Stay At Home Tour Diary

Getting Your Brand Spanking New Band Booked

I put up a Facebook post asking folks about how to go about getting booked a music venue, and I gathered here some of the best answers (both flippant and serious) for your reading pleasure.

The original post:

I'm interested in what you guys think on this: Coming from a new band's perspective, what do you think are some good and / or bad practices as far as getting a show at a venue that is unfamiliar with your music? Both genuine answers and humorous ones are appreciated.

Anyway, here ya go!

. Know the venue, or....show up Say Anything style on the sidewalk in front. Boombox, trench coat and everything.

. Concentrate on being good before thinking you can play any stage in town.

.  If the venue has a specific/requested way of getting in touch/booking bands/etc., do not stray from that course.

. This. I’ve never worked for a venue where calling the box office is how you get booked there, yet people still do that. A lot.

. Don't put anyone on the guest list. Or, tell your friends and family what time you actually go on. Get used to playing in front of people you don't know. Get used to playing to nobody. Your mom and dad are always gonna tell you the are the most talented kid in school.

. First is having well recorded music. An iPhone video of you playing an open mic is not enough. Play shows wherever you can. No one will think you're garbage for playing a show at a certain venue and having more on your "resume" is always a good thing. Lastly is really just networking, which most people do just not understand. Be friendly and easy to work with, stay in touch with people that you vibe with and something will come along eventually. Not being a dick goes such a long way.

. reate a Facebook event announcing the show, collect 1k people as "Attending." . Rule of thumb, always let the venue owner know ahead of time, like at least 24 hours. that way they have time to clean up and arrange for sound engineers and staff appropriately. Remember, they have a business to run

. Play like your hair is on fire. Thank everyone who talks to you afterwards. Don't go hunting for feedback right after you play. It's bad form.

.  If you're new and do not have a previous body of work locally as any reference... You need to be going to shows as often and regularly as possible just for face recognition. Record a professionally mixed and mastered demo, even if it's only 2 songs. Quit spam emailing venues who get 96885 emails per day from bands and booking agents.. You're local. Go down to the venue and talk to the staff/owner and have your demo in hand. Quit spam emailing asking just to play. Either have a date or two you already want to book or know their upcoming schedule enough to ask if you can be local support for a particular show. If you're going to shows regularly, you should be networking with other local bands.

. Tell the venue to make sure that they have enough whiskey because you're fans will drink "a LOT of whiskey." Also, that you bring at least 350 people to your shows.

. Don't get on social media and talk shit about venues or the scene being snobby or cliques if you're not going to do your part for the benefit of your band. No one here owes you shit.

. From a DIY perspective, finding a strong local to pair with should precede selection of venue or promoter.

. Play live. Don't use backing tracks. If it isn't perfect live that's OK. It's rock n roll.

. It's been said but shake hands/introduce yourself to all the staff at the venue - Security, bar staff, managers, sound/tech, etc.

. My two cents on a local level: Always default to being NICE no matter what level you are on. At some point when you’re old and washed up, those kids that opened for your bands might be nice enough to ask you to open for them one day. Have a demo. Also, tell people what in the hell you sound like. As a person that has played in band, we all hate those labels, but it is OKAY to say who you rip off. I know a lot folks will say that you need to network, but bands usually only network with other bands and not club owners...and I feel like club owners aren’t necessarily networking with bands and/or they probably wouldn’t go check out a “prospective” band when they play at another venue. I guess you could say start networking with other show attendees that are more likely than not to be in a band, work at a venue, etc...and to do this you actually have to go to shows. This is something I wrestle with constantly because I used to try to go to as many shows as possible, but my life just isn’t in a place to where I can do that with much frequency these days. Finally, do your diligence on the club (ie., suitability assessment). Be honest with yourself about the “type” of music you create, where it could fit in on a bill, and which venues will welcome it.

. 1. Create a Facebook page with some badass videos of you slingin' your jams around and gettin' rowdy in the basement. 2. Go to the venue you want to play. Bring in a half filled out job application for a random store, like Blockbuster Video. 3. Crumple it up and throw it at the bar manager, saying "I don't want this dumbass job! I want to ROCK! Put me on at 10:30 or else!" 4. Refuse to leave. And knock some shit over.   5. Wait for the police to arrive and make a scene. Scream your name/band name over and over while being removed from the premises. Don't forget to mention Facebook. 6. Wait for the witnesses to check out and share those badass videos of you from Step 1. Everyone loves talking shit about crazy people. 7. You've made it. Have a great career.

. set all of your money on fire and cuss out all of your best friends.

