† . 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐄 - 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐒 .
‶ i never thought i’d ever be sayin’ this to you, ‘cause i really can’t stress enough how much i ain’t a fan of you or your brothers and sisters — but somethin’ happened last night and it fucked me up and i need y'to — ″
she cuts off, 'cause she needs to figure out how to word this properly and she’s too caught up in the fact that when she needed the angels, the ones her momma [who she has always thought was the devil, how’s that for irony] always made her pray to when she was little, never showed up when she begged for help. even when the prayers were made through tears and a raw throat [screaming and yelling at the devil, it takes a toll] , nothing. when her powers got the kickstart they needed, when she died for that brief moment in murky waters, they never came. whenever she WANTED them, she never got them. knowing now what they truly are – not some little halo wearin’ thing on her shoulder, not some pure force that could wipe her tears away and lead her down the right path and help her through the dark — she thinks that maybe it was a blessing they never heard her.
the funny thing is, and oh boy did it make her laugh, she actually needed him for once. wanted him to pop in without warning, which always makes her jump and let out a string of expletives, and yet he never came. she had to deal with something she’s never had to deal with and yeah sure she came out fine but — she doesn’t know how she did. Hell knows how to fiddle, just ask the devil about good ol’ johnny and how he whooped his ass. probably set a fire in him to make sure it wouldn’t happen again. make sure that any bet for a soul will always end in hell’s favor.
the offer had been enticing, her soul for 15 years of normalcy. she’d almost said yes to the man in black but in the split second before she signed everything away — she remembered that she won’t have 15 years. it’s gonna be the end of the world as she knows it and she is not feelin’ fine – but she’s got a job, despite how much she tries to deviate from the established rules and responsibilities that come with it. sure there are others out there doin’ the same thing as her — but with what’s coming, all hands are gonna be needed on deck. so she said no and had to keep saying no no no no no until that evil slunk back through the door she never wants to go through. she knows it’ll happen again and again and again 'cause they’re tryin’ to build an army that rivals heaven’s and they need every soul they can draft into it.
they’re weak, but they are SMART. cunning and conniving and smooth talking, the lot of them. she’s been sending too many souls down there lately and her heart breaks for all those that never deserved that fate. a woman who wrote away her fate 'cause she needed to escape the hell she was in as a child — that was the worst. to try and get out of hell, she had to consign herself to eternity in it. how twisted and fucked is that? that soul was the first she’d tried to fuck the rules with and send her through the other door. it almost worked, almost.
she realizes she’s been holding her breath while she’s been lost in her head, staring off into the distance without any sort of focus, so she lets it out and gets back to what she was saying. there’s no malice in her voice, but there is a slight bit of fear. she’s scared, which in turn scares her even more when she thinks on it 'cause genevieve fucking ohara doesn’t get scared with this shit anymore. so now that she is and it’s becoming more and more frequent — oh lord does it mess with her.
she clears her throat, shakes her head to come back from wherever it was she had gone to in that small moment, and fixes him with an emotionless look. he doesn’t do or understand emotions so showing any wouldn’t help her in the end.
‶ can y'stick around tonight? i was gonna just stay up, not go to sleep, but i’ve tried it before and it doesn’t work. just makes the paperwork pile up. i have a reason, don’t you go thinkin’ i just want y'around. they’re startin’ to send in bigger guns, crossroads right now. i don’t wanna see what they’ll send in next. i never fuckin’ wanted this shit, and they know that and they’re using it and they get into my head and — they tend to stay clear when you’re around. i don’t want y'here, but i need y'here. that make sense? ″
HE LISTENS , waits for her words to smoothen . movements traced with , for once , warm gaze . descried fist , above all else , a divulged terror adorning her . the conclusion to this tome approaches , their time’s running short ; how many pages left to turn until heaven’s commander and its vile serpent stood ‘gainst each other ? brothers slaying brothers , this wretched prophecy's a tomb . to abide his father’s wishes , his own misery he could over look . hers he cannot - he needs her in a serene state of mind . ( can angels feel fear ? can they shed tears ? ) they both have anxieties of their own . his sword still denies him and denies and this denial brings with itself ruinous consequences ; the winchesters’ faith in their own volition was a plague infesting heaven . a sickness - doubt - spreading fast and what could he do , but fuel the dying fires of the angels’ will ? for after all , who , alone and by themselves , can win a war ?
ANGEL : METAPHOR FOR CATATONIC ! he’s a dead language . statue of vacancy , one carved epochs ago , now takes to crumbling . seas of turmoil flood his stoic manner as if it were the city of atlantis . ❛ this was partially my fault , for leaving you and . . . not coming sooner . ❜ michael looks to her , frown etching into his features . grand unveiling of simmering regret , apologetic notes haunt a hushed timbre . sentiment that blooms - a novelty , like flowers growing in a graveyard . thorns betwixt tendons ; pricking , tearing open his throat , ❛ but you need to understand ; there are preparations being made in heaven , i can’t remain here , guarding you at all times . and really , handling a few stray demons shouldn’t be too much of a challenge for you . ❜ she , sufferess ; heart a cathedral . in her , he catches a glimpse of humanity’s virtues .
IT’S MUCH WORSE , he knows , but negation stains his mind . loathly maggots ; manifestation of desperation . they swarm her , hoards of wretched devastation . here , the pathology of their desire - the forbidden fruit they crave , the triumph they cannot obtain . she , ripe for the taking , and they , the worms to leave her rotting . ( their serpentine temptations ; how long unto she succumbed ? ) he can’t stand by her side always , though he wishes he could , if it would keep her safe delicacy for the starved , the hell-dwelling .
Q : what comes first ? duty to that which is holy , or becoming synonymous with sanctuary for her ? A : heaven shall mourn the ambrosial presence of its viceroy for a night .
❛ i’ll admit , given your usual lack of enthusiasm aimed at me , this comes off as a surprise . . . ❜ a small jest , perhaps uttered at the wrong time , as he sits down on a nearby chair , eyes locked in hers . he’d loathe for the bite of fate’s cruelty to reach her . ( has it not already ? is she not already cursed ? ) she was undeserving of this , she never asked for it , the least he could do was provide safety , radiate holy . ❛ i’ll stay , if it comforts you . ❜
GENUINITY ! artless concern dances in his words , a wisp of emotion , ❛ humans generally function better when they’ve rested . when’s the last time you slept ? ❜
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