my mother's daughter

The appreciative squeeze of her shoulder coaxed another smile and Josie momentarily laid her hand atop of her mothers, before resting it back into her lap. “I definitely won’t forget” she mused. Josie had often wondered if it was Caroline that she had acquired her own love of singing from, but she wasn’t particularly one for singing when she knew that other’s could be listening. 

Josie spent countless hours worrying about her relatives and Ric’s constant picking up and dropping of hobbies concerned her and had done for several years. She figured that his continuous need to remain busy was a distraction from the loneliness that he felt and she hated it, knowing that it wasn’t something that could be easily fixed. Nor something that she could help with, without meddling. “I think he’s … lonely. You know?” Her smile slowly began to faulter and she drew a soft breath. “Which is insane, because he’s literally never alone” but Josie knew that Caroline would understand what she meant. 

She was grateful for the distraction, immediate to turn her attentions towards her mother’s revelation of their destination, “we are? Mom, you have no idea how good that sounds right now.” Her smile was quick to return, “i’m excited to spend the day with you.” 

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And Caroline knew that Josie would keep her word, too - when it came to making promises, neither of them did it lightly.  She briefly wondered whether she’d have to google the lyrics, but the song was burned into her mind and she knew she wouldn’t have any trouble remembering it when the time came to sing.

Her own smile faded a little as well as her daughter spoke, mostly because she couldn’t deny what Josie was thinking.  “I think you’re right about that.  I think that you, daughter of mine, understand all too well what it’s like to be surrounded by people and still feel alone.”  It was definitely a trait that had come from Ric, maybe even from Jo, and Caroline sometimes had a difficult time relating to it.  “I do worry about your dad.  And I wish that he had someone in his life, instead of just work and whatever hobby he picks up in any given week.”  At the same time she couldn’t exactly throw someone at him, or he’d just say no.

Fortunately the mood shifted as she revealed their destination, and both of their smiles were of matching intensity.  “I thought it was something we could both really use right now, especially after everything that’s happened.  And I’m so looking forward to spending the day with you too.  Think we should get matching nails?”

Josie gave a defiant nod, her smile going from strength to strength as she stated, “I am, mom.” With a slight shake of her head at her mother’s next comment, Josie found herself relaxing back into the passenger’s seat once again as she responded, “we always mean it.” Her eyes soon widened within surprise and her lips parted at Caroline’s revelation, “you did not” she mused, shaking her head a little. She had heard her mother sing, usually in the shower, or when she thought that nobody was listening and Josie had to admit, that her mom had a beautiful voice. “That sounds really special, bedside’s you’ve got a great voice mom.”

 A soft giggle escaped her lips, raising a hand to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear as she thought of her father attempting to put his new hobby to use. She thought of MG, who was probably the unfortunate soul sat in the office and forced to applaud every now and again. “It’s probably just another hobby of the week. Which never makes sense because dad’s always so busy, but It’ll pass.” 

Josie was immediate to lean into her mother’s touch and her eyes fluttered shut for a moment, enjoying the comfort from her mother. “I’m really glad we’re doing this – but, you still haven’t told me where we’re going…”

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“I know you do, sweetheart.  I promise.”  It was difficult not to cast her mind back to that day, and all of the emotion that had come with it.  Her decision to sing had been born of a need to do something to honor her mother but being unable to give a eulogy without breaking down.  Josie’s compliment made her smile, and she reached over to give her daughter’s shoulder an appreciative squeeze.  “Remind me later, and maybe I’ll sing it on the way home.”  It had been many years now, and she knew she’d be able to sing it without getting too emotional.

Her eyes widened at the way her daughter articulated something she’d thought many times.  “Right?  I’ll never figure that out - he barely has a second that he’s not focused on the school or some ancient artifact, and then out of nowhere he’ll take up a hobby that’s going to take way too much of his time to get right.  It’s just weird.  I can’t wait for this particular one to go away, though,” she laughed.

“Haven’t I?” she teased with a grin.  “You and I, Josie, are going into the city for a proper spa day.  We’re going to get massages, manis and pedis, facials, the whole works.  Just some concentrated time for you and I.”

Josie fell silent for a moment, resonating with her mother’s words as there had certainly been moments in her own life where she and her sister hadn’t appreciated the relationship they had with their mother. Or at least, not entirely until Caroline had been away with work. “She knew how much you loved her mom” she replied softly, her dark orbs focusing on Caroline. “Just like you know how much me and Lizzie love you, even if we don’t say it enough. I’ll make a point of saying it more.” There was a momentary silence as she noticed her mother becoming a little misty eyed and she felt guilty for bringing her grandmother up, but she knew that it was important to Caroline to talk about her. 