. First: Starting a band is a bad idea, what the fuck are you thinking?! Second: Have some sort of “proof” your band does indeed exist(you’d be surprised, or maybe not) i.e. Halfway decent demo, doesn’t have to be perfect just listenable. Third: Be patient. You’re going to get told “No”. Many times. In fact, you should probably not contact a venue on your own, if they don’t know you from Adam’s house cat. Be humble, polite, don’t cause trouble, and put on a good show, and they may just contact you. It may take a while, but if you’re willing to work your ass off, you’ll get into that “Oh so rad venue of venues that we HAVE to play”.

. Good: adapt to the venue's booking requirements and follow through by meeting/exceeding the booker's expectations. There's no one way to get a show, so be prepared for every requirement or potential way to sweeten the pot that you can be. When you get an opportunity, crush it.

Bad: Bullshit draw. If you can only draw 20 people, find a venue and time slot where 20 people is a good thing instead of promising 50. Piss off the staff. Play too loud. Play too long. Start too late. Suck at tuning. Play to the wrong room; your theatrical death metal band should definitely throw cow blood on cafe patrons after a poetry reading.

. Don’t try booking at a venue that won’t be accommodating to your 747 jet engine loud ass wall of sonic death. Also, don’t try booking a tiny show at a BIG venue. The last couple of years of Throng of Shoggoths MKI, we were invited to play a local music fest for the second year in a row. The year before the venue we played had plenty of PA and room, and the right patrons. The next year, well they tried to put us at Rouge Tavern. Can you fucking imagine that band in that place? We said “No thanks, we’ll probably blow the windows out, and scare ALL of their business away”.

As one might analyze a year based on the deaths of heroes and legends especially in the realm of music, I can see why a lot of people hate 2016. With that said, within my own bubble, I get to work with some of the best, most hard working folks I've ever known. I really feel like I have a family, support group, and veritable gang with the staff of Saturn (I would tag everyone, but I'd surely leave someone important out and look like a total goober).

I'm sure anyone who runs a venue feels this way, but I truly can't express how much I love and care for the guys and gals down there. On top of that, I can't thank everyone who has come out and supported us and been so awesome over the last year and a half. I truly have found that I am happiest by partaking in some small piece of making other folks happy, be that having someone see their favorite band or someone just chilling out and having a good conversation over coffee with old friends or new.

In all honesty, it was a really hard road from moving on from Bottletree to having even a modicum of confidence in thinking anyone would give a crap about anything I do--especially with a brand new space. Everyday I feel so grateful to be able to do what I do even when there are 18 hour-long days or there are 200 work days straight or whatever. I simply feel genuinely lucky and graced to be able put on shows. Being able to see great live bands over the years has probably saved my life so I try to pass that on in whatever way I possibly can.

So, on a rare serious note, thank you so incredibly much. It's hard to always please everyone and make sure every band and every patron gets the exact same high quality experience, but I think we try hard to do that. As corny as many people might think this is, I hope we can keep striving to give people who come out great sounding shows with superb bands, fun times and excellent customer service. Maybe it's not the most valid quest in the universe, but the constant path of trying to improve things in some small way or another has become my own little art form I guess. Anyway, that's why I wake up excited to work every single day, and I thought I'd say as much, it being New Year's Day where often a figurative, simultaneous moment of reset and retrospect temporarily collide.

Brian Scott Teasley

For years and years, especially throughout the decade of the 1990s that brought about such now forsaken things as inline skating, Tamagotchis and Captain Planet, I kept a tour diary while touring with my band, Man or Astro-Man?. After a show you might expect someone in their mid-twenties during the heyday of the indie / alternative rock explosion to be partying up a perfect storm of rock ‘n’ roll depravity and sniffing illicit drugs off of some strange thing or another, but, sad truth be known, mostly you would find me backstage with your stereotypical black-and-white composition notebook relentlessly jotting down notes about where the van broke down, how fun a show was, why people didn’t show up, and how damn long the flight to Australia was; or, simply whatever other strange or mundane random events a particular day had wrought while on tour.  

Reading back through journal after journal of date after date of my small rock club travelling sideshow that went all throughout the world, it occurred to me that I personally missed the process of logging in everyday and writing almost as much as I did the touring itself.  With that said, scribbling away in a road journal isn’t quite motive enough to always keep touring 250-plus days a year.

Thus, now, after booking and helping run a club called Bottletree in Birmingham, AL for nearly a decade, I have decided that with my new club, Saturn, being figuratively landlocked from life on the road, I would nonetheless keep a log of all the shows put on at the venue, and, along with that, the various happenstances that go down as we get a new grouping of musician folk who are rolling through Birmingham to play for the masses.

I’m sure the format will change over time before this fully takes shape, but my hope is that anyone interested will find these writings a revealing behind-the-scenes examination of all the blood, sweat, tears, and, of course, endless rolls of duct tape that indeed hold a club together. My guess is that it will mostly contain stories concerning a lot of really hard work mixed with a heavy dose of comedic boredom and immense fun. Hope you will tune in.