My thoughts in word form

"Baby......" Maks said softly. A few weeks ago, they had gone to sign Clara up for kindergarten. She would be going to the same school as Addie. Addie was still there for two more years so they had hoped it would help with the transition for Clara. Clara had been extremely resistant to the idea however. On more than one occasion she had voiced her displeasure at the upcoming change in her life. This however was the first time that she seemed genuinely upset. In the past, she had simply stated that "No, I do not want to go to school." Then she'd move on with things like it hadn't happened. 

"I don't want to not be with you. I don't want to not be with Momma. I don't want to go somewhere without you. Please don't make me papa. Please." She said desperately. Maks looked back in the rearview mirror and could see her starting to panic and meltdown. 

"Sweetheart, can you take a deep breath for me. I'm going to stop and then we can talk okay?" Maks said as he realized they were near the park by their house. 

"No....home....please." She said as she tried to do what Maks had asked. He figured she probably wanted her lovies which were not going to be anywhere if they stopped. 

"Okay, we'll go home. We're almost there. Then we'll talk." He said gently. She nodded her head as the tears kept falling down her cheeks. Her breathing seemed to settle a bit and Maks focused on getting them home. Once they were there, he parked and went around to help her out of the backseat. Instead of jumping out however, she reached for him and wrapped her arms around his neck clinging to him tightly.

"I got you little one." Maks murmured, holding her tightly, he reached in and grabbed her gym bag and slipped it on his arm before heading into the house. 

"Hey....how was....oh did she fall asleep?" Peta asked as she seen Clara attached to Maks like a little monkey. 

"No. Actually...." Maks started but was interrupted by Clara's sob which made Peta look at the two in concern. 

"School." Maks said softly. 

"Ohhh."

"Papa, can we get Whiskers please?" Clara asked through her tears. 

"Alright love, lets go get Whiskers and then we'll head outside. Momma is going to come too okay? So we can all talk." Maks said as he rubbed her back.  

"I'm going to go tell Addie where we'll be. She's working on her English project." Peta said. Addie was taking an accelerated English program so she had a little bit of summer work. Maks nodded and headed towards Clara's room so he could gather her things before he headed out to the swing.

"Hey Buttercup." Peta said sitting down next to the two of them. Maks shifted and Clara slid between her parents. Her tears and sobs continued however as the realization of school had seemed to completely sink in. 

"It's okay baby." Mask whispered softly as they left her get this out. They had learned with both girls that rather than talking them down, they needed to just let them feel what they needed to with the exception of hysterical sobbing. In those cases, they did their best to comfort or soothe. It took a good fifteen minutes before Clara started to settle to where they could talk to her. 

"Are you ready to talk things over with us sweetheart?" Peta asked pressing a kiss to her head once she felt Clara had calmed enough. 

"I guess momma." She said with her lip trembling still. 

"Okay buttercup, so you don't want to go to school." Peta said as she didn't completely catch what had happened when the two came in but she assumed that's what the issue was.

"No. I don't want to be not with you and Papa anymore." She said as she shook at the thought. 

"Baby, I know you're scared, I was too." Peta said as she brushed some of Clara's hair out of her face as Clara pressed as tightly into Maks's shoulder as she could. 

"You was...?" Clara said in complete shock, surely her super momma didn't get scared. 

"I was. I was scared of going to a new place and not knowing anyone and being away from Gigi and Pappy."

"Like me?" 

"Just like you. And you know what buttercup?"

"What?" 

"It's okay to be scared, you know that right?" 

"But I don't like it. It makes my tummy feel funny and sometimes I get wet eyes and then I cry. And I don't want to be scared." Maks could feel her anxiety kicking up again as she explained things to Peta so he shifted her slightly and nestled her better into his arms. He felt her body relax just very very slightly.

"It is a very funny feeling sometimes buttercup but you know what? It just means you're growing up. And sometimes when we grow up we have to do some things that are a little scary at first but then they get less and less scary every time you do it." 

"What if it doesn't?" Clara asked softly. 

"Then we work on it. Do you remember when you were learning your backbend and you were super scared to do it because you didn't like going backwards and not being able to see?" 

"Yeah, I fell all the time cause Miss Natalie said I would panic and freeze and that wasn't good."

"Right! It wasn't. Then what did Miss Natalie do?" 

"She showed me some things to help and then shed spot me and she showed you and Addie how to spot me too so I could practice and get better."

"That's right. And that's what a lot of things will be like as you grow up. They may be scary initially but then as things get going, we'll figure out ways to help and how to make it better." 

"Can you and Addie come spot me in Kindergarten?" Clara asked innocently, making both of her parents grin in response. 

