SARSAGONOSAUR

Thredbo Village, NSW 

Last week, my mum told me told me to catch up on an episode of ANC's Pipol, wherein they feature the popular Cebuano designer Kenneth Cobonpue. Our family, especially my dad and I, have always been big fans of his work. And so, thanks to the magic of Youtube, I was able to watch the episode, and listen to his story and what he had to say.

It was incredibly inspiring to hear how much his love for design and immense amount of hard work and determination, put him to where he is today. But what really struck me the most were his views on design and the Philippines. Listening to him talk about these idealistic views left me with goosebumps and teary eyes. Hearing a visionary like himself speak about these ideals which I've only kept in my head. Being more of a realist by nature, I feared they seemed too naive and idealistic to share.

As "fan girl" as it sounds, I was so inspired by his interview that I felt that I just needed to thank him his views and for pinning the Philippines onto the map of the design world. So knowing I really have got nothing to lose, I sent him an email through his company's trunk line:

Dear Mr. Cobonpue, I am Sara Abbu, a Cebuana who is studying fashion design in Sydney, Australia. A couple of days ago, my mother sent me a message, telling me that I need to watch your ANC Pipol interview as soon as I can, and so I did. To be honest, I feel foolish writing this, knowing you probably won't even get to read it. But I just really feel like I need to reach out and thank you for your views on design and the Philippines. So inspiring! This whole bit in your interview really left me with goosebumps and teary eyes. It really is refreshing to hear that these idealistic views that I only had in my head are being shared by a visionary like yourself. Studying abroad has really opened my eyes to the great potential of our own country, and it really is frustrating to see it go to waste. All I hope for is that someday, myself, and along with a whole lot more designers, would be able to continue on the way you have competitively put the Philippines into the design world. Cheers! Sara Abbu

  And amazingly, I received a reply (with some great advice) from his personal email within the next day:

Hi Sara, I started my day with your touching letter, and I want to thank you for taking the time out to tell me what you feel. It gives me great joy to be an inspiration to you and many Filipinos around the world. Over time, I have realized that what I do is not as important as what I represent. My works will die one day, but the idea that the Filipino can shine in the world will last forever.   I wish you all the best in your studies. You are the hope and the future of our country. Learn all you can from outside, and combine it with who you are. That fusion will make you unique.  If you come to Cebu, do visit me in my showroom. If you have any friends or family, they are very welcome to come anytime to see it also. I hope to meet you one day. Take care and let your life and work be always guided by your ideals. Very best, Kenneth 

I was about 15 the first time I had visited Australia. With that first visit, I immediately knew i just had to be here. Fast forward 7 years later, I’m in Sydney, studying a year long fashion course. Which to be completely honest, I initially enrolled in, in hope of finding a job and eventually staying on. In other words, as a scapegoat to permanently ditch home.

But 6 months in and the first semester done, I’ve found myself still jobless and probably future-in-Australia-less. I had a job in a food court, but only lasted a day (too unhygienic and had a neurotic chinese lady for a boss. long story.). I had an amazing fashion internship, but it ended before it even started. So I guess you could say that the employment fairy godmother really hasn’t been working her magic. As someone who’s a serial planner, this reality and uncertainty is hard to come by. This is really not how I planned things to be. Throughout my entire life, all my plans have pulled through and I have never failed at anything I set my mind to. But now, here I am, taking all the rejection and failure I seemed to have missed out on, like its one massive avalanche.

I can’t help but to compare myself to my friends back home, with their salaries and independence. While here I am, eating ice cream on my aunt’s couch, like a hobo on holiday. Still cashing out everyone’s money instead of raking in my own. I also can’t help but think about the job opportunities back home that i had to put down in order to be here. Not to boast or anything, but I didn’t even have to go looking for them, they came to me. And now, here I am, sending out heaps of resumes every week and getting hardly even any replies. I can now hear my mother’s voice in my head (hi ma) saying “Australia’s not for you. It’s not what God wants. There are so many jobs here, and you’d be the boss.”, translated from bisaya of course. To be fair, I know she means well and has my best interest at heart, and does not intentionally make it a point to be the pessimist (in a way, I guess all mothers are). But I’ve always found the phrase “not what God wants” as something immensely subjective. Does it mean that if you fail, even for the first time, that it’s ultimately not for you? What if God was just testing you on how much you really want it? Or what if! That’s not the path He wants you to take towards it, as He’d rather want you to take the bumpy difficult path instead? What about Michael Jordan getting kicked off his high school team? Steve Jobs getting fired from Apple? Trust me, I can go on forever.

