Sophia's right hand (b)witch.

I was compelled. To forget everything, Sam. I blackmailed a witch to bring my memories back and it was the most physically excruciating thing I’ve experienced in my entire life. It doesn’t matter how much we love them. Vampires will never be good.

Let’s see, it was a while after falling in love with this vampire that we started talking about his sister with the same last name— Diana. Only, it turned out, they weren’t related, they were married. And I still tried to befriend her, which she not-so-gracefully declined before trying to kill me multiple times while also enlightening me that her definition of fun was blood.Then, I walked in on her cheating on her husband, or about to, and when I told him she thanked me for giving her a reason for her and her husband, whom she’ll never deserve, to fuck like animals. — Like, how could a vampire be so good at playing victim? You’re not the fucking victim!

That’s because I was using my judgey voice.

Okay, lets hear it.

You dated Diana Rudd. So clearly, you’re lying.

A lot of judgement in your voice there.

Are you sure? Absolutely sure?

Positive. I have a will of iron.

Really? Are you sure my eyes are your favorite thing about me?

You're not getting me with that.

Perhaps I shouldn’t try that. I promise that I will set off my smoke detector in the process.

We should. It'll be fun.

What else is a girl supposed to do when she’s bored? I told myself that I would try to stray from shopping a bit. 

We could try baking those cookies.

Don’t laugh at me.

Who says you can’t try on Halloween costumes in July? I happen to think dressing up is fun.

What a challenge. 

I’ve got to stop talking, your head won’t fit through the door. 

Well, it needs to fit all my hair, doesn't it?