"That won't work this time little one but you do have Addie down the hall from you. So she's in the same place as you, just in different rooms." 

"Oh..."

"Did you know Addie was scared about Kindergarten too?" Peta said remembering Addis's first day. 

"No! Addie loves school!" Clara said in shock. 

"She does now but she was super nervous the first day. She even cried. I'll bet if you asked her about it, she'll explain everything to you so you know what to expect." 

"Will she?" 

"I think so. You want to ask her now?" 

"In a minute. Is it okay if I'm still scared?" Clara said as she curled back into Maks and reached for Peta's hand. 

"It's okay buttercup, you just let Papa or I know what you need okay? I promise we'll keep you safe and we wouldn't send you anywhere that we thought you wouldn't like."

"Momma is right little one. While all little ones have to go to school at some point, Momma and I get to pick where you go and we know you'll like it." 

"Just like when you picked my new gym?" 

"Exactly like that." 

"Oh. Okay." She said nodding her head before becoming quiet. Peta looked at Maks to see if he thought they should keep talking but he shook his head no slightly. He figured she was calm for now, there would be more meltdowns later and they'd have to find other things to talk about to help with the situation. With Addie, they only had issues the first day and then after that when they found out Peta was pregnant. The second time however had nothing to do with her actually going to school but had everything to do with her fear of something physically happening to Peta. 

The three sat on the swing for quite some time letting Clara do what she needed. She stayed curled up with both of her parents just taking in their comfort. After a while Addie came to find them and joined them on the swing. 

"Addie...." Clara said after a little bit of the four sitting there. 

"Yeah Clar?" 

"I'm ascared of school. Momma and Papa said you cried too but now you love it." 

"I did cry on my first day cause I got super nervous but Momma and Papa promised me that I was safe and that I'd like it. And they were right." 

"What happens? Momma and Papa telled me the same thing but my tummy still feels funny and I don't want to go yet. I like being with Momma and Papa and you." 

"I like being with you too but we have to go to school. It's how we learn things. I can tell you all about it though. Kindergarten is super fun. You learn but you play too and you do lots of crafts and sing songs. Wait, who is her teacher? Is it Miss Callie like me?" Addie asked. 

"Yes it's going to be Miss Callie." Maks answered as she shifted Clara some so she could see her sister on the other side of Peta. 

"Oh, good. I had Miss Callie too Clara. She is super super nice and friendly and she makes you feel safe. So before you go for the first day, you'll go visit with Momma and Papa and meet Miss Callie and see everything. She'll show you your seat, your cubby, the room, and everything so that it's not all scary when you go for real the first time. Then on the first day, when you get there, momma and papa will drop you off and then Miss Callie will help you find a friend. That's how me and Grace became friends. Miss Callie thought we'd be good friends and she was very right because we're still friends now. So then every day is pretty much the same, you get there and put your stuff up. You have free play which sometimes is whatever you want and sometimes centers which are cool. Then you have circle time where you learn songs, the days of the week, the date and all this cool stuff, then you get center time where you rotate through different places to play or places to make projects. Then everyone helps cleanup, you have snack time. You do story time and then you learn some things. Then you have either time in the playground or in the gym if it's rainy. Then Momma and Papa come. You have so much fun and it's so busy that it's time to go home before you know it." 

"What if I don't like my friend?" Clara asked pensively as she had listened to everything that her sister had said. 

"Then Miss Callie will help find you a new one. But you all get to play together all the time. Grace and I used to play with Lucy, Michael, Jordan, and Izzie everyday but sometimes we'd all play with the other kids too. Grace just ended up being my best friend." 

"Do I have to play with other people all the time? What if I want to be alone?" Clara asked. Peta knew that was probably an issue, while Clara was an absolute sweetheart and got along with everyone, there were moments when she just needed a break from everyone and would just ask to spend time alone or with Maks or Peta separately. It was like her shyness kicked in and she needed to reset. 

"Then you can do that. They have quiet corners and reading nooks where you can cuddle with a stuffed toy and look at a book or play with something quietly by yourself." 

"Did you do that?" 

"I did sometimes. I liked looking at the books and there was a huge stuffed monkey that I would cuddle with." 

"Oh. Okay." 

"Does that help some?" 

"A little. I'm still scareded." Clara said sheepishly. 

"It's okay Clar. There's two more things that might help some and even if you're still scared it's okay. Momma says we're allowed to be scared but we shouldn't let us stop it from at least trying new things. Right momma?" 

"Right baby." Peta said with a smile. 

"What are the two things?" Clara asked. 

