other Tags:

Imagery - screenshots and art of Tavrin

Key Character Info - Primary character-building headcanons for Tavrin

Headcanons - general headcanons regarding Tavrin

Aesthetic - general other tag for Tavrin

Playlist - songs for Tavrin, Tavrin/Gale, and Tavrin/Gortash

Tavrin x Gale - ship tag

Tavrin x Gortash - ship tag

tag game: Create a VP of your Tav as the main character or your fave character from your favourite TV SERIES — within the limits of photo mode, of course. Make a whole entourage of the cast if you like. Tag game created by @bhaal-battle-beer-bard, ty friend! Original linked [here]!

I was tagged by so many people and I loved ALL the ones I saw omg. Tysm to @purpleasters-inseptember @fireflyeyes @carnivaley @faeriiefire and @arlynx!!

I'm still hung up on an almost 20-year-old show lol It's campy, it's very different from the books, but it's boundlessly entertaining. And usually what gets people excited about it is when they find out it's a Sam Raimi show xD

it's Legend of the Seeker!! (Season 2 specifically because that is when my babe Cara joins the cast)

And Tavrin is so accidentally Cara-coded it fucking hurts.

I've been obsessed with Cara since I first saw the show. She's my favorite female character of all time in anything. It wasn't until like months and months after writing Tavrin that I discovered they have SO MANY personality similarities. Hells I even gave her the fucking Mord Sith braid and din't realize it.

- Calloused behavior (doesn't quite get altruism) - Not a Princess (more flippant/casual) - Pragmatic Nonchalance (when she's putting on airs) - Bad at compassion and judgement (when she's being a little bratty)

And then for fun I had to do a full cover shot, as well as some shots of her in her full Mord Sith getup braid with Gortash Darken Rahl

I know some people have done movie and not TV or vice versa but I can't remember which, so forgive me for any double tags: @toomanyfamiliars @the-shadowfell-darkroom @dynamicducks @gortashsrighthand @thesanguinesonnet

More reference images below the cut:

Why does Tavrin take Gale's last name?

The quick answer: she would have taken anyone's. Gale's, Enver's, Minthara's, Lae'zel's if she had one, etc.

But Why? Lot's of reasons, really.

She effectively has no last name.

As I mentioned in my recent name meaning post, she technically has a drowic name but she doesn't remember it because she hasn't used nor heard it in 100 years. The only name she remembers is her Bhaal-given name which is Tavrin, no surname. She has no last name to give, anyway. But that doesn't necessarily mean she would take her partner's name. So why does she?

2. She had no status in Menzoberranzan.

Though Tavrin is technically a drow woman who grew up in Menzoberranzan, she grew up in the slums. She lived on the streets. She was a serial killer. People didn't even use her first name, they just called her L'Renor. Though no one truly knows it, she's a mimicry. An imperfect copy, not a true drow. And it shows in her appearance and ability, even if the reason isn't clear. Even when she was captured and "employed" by House Barrison Del'Armgo, she was property, not part of them. Women may have status and matriarchy in drow society, but she never did. She had more respect than men of similar status would and she was aware that being a drow woman in Menzo had its perks, but that was the extent of it. She eventually murders her captor-employers during a Dark Urge episode, and abandons Menzoberranzan for the surface world. There's not really a reason for her to carry the traditions of a society that she was never truly a part of. Particularly not when she exploited them, and they exploited her in turn.

3. She is actively trying to erase her past.

Though there is a brief period where Tavrin is trying to remember her past, once she does find out about it, she wants nothing to do with it. She's already on the road to redemption, and instead of wanting to know more about what her life was like before Orin's attack, she turns on her heel and runs from it. This is also why she moves to Waterdeep. Baldur's Gate presents too many chances for her to regain memories she doesn't want, and she wants a fresh start. If she'd married Lae'zel, she'd have gone with her too. (Admittedly, if she'd married Minthara, it would have been a hefty conversation about moving back to Menzoberranzan. I think she could be convinced, but it wouldn't be an easy decision. Minthara's determination to rebel against Llolth and her followers would have likely convinced her.) Taking her spouse's last name is a similar deal. If she can't truly erase her past, she will attempt to overwrite it. So taking on a last name is, in a sense, a new identity. The only part of her past she wants to keep is her first name, because it was the one thing she remembered for so long and so she's reclaimed it as hers. She won't give it up. Adding her spouse's last name onto it, however, helps her attach to a new life and a fresh start. But this contradicts with why she'd take Enver's last name. Which brings me to the final reason:

4. She's possessive and a lifelong thief.

This is only half a joke lol. But Tavrin has been a thief her entire life. Even when she has money, she steals things. If she wants or needs something, she claims it. So if her partner has no qualms with her taking their name (because she won't steal from them, of course), she latches onto it. It's hers now. No take-backs. It also seeps a bit into her desire for mutual possession. If she had a last name, she'd probably hyphenate and make her partner do so as well. But since she doesn't, she finds other ways to possess them (tattoos, for instances). By taking their last name, its her declaration that they possess her. This applies across the board with any partner.

Ｏｖｅｒｒｉｄｅ ＆ Ｕｎｄｅｒｇｒｏｕｎｄ

Rating: Explicit 18+ Pairings: Durgetash (active pairing) | Gale/Durge (exes & endgame) (banner image by @fireflyeyes <3)

Chapter 7: Tilted Word Count: 8,538

“Heyo~” she greets with a cheery demeanor. “Be just a minute for Wyll; he’s in the middle of a check.” She holds out a hand, strong arms straining against the sleeves of her uniform. “I’m Karlach. You must be Gale.” Gale shakes her hand, expecting the firm grip and still surprised at the strength of it. “A pleasure to meet you—” he begins, but her head turns at the sound of the passenger door shutting. She looks over, face lighting up bright…before it twinges down a peg with a heaviness she tries to hide. “Tav!” She calls out, Gale already yesterday’s news. “By the gods, it’s incredible to see you again.” Gale turns to look at her. Tav stands on the other side of the car, posture looking like a cornered animal trying to discern if it needs to run or defend itself. Expression like stone. “Hey, Karlach.” There’s familiarity in her voice; little warmth, but not the frost she’d shown him. Slowly, she rounds the hood of the car to stand next to Gale. Not too close, of course. She crosses her arms, eyes flitting from the tiefling to the customs line and back. “You still doing this?” Though her smile is genuine, there’s a bittersweet edge to it. “Gotta keep bread on the table somehow. You know it’s not easy for us Cheapside kids.” Tav’s lips tighten, her gaze averts. She doesn’t argue it. Before the tension can escalate even further, Gale attempts to diffuse some of the pressure. “The two of you know each other?” He recalls various anecdotes Tav had told him about her past when they were together, though she very rarely mentioned names. Suddenly remembering his presence, Karlach looks back to him. “Tav and I grew up together back in Heapside. Same foster house, same shitty back alleys, same shitty neighbors.” She looks to Tav with what she intends as reassurance. “Wasn’t an easy way to spend our teenage years, but we got through it together.” Tavrin’s nostrils flare as she huffs a breath, but otherwise puts up no protest. Gale hopes this is a sign that even if it’s unlikely she’s forgiven, perhaps for the sake of the mission she can put aside her— “Gale, Tav! We’ve been expecting you.” The moment Wyll steps into the circle, Tav’s hackles raise. Her biceps flex as she clenches her muscles, arms crossed under her chest as if it’s the only way to keep them controlled. Her jaw is so tensed, the vein in her neck becomes visible.  “Wyll.”

Read the full chapter on AO3 Or start at chapter 1 HERE.