There's No H In The Bitch

The Gothic Pool of Landa, Burgos, Spain 

Home for Jon Piper in Palm Springs, CA (1980) 

Designed by James Callahan 

Okay, like, I only have one opinion about Venom as a character and I believe in it with my whole entire being so I’m just going to say it.

Preface: So we are all on the same page about the Symbiote is in love with Eddie Brock, right?? And Eddie loves the Symbiote. They use the word ‘love’ in-text. It’s romantic and sexual and obsessive and fucked-up and mutually self-destructive and gross and heart-rending and real and 100% canon. They consider themselves married. This is basic-level Venom lore. Okay, we’re all in agreement, right? Good.

Remember that meme about how Venom isn’t drawn with a dick but since the Symbiote is more than just a full-body sleeve, and he’s got his own discrete systems and shit, he honestly should have a dick, right?? Re: that hypothetical dick… C’mon, it’s so simple. I dunno why no one else has ever said it. I dunno why no one else has ever thought it. It’s almost too obvious. I’ve known where that dick is my whole entire life. I thought everyone would know.

I said it back then, but only in the tags. I should have just gone all-out and said it outright. But I didn’t, and now there’s Venomfuckers everywhere and normies across the globe are freaking out about how 2018!movie!Symbiote makes out with 2018!movie!Eddie and nobody seems to like. Get it. And that’s driving me balls-out insane. So I’m just gonna say it.

The Symbiote’s dick is turned inside-out, rock-hard, lubed-up, and sheathed to the hilt inside of Eddie Brock’s red-hot puckered asshole 24/7/365, gently rocking into him at all times.

There. I said it. The world may not be ready for the truth but this is the hill I will die on. Venom is fucking himself every minute of every day. During fights. During chase scenes. Downtime. Mealtime. Bedtime. Anytime. Every single drawing of Venom ever drawn, they’re fucking. Eddie’s getting his ass lovingly plowed. He and the Symbiote are connected and entwined forever, one and the same. That’s why Venom’s dick isn’t visible. It’s just on the inside. And inside of Eddie Brock. And very, very busy.