"Well the first thing is that I'll be in the same place as you for this year and next year before I move to the new building. So even though you'll be in your own classroom, you'll still be in the same place as me. Like when we're at home but you're playing in the playroom and I'm practicing dance in the basement." 

"Oh, I like that. What if I need you?" 

"You can ask Miss Callie. You might be able to say hi to me sometimes but since I have to keep learning I won't be able to play but I could probably give you a hug quick." Addie said shrugging her shoulders and looking at Maks and Peta. 

"It's something we can talk to Miss Callie and your teacher about Addie Girl. As long as it's not all the time, it may be okay." Maks said. 

"Okay." 

"What's the other thing Addie?" Clara said as she continued to just take everything in. 

"Umm, wait, let me check and make sure it's real." Addie said realizing that she needed to make sure this would happen too. She leaned up to Peta and whispered in her ear. "Does she get to go on a shopping day like I do when it's school time?" 

"She does, you two can either pick to go together or have your own days." Peta said. 

"Oh good, I'm okay either way. Okay Clara so when it comes school time, you need some things, like a backpack and lunchbox for when you go to the studio after school. Then you need tennis shoes and clothes so Momma and Papa take us on a shopping day and we get to help pick everything out and then we go to dinner somewhere cool and it's a whole day for us. And I just checked with Momma and she said you get to do it too this year and that we can either have our own days or we can do a day together." 

"Ohh, really? Can we do it together?" 

"Yeah. we can do that." Addie said smiling. She had figured that is what her sister would pick. She thought it was pretty cool most times that Clara looked up to her and trusted her so much. Sometimes it was hard but for the most part she loved it and she loved being a big sister. 

"Yay! When do we get to go?" 

"Probably next week. You guys have about 3 weeks before you start. Clara, we have your Meet Miss Callie day in a few days and then maybe we can have the special day right after that." 

"Can we do a countdown?" Clara asked needing to know exactly when everything was happening. She had picked up the joy in the countdowns just as much as her sister had and enjoyed knowing when things were happening. 

"Yeah, we can do that. How about we work on it tonight after we finish dinner?" 

"Okay papa, thank you." 

"You're welcome little one. How do you feel about school now?" 

"Not as scareded as before but still a little bit. It helped talking to everyone. Thank you everybody." She said reaching to hug each of her family members. 

"You're welcome baby and just remember that you can talk to any of us whenever you need if you get scared okay?" 

"Okay." Clara said and with that they headed in to start dinner and then work on the countdown for the start of the school year. The next week passed pretty smoothly with dance and gymnastic practices along with Clara's Meet Miss Callie day. It had went by pretty smoothly with the only exception of Clara refusing to leave Maks and Peta's side. She did talk to Miss Callie and explored with her parents. Miss Callie assured that was fine and that all children adjust differently. They asked about the seeing of Addie if the need arose and she ensured that if at times that Clara needed a hug from her big sister, as long as it wasn't interrupting a lesson or a test, they could accommodate that. Clara seemed to relax a bit as she heard that. Everyone seemed to be a bit calmer after seeing that day go by smoothly. 

That following week was the shopping weekend and Clara was slightly excited but getting more and more anxious as they removed a pencil off the chart each night. The morning of shopping, Peta felt a small body climb into bed with her and snuggle under the blankets. 

"Whatcha doing buttercup?" She asked sleepily once she determined it was Clara. 

"I woke up early and I wanted to cuddle." She said simple as she curled into Peta. 

"Okay, momma likes her cuddles." Peta said snuggling Clara in. She pressed a kiss to her forehead as they laid there. "Are you ready for shopping today?" 

"Yeah, but I wish it wasn't school shopping." She said softly 

"Oh baby, I know you're still scared but I really do promise it's going to be okay." 

"How do you know?" Clara asked her head leaning back to look at her mother. 

"Because you are my brave little girl and you are smart, sweet, and kind and I know that even though it'll be hard and scary at first, you're going to have a great time and make lots of friends and learn lots of things." 

"Do I have to be brave?" 

"Maybe just a little bit but you'll get braver each day you go. Just like with your gymnastics." 

"I hope so." Clara said softly as she curled back into Peta. She became silent and Peta let her be. They had many of these conversations over the past week or so as they got closer. They continued assuring Clara that it was okay to be scared but that it would get better and she'd have a great time. She seemed skeptical at the end of each conversation but calmer at the same time.

"So we usually do breakfast before school shopping. Do you want to pick where we're going?" Peta asked her after they snuggled for a little bit. 

"Umm, can we get smoothie bowls? With blueberries?" Clara asked after thinking for a few minutes. 

"I'm pretty certain we can do that. We can go to Berry Bowl." 

