..

I’m not talking anything to do with conformation— I’m talking turnout, rider, etc.

Looks like we’re all in agreement on dirty horses and bad quality photos!

A few 15 second clips stapled together - now I’m suspicious that your horse can’t keep their shit together for more than 15 sec.

Only straight sides

Horses advertised as quiet because they have a 5 year old child on them - put an amateur on them who is asking them to do stuff but not necessarily correct,then I’ll believe its quiet

Photos or videos which show excessive tail flicking, and definitely no contact issues - especially if it’s the cover photo on a website, if it’s only one on fb then mesh,but if it’s the only one I see then I’m way more likely to keep scrolling

As Chris said, bad angles or shots of the stride. Arthur’s photo was terrible - he was advertised for THREE MONTHS before I actually clicked on his ad because there was nothing else left. And then I called straight away, but the cover photo was awful.

Video taken fucking horizontally (Justin ily but WHY)

I would assume anything with POA is 40k + - if you want 20k, dont put POA, cos I won’t ask

NO WALK FOOTAGE WHY

Phone photos or screenshots, bad lighting - not enough to turn off but enough that I would be more likely to haggle cos I assume they are unprofessional. Same with poorly turned out riders and horses.

Bonuses -

Transitions are huge, especially between gaits for young horses.

Not showing both directions??

3 minutes of the same thing. Like I get it, the horse can trot to the left.

A whole bunch of photos before the video starts. Just show the video, I saw the photos in the ad.

@transequeerstrian —agreed, I’m also like very biased because of where I work but when I see a rider perched on their pelvis and the horse is being listen in the 20k+ range it’s a super turn-off. Like if you can’t sit on the horse and let it actually show off then what else is wrong with the way you ride and train? If you’re shelling out five figures on a horse then you best not immediately have to rectify basic training issues.

POA is definitely a turn off, I always assume if you’re not gonna put the price on the ad I can’t afford it.

If it’s going for more than like, 6-7k I expect to see either its show record or its pedigree - if I’m buying a dressage horse or a jumper or whatever, I want some guarantee it can do what it says on the box in a competative environment.

Watermarked professional photos. Don't be that guy

Jumping photos taken awkwardly (take off, really uneven legs etc)

If anyone was wondering what I was talking about with a recent-ish post about people advertising their 20+yr old thoroughbreds on facebook, something I see all the time and absolutely hate.

January: “Unbranded”: promoting the mustang? or just a group of stupid thrill seeking college kids knowingly putting their horses lives in danger? “Take your rich bitch money and fat mouth elsewhere”:  The “If you say everyone needs a trainer, you’re elitist” mantra.  The State of America: Judge Qualifications.  Horse Slaughter: livestock animal, best friend, or both? ALERT: Police on high alert after the word “piaffe” was mentioned by an unqualified individual. Those unintentional suicide jokes.  What brand is your bridle? Our experts weigh in on what your bridle says about your financial status.  LDR vs Rolkur, AGAIN… The Facts: Is there a correlation between liking a certain breed and preferring a certain style of horse management? 

February:  Conspiracy: Theveganmothership and Banallequinesports are the same person.  NEWSFLASH: putting stallions in the same area so they can sort out their hierarchy under the careful eyes of their owners is abusive and disgusting.  “jfc Janet BAIL is what you have when you are in jail and BALE is what hay is in.  Learn to fckn spell”  Halters: Nylon vs. Leather?  Safety vs. Aesthetics?  Helmet Girl strikes again!  Weighted tails, weighted bits, and other training nonsense.     

March:  Real Talk: is it Horseblr or Horsblr? Arthur’s absolutely appalling joke of a browband.  Some interesting A circuit hunters drama that had something to do with burn marks??  Do we or do we not want barrel racers to wear helmets with cowboy hat attachments: safety vs aesthetics part 2.  “My daddy bought me an import and I only see it once a month”.  The bald face debate. Salt against saddleseat. Dogblr vs Horsblr: Cesar Milan edition.  The Pénélope Leprevost incident. 

April:  Can horses be assholes on purpose?  Barrel Racing and Dressage:  Are the two disciplines on equal grounds?  Bits in the Hunter Ring: What the riders don’t want you to see.  BREAKING NEWS: Witnesses say a photo of an average quarter horse preforming  piaffe circulated created uproar among dressage enthusiasts convinced that only warmbloods are capable of such movements. Australia’s ridiculous National Security laws and what they have to do with not vaccinating your horse.  Animal welfare concerns: clipping horses for the winter.  NEW INFO: Lainey Ashker killed her horses!

May:  Famous self proclaimed horseman Clinton Anderson flips a horse over: Was it preventable?  TONIGHT ON 7 NEWS: Horsblr’s collective obsession with the piaffe.  Vague blogging at its finest.  You can’t take your horse out on hacks unless you have exposed them to every single possible flight response trigger, otherwise, you suck.  Double twisted wire bits on Hunter ponies: Hot or not?  If you use two saddle pads, you are the DEVIL.  The saga continues: Tear Lainey’s dressage skills apart but Edward Gal is untouchable.

June:  Mares vs. Geldings.  Proper ‘Eq’: What happened to shoulder hip heel? Dogblr weighs in: Adopting vs. Buying. 

July:  Exposing your young horse to show jumping: ABUSE.  Page 45, section 4, subsection 5, paragraph 2 of Hunter barn ‘eq’tiquette dictates that you can’t drink water during lessons… (its a sign of weakness)  Also, page 27, section 2 says that praising your horse before leaving the ring is frowned upon and points may be deducted. Falsterbo Horse Show footage.  Clinton Anderson’s “death to tree huggers” video controversy.  

August: CWD Female Saddle: Sexist? or does since and physiology back their products up?  Stronger bits for stronger horses: an indicator for lack or training.  RIO 2016 ~ super cresty lusitanos, Adeline Cornellisen scratches mid test (what a hero) Country of Origin Bias: Kittel vs Ward.  Vulture squad vs. Bench bitches??? 

September:  Spanking your horse: acceptable or barbaric?  Negative Reinforcement: a  non-aversive, magical method of communication between you an your horse <3.  Our readers weigh in on how your sex life may correlate with how you handle horsblr discourse. 

October:  “People who can’t afford to take quality care of their pets have every right to continue to own their animals”.  Polo wraps are always a valid reason to start drama.

November:  Donald Trump is elected…  On barn dogs and which ones to shoot.  WHAT KIND OF SQUASH IS THAT?!  Poor horse folk outraged and left feeling bitter after Cylana sold to young rider for 3 million USD.  Attention: There is only one true way to lunge your horse, only one, thats it.  The chaff discourse.