Although throughout my study, I really am learning amazing things. Things I never thought I could do, like draw haha. I’m grateful that now I’ve finally had some clarity on what I can actually do. I somehow always knew graphic design really wasn’t for me. As much as I still love and appreciate it, I’m now sure that it really isn’t. And it fuels me even more to dig up my childhood dream of having my own label. In fact, I’ve already decided that if I do continue this streak of this unemployment luck that I go back home and set it up. Idealistically, I hope to be able to help my own countrymen and economy as well. I mean, why not help your own, especially when they need you, right? Thinking about it makes me so excited that I’d wish I could jump on the first flight home and start at it right now.

Then again, there are days wherein I dread the thought of having to go home. Seeing its ridiculous excuse for a government (Tito Sotto, yes, people like you.), and how everyone seems to be into everyone else’s business. I love that in Australia, you can wear whatever you want, say and do whatever you want and nobody gives a ——. I also don’t know if I can let go of 15-year old Sara’s idea of living in one of those quirky terrace houses with colored doors in those hip inner city suburbs, or a flat by Bondi beach. But daydreams and wingeing aside, I mostly cringe at the thought of having to work in a society where your family name, and who you know, seem to be of more importance than of what you can actually do. Don’t get me wrong, life back home is great! Amazing food, family and friends all just 10mins away, don’t have to cook and clean haha. But either way, you really can’t have everything.

Tuung - Hustle

So it's been 6 weeks of school, and everyone's been asking me how it's been. Well, to sum it up, it's probably as chill as school can get. Arts and crafts, all day, every day! Haha! But for someone who can't draw to save her life, and whose OCD can't deal with lack of "Command+Z" in real life, I'm actually really learning a lot. More importantly, I'm enjoying the work too. Homework doesn't even really feel like work. Well, I still have to force myself to do it, but the actual work's pretty fun haha.

Anyway, here's a bunch of stuff I did in the past weeks.

Float On by Modest Mouse

A typical train commute for me is an hour in each way. At first it was boring as hell, but now I’ve learned to appreciate the time I get to tune out and think. So this first entry of Sara’s Yellow Line Notes (the train I take’s on the yellow line haha) are my thoughts on chances and choices. Never mind the context of where these thoughts stem from, you don’t have to know that. :))

I believe that where we stand today is an outcome of 25% chance and 75% choice. To be clear, by “chance”, I mean something that’s completely out of our control; something that was probably orchestrated by the The Big Guy above, or the Universe, or whatever it is you believe in. And by “choice”, I mean our sheer will and following drive.

So when something (or someone) that could be great falls unto our lap, this is where “chance” comes in, whether you’ve asked for it or not. Because even if the time doesn’t seem right.. come on, with the 7 billion people in the world, it had to come to you. We, in turn, now hold a responsibility of what to do with this chance that was given to us. Do we just set it down and move on or make a choice to take the chance? Make the most of it, and see what greatness and happiness becomes of us. If ultimately, it doesn’t work out, and you fall in your face, at least you know you have done everything you could to go for it. And that maybe it just isn’t for you. But if in the end it is, it’ll surely come back around. Also, it doesn’t mean that you were given this opportunity, the ultimate outcome’s meant for you. At least you know how it turned out, whether good or bad. Instead of constantly wondering about it. As cliche as it sounds, sometimes the journey is better than the destination. Pick yourself up, open your eyes, and hold on for another one.

This is probably as far as i could spread this out without going in circles, and besides, everyone probably already knows all this. It’s just that I’ve made a choice to take a couple chances, and I’m hoping it turns out for the best. In fact, writing this all up was a choice to go after a chance already.

So if whoever’s reading this can’t decide on a choice to take the chance or not, this is the sign you’re looking for. :)