"Ohh! I like Berry Bowl! Is it time yet? I'm excited for my smoothie bowl." Clara said perking up. 

"Well, someone needs a shower and clothes and we have to make sure Papa and Addie are awake." Peta said teasingly as she tickled Clara. 

"I'll go wake up Addie and then get my shower. Will you braid my hair today?" 

"Of course baby, whatever outfit you pick, you need tennis shoes today okay? Or your crocs. We're going to be walking a lot." 

"Okay momma. You're in charge of Papa." Clara said slipping off the bed and skipping out of the room. Peta nearly yelped as Maks pulled her back into him but giggled knowing that he had probably been awake nearly for the whole time but let them have their time. 

"Berry Bowl huh? How did we get kids who request smoothies and healthy things?" 

"Cause we showed them they were delicious." Peta said as she flipped over and cuddled into her husband. He pulled her in tight and they laid there for a second until they heard Clara yell in the hallway. 

"ADDIE IS UP. I'M SHOWERING!" She yelped making her parents laugh. At least if she was still terrified of school, she was excited about shopping. 

An hour and a half later, the family was pulling into Berry Bowl. They headed in and began to look at the menu. Addie hoisted Clara onto her back and they looked through the menu together as they waited in line. 

"Addie, can we share a smoothie with our bowls? Momma, can I get the Nutella bowl?" 

"I'll share one with you. I want the York Classic Bowl if that's okay. Just the kid one, the last time we came here and I got the regular, it was way too much." 

"Do you two know what smoothie to you want to share?" 

"Wanna do the Avocado/Blueberry Bliss, Clar?" 

"Sure. We like that one." 

"Okay, you two want to go find a table and Momma and I will be over after we order?" Maks asked the two. 

"Sure Papa. Come on Clara, we can figure out the shopping plan too and where we're going. Is it okay if we pick two little stores to see if they have deals?" Addie asked. 

"That's fine, you know the usual, Addie. Just a few things at those stores and the majority at the department stores." Peta said. 

"Okay, got it. Can we use your phone to look?" Addie asked. Peta nodded and handed Addie the phone after unlocking it. Addie and Clara went over to find a booth for the family. Clara slid in next to Addie and the two started looking at things on Addie's phone. 

"I can't believe how well they get along still." Peta said as she linked her arm through Maks's as they waited in line. 

"Me too. I mean Val and I had the same age gap and we mostly got along but I feel like that was due to circumstance. And we still fought a lot. Just like meaningless sibling stuff but those two are quite the pair. I'm proud of Addie for being the way she is with Clara. That's for sure. I think that has a lot to do with it honestly." 

"I agree. Clara knows that she can go to Addie at any time and she's there. And I know you were the same with Val and I was the same with Sam but this is different. They've fought like twice in their whole entire sisterhood. I keep waiting for Addie to hit the sassy moody teen years and shut down on Clara but it hasn't happened yet. Hopefully it won't happen."

"I hope not too. But I guess we deal with it as it comes. I feel like so far Addie has been receptive to us catching things and us talking to her." 

"Right, I think us starting with her little has helped with that. There were times when I thought we were explaining too much to her but I feel like she knows we're real and honest and that speaks volumes." Peta said as it was finally their turn and they ordered the family's breakfast. Their conversation halted as they took the order number to the table and joined the girls to continue planning their day. The girls had picked Fashion Island so that Addie could show Clara the carousel and because she was familiar with the stores. They picked to go to Splendid and Peek for Clara with Forever 21 & Abercrombie for Addie. Then they choose Macy's, Kohls, and Nordstrom Rack. Clara and Addie both also had some birthday money and allowance money so they asked to go to Claire's, Bath & Body, and Barnes & Noble. 

They made some progress at both of the girl's shop stores before they headed to Macy’s and that's when Clara decided she wanted Addie and her to get something that matched. 

“Addie, can we get something that matches?” Clara asked as they headed to girls’ section in Macy’s. 

“Clara, that’s not….” Peta started in having a good feeling Addie wasn’t going to want to do that. 

“That’s fine Clar, maybe just one or two things though okay?” Addie shrugged looking at her mother. It wasn’t really that big of deal to match her sister. They had done it numerous times and as long as it wasn’t an everyday thing. 

“Yes! Let’s start looking. We can pick something cool out so it’s not too babyish for you.” 

“Thanks Clara. Here papa, will you hold these please so I can help look too?” Addie said as she passed off the bags on her arms to Maks. 

“You three look, I’m going to run these to the cars.” He pressed a kiss to Peta’s cheek and left the three to look. 

“Clara, look at this! This would be cool with a jean jacket over top and either sandals or flats.” Addie said showing Clara a pleated vertically striped dress with a navy belt in the middle. It was striped with shades of blue and pink.