As the conversation sought a slight shift, a soft giggle came from her at the mention of her father as she mused, “my lips are sealed. I think he would be devastated to hear that I didn’t enjoy the performance.” The memory of her father’s ‘attempt’ was engrained into her subconscious mind now and she was grateful that it had been her to take the bullet and not some innocent bystander. “I’m really not sure what he’s trying to achieve with it, but I’m hoping its just a phase.” The light within Josie’s features remained as Caroline offered her promise and she knew that it was 100 percent genuine. “That sounds like a perfect plan, mom.”

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“I hope you’re right,” Caroline offered her daughter a smile, meeting the gaze that was cast her way.  “Don’t ever feel like you need to say it for saying it’s sake, Josie.  I know that you do, and that’s all that matters.”  Which, she supposed, could be extended to her own mother - she hoped so, at least.  “Did I ever tell you that I sang at her funeral?  I didn’t make a habit of singing in public unless Elena and I were at karaoke or something, but that was an important one.”  She wasn’t sure why her mind had chosen that particular path to go down, but it felt like something they could talk about.

She was sure that was true; Ric was a wonderful man who sometimes thought he was capable of far more than he was in reality.  “You’re right, it’s best he never knows that you weren’t sitting there enraptured the entire time.  I wish I knew what he was trying to do either, maybe it’s for some spell or ritual - or he just got bored and needed a hobby, who can really say.”  Reaching over, she pulled Josie a little closer and pressed a kiss to the crown of her head.  There was so much she needed to share with both of her girls, so much to prepare for, but selfishly she wanted a few more happy moments first.

Josie breathed a soft sigh of relief, mumbling “okay” with a nod as Caroline offered her reassurance. The talk of her grandmother coaxed a smile from her and she enjoyed the way that her mother’s features lit up as she reminisced. “I like it when you talk about her. I know you miss her.” The young siphon offered a soft smile, before a giggle eased from her lips at Caroline’s words. “Kind of sounds like dad. I’m not even sure what he listens to constitutes as music” she teased as her laughter increased. “I swear I heard him practicing throat singing the other day too. In his office. It was so embarrassing.” Despite the lightness of the conversation, she could feel herself unintentional to tense as Caroline mentioned her travels and a part of her feared that Caroline was going to use this trip to soften the blow that she would be leaving again. However, the complete opposite happened and Josie’s lips parted within her surprise as she angled herself to face Caroline. “I would love that, mom. Lizzie too.” There was an innocence to her tone as she became visibly excited. “You promise? No more trips? Or at least, no more trips without us.” The game was a fantastic distraction and Josie had slipped back into the rhythm with ease. “I’ve been practicing” she mused with a playful smile.

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“I do.  I never really appreciated my relationship with my mother when I was younger, and I regret that.  Because when I grew up, after I transitioned, I really learned what a good woman she was.  And how much she loved all the parts of me, even the ones she didn’t like.  And it wasn’t fair that she never got to meet you both,” she was a little misty-eyed even thinking about Liz meeting the twins, but she tried to shake that off.  “Don’t tell him I said so, but I think you’re right about that.  And throat singing?  It was bad enough he bought that album, but he’d better not make a habit of singing along to it.”

It was an odd mix of emotion seeing Josie get so excited.  She really had been away too long, and for far too little gain, if it made her daughter happy just to know she wasn’t going to leave again.  “Cross my heart, baby.  It’s time for me to stay home and be here with my girls.  So if there’s any other trips in our future, they’re trips that we’re going to take together.  Although we’ll leave your father at home if he’s going to be doing any throat singing along the way.”

Caroline gave her head an impressed shake.  “I’ll say you have!  I can hardly keep up with you anymore.”

“You’re sure? I really don’t mind mom” there was a slight crease in Josie’s brow and her expression was taut in her attempts to determine what her mother needed in the moment. But, as Caroline offered her light-hearted reply, Josie’s frame visibly relaxed into the passenger’s seat and a soft laugh eased from her lips, “well, tease away.” Her musing came with a smile which removed any trace of tension from her features, in a way listening to the music that Lizzie preferred was almost, like having her twin with her. It was strange, she craved time alone, craved time to spend with her parents, but when it happened all she could think about was how Lizzie was doing. As their conversation remained upon lighter matters, Josie’s features lit up and she sat herself up in her seat, “me too mom, I really missed you. I missed this.” Whilst she knew that her mother’s work was important and ‘recruiting more kids for the school’ (or so they thought), was crucial, it didn’t prevent her from longing for even just a few moments with her mother. After a moments thought, Josie proclaimed “I remember” proudly and her smile grew from strength to strength as she began scoping out number plates.

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“Positive, sweetheart,” Caroline promised.  It made her happy to see Josie relax once she’d been assured that the teasing was only meant in fun.  “I’m trying to think of all the things my mother used to say about my music.  It’s too loud, it’s just noise, I don’t know how you listen to all of this,” she giggled.  “Although to be honest, your grandmother had awful taste in music and she never should have been allowed to comment.”  The returned dead had made the ache in her chest when she thought about Liz Forbes all the worse, but if her mother was at peace she could live with that.

