Nothing Is As It Seems

you know who’s gay? paul the real estate novelist who never had time for a wife and davey who’s still in the navy and probably will be for life

New headcannon: everyone in that song is gay except the Piano Man who has no idea he’s playing at a gay bar and the staff and regulars have a betting pool on how long he’ll take to finally figure it out. So far John is ahead.

“The manager gives me a smile ‘cause he knows that it’s me they’ve been coming to see” also implies that the Piano Man is possibly an incredibly attractive but oblivious himbo, and if you listen to the rest of it imagining that, this all fits a little too well.

this makes too much sense. Also, the full quote is “Now John at the bar is a friend of mine. He gets me my drinks for free. And he’s quick with a joke or to light up your smoke. But there’s someplace that he’d rather be” Yes, your bed, he wants to be on your bed honey, that’s not a joke, he is flirting with you.

Lighting another man’s cigarette is some old-school gay cruising.

You know, good on him for just rolling with it.

often you will see things online where you just have to be like "what a strange thing to say" or "i don't think that's true :)" to yourself and try to move on or you will lose your mind

Still a hopeless romantic after all this time. Very insane of me.

very irresponsible of me 

Sometimes I see art and think to myself "You know, that was an excellent use of that person's time." and nod sagely.

im so normal about these middle aged women

thank you to all the beautiful women who follow me even though i'm doomed

sorry i’m depressing, it’s the depression

i wont worry about it i say to myself with the always worried disorder

I have GOT to stop spending $30

$30 is the new $5 but $100 is still $100 #Fucked