“I like that! Do they have it in both our sizes? Momma is this okay?” Clara eeped excitedly. 

“If you both like it and we can find it, that looks good to me.” Peta said as she started moving through the rack. 

“Addie look at this one too!” Clara said hold a dark jean dress that also had a belt and buttoned down the middle. “We could wear boots or flats” 

“I like that one too! Let’s get them both and try them on if its okay with Momma.” Addie said looking at Peta who nodded her agreement. Clara ended up finding two more dresses that she was in love with that they gathered for this round of trying on. They decided they’d do the matching outfits first and then once Maks was back, the girls could begin finding some of the things they needed. Peta usually had a list of so many tops, pants, and so on that each girl would need to update their clothing for the year. It was a big trip but typically they only did huge clothing trips once a year and then the girls got some around Christmas as well. 

“Ohh! I love them!” Clara said as they came out of the room in their striped dresses first. Addie nodded her head in agreement as she looked in the mirror checking to make sure it looked okay. 

“Whoa, look at my babies. Those dresses make you both look very grown up.” Maks said appearing next to Peta with two smoothies in his hands. “I brought treats!” 

“Oh! I want some!” Clara said bouncing over to Maks. 

“Not til you are in your clothes little one. I want to see what else you picked out. Are you all done shopping here already?” 

“No way papa! Momma said we’d pick out the sister outfits first and then go back for other things.” 

“Ohh, I see. I understand now. Okay lets see the next outfit.” Maks said twirling her before sending her back in. They spent the next few hours between the shops getting the girls everything they needed including a new backpack for Clara and lunch box and then all their supplies before heading to dinner. Once they got home, everyone dispersed to relax from the long day of shopping. 

“Come in.” Addie yelled hearing a knock on her door. 

“Can I read in here with you?” Clara asked as she leaned against her sister’s door jam already in her pjs holding her lovies and her Kindle. 

“Sure, come here.” Addie said as she slid over to let Clara climb in beside her. Having Clara appear in her room to read wasn’t that out of the ordinary but Addie could see that Clara was still worried about Kindergarten starting next week. Clara settled in next to Addie and got her Junie B. Jones' book started on her kindle as she curled up next to her big sister. Addie waited a few minutes thinking Clara was going to say something but started reading as well when Clara stayed silent. 

“Addie…” Clara said softly finally. 

“Yeah Clar?” 

“What if I’m never not scared?” She said with a shaky voice. “I been tryin to be not scared all day today and I liked shopping and having fun and Miss Callie was nice but I’m still scared.” 

“I promise you won’t be scared forever. It may take a little bit to not be scared but I promise it will be okay. I wasn’t as scared as you before the first day got here but then when it finally did, I got super scared in the car on the way there and I refused to get out. I made Papa carry me in and Sophie went with us too. It took me a long time to tell Momma and Papa goodbye but when I did, Miss Callie introduced me to Grace and then it got better. You might take a little longer for it to feel better but I know it won’t be scary forever. I promise.” 

“Pinky promise?” 

“Pinky promise.” Addie said, offering up her pinky. Clara locked hers with Addie and the two did their secret pinkie promise shake they started about a year ago. 

“Will you go in with me like you said Sophie went in with you?” 

“Yeah I can do that. We’ll probably take you first and then I’ll go down to my room.” 

“Okay, thanks Addie.” Clara whispered softly. 

“Anytime Clar, I’m your big sister. I’ll always be here to help. Here want me to read to you instead of the kindle?” Addie offered. Clara nodded and snuggled into her sister as she began to read. After a little bit Addie felt Clara’s head get heavy on her arm and realized she had fallen asleep. She shifted in the bed pulling Clara over before laying her Kindle down beside them. She curled up on the pillow next to her sister and fell asleep quickly as well. School shopping was extremely exhausting. 

The morning of school, both girls were up early, Addie out of excitement, Clara out of pure fear. Maks made his usual first day of school breakfast which consisted of FunFetti pancakes, fruit salad, and bacon. Clara hardly touched any of her food before Peta gave up and took her to do her hair. 

“How do you want to do your hair buttercup? How about we put your romper on and then you can decide after that.” Peta said as she found the romper Clara had picked to wear the first day. It was navy with butterflies and flowers all over it. Clara had only picked it because it was similar to the dress Addie had planned on wearing today as well. She handed the romper to Clara and helped her get in it before helping her get settled on the counter.

“Okay do you have any ideas?” Peta asked, to which she got a shrug. She figured she wasn’t going to get many answers out of Clara but wanted to try. 

“Curls or no curls?” 