“I missed you too.  There was so much I saw on my trip that I wanted to share with you, and pictures only tell a little bit of the story.  I think someday we should go to Iceland so you can see it all, because I think you’d love it.”  She looked out the windshield for a moment and back at Josie.  “But no more long recruiting trips.  I promise.”

Her daughter was fast, and even vampire reflexes weren’t helping her keep up.  “North-” she started, but Josie had already called the plate out and she shook her head.  “It used to take you longer to read the plates, I’m sure.”

Any time that Josie got to spend with her parents one on one was deeply cherished, although she still felt a horrendous pang of guilt whenever Lizzie wasn’t with her. She had wondered how Caroline had managed to secure a day of just the two of them, curious as to what bribe it had taken to appease Lizzie’s needs, even though she despised herself for having that thought.

The young siphon had been lost within her thoughts, simply enjoying the journey and the company of her mother as she glanced out of the window. Contentment eased between the pair and as she felt the tapping of Caroline’s finger against her shoulder, she was coaxed from her thoughts, turning to face her mother with a smile. “It’s usually Lizzie who decides what we listen to, but we can turn it off if you want?” Her response had been almost instantaneous in her attempts to ensure that her mother was enjoying the journey too. “We don’t have to listen to it, we can play a game instead? You know like we used to when me and Lizzie were little?”

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“Oh, we don’t have to turn it off,” Caroline promised.  Josie made her so proud, but sometimes she desperately wished her daughter wasn’t in quite such a hurry to please other people at the expense of her own happiness.  It wasn’t fair to her, and it wasn’t going to be fulfilling for her in the end.  “I just wanted to tease you about this newfangled music that you’re listening to these days.”  Although, given what Josie had said, she wondered whether it was even something Josie herself enjoyed listening to or whether it was something that her sister might have picked out if she were on the trip.

“But a car game does sound like fun, it’s been a long time.  I was away for much too long, and I’ve missed doing things like this with you.”  She thought for a moment.  “How about the license plate game?  Still remember that one?”

Josie’s version of the mother-daughter days was something that had taken Caroline a bit more time to plan.  Josie was so like her mother, strong and fiercely independent, that it could be hard to discern what she might need sometimes.  But the inspiration that had finally struck Caroline was one she hoped her daughter might enjoy - even though it required going out of town to make it happen.  There was, after all, no proper spa in Mystic Falls even before a bunch of the businesses had been forced to temporarily close for renovations after monster night (a name she still hoped to make catch on).

The most important thing, she thought, was making sure that Josie knew she had Caroline’s full attention.  Because that didn’t happen often enough, from either of her parents.  As they drove, she reached over to tap Josie’s shoulder and gesture to the radio.  “Is this what you kids are listening to nowadays?” she joked.  “It’s just noise, isn’t it?”

With the immediate threat behind them and two daughters who were going to be in need of some time to stop thinking about fairy tale monsters and evil mud pits, Caroline had decided to tackle the problem the only way she knew how.  And when it came to Lizzie, that meant some good old-fashioned retail therapy and a smoothie for each of them.  Only once they both had one in their hand and bags beside them as they sat did she try and broach anything resembling a serious conversation.

“Nice to have a second to breathe, isn’t it?  If I’d have known I’d have to kill a bigfoot I would have booked myself some vacation afterwards.”  That was a lie, of course, because she’d never have walked away from the school and the kids after something so traumatic, but it didn’t mean that the idea wasn’t tempting.  “I was so worried about you and your sister,” she admitted.  “All I could think about was getting back to you.”

If I could erase any memory...I don't think I would. This version of myself that exists now exists because of everything she's ever gone through. Me dying, my mom dying, my time without my humanity, losing Stefan, all of it. Trading any of that would make me a lesser version of myself, and I don't want that.

"Oh come on," Caroline waved a drunken hand. "What's the fun of sitting around talking about Ric if you're not going to answer questions like that? No one likes a boring game of truth or dare, Jo, you should know that." She pushed another beer toward the other and gestured to it. "If you're not going to give me truth, then I'm just going to have to make up for it with a dare."

If I had facebook, my status would be "it's complicated."

“Perhaps but the sooner I finish up here, the sooner I can get home to my husband and kids,” she admitted before reluctantly nodding and taking a seat in a nearby chair. A small smile was given in thanks as she took the water offered, downing half the bottle rather quickly as the blonde spoke. Her arm rose to wipe at her lips with her wrist as her hues glanced around the wreckage. The offer of a shower sounded pleasing to say the least but she saw no point in getting clean just to get dirty again so a head shake was given and a soft chuckle following. “I appreciate the offer, Miss. Forbes, but I’d hate to waste water just to get dirty again,” Darcy spoke.

