SLUTS GO

my grams passed away 4-18-19

It’s interesting when you shed a layer of yourself and grow into the mold you’ve been working on. It takes a while for it to sink in, but it’s all familiar in the most unfamiliar way. A big oxymoron on your life. You know what’s going on, but you don’t know what’s going on. 

There’s a shift in the air and you’re wondering why your thoughts aren’t reverting to what it normally does. The mind is constantly on guard and wondering “what’s next,” and the strangest thing comes up. “I’m good,” but you’re not good. Well... you are. You just aren’t used to it, because you have broken a pattern that has been unmoveable for the longest time. 

At this point, it’s a tug a war. The ego goes back to what it knows, but your conscious tells you otherwise... in the stranges ways. It’s our job to listen. It doesn’t have to be scary. It’s actually exciting. It’s as if you’re seeing life for what it is once again. 

Life’s a funny thing. 

It’s all lessons and patterns that reoccur until we take another route to what we want and deserve. I never saw life that way and always thought “this is how it is,” but I also never saw me as in control of it either. 

Knowing is only half the battle. Action is where it’s at. 

she was nice for a while

Her temporary presences felt like a long-term addiction.

wanting more but feeling less

slowly falling back into the dark

instant gratification with the slightest taste of her

worlds turning but nothing new

so high as her laugh danced around my jokes

oh my familiar friend... you can not stay

what is the purpose when you will just run off at night?

i’m day dreaming.