“Curls.” Clara said softly. “You pick.” 

“Okay, let’s see. Here, you put some music on while we do your hair.” Peta said handing Clara her cell phone hoping the distraction would help some. She chose The Greatest Showman soundtrack and just sat there holding the phone while Peta worked on her hair. She curled the bottom and then pulled a few pieces back before intertwining them so that they looked like she had a heart in her hair. 

“All done baby. Here I gave you a heart.” Peta said holding up the mirror so Clara could see what her hair turned out like. 

“Thank you momma.” Clara said softly with a half smile. 

“You’re welcome buttercup, I promise you’re going to like Kindergarten. I’m going to go do Addie’s hair, you can either come with me or go down with Papa. He’s packing Addie’s lunch.” 

“I don’t have to lunch right?” 

“No, you only go for a half day, Papa and I will pick you up before lunch. Some days we will pack you a lunch if you’re going to come to the dance studio after school with us though. That sound okay?” 

“Yeah.” She said reaching for Peta’s hand. She went with Peta to do Addie’s hair and waited quietly as Peta tied Addie’s hair in a similar style minus the need to curl it. Addie was wearing a flowy navy dress with tiny flowers all over it. The dress came with a long tan light sweater that she had on also. 

“Okay, you’re both done. We just have to go get your bags and then we’ll head out.” Peta said after confirming Addie was good with her hair. 

“Can we have a minute?” Addie asked Peta looking at Clara who had stayed silent the entire time. 

“Yeah sure sweet pea, just a few minutes though we do need to go so we have time to take you both.” Addie nodded and Peta left the two alone. Addie led them over to her bed and put Clara up on it so she could see her. 

“So I have something for you. I know this isn’t going to help all the way but at least you’ll have something with you all day to help you feel a little more safe. Turn around.” Addie said as she reached for something off her bedside table. She had decided last night to give Clara one of her necklaces to wear while she was at school in hopes of helping her sister feel a little less alone. 

“Addie.” Clara said as her fingers came up and touched the necklace. “This is your special heart necklace.” 

“I know, I thought it was more important for you to wear it for now. I’m going to let you borrow it until you aren’t so nervous about school. And this way you have my heart, momma’s heart, and papa’s heart with you all the time.” Addie said. The necklace had been one that Addie had actually bought herself and had been a little more on the expensive side for an eleven year old. She had found it the day after her tenth birthday party and fell in love with it. Being that they had just done birthday presents, Maks and Peta told Addie that she'd have to use her own money to get the necklace. 

"Are you sure?" Clara asked in sheer shock as she looked in her sister's dresser mirror. 

"Yeah, I'm positive. I want you to feel safe. Come on now, momma said we have to hurry so I can come to your room too." Addie said holding her hand out for Clara. Clara slid off the bed but instead of taking Addies hand, wrapped her sister up in a tight hug. 

"Thank you." She murmured. 

"You're welcome Clar." Addie said before leading them downstairs. They got some pictures before leaving. Clara remained quiet in the car not really talking to anyone. Once they got to the school, Maks moved to get her out. He went to sit her on the ground but she refused to let go of him. Her grip tightening on his neck.

"Okay, okay, I got you, you cant choke me tho little one. I'll carry you." He could feel her panic fully set in as her body began to shake. He looked at Peta nervously as she gathered Clara's bag and her supply contribution. 

"Its okay Clara." Addie said as she moved next to Maks. Peta came around as well and the group started towards the school. They headed in and made their way to Clara's room where Miss Callie was waiting in the doorway. 

"Addie! Hi! Who are you here with?" The young teacher said even though she already knew the relationship. She seen Clara's death grip on her father so she decided to focus on Addie rather than force herself on Clara. 

"My sister Clara. She's really scared. More scared than I was but I told her you'd keep her safe and make sure she has fun. And I told her I was right down the hall."

"That's right and were gonna find her a buddy just like you with Grace. I actually have another little girl who is pretty scared too. Maybe they can help each other, what do you think?" 

"I think that's good. See Clara I told you she'd help you find a friend."

“Hi Clara, I’m glad to see you today. I can’t wait to have so much fun today.” Miss Callie said. 

“Can I take her to her cubby?” Addie asked looking between her parents and Miss Callie. 

“Sure, she can hang her bag and coat in there.” Miss Callie said. 

“Come with me Clara.” Addie said softly to her sister. Maks went to put her down but she refused to let go of his neck. 

“It’s okay little one, we aren’t leaving. Addie is just taking you to hang up your bag.” Maks said, trying to put her down one more time. She hesitated but then let him put her down but immediately latched onto her sister’s arm before Addie led them away. 