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Caroline understood the urge to get home, but there was nothing to be gained if Darcy ended up working herself past the point of being able to get home safely, either.  “Oh god, no, Miss Forbes is my mom.  Just call me Caroline, please,” she smiled.  “And I see your point about the shower, I think the idea was better in my head.”  Her gaze followed the other woman’s around the room and a soft sigh parted her lips.  “What a mess.  I have no idea how we’re going to talk parents into letting their kids stay after this.”  Caroline shook her head.  “I’m really glad you could be here to help the kids.”

Stefan rubbed the bridge of his nose and sighed soon hanging up the phone and going back to his drink taking a sip of his drink and downing the rest of it. His heard turned up at the mention of his name and he rose his eyebrow before turning towards the blonde, a smile formed on her lips “Yes, that’s me, you know me?” The more that Stefan looked at the blonde in front of him the more she felt very familiar to him, he stood up from his bar stool and furrowed his brow “you look familiar, I’m sorry I don’t remember you, memory loss” he admitted with a chuckle.

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location: mystic grill tagged: @mysticofthefallenstarter​

Stefan was on the phone with the woman who had helped him, she was freaking out because of the fact that Stefan was at the Mystic Grille and it confused him. Why did she care so much, what was it about this town that was driving her crazy? He didn’t know but he was just trying to come her down “I’m just having a drink, I needed to get out for a little bit, why are you freaking out?” unbeknownst to him, someone was watching him.

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Cora was quick to turn her attentions to Caroline, offering a soft sigh of relief as she realised it was her and allowed for her frame to relax. “It wasn’t your fault” the young wolf assured; her steel blue hues fixated upon the blonde as she continued. “We survived, didn’t we? – that’s something. Half of the people here knew how to defend themselves because of this school. Because of you.”

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Caroline teared up a little, caught off guard by Cora’s words.  The day’s events were still being processed, and all she’d been doing since things had settled was think of all the ways that they’d failed and let down the students and staff under their care.  “Thank you,” she murmured thickly, trying not lose control before everything was done.  “I guess that did help a little, didn’t it?  And you’re alright?  None of those things took a piece out of you?”

Though Darcy’s medical expertise was mostly limited to animals, most of what she knew could still be used to help with any of the injured as she moved through the halls of the boarding school with a duffel bag filled with supplies she had quickly gone to gather from her office before returning. She had quickly busied herself with stitching up a deep wound on someone finishing rather quickly just as someone stopped nearby, casting a shadow as she took the last snip and she pushed herself up from the floor. “Just make sure you go see your doctor to get those removed in a few weeks,” she told the other helping them up. “Or come find me at my clinic or the farm just off the edge of town.” As the one she had been helping moved away, the witch turned to face whoever had approached, a soft hum leaving her lips as an arm rose to wipe across her forehead, the mix of sweat and blood still sticking to her skin. “Did you need something looked at,” she questioned. “I’ll warn you know most of my medical expertise is limited to animals but it’s not too terribly hard to correlate it to humans so…”

@mysticofthefallenstarter​

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“No, I’m fine,” Caroline promised.  “But you look like you’re going to hit the deck any second, so why don’t you just sit for a minute?  There’s no one out here so urgent that you can’t take a breath.”  She’d gathered food and bottles of water from the cafeteria and offered both to Darcy.  “I can’t tell you how much we appreciate everything you’re doing.  The hospital’s already overwhelmed, and having you here at the school to help everyone here has made a huge difference in lightening the load a little and helping keep the kids calm.

She gestured to the small crowd still seeking attention from Darcy.  “Why don’t you go have a shower in the dorms, and I’ll triage everyone who’s left in the meantime?  I can’t guarantee what’s left for hot water, but hopefully at least enough for that.”

The boarding school had been insistent that the injured were to get immediate medical attention, but despite Cora looking as though she had been through the wars, there wasn’t a single scratch on her. “I’m okay, really…” she attempted to assure once again, defeat etched into her tone as she murmured, “I just wanna go home.” Despite her protests, she hadn’t been allowed to leave just yet and the nurse had exited the room to acquire some extra bandages. Just as the woman had left, had the door swung open again and restless footsteps barged into the room. “I’m sorry, this rooms taken.”

@mysticofthefallenstarter​

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“I know it is,” Caroline promised softly, moving far enough into the room to sit in the chair by the door.  She rested her head in her hands for a moment and sighed loudly thinking about what they’d been through that day.  “I’m sorry that this happened.  We built this school to be a safe place, and today it wasn’t nearly as safe as we wanted it to be.”  She shook her head, not even really sure where she was going with her words.  “I’ll get you out of her as soon as I can, and you can go home to your family.  I’m sure they’re worried.”