“She’s going to be harder than Addie but I think after some time she’ll be okay.” Callie said looking at the two parents who looked concerned. 

“You’d still call if she’s not okay by 10ish?” Peta asked. 

“Yeah, honestly as long as she’s not hysterical, we’d let her be unless you all voiced otherwise. We’ve found it best to comfort but not focus on the upset. Sometimes when we hone in on that, it just gives them the impression to keep it up and then they’ll get their way. And understand by no means does that mean we’re going to let her sit crying. I just mean if she’s just being quiet and not super interactive we’re not going to call you to come get her. If she’s crying, I’ll keep her with me or one of my helpers will do that.” 

“Okay, I think we’re okay with that. Since she’s the younger one, she’s never really been without either of us and her sister at the same time. Especially with people she doesn’t know. She’s also the softer, quieter, more internal one of the two.” Maks said. 

“I understand that, definitely situations we’ve encountered in the past. We’ll get through this. And like I told Addie, I have another little girl, Lena, who seems to be the same way as her. I think rather than pairing them with a little bit more bold, I’m going to put them together.”

“We did it.” Addie returned with Clara who immediately moved back to Maks and put her hands up. Instead of picking her up, he bent down and let her cuddle into him that way. 

“Okay Little one, Momma and I are going to go, we’re going to take Addie down to her room. We’ll be back in 2 Frozens. You’re going to have a great morning with Miss Callie. She’s got a friend for you to play with, her name is Lena. I heard she’s pretty scared too so maybe you guys can work together to be brave.” Make said giving her a kiss and a tight squeeze before sending her over to Peta despite her death grip on his neck. 

“Alright buttercup, I know you’re scared but I promise Papa and I wouldn’t send you anywhere you wouldn’t have fun just like with gymnastics. You’re gonna have fun with Lena and Miss Callie and you’re going to learn so much like Addie does. I love you baby.” Peta said giving her a hug and kiss before attempting to stand up. Clara however wouldn’t let go. 

“Ill see you later Clara, you’re gonna have fun and remember.” Addie said touching the necklace around Clara’s neck. Clara looked at Addie with her eyes full of tears as they began to slide down her checks. Maks sighed audibly in worry. 

“Come on Clara, I’m going to take you over to meet Lena and then you’ll have a friend. It’s okay I promise. See she’s over there in the cozy corner cause she’s super scared too. She didn’t want her mommy and daddy to leave either.” Clara looked between both of her parents and her sister who all nodded encouragingly before she reached out a trembling hand to Miss Callie. Miss Callie took it and pulled the little girl into her side before she turned them away from the waiting three. Maks led their group away too. 

“What happens if she stays super scared and crying Momma?” Addie asked as they headed down to her room. 

“They’ll call me and papa in about an hour and then we’ll figure out what to do from there.” Peta said. 

“Oh. will they let me help?” 

“I don’t think so sweet pea, I think they want to focus on her getting used to this even if it’s really hard. Seeing you may make it harder on her too. I seen you gave her your necklace to wear. That was sweet of you.” 

“Yeah, I wanted her to have something to keep her feeling safe and knowing we were with her.” 

“Thank you sweet pea, you really are such a great big sister.” 

“Clara!” They heard someone yell before Maks felt a tiny body crash into his legs. He turned around and found Clara clinging to him tightly with tears running down her face. Miss Callie and another little girl were at the end of the hall looking worried. 

“Little one.” Maks said softly. 

“I can’t, I can’t.” She said between sobs as he held onto her father. He picked her up and held her rubbing her back. 

“Shhh, it’s okay, it’s okay.” He said trying to settle her some. “Im going to take her back. Addie are you okay with just Momma for now?” 

“Yeah papa…..” She trailed off watching her sister in concern. 

“It’ll be okay sweet pea.” Peta said softly as she pulled Addie into her side. 

“You have a great first day baby, I can’t wait to hear all about it later okay? I love you.” Maks said as he hugged Addie and pressed a kiss to her head. Peta turned and led them down the hall as Maks went the other way with Clara only causing her sobs to intensify. 

“I’m sorry, I was introducing her to Lena and she took off.” Miss Callie said looking worried. 

“It’s okay, can I have a little bit with her and then I’ll bring her back in?” 

“Sure.” Miss Callie said clearly shook up. She had never had that happen before. He nodded his thanks before walking across the hall and started working on calming his little girl. It took a good five minutes before he got her calm enough to where he could talk to her. 

“Clara, baby, I need you to listen for a minute before we talk about school. I know  you’re scared and you don’t want Momma and I to go but you can’t do that. You can’t run away from Miss Callie. What if Momma and I hadn’t been right there and you’d have gotten lost? Do you know how scary that would be for me and Momma and Miss Callie? We don’t want anything to happen to you. Can you please promise me you won’t do that again?” 

“I promise….” She said as her tears continued to stream down her face but she was no longer sobbing and gasping for breath. 

“Thank you. Now I know you’re scared. I know it. I can see it. I can feel it. If this wasn’t something that we all didn’t have to do, Momma and I wouldn’t make you. But you have to go to school. Addie goes to school, Sophie goes to school, Anya will go to school next year. I went, Momma went. We all have to do it. I can’t take you home baby, you have to try for me. Can you try to be a big brave girl for me?” 

“I….I….I don’t know.” She said as her tears started to fall harder and she fell into Maks’s chest hard. 

“I’m scared too.” A little voice came from beside Maks. Miss Callie and a little girl had appeared at some point and the little girl was looking at Clara with huge concern in her eyes. 

“Sorry I think it distracted her but made her worried too.” Miss Callie said apologetically. 

“It’s okay. See little one, you aren’t the only one cared, errr….umm……” Maks said not sure of the girls name, assuming it was the same one but couldn’t remember what they had said her name was. 

“Lena.” Miss Callie supplied. 

“Lena is scared too. I know you want me or Momma or Addie but do you think you can work with Lena and see if you can try to be not so scared together.” Clara looked at the little girl beside her. She had long dark black hair and was wearing a similar jumper with a Frozen bracelet on. 

“Look you two even match.” Peta said coming up behind them. 

“I’m scared too Clara. We can be scared together.” 

“And I’ll be right there with you too. Maybe you two can even be either my special helper today or help Miss Lindsay. That way you’ll have a big person with you all morning. Would that help?” Miss Callie said softly. Clara shrugged in response. 

“Buttercup, do you think you can try for Papa and me? After school we can maybe go get lunch together and see Anya? That way you’ll have something to look forward to?” Peta said resorting to a bribe. 

“Panera?” Clara asked softly. 

“We can do Panera.” Maks said with a chuckle. 

“I don’t want to but I’ll try.” Clara said reaching for Lena’s hand deciding that maybe sticking with the other little girl was a good idea. 

“I’m so proud of you baby. Momma and I will see you in a little bit.” Maks said kissing her once more before helping her off his knee and letting her go in with Miss Callie and Lena. This time it felt a little better even though it was clearly tense. 

“You okay?” Peta asked Maks. She had been more worried about Addie when they went through this with her but she knew the bond Maks and Clara had was something and knew he’d be extra worried about her. 

“I’ll be better when this day is over. That scared the hell out of me Peta. I didn’t want to leave her here kicking and screaming. That just feels wrong.” 

“I agree. I’m glad the other little girl wanted to come out and help. I hope that works in her favor. I know she’s scared but she’s so sweet and smart as it is. I feel like she’ll love this once she gets past the fear of being away from us.” 

“I agree. Let’s get out of here so we can maybe get the time to pass quick.”

“Okay, I need to call Sharna and make sure she and Anya are available to visit later.” Peta said as she wrapped her arm around her husband's waist and tucked into him giving him a squeeze as they headed out. 

“I didn’t think you have checked before hand.” Maks said laughing at his wife's quick little lie. 

“I didn’t, I don’t think they were doing anything today since Sharna said to have both girls call when they got home to see how their days went. Just a little different take on that.” Peta said once as they got in the car. She called her best friend who said they could even meet them for lunch if they wanted and let the two play for a while after. Peta accepted and said she’d see them at 12:30. She and Maks took care of some office stuff before going to get Clara finally. She was still a ball of nerves but Miss Callie said that she and Lena had played a little bit and participated in circle time. She introduced them to Lena’s parents and they swapped numbers so they could maybe get the girls set up in some play dates to help with their friendship and school fears. Clara refused to really talk about her day so Maks and Peta let her be. She perked up some while playing with Anya but then resumed her quietness once they were home moving between Maks and Peta staying glued to them. There were continued tears at night and in the mornings for the next few weeks but she slowly started to adjust and eventually enjoyed school only to have Christmas break come around and end up back at square one. This time it didn’t take as long for her to adjust and she began to really enjoy school. 

***Done! Okay, so I could have kept going and going with this one. I’ve been working on it for a few days so hopefully those of you that are still here enjoy. I’ll open up requests since it seems like this quarantine thing may last a bit. I can’t promise I’ll get to them all but I’ll do my best. You can request off any of my old stuff (Begin Again, Fix a Heart, Song Requests, Quote Requests, or here in A Time to Grow). Don’t forget to comment and let me